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Post by mavster on Jul 27, 2010 19:13:02 GMT
Does anyone else notice that they are hopeless at paying bills and don't even open the letters for months untill everything is crazy . I don't even mean to do it I just put things to look at somewhere and then forget all about them . I am getting worried that the wife will go mad at me although it would be nice if she just took over the financial side of things . She is foreign and finds it really hard to understand things here. I need some kind of coach but can't afford one . I already owe the water board £1400. I get so worried and depressed that I just repest the same old thing I really hate myself at times
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Post by kakema on Jul 27, 2010 20:05:29 GMT
I think financial chaos is an indicator of ADD - I do know that until the banks started allowing you to pay cards by direct debit I was constantly missing payments - not because I was short, just because I forgot to pay. I'm not better at it now, I just use DD for everything - utilities, cards, any sort of bill. Which is good because they generally offer a better deal. Mind you, I sacked my cleaner and forgot to cancel the standing order to the agency, so they had to refund me a year and a half's money. So it can cut both ways. Hate opening post (boring) so I forgot to renew my car insurance last year and was actually driving around uninsured for a couple of weeks before I remembered. I have an action pile, and then forget to go through it. My daughter's passport application has been ready to go in the post for weeks and now we're getting close to it being too late! And so it goes on. Not sure what the answer is.....I wish I was rich enough to have one of those concierge services!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 17, 2010 9:44:44 GMT
I am terrible when it comes to paying bills. i always forget them and by the time i actually remember them i've already spent my money. i've actually lost count of the amount of money that i owe out.
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Post by sherry on Aug 17, 2010 18:35:08 GMT
I pay loads in charges, cause I am always buying things and forgeting about them until I go overdrawn. Santander are shit when it comes to getting any help or understanding. They told me to get someone more capable to handle my account, cheeky fools. I have everything going out as Direct Debit now, which means at least the bills are paid. I heard Barclays Bank have a good disability policy, so I went to see them. They are going to open two joint accounts for me. One that our wages will be paid into and the other for any money left over that we can spend. Really helpful.
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Post by mavster on Aug 17, 2010 18:54:04 GMT
That is good to know santander have milked me for thousands over the years . Still revenge is mine when I emigrate and geta massive loan of them first ;D
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Post by goosey on Aug 17, 2010 21:46:27 GMT
I am completely and utterly shocking with money and paying my bills ! I recon I've paid thousands of pounds in bank charges Can't stick to budgets and used to play the 'cashpoint' game ie if the cash is dispensed.....you win! I had most of my bills as DD.....until they cancelled some of them due to lack of funds....assholes. Student status means sweet FA to banks these days ! ....can't wait to tell them where to shove their account when I win the lottery !!!!!! ;D
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Post by dipsy on Aug 18, 2010 15:19:04 GMT
If it wern't for DD i'd probably be in jaill. 'Cashpoint game' like that, even if it is my overdraft.
I pay my car insurance in full by credit card, just incase things go wrong with the DDs as you said.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 6, 2010 21:36:42 GMT
What a frightening subject!
I've got a large overdraft, paying a loan for a car and bought a 2 bedroom run down bungalow on the intention that I would do it up and add a bedroom or 2 in the near future (my 2 kids are both sharing a rediculously small bedroom). Bungalow is now in even more need of maintenance and every job I've started on never gets finished (most jobs never get started). I could actually own the one house thats worth less than I paid for it!!!
Can't get a grip of the finances but thankfully my wife handles pretty much everything. I daren't ask her about the bank balance or even open a statement letter or bill because I sink in my own pool of despair. She is rubbish with money but much better than me. I don't want to think about the bank charges I must have paid. Been stung by credit cards so won't have another (so I have learned something!).
.....and I'm too tight to do the lottery, what chance have I got!
I'm off to find another subject on the forum to cheer me up....
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Lame44
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Post by Lame44 on Sept 8, 2010 0:17:11 GMT
I am trying to get the money to go bankrupt,I kid you not. I used to lie awake at night worrying over all the bills, and the naughty things I'd done with opening catalogues in other peoples names. When I mentioned the bills to my psychologist he just shrugged n said 'yea, people with ADHD are known to have financial problems, some dont even open the letters' which is me at times. I rip them up before even opening them and sling em in the bin.
I opened up about five catalogues after moving into my Dads for a while n coz he lived in the property for twenty odd years n was buying it the catalogues gave an instant thousand pound credit limit. I used my Dads first initial, but changed the name from John to Jo n obviously kept the same last name as Dads. I got very confused trying to remember which statement had to be paid when n it all got out of hand.
My Dad went to re-mortgage and pay a lump sum off what he owed for the house, but he couldn't because of all the bad credit which was on his credit file even though the first name I used was different to his. It goes to show that some credit agencies dont really care to look into things in more detail, but still, I felt so bad...I tried to pay everything I had onto the catalogues n Dad had to call up the credit agencies and the catalogues n they eventually put the bills over to me and cleared it off my Dads credit file.
