Lame44
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Post by Lame44 on Apr 2, 2011 17:13:30 GMT
I've never really spoke about this much I dont think but I've just mentioned it in a message to someone and wondered if anyone else had this major fear about dying or what comes after you die?
I used to beg and plead my Sister for her to let me sleep on the floor in her room as a kid because I was so scared of dying. I couldn't stop thinking about it and still often do and it makes me feel sick at times with worry.
I cant help it and it does drive me mad. I mean, I know most people do go through a stage of it but I dont think I know anyone who still has such a massive fear inside them. Most people seem to get over it and carry on but I cant.
Does anyone here fear death or what comes after it as much as me? Is it an ADHD thing even? I doubt it, but I do wonder and also wonder if there is anyone worth talking to about it because you can bet if I feel the slightest bit of pain at night I can hardly sleep for thinking something bad is going to happen to me and I'm going to cark it! Sad I know but it petrifies me so much.
Any advice etc is very welcome.
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Post by kakema on Apr 2, 2011 19:18:29 GMT
I think that irrational worries are part of ADHD, but they won't always manifest the way yours have.
It's the sort of problem that can be helped quite well through CBT - your psych sounds pretty supportive, so maybe ask him for some help on this? Not good to live life in fear of anything....
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Post by boo on Apr 2, 2011 21:55:14 GMT
ryan i think irrational and 'looping' thoughts are definitely common among adhders, but my personal opinion is that it probably sits more under ocd, now how much overlap their is between the 2 i really dont know, and by that i mean, some adhders may not get quite so 'stuck' in their negative thought patterns, so maybe that is a co-morbid (ocd) as opposed to an inherant part of the adhd, do you know what i mean there, i really do know what i am trying to say, not sure i am necessarily explaining myself too well though..... ho hum, now theres a first ... not...... i did notice that some of my anxieties did seem to lessen with meds though, i dont get quite so stuck in my thoughts, i mean i still do, but definitely less anxiety attached to the whole thinking process.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 6, 2011 9:41:03 GMT
When I was a kid (under 11), if anyone mentioned the word cancer or nuclear war it used to freak me out as both words to me meant 'death'. When the Falklands War started, I was petrified that the Argentines would come over and bomb us (me equating war with the 2nd world war) and when AIDS was first in the media, again, I was petrified that I would get it as I didn't know how it was passed on but just knew people died of it. Don't laugh but after watching Invasion of the Body Snatchers as a 6 year old, I would look at the back of people's necks to make sure they hadn't been turned into an alien! I suspect it all had something to do with certain brain chemicals being low and the thoughts getting 'stuck'. As an adult, it often seems that death would actually be a release from the daily struggles of life. I know a fab Medium in Wednesfield who has proved to me beyond a shadow of a doubt that there is life after death and I find that comforting. I've also got a great book called 'The Tibetan Art of Living and Dying'; the basis of which is that death is very much a part of life and no matter how much we fight against it, as sure as eggs are eggs, if we are born we will one day die. Soz, that's probably not much help really. I think for me it has mainly been the fear of the unknown in the past that has haunted me.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 6, 2011 9:42:20 GMT
PS My nephew who has ADHD is already petrified of dying and he is only 7 or 8; he is a bit of a 'hypochondriac' too.
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Post by Ravendarque on Apr 6, 2011 9:51:15 GMT
Yeah, I get really down if I think about dying, but nothing like what you describe. Normally irrational fears (i.e. far beyond what is reasonable) are classified as phobias, but since we're all going die, it's a bit different. Is this part of a wider anxiety problem, or exclusively dying? Anxiety is treatable so worth talking to your doc.
