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Post by Deleted on Apr 23, 2011 0:29:40 GMT
i'm sure other people on here can relate to this, but i'm in a mood where i need reassurance it's not just me.
other peoples days just seem to be a succession of tasks. 'tomorrow i'm going to do so and so and then after that i'm going to do this, this and this and then later on i'm going to do this'
my days don't go like that though? even if i've planned for things to do the following days i often don't follow them. i just go through life not really accomplishing anything or doing much at all to be honest. i spend a lot of it here on the internet or just wandering about. i spend my life just wandering it seems.
i don't have many friends and i get to dislike the question 'how was your weekend' because i usually don't have some fun filled itinerary like the next person. i'm fine with my life, it's other people that aren't.
i'm not in the best mood so guess that's why i'm thinking about this. probably sparked off by my little brother showing me his 21 page, 15 and a half thousand word story. and he's only 14.
do any of you go through your days not really 'accomplishing' anything and just spending it on the internet or other inane things?
i have a job but i mean when i'm not at work.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 23, 2011 4:28:31 GMT
In a word 'yes'.
You're definitely not alone cookiemonster so be reassured.
Over time, and it's early days for me, you'll learn new strategies to deal with the 'you' and this will help you stop comparing yourself against the NT crowd. Us ADDers are great at convincing ourselves we are rubbish but this is wrong. We just haven't got to grips with our full potential. Take a look at Goosey's recent thread for an example of mind over matter.
I forget, are you dx? On meds?
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Post by boo on Apr 23, 2011 8:33:06 GMT
in the same word 'yes'.... cookie, you just described me perfectly. CPs right about comparing ourselves to the NT's and convincing ourselves we are rubbish, this is a big corner to turn and takes alot of undoing to try and get ourselves to a point where we can see what we do do well, and not what we dont do the same as others i bet there is loads that you achieve or do or say or 'be' that you take absolutely no notice of, cos its 'just' you and you just dont think twice about it .... dont be too hard on yourself... cos remember we're definitely bloody good at that one............
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Post by phil on Apr 23, 2011 9:49:15 GMT
in the same words "yes" you have i job i don't if i had a reason to get out of the house everyday maybe my house would not be in such a state i would be more organised. don't be saying now there is no reason why i can't get a job believe me there are loads of hurdles getting a job is hard enough in the economic climate. i have no qualifications! that hapmers getting a job in the first place. but the untreated ADHD is like a kick in the balls for keeping the job impulsivity, and inattention are my biggest pitfalls but there is nothing stopping me setting up my own business only the fact that the possiblity of getting a bank loan with my record is nil but i'm optimistic of getting something sorted out with the help of my friends ;D i do need to sort my house out first i'm not happy with the decore and it is unorganised and a general mess like i am but things are going to change ;D
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Post by Deleted on Apr 23, 2011 13:14:10 GMT
thanks guys <3
and carnelian panther i'm not diagnosed or on meds.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 23, 2011 13:17:10 GMT
Are you in the 'system' at all?
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Post by Deleted on Apr 23, 2011 13:22:21 GMT
yeh, i saw a psychiatrist last month who's sent me for psychotherapy still haven't sent back the questionnaire (that's nothing to do with ADD) back. really don't want or need therapy. maybe gonna see how the first session goes and then think about going private. i'm gonna put on the questionnaire when i finally get around to doing it that i want to see an ADHD specialist on the 'what do you hope to get out of treatment' question.
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Post by seahorse on Apr 23, 2011 13:49:20 GMT
do any of you go through your days not really 'accomplishing' anything and just spending it on the internet or other inane things? Absolutely yes! I seem to do so much but achieve so little! I find it helps to list every little thing that I've done, for example the house may still look a mess after a day of "tidying", but if I write down that I organised some books, and gathered the dirty dishes, and rearranged a shelf, and so on, it looks more like an achievement. I also plan a single activity for the evening and spend all day telling myself that I'm going to do that task later - eg on wednesdays I tell myself that tonight is swimming night, other nights I might tell myself I'm going to make a risotto, etc. None of these things are compulsory so I am liable to procrastinate if I don't insist to myself that I will do them.
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kreate
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Post by kreate on Apr 23, 2011 16:03:56 GMT
Oh yes! Usually things that require concentration. Also unfinished books i have half read, paintings i havnt started or finished. Excercise paperwork etc...
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Post by Deleted on Apr 24, 2011 15:41:48 GMT
The same here. I am now on meds and try to get my back side a bit more up, but its a long process of learning.. By the end I have been living like this for 33 years (me just for example) and this will not go and change over a matter of a couple of days. Friends think I have achieved a lot during my life. I moved abroad, i got a job, I made my driving license, I am studying now (all this in a 2. language). But I cant see it. I can not agree with them to see it a something great what I have achieved so far. It is weired.. Somedays it does my head in, thinking what I have done and still thinking of me as a loser.. But we work on it.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 24, 2011 19:46:24 GMT
Hi cookiemonster- I've not been on for a while so I've just seen your thread today. Your comments yesterday are me to a T and I hate it. I do understand what you are going through but hopefully you will get the help you need. I am now retired, my son was diagnosed 10 years ago and I have just been. I have just started Strattera but disappointed so far as nothing seems different but i live in hope ..... My life has been chaotic and although I have held down 2 jobs over the last 20 years working full time in the City and I brought up 3 sons on my own I do feel a complete failure as I feel so frustrated that I was never able to reach my potential. My father said when I was young, "you have the brain to go to University but you don't have the staying power". Now, doesn't that make sense when you are told you have ADHD. Of course, over most of my life ADHD never existed - I was naughty, lazy, rude, etc, etc, but since my son was diagnosed I believed that I too had it. Good to know that I was right. Now I have to work hard to try and get the rest of my life in order. Let's hope the Strattera kicks in soon
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Post by Deleted on Apr 25, 2011 12:37:39 GMT
It's only a month since I finally started to get answers as to why I've had such a tough time of things throughout my haphazard life. It's been particularly moving for me to read this thread in particular. Thank you to all concerned.
