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Post by andy12345 on Jun 2, 2010 15:29:01 GMT
So, who else feels that they have the assertiveness and toughness of a doormat and just totally apathetic effectively? (unless provoked into instinctive response of course......
Some of these symptoms would also fit into 1) "Autism spectrum" apparently and the publicised theory of 2) "Highly sensitive person" (another label at the end of the day)
1) Avoid tricky situations - ie avoid starting trouble, avoid work and family conflicts(I'm not getting involved!) Avoid asking bosses for a payrise (not sure if that's even possible these days anyway) Just not assertive when you should be. 2) A severe dislike of violence or aggression, even when necessary. 3) Better at dealing with a conflict in your head and perhaps easier to negotiate with emails, letters etc in your own time where you can analyse everything, critically, even if it disfavours yourself. 4) Losing out on something, just so its easier to exist apathetically 5) Relationship issues, or just totally avoiding them (like a hermit) and the nitty gritty of that 3 letter word....that causes problems all over the world lol
Damn, this just turned into symptoms of "humanicus patheticus" ludicrous innit? STill, I'll just roll over and give up now lol.
OF course, the advantage is that, we are remembered as effectively peace-loving people.......
Anyway I got bored of this......Any comments?
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Post by goosey on Jun 2, 2010 19:08:21 GMT
Wow....so I'm not the only one !! "Highly sensitive person" I thought I was just thinking too deeply ! Avoid tricky situations I hate these with a passion, my sister-in-law had a right go at me at Christmas.....there was so much I wanted to say AFTERWARDS....but at the time...I was like a 'whipped spaniel' ! I avoid confrontation by just walking away...don't know any other way of dealing with them. A severe dislike of violence or aggression, even when necessary Despite being a rozzer for 11 years - I really dislike violence and can't understand why people can do such nasty things to each other ! As for hurting animals or children....that's just sick Better at dealing with a conflict in your head, by email, letter etc I've learned to write really awesome letters and emails, I think it's because I can tweak it to pitch it at the perfect level. I usually get what I've asked after sending these !! If only we could 'pause' live situations to work out EXACTLY what we want to say...then click PLAY to say it ! Losing out on something, just so its easier to exist apatheticallyI hate scrummages....so would rather wait until everyone else has finished before I go for it. The times I've missed out on opportunities or the best bits.....this does drive me crazy !! Relationship issues, or just totally avoiding them (like a hermit)This is the one I'm most guilty of and currently avoiding....why can't I just be honest and say what I really want to say.... because I'm really fighting myself !! Anyone know how I can turn in to a tiger ?
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Post by dipsy on Jun 2, 2010 19:34:35 GMT
Thats me all over, tho I put myself into situations, like with door work where i can take a few digs and acualy enjoy them, it confusses people as i look meek and only 5'7, and watching them as they back off most of the time, but when not in work i am a doormat totaly
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Post by andy12345 on Jun 2, 2010 21:26:02 GMT
Goosey .....what can I say!
Dipsy..... IT is very interesting (read as "more input for me" lol....) that you can work both sides competently, well tough at the door (these days certainly calmness and rationality is essential) and when in doormat syndrome you are good at that as well.......which means you are essential passive until rubbed the wrong way grrrrrrrr.
It's just mad S%&$!
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Post by goosey on Jun 2, 2010 22:20:22 GMT
Hey Andy 12345 FROM NOW ON.....I REFUSE TO BE A BLOODY DOORMAT....I'M GONNA FIGHT BACK !! Go on......dare you to cross me ROOOOOOOAAAAAAAARRRRR - is that tiger enough !!
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Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Jun 3, 2010 16:08:00 GMT
oh yes how well did you desrcibe me
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Post by andy12345 on Jun 3, 2010 17:49:58 GMT
About as tigery as
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Post by goosey on Jun 3, 2010 19:21:23 GMT
Ha andy12345.....I laugh in face of your tiddly kitten meow !!
I respond with......
The bar is raised ;D
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Post by greyblanket on Jun 8, 2010 12:31:39 GMT
Andy
Have you invented walking doormat syndrome as a sort of hybrid adhd asd thing? Sorry, but I am a bit literal!
I have nearly all of these problems, and we have had some interesting discussions over the last few weeks, and I have been reflecting and thinking on it.
I had really been wondering about the autism thing, and the maudsleydoctor also pointed it out to me and asked me to fill in the forms (still on the floor in the bag). What he also pointed out - which I wasn't really consciously - aware of was my high levels of anxiety. Perhaps so high that I don;t recognise it as anxiety. A lot of this anxiety seems related to my relationships with other people, not even relationships, just general dealings and day to day interactions.
The more I have thought about this, the more I am coming down on the side of anxiety as a cause for these symptoms and I think I may have something like social anxiety disorder. I have not always had this, but there have been several periods in my life when I have had these symptoms.
