Post by .... on May 24, 2010 3:36:32 GMT
My ex-husband is an idiot. He just turned 40 and appears to be having a mid-life crisis too, which helps After spending the first 2 yrs being a total arse. We had gotten to a point where he has been pretty decent with them. They have contact via internet, telephone, he sees them each week, and has been having them overnight twice per wk for the lst 6mnths. He's always been invited to parent's evenings, paediatrician's appointments, brithday parties, has been kept upto date with anything of relevance tho I try to limit contact to brief chats when he collects them unless anything needs his immediate attention.
Unfortunately, his current girlfriend is a childish, selfish, 20 yr old brat! I don't say it lightly. It isn't unqualified. And I don't make a habit of saying it to the people around me, in fact I spend huge quantities of time preventing people from undermining her authority in front of the children. Unfortunately she seems desperate to achieve hostililty between my Ex and I.
I've been achieving whole new levels of tolerance and patience! You'd all be so proud of me! When she took the kids skip-diving, and let my youngest go to the shop alone! I did put my foot down with the ex about looking after them properly, but didn't upset the gf and took her out to lunch and calmly explained that I didn't want to undermine her authority, and wanted to be able to support the way she wanted to run her household with my ex-husband, without interfering in the way they organised the children's discipline/diet/etc when they visit. But that in return I needed her to to respect the way that I wanted them brought up, and to try to avoid doing things that were incompatible with that.
No matter how calmly I respond to each hiccup, and no matter what amount of respect my family attempt to afford her, it appears she is still hell-bent on putting an end to any and all communication between I and my ex. In the past 10 days I have had occasion to ring him once to see if he'd be attending parents evening that night (his gf answered the mobile and said I couldn't talk to him anyhow), and I shouted 'Hi' & then 'Yep,bye' to him from the office when he came in through the outhouse to drop the kids overnight stuff back the week before.
This week however the gf in her wisdom has decided that he isn't to collect the kids from here anymore, and she will be collecting them. He's txt to say he won't veto her say so. I don't see how I can send the kids off to visit their dad if we have zero communication. And I can't send them with her anyhow. I'm very very tired with the whole hostility thing she has going on, she's no gd as a no-between because she's sulky and uncommunicative. The kids have been in tears over it all and have asked me to try and work something out so they can still see their dad. But I'm their mother more than I'm their friend. And I'm really struggling to find the inclination. I actually think they'd be better off out of it all. And I'm sick to death of it all for myself.
But I can't vent around friends or family. they'd all very much like to thump him and don't understand why I've tried to be tolerant up to this point. But watching your kids cry because they can't see daddy is a very lonely business.
Unfortunately, his current girlfriend is a childish, selfish, 20 yr old brat! I don't say it lightly. It isn't unqualified. And I don't make a habit of saying it to the people around me, in fact I spend huge quantities of time preventing people from undermining her authority in front of the children. Unfortunately she seems desperate to achieve hostililty between my Ex and I.
I've been achieving whole new levels of tolerance and patience! You'd all be so proud of me! When she took the kids skip-diving, and let my youngest go to the shop alone! I did put my foot down with the ex about looking after them properly, but didn't upset the gf and took her out to lunch and calmly explained that I didn't want to undermine her authority, and wanted to be able to support the way she wanted to run her household with my ex-husband, without interfering in the way they organised the children's discipline/diet/etc when they visit. But that in return I needed her to to respect the way that I wanted them brought up, and to try to avoid doing things that were incompatible with that.
No matter how calmly I respond to each hiccup, and no matter what amount of respect my family attempt to afford her, it appears she is still hell-bent on putting an end to any and all communication between I and my ex. In the past 10 days I have had occasion to ring him once to see if he'd be attending parents evening that night (his gf answered the mobile and said I couldn't talk to him anyhow), and I shouted 'Hi' & then 'Yep,bye' to him from the office when he came in through the outhouse to drop the kids overnight stuff back the week before.
This week however the gf in her wisdom has decided that he isn't to collect the kids from here anymore, and she will be collecting them. He's txt to say he won't veto her say so. I don't see how I can send the kids off to visit their dad if we have zero communication. And I can't send them with her anyhow. I'm very very tired with the whole hostility thing she has going on, she's no gd as a no-between because she's sulky and uncommunicative. The kids have been in tears over it all and have asked me to try and work something out so they can still see their dad. But I'm their mother more than I'm their friend. And I'm really struggling to find the inclination. I actually think they'd be better off out of it all. And I'm sick to death of it all for myself.
But I can't vent around friends or family. they'd all very much like to thump him and don't understand why I've tried to be tolerant up to this point. But watching your kids cry because they can't see daddy is a very lonely business.