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Post by optomistic65 on Jun 10, 2011 10:56:23 GMT
I'm probably going to be strung up for saying this, but I believe that it's really important that we hold ourselves accountable for the behaviour that ADHD, ADD, OCD, ODD, Autistic etc brings out in us.
We should accept that for every action there is going to be a reaction. Some people use their diagnosis as a "get out of jail free" card, thinking that it's an excuse to stop making an effort to control their behaviour.
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Post by optomistic65 on Jun 10, 2011 11:04:39 GMT
p.s. Stephen, I don't blame you being angry with your parents. It's really crap to cut someone off/communicate through a 3rd party like that.
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Post by boo on Jun 11, 2011 8:28:28 GMT
I'm probably going to be strung up for saying this, but I believe that it's really important that we hold ourselves accountable for the behaviour that ADHD, ADD, OCD, ODD, Autistic etc brings out in us. We should accept that for every action there is going to be a reaction. Some people use their diagnosis as a "get out of jail free" card, thinking that it's an excuse to stop making an effort to control their behaviour. I totally agree Optomistic! But I also think that on the flip side if there is no understanding at all from the NT then the last paragraph becomes what we all fight to try and say we are not doing and that there are times when it simply isn't possible... if it were we wouldn't be here, we wouldn't be on meds and we would be fighting for better recognition that ADHD does carry on causing difficulties into adulthood and doesn't just disappear on our 18th birthday! .........and in some cases recognition that it exists at all I think its about finding the right balance between the two, not dismissed totally but not used as a given right to be a knob either
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Post by optomistic65 on Jun 11, 2011 12:07:39 GMT
Absolutely Boo, no one like knobs LOL X
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Post by crazylostgirl on Dec 31, 2011 21:08:06 GMT
prop is your fault for passing it on to your kids,
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Post by mizmog on Jan 2, 2012 11:57:46 GMT
My mother has been blaming me for yrs, and even though I hv a diagnoses of ADHD and aspergers, I still blame myself too! It's easier now that I have nothing to do with my family because I don't hv the constant picking and attacks on my personality... Now there's only me that picks me apart!
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spikeyxx
Member's not posted much yet
Posts: 30
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Post by spikeyxx on Jan 20, 2012 0:03:01 GMT
My mother works as a Lifeskills officer helping vulnerable people and we've had some amazing arguments come rows about this subject. She is believes very strongly that everybody has problems, and she seems to go out of her way to sell this idea that no persons struggle is worse than the next persons. That everybody is normal.
I disagree with this wholeheartedly, as for me, and for many people I've spoken to, I knew ALL my life that I had a harder time with things than most other people did. What I mean by this, is the pure effort it took to concentrate, and not be bad as a child, and all the other barriers ADD brings as a child. The fact that I got as far as I did, and didn't fail completely, to me, is something I'm very proud off.
Some people would find me very petty for thinking that way, but to me, it's been one of the few things I can pat myself on the back for.
I know it's a neuroses to use such a negative notion as self re-enforcing tool, but it works for me.
Her position strips my achievements of any worth, as it puts everyone on the same playing field and normalises my struggles. If everyone is the same, what I went through is less special. I know it's somewhat irrational, but it gets my back up every time I hear it. It's like she's denying my condition, and cuts very close to the bone.
She simply refuses to accept the statement "I struggle with this, because I have add". Accepting that alone is so encouraging. I don't want to make statements like "I can't do this, because of add" - that would be self defeating, but to her, these too distinctions are the same. Infuriating!
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spikeyxx
Member's not posted much yet
Posts: 30
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Post by spikeyxx on Jan 21, 2012 0:25:21 GMT
Had another blazing row with her today funnily enough. I tried to explain that I'm trying to deal with my ADD, not use it as an excuse for not getting things done, and she told me "She wishes I never got diagnosed, as it's the worst thing that's ever happened to me". She utterly doesn't understand that me fucking my life up resulted in me SEEKING help, not seeking help, then using it as an EXCUSE to fuck my life up more!!
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