Will be interesting to see what the maudsleydoctor says at my next visit. Don't know when that will be, though.
gb
1) Avoid tricky situations - ie avoid starting trouble, avoid work and family conflicts(I'm not getting involved!) Avoid asking bosses for a payrise (not sure if that's even possible these days anyway) Just not assertive when you should be. 2) A severe dislike of violence or aggression, even when necessary. 3) Better at dealing with a conflict in your head and perhaps easier to negotiate with emails, letters etc in your own time where you can analyse everything, critically, even if it disfavours yourself. 4) Losing out on something, just so its easier to exist apathetically 5) Relationship issues, or just totally avoiding them (like a hermit) and the nitty gritty of that 3 letter word....that causes problems all over the world lol
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Post by andy12345 on Jun 8, 2010 18:14:19 GMT
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T2gq5fwbk-Q&feature=player_embedded [/youtube]
Greyblanket, I suppose it is a hybrid, taking parts from each, but then if anyone can tell me where one cause of a set of symptoms and signs stops and cause starts, they would be congratulated.
All of the labels are simply an apparently apt name for a set of signs and symptoms.
So, anxiety is a label, but why are people anxious, especially where there is no cause like PTSD, for instance?
So, that's why I call it walking doormat syndrome and put the mix of symptoms......ARgh its all developable into bigger thoughts, but I've been thinking for too long!!!!!
Take a person who does not experience any trauma in life, but has social issues for instance.....Theoretically, they have no noticeable cause and they don't know either, but it does not change the fact. For some of those people, medication does work, so it is simply changing something somewhere in the body, most likely the brain (bit obvious that)
So, I always want to get to the cause of the set of problems, but it's never going to be that easy, is it. Neurodiversity is the name of the game and we are what we are, but sometimes drugZZ can help. In that case, is the condition simply a deficiency of something, ie dopamine is the classic for adhd, mood, and some other issues..
Labels, schmabels...
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Post by greyblanket on Jun 9, 2010 10:55:35 GMT
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T2gq5fwbk-Q&feature=player_embedded [/youtube] Greyblanket, I suppose it is a hybrid, taking parts from each, but then if anyone can tell me where one cause of a set of symptoms and signs stops and cause starts, they would be congratulated. Andy that is a dangerous thing to say to me, because I am now likely to spend several hours trying to work this out. But I will try to force myself to leave it for another day. I understand what you say about labels, but labels and classifications can be very useful so long as you remember that they are basically abstractions and not reality. I need to look for things that reduce my anxiety (or that which forces me to become withdrawn .... ) and to try to feel better. I have one big thing that I have been completely avoiding because of this anxiety, although I have been using other excuses to myself, but when I think of approaching it and sorting out the mess which has resulted from my avoidance I feel completely sick and just want to disappear and dissolve into nothing. This morning I have taken some steps to familiarise myself with the situation, and have arranged a telephone call which will happen any second now and in which I must explain myself, and why I haven't met my obligations and what I am going to do about it. What am I going to say? I think I have no option but to come clean, but I think it will sound to ridiculous to say, 'I am too frightened'. But I am going to do it anyway, and see what happens. I have run out of all feasible reasons, and I do not want to have to start inventing ridiculous excuses - that would not be a step forward. I have also arranged some coaching, I really can't afford it, but I cannot afford not to my life is in such a bad muddle. It starts next week or the week after. The other thing I have done is to cut out sugar, and I have gone something around 30 days, and I really think that helps somehow. I am not longer craving it, and generally feel a bit calmer and more able to eat proper food. The coach I spoke to said that people with ADHD have many allergies etc and suggested that wheat may also be a problem. I had already cut out refined wheat, but have now cut it out completely. The absence of sugar is definitely a bonus for me - it is so addictive. When I (and my doctor) get the report from the Maudsley, I'm hoping that other things can move on. I remember we both had our appointments on the same day - have you received yours yet? gb
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Post by andy12345 on Jun 9, 2010 11:05:15 GMT
My appointment was around the middle of may, I did not say what day.
I have my report and it suggest refer to ASD clinic, you should look at my post in general "PDD-NOS"
I'm really interested in finding out the cause of anxiety, but I'll leave it to the avid researchers.
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Post by greyblanket on Jun 9, 2010 18:03:08 GMT
Take a person who does not experience any trauma in life, but has social issues for instance.....Theoretically, they have no noticeable cause and they don't know either, but it does not change the fact. For some of those people, medication does work, so it is simply changing something somewhere in the body, most likely the brain (bit obvious that)So, I always want to get to the cause of the set of problems, but it's never going to be that easy, is it. Neurodiversity is the name of the game and we are what we are, but sometimes drugZZ can help
Treating the smptoms rather than finding the cause, and treating the symptoms and leaving the cause in place can create other difficulties. But even that is probably putting it too simply, not only is it a spectrum or continuum of neurodiversity, this neurodiversity is interacting with a big system with many other interacting parts. Hormones, genetics, neurotransmitters, environment, stuff that hasn't been identified yet. And medication works in a kind of a way by masking some of the symptoms.
In that case, is the condition simply a deficiency of something, ie dopamine is the classic for adhd, mood, and some other issues.. [/i]
Dopamine is highly implicated in ADHD and anxiety, I wonder what one can do to make more dopamine naturally. I'm not all that sure how neurotransmitters relate to these problems, is the neurotransmitter a substance that we need more of, or is it something to do with neurotransmitter receptors. I don't know.
Just thinking aloud really.
gb
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