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Post by phil on Apr 6, 2011 9:51:03 GMT
disorganised ivasion of the body snachers got me rushed into hospital as my elder siblings thought it would be a good idea to let me watch it i don't think i was even 6 then ;D the film that used to scare the shit out of me when i was a kid was Evil Dead the films look proper jank now and dr who is probally more scary but at the time i used to fucking run and jump into my bed incase that fucking thing that was down the celler was under my bed lol
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 6, 2011 9:58:54 GMT
OMG! What is it with older people thinking it's a good idea to let kids watch scary movies? LOL! Have you seen 'The Orphanage'? I went to the cinema a few years ago to watch it and I was so entranced that when one scene was on which frightened the 5hit out of me, I literally screamed, jumped out my seat and spillt popcorn everywhere! I frightened everyone else in the cinema Funny how films from yonder year look naff now but were so 'real' when we were kids. I used to think Planet of the Apes was real and would sit as close as I could to the screen to get a better look
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 19, 2011 21:01:15 GMT
My dad and brother both have (undiagnosed) ADHD (but I KNOW they have it) and they both are obsessed with worrying about dying. My brother has a particular phobia about cancer and he can get into major depressive panics about it about three times a year (I think he also has bi polar disorder)
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 19, 2011 21:08:08 GMT
I used to be quite scared of dying but I've experienced death a lot more now I'm older and it doesn't hold the same power over me as it used to. I still find the human response to death kind of interesting tho, I.e. The emotional attachment or detachment to the deceased. All it a bit morbid tho, we should be out enjoying the sunshine (well not now obvs, as it's dark!)
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Post by snickerz on Apr 19, 2011 22:57:28 GMT
ive had this feeling i will never get proper old and have this thing at the moment i wont see 40
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Post by kakema on Apr 19, 2011 23:16:06 GMT
Most people have complicated feelings about death, I think - they just don't get them out and look at them too often.
I know that as I now approach the age my father was when he died, I have a bit of a sense of borrowed time. I also know that working in life insurance means I spend a lot more time than most thinking about how fragile life is. If I allowed these thoughts to preoccupy me, it could easily get out of hand.
Lots of things can trigger morbid thoughts, and ADHDers are most excellent worriers. Worry needs to be managed firmly. Not much we can do about our own mortality, in the end, is there, apart from try to live healthy, enjoy ourselves, and not leave with too many regrets?
So why worry? Be happy.
Doooo do do do do, do da do di do di doooo....
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Post by phil on Apr 20, 2011 0:06:35 GMT
snickers i've always said i would never hit 40 ;D i'm 35 now lol but i'm not scared of dying i will just get a well deserved rest! ryan at the end of the day belief systems cause fear if you are fearing what happens after you die then you have been programed this way! from a early age it has been drilled in you're sub consious mind that when you die you will either go to heaven or hell!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 20, 2011 6:04:51 GMT
Apparently worrying stimulates the mind. ADHDers need stimulation, hence we worry
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Post by dizzydumpling on Apr 20, 2011 14:21:38 GMT
I think this is probably quite common. I've always been like it (there was 2 years when I was a kid when I had to say "please" to god 400 times every night for him to keep me and my family alive in the night - and I wasn't even from a particularly religious background!). Also I have 2 friends with similar worries - both in their late 30s. One was convinced he was going to die by a certain date, and the other panics all the time that she has heart disease since her dad died from a heart attack. I'm also the same & probably have a reputation as a hypochondriac with my GP surgery! My mum died from skin cancer, and at first I was obsessed with my moles, demanding to have them removed right, left & center, and now Ijust imagine cancer wherever I have any kind of unexplained pain or, mark or lump etc! For me it definately seems to be linked with OCD as I feel like I have to worry about it a certain amount if I have any symptoms or else... (I suppose a bit like preparing myself for the worst), but I wonder if it's also related to depression? I think like oooshiny said, CBT might well be the way to go if it's interfering with your life. The thing is, I worked on my fear of dying, and can honestly say that I'm not that scared of what comes after any more - but this has been replaced by a terror of what might happen to my son if I'm no longer around - and what if his dad dies too etc etc....which leads me to wonder if we'll always just find some new way of worrying even if we rationalise out the old worries. Sorry, that's not a very cheery thought - and it's not all bad - I think about these things a lot less than I used to - I think that not having time to stop & think probably helps!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 20, 2011 22:23:03 GMT
Ryan - very much with you on this one. No particular disease I am worried about or anything but utterly terrified of the thought - very dark. Been there since I was a kid too and realised our own mortality (aged about 7 - I remember the actual moment itself). It's a real struggle to even consider and then just makes me want to rush towards it. Thought it may be an ADHD thing too but judging by the above replies, it doesn't appear so.
I know it's not funny but I have to lighten at least myself up - the horror, the horror!
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