I still havent paid the bills.....and although I did/do find it maskes me chuckle at times I know I shouldn't laugh really. My Mam and real Dad who I mention above have been apart since I was like two...so nearly thirty years really, and all my Mam could say is that I've got a bloody cheek to do things like that.
Tim (psychologist) says that us lot with ADHD dont tend to think of the consequences of our actions...which sums it all up really, but it's not how others see it is it? I mean, I kinda knew I could get into trouble by doing what I did with the catalogues if things got out of hand, but I didnt't know it could have stopped my Dad paying off a load of money on his house coz it just didn't even enter my head at all. Obviously if these things did enter my head I may have not done it, but like so many things I do or have done, I dont realise whats gone wrong until things do fall apart and are wide open for everyone to see.
I have water debts which I am paying off, n luckily my GF is around to remind me, and I'm kinda good now, I always pay my electric and gas, even though they rob me blind, and pay my TV too, I cant really forgot it coz it's due on a Monday n it could be 1pm on a Monday n they will text me n say I need to pay it...Jesus, they say to pay on a Monday, but if you havent paid early they text ya.....cheeky bastards, but it is good as it reminds me to do it, lol.
I pay my fones n internet etc etc too...which is hard on 300 quid a month, but I scrape by, and yes I still get the urge to open catalogues so I can have some nice clothes n stuff, and I am paying two off that I made up, but my GF is strict on me n keeps me in my place now, so I cant go mad ordering loads of things lmao.
One last thing is that when I'm really fed up, there is nothing like a good huge order of new gadgets and clothes, and I realise that now it's at those bad times or boring times that I am more likely to be wreckless with buying things n spending money on things I dont need too. Anyone else get like that?
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Post by kakema on Sept 8, 2010 6:15:29 GMT
Oh yes. The world laughingly calls it 'retail therapy' like it was a gently soothing sort of comfort thing - but I suspect that for people with high impulsivity it's just another of the problem urges that need to be controlled. I find it much harder to control the urge to buy things for my daughter than for myself and as a result she's a spoilt little madam. But I do have some v scary high-end stuff that I bought on a whim and look at now gathering dust and just sigh. If I hadn't become aware of the issue I'd have an iPad by now. I don't need an iPad and I can't afford one but when I see one I want to take it home straight away, especially if I am feeling a bit miz....me sad...iPad make better....gaaaah!!!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 8, 2010 17:24:35 GMT
Hi I go between being very good with money and very bad, I use my ADD to help me obsessivly control and monitor our household accounts, however there is nothing like promising to cut back to trigger a spending spree! Anyway one of my previos obsessions was reading a financial website ( i am so cool!) and if anyone really needs some help with there debts there are some very nice people who can help you through all the options including bankruptcy they are here: boards.fool.co.uk/dealing-with-debt-50079.aspx?mid=12003289good luck to all who need help
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Post by laura on Sept 9, 2010 22:03:16 GMT
im terrible with money, nearly everything is paid DD or standing order, the ones that arent i get late charges every month and its because i keep meaning to set the DD up but keep forgetting. im slowly paying off my debts (by standing order) but it seems never ending and my biggest debt is from bank charges! i cant remember what its like to see my bank in credit one day i will not live in my overdraft ive found the only way to stop impulse purchases is to not go into shops, but then theres always ebay!
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Post by boo on Sept 11, 2010 18:32:12 GMT
all my bills are on DD and they come out of a 'bills' only account which i transfer into once a month and have no debit card for, so whatever happens, they are always paid and on time. if i didnt do that, i dont even want to think about the alternatives of what might be, i cant imagine having to go back to when you had go go down town and pay your bills as they came in, or send a cheque or whatever
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 15, 2010 20:21:47 GMT
Laura I am exactly the same as you.
The only retail therapy I have is car boot sales. Great for not spending too much but terrible for the amount of clutter in my house! can't win can I?
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Post by Deleted on Sept 15, 2010 23:36:51 GMT
Hi all My ADHD son ran up loads of debts against and when we went to sort out our morgage we were told that there was debt against the property, we had to write to one of these credit reference companies in which to get our address cleared. When he moved into his own place the DWP were brill and helped set up payments direct from his benefits.
Anyone on benefits can ask the DWP to make payments direct from your benefits to services such as water, gas, electric etc etc before you receive your DWP payments. It's Detachments of Payments order. I'm sure the same can be done through employers as well.
Hope this helps. Honey xx
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Post by phil on Sept 17, 2010 13:22:29 GMT
Lol sherry you're funny as sure we ain't related lol I pay £50-100 in charges a month ;D At the start of the year I almost had my overdraft paid off ;D now I owe more out than that's coming in you don't think of important things like food gas and eletric when you're in the zone ;D
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Post by sherry on Sept 17, 2010 22:36:01 GMT
Yeah Phil, you are my long lost naughty little brother. We are defo on the same wave length lol. Update on the banks situation. Decided to go wiv TSB (yeah I know I said Barclays)?? Sadly, I didn't listen to the girl about the charges cause she was talking sooooo fast. Anyway it was gonna cost me a bloody fortune each month in fees and overdraft charges (mines at £1,700), so now I am trying to close the account lol. I went to Santander, filled in the forms for the two joint accounts one is done but fook knows whats happened to the other . I am still at risk from horrendous charges. Oh and I found out the other day they are withdrawing my 1,700 overdraft in February, wankers after all this!!!!! I hate banks, if I was a terrorist I would blow em all up (whilst they were closed of course, I wouldn't want to kill the poor cashiers who probably get shit money too)!!!