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Post by Mouse on Apr 25, 2011 15:11:38 GMT
Yep. Another four days of feeling nothing very much achieved. Damn Damn Damn!
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Post by kakema on Apr 25, 2011 15:18:22 GMT
Yep. Another four days of feeling nothing very much achieved. Damn Damn Damn! ...and yet, still something? Not 'nothing at all'. Let's go for Goosey's positivity vibe and focus on things achieved! I put away about 20% of my floordrobe this morning - it's a start!
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Post by Deleted on Apr 25, 2011 16:06:25 GMT
i'm so glad i made this thread =]
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Post by boo on Apr 25, 2011 16:48:44 GMT
me too, and sticking with the positive vibe, i just finished my floordrobe ;D
admittedly, some has been sorted into an unsorted pile and put on a shelf in my actual wardrobe, but its off my floor. AND i have been ruthless too and got a black bag full of stuff to recycle... (again lol)
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Post by seahorse on Apr 25, 2011 21:54:21 GMT
Yay! Well done floordrobe-busters!
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Post by goosey on Apr 25, 2011 23:20:30 GMT
Hey well done boo,
We're spreading the positive-vibe lurve !!! ;D
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Post by ChaosLily on Apr 26, 2011 14:12:48 GMT
Floordrobe - love it!!
Yes yes and more yes to the original post. This is one of the reasons I disappear for a while - too bloody embarrassed to admit that no I haven't achieved anything or done anything, no I didn't do whatever it was I supposed to and no, I still haven't got my car taxed because I can''t find any paperwork for it in this dump I call home. I did however achieve extra debt through non payment of a bill. Sorry - having a bad day, I'd best shoot over to look at this Goosey thread...
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Post by Atticus on Apr 26, 2011 16:57:27 GMT
Ditto.
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Post by andy12345 on May 2, 2011 21:03:38 GMT
Floordrobe!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Post by laura on May 3, 2011 8:33:01 GMT
yep im like this too its made me feel better reading this thread and i also dissapear for a while thinking if i dont come on here ill get so much more done, but i dont. i did manage to do my floordrobe a couple of weeks ago but its creeping back now, it was amazing though i found things i forgot i had ive now been diagnosed and taking meds for a year and still have a long way to go but im better than i was, its just hard to remember that most days but i suppose living like this for 25years its going to take a while to change. i am now going to start my easter holiday homework which i swore i was going to start 2 weeks ago
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Post by Deleted on May 3, 2011 22:38:11 GMT
i got a letter from the NHS about me not doing their questionnaire they sent me. at the end it says if i don't send it back by monday they'll assume i don't want psychotherapy. which is true, i don't want psychotherapy i want to be sent to a specialist!
i felt like putting "doesn't this prove my point fools" when i read it.
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Post by boo on May 4, 2011 6:48:10 GMT
cookie, what are you gonna do? are you going to send the form back anyway, to keep you 'in the system'?
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Post by boo on May 4, 2011 6:49:06 GMT
laura, hope you got your homework done lily, did you get your car taxed? i rememered mine JIT, thank heavens for online taxing , is all i can say
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Post by Deleted on May 4, 2011 18:39:05 GMT
cookie, what are you gonna do? are you going to send the form back anyway, to keep you 'in the system'? yeh i am gonna send it back and just see how it goes
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Post by boo on May 4, 2011 18:43:19 GMT
good luck
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Post by Deleted on May 4, 2011 18:54:33 GMT
thanks! =]
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wb237
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Post by wb237 on May 4, 2011 21:48:37 GMT
I know exactly what you mean...and to be honest it can be crippling sometimes - in that I feel like everyone else is accomplishing things and managing life...I can't even maintain friendships because I never reply to texts, emails and so forth. I have a to-do list which has items on it which have been there for literally months. I am doing a MSc at Oxford and have a 1st Class degree from Cambridge (which I did at the age of 31 because I left school early as I was fed up with being labelled a clown etc) but I still feel like life is just out there - beyond my grasp. I find that most of the day my mind is literally singing songs in my head and I am detached...certainly not directing my own life, more like a bystander. Sorry if this is a bit depressing, I guess I haven't really spoken about it before and it really eats me up.
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Post by andy12345 on May 5, 2011 12:28:09 GMT
Sounds familiar.
At least you have degree, I got zilch from school and barely nothing from 1 year at a school/college thing ( up to 17 years old)
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