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Post by phil on Feb 27, 2010 22:11:55 GMT
I got to write this it's the way I feel I feel I've coasted through life just creating victims. Not just my children by giving them adhd. Not just my wife by being the self centered prick, lazy c***, ect, ect, that she called me But I have been creating victims all my life ex girl friends, friends people I don't even know I come on here and there's nobody saying I had adhd/add and I'm cured I myself am a victim of something I did not ask for I did not want, Upsetting as it may sound I can only see one way out! People are igronant I tell my own mother to f*** off when she says why don't you clean up ect; Another victim of my abuse
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 27, 2010 23:24:36 GMT
When you feel like you are the cause of so many problems and disapointments and the only sense you keep coming up with is it's all my fault........you're going to feel really angry. I can relate to what you say about yourself completely, except I did not know why I was so different and the self blame is unbearable. It has got better for me since I was diagnosed and so I can stop beating myself up about my failures.
The way I see it is nobody is perfect and we all have to give and take, some apparently more than others. But maybe your chance will come to put whatever your strengths are into play soon, you may not think you have any right now but you have them sure enough even if they are buried under layers of self-blame.
By the way where abouts in South Wales are you, I live in Pembrokeshire and had to go all the way to Bridgend to get my diagnosis. I would never had known if it hadn't been for my son, I tell him that at least he knows what he's got and can be aware of what might be going on in his head......I didn't, I just thought I was one of a kind of the worst and weirdest can't cope with the simplest thing, nobody likes you because you act strange people! AND it was all my fault.
Guess what, things are better now, I don't take drugs (although I drink a fair amount of wine) and I married a man who also has ADHD! Some how we muddle along, and we do understand each other and we have 3 children. 1 with adhd, 1 more than likely although not diagnosed with adhd and 1 completely not got adhd!
I hope this helps.
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Post by phil on Feb 27, 2010 23:48:06 GMT
I have found drinking helps me get things gone! And ibupron to a lesser extent! But I can't do it for the rest of my life I've been living in gwent for years! I can't recall how long lol before I moved up here I lived in cardiff!
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Post by boo on Feb 28, 2010 20:06:18 GMT
hi phil i can understand where your coming from and in truth i wish i knew what the answer was.
my thinking is that people arent coming on here saying hey i have/had adhd and i'm cured because there is no 'cure'. just an understanding and a re-evaluation of things that can be changed or helped with the knowledge of why.
why we behave the way we do and why things dont always seem to happen the way they do for the folk around us.
and then theres acceptance of the things gone by, i have spent alot of time blaming myself for everything that has gone wrong.
and many of them are true, but they are not the only truth and all i can do is try and fix the bits that i am responsible for. others have to remain responsible for their part in life too.
just because i say things differently doesnt make my point less valid but it is down to me to try and find a way to say them that will make them more likely to be listened to
i think part of being able to change the present and the future is to let go of the past. not easy i know when theres so much of it but dwelling on it isnt gonna change it. so i think its important to focus on what can be changed and to try and take it one step at a time.
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