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Post by phil on Sept 18, 2010 10:23:46 GMT
I owe £800 on a dog too ;D. That bitch has pups my cash flow problems are over LMFAO won't be til next year ;D
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 5, 2010 14:16:24 GMT
I have a thoery on this one too.... im really good with numbers but no good with money and bills..in fact im a genious with numbers but im upto my eyeballs in debt. My brain just does't get it!!... The way ive explained it to people is that part of my brain is hyperactive hence its about 150yrs old and part of my brain is underactive hence it is imature. its like asking a ten year old to sort the bills out. Make Sense??
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Post by snickerz on Oct 5, 2010 15:04:31 GMT
total sense andy would say its financial immaturity
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Post by mizmog on Oct 5, 2010 15:07:38 GMT
This is so me... I could cope all the while I was single with the kids and only had things going on dd. No credit card or credit... I had no money but everything was paid... then i met my husband and got married suddenly everyone wanted to give me credit! I have run up credit cards, loans and catalogues... I admit now that I took control of all the finances from my husband so he didn't see how bad things were and like u, I tucked envelopes under things to 'look at them later' and lay awake at night thinking about them... I nearly landed hubby in a whole load of trouble by ignoring his debts i was supposed to be paying... I finally fessed up to him a few wks ago and sat down with him to go through it all and he was so wonderful and took charge of it all for me... I still hv the main account, and catalogues but as long as i am honest with him and he knows what's going on he is fine with it... I don't think i had slept so much as i did after i had told him!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 9, 2010 23:00:27 GMT
Bank phoned today to tell me we've just gone over the 5 grand overdraft and we are a few pence short of the 1 grand overdraft in our backup account. Turns out the missus had been using the back up account to try and keep us afloat but hadn't told me in case I got upset . I reckon there is enough money coming in to sort our money problems (eventually) but just can't pull things together. Keep burying my head in the sand. Didn't realise the wife was doing the same. Wouldn't be too bad if we lived elaborate lifestyles or had anything to show for it, but we don't. Really don't want to know about the bank charges. If I can get myself in gear I will have to look at re-mortgaging or something (already got a loan). Beans on toast for the next 5 years
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Post by snickerz on Oct 10, 2010 9:48:50 GMT
giddy have you rang the conusmer credit service they are very good
how i got out of debt two years ago was to declare myself bankrupt it only cost me 100 quid and was able to do it under the lila scheme in scotland. Told my therapist about it last week i said to her it was to easy and could see why there would be poeple that would do it every few years
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Post by phil on Oct 12, 2010 1:40:46 GMT
i put it down to impulsiveness gotta have additude and fuck tomorrow until ya back on solid ground and it is tomorrow! and think why the fuck did i buy that?
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 17, 2010 2:56:13 GMT
I found a solution to my terrible bill paying. I first cancelled all Direct Debits, as the money was never there, I just spent without worrying about covering bills so when I was getting £100s I decided to sort it out.
I bought a cheap wall calander for the kitchen wall. I filled in the day due of every bill (and apointments) I make sure I got in habit of checking calander every morning, now I never miss an appointment or bill payment (I pay in cash at paypoint around corner shop) Now the scummy bank dosen't get my money for free. I can see well ahead when money is due and make allowances for it. To be honest I am surprised this works, but I have been doing this for 5 years without a hitch, the key is checking it every morning and crossing out previous days entery.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 17, 2010 15:26:09 GMT
Thats a good idea.xx
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barney
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Post by barney on Oct 27, 2010 8:36:47 GMT
Well it's good to hear that I'm not the only one to never open letters. I haven't looked at my bank statement for months, I have no idea how much money I have, or more importantly, don't have. I have expenses outstanding with work of over £1000, some going back 18 months, all because I haven't sent the receipts in. I get into trouble with my childminder because I forget, or simply don't do when reminded, to transfer funds into her account. It's not that the money's not there, it's the invisible wall that ADD puts up that stops me.
Fortunately, bills seem to be okay, everything is paid by DD, though I only renewed my car insurance at the very last minute because my wife reminded me. I used to pay the childminder on a monthly standing order, but she couldn't cope with the maths and want to invoice me monthly instead which is my worst nightmare. I'm going to suggest paying her a big lump sum up front (the money's already there, taken from my pay in childcare vouchers) so she can then just send me a statement once a month and when I need to top the lump sum up, it won't be such an ordeal.
I really should pass the finances over to my wife, but I can't stand the thought of loss of control, or her seeing what a mess they've been in in the past, or where the money's gone!
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Post by kakema on Oct 27, 2010 19:08:21 GMT
Snap!
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