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Post by Deleted on Jun 19, 2011 16:38:45 GMT
I'm just about ready to explode at the moment Not one single person in my 'real' life is able to have a discussion about my adhd and it's driving me crazy!! I can't even mention it. I attempted to discuss it with my mum for what felt like the millionth time, and she said the same thing she always does; 'there was nothing wrong with you as a child'! FFS!! Yes there f***ing was! But noone was f***ing interested! AAAARRGGGGGHHHH. I tried to explain why I'd had problems with my mental health in the past - I attribute this to my adhd being undiagnosed - but did she want to hear it? NO. She thinks I'm depressed because I enjoy spending time alone so much, while she needs to be around people constantly. Never mind that antidepressants had zero effect on me when I took them (apart from some awful side effects) and the fact that dex has had such a dramatic effect. My dad and a few others just looks extremely awkward when I bring it up. Everyone else just offers their unwelcome opinion about the 'existence' of adhd in general, and more specifically about me having it at all. The only person I can talk to is my psych and I only see him every 6 weeks or so at the moment. I've actually got to the point where I look forward to seeing him because he's the only person I can discuss my adhd with Rant over.
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Post by phil on Jun 19, 2011 17:16:50 GMT
You can talk about it here! My old gurl is a pain in the arse too as I'm not diagnosed but I know I got she won't accepted this she just comes with bollocks doctors came out with years ago she won't accept my two children diagnosed with ADHD have ADHD either! Lol
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Post by mizmog on Jun 19, 2011 19:25:18 GMT
Hi Dizzy... according to my parents (and the rest of the family) It doesn't exist! my friends that know now, wont talk about it - when i attempt to talk about it, they just go quiet
I was going to post on your other thread earlier but i got distracted lol - I hv been in my job for 3 months now and hv very similar office environment/situation to you - I did try and tell one of the girls last week about it when I was well and truely in ADHD mode (even on concerta) but the response I got was that I was using it as an excuse -
It confirmed that ppl just dont want to know! - I am contemplating telling my line Manager tomorrow - not sure she will a) understand, b) give a damn or c) not sack me ... but I am at bursting point... its not about them giving special treatment, but about them cutting you the slack to rant/walk/explode/hide when u need too - which lets be honest, if u were given the freedom to cope how you know u can, it probably wouldn't happen very often anyway!
I completely get your point about just wanting to talk to someone and sometimes a friendly ear is what you need but alas I am pretty convinced now since diagnoses, that actually unless u hv a visible disability, ppl just dont believe (or understand) it!
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Post by andy12345 on Jun 19, 2011 20:41:33 GMT
Why would they be able to understand something that they may have to a certain level and have therefore adapated to it?
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Post by Deleted on Jun 19, 2011 21:37:24 GMT
I find it hard really annoyingand dull having to keep explaining theres more to ADHD than 'hyperactivity' its pointless.
My daughter has a very 'obvious' ADHD whereas my ADD was the 'silent but deadly type' in my childhood lol, the timebomb adhd i like to call it...
Anyway forget what they all think, we've got to live with the symptoms and treat them as best we can. Some families are pure hard work, my mother thinks people with mental illnesses have, 'weak character's' seriously!!!!! grrr
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Post by goosey on Jun 19, 2011 21:56:20 GMT
I think my patents accept it as it helps them understand my hyper-active behaviour as a child. They couldn't cope with my tantrums and general naughtiness. My twin sister accepts it as does my hubby. Not sure about my brothers as I haven't spoken to them directly. My hubby has been great, he laughs with me and supports me. But I realise I'm very lucky to have his total support. I had psychotherapy for quite a long time and I found thar it really helped 'off-load' stuff that was going round and round in my head. It might be worth asking if you could see someone for 'talking therapy'. Meds can only do so much, worth asking anyway
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Post by phil on Jun 19, 2011 22:06:29 GMT
Hey goosey is you're twin sister identical? ;D Doctors love twin studies lol
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Post by goosey on Jun 20, 2011 6:10:33 GMT
Hey phil, no we're not identical, we are quite alike....however I'm the more attractive and brainy one !! ;D ;D
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Post by Deleted on Jun 20, 2011 18:48:19 GMT
Thanks for the supportive replies. My ex also has adhd and his mum was so incredibly nice and supportive about his adult diagnosis that it kind of set the bar for me. Although my family were never that supportive before, so i don't know why I thought this might be different. Half my family have adhd, but I'm the only one with the inattentive type - the rest are hyperactive or combined, so they are the worst for thinking I'm making excuses because I don't have to cope with being impulsive and I've never had behavioural problems. I got labelled the 'clever but lazy' one My ex was very supportive, but unfortunately that relationship didn't work out for me, ending a few weeks ago, and he didn't want to stay friends I thought about having some therapy. It didn't help when I had it before, but I didn't understand what was wrong back then, so maybe it would help now. Unfortunately I went private for my diagnosis, and I don't think I could afford talking therapy, as I'm barely covering the costs of reviews and prescriptions at the moment.
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Post by twix on Jun 20, 2011 20:24:48 GMT
Maybe you can get an NHS referral for counselling?
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Post by kakema on Jun 20, 2011 21:03:07 GMT
Do you work, ditzy? Many firms offer free staff counselling schemes. And the issue you want to discuss doesn't have to be work-related. If you're feeling particularly low after the breakup, you might find it helpful to have a few sessions, just to get yourself back on track.
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Post by dizzydumpling on Jun 20, 2011 22:03:10 GMT
Hi ditzy, I'm undiagnosed and so when I talk to my friends/partner about it, it's often in relation to how frustrating the whole assessment (or waiting for assessment) process is, and worries relating to that, or what a relief it is to know there's others like me out there and it it's not all my fault! However, I've still learned not to mention it too often, as they either change the subject or develop a facial expression/tone of voice that would be more appropriate if I was trying to tell the that the tooth fairy had visited me last night or santa didn't bring me the pressies I wanted this year. Like you, I find sounding off to a counsellor helpful, but sessions are short and few & far between! I think I'm just beginning to accept now that most people, no matter how close to me or well-meaning they may be, are more likely to start believing in fairies (in fact some of them do!) than in the existence of ADHD. HEAD.....BRICK WALL......BASH!!!!!!! I'm not even sure that it's worth the bother - I'm just going back to the old "silly me, I'm soooo scatty" approach now. They seem to find that more endearing than an actual medical condition! Nothing helpful here I'm afraid - just a dollop of mutual understanding Thank heavens for this forum eh!
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Post by phil on Jun 21, 2011 0:56:31 GMT
Andy, hit on a good point they may not want to hear about it due to possibly passing the thing on to us in the first place
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Post by Deleted on Jun 21, 2011 17:43:18 GMT
I don't actually feel like I need therapy - it would just be nice to kinda offload everything I'm thinking and feeling about my adhd! I would feel a bit guilty using up NHS resources when there are so many people needing them much more - I waited 6 months for counselling when I had it and I was quite unwell at the time. A lot of what I want to share is actually really positive stuff - mostly little things I'm managing much better now. I work for a voluntary organisation with next to no resources, so there's nothing available through them. I'm not feeling low about my break up at all!! I ended it for various reasons, going way back that were unrelated to my adhd. I felt we had become friends and so staying friends felt like a natural progression for me, but he didn't see it that way. I don't even mention it that often - maybe once a week - that's the frustrating part. I barely mentioned it before going to get assessed either, as i knew I wouldn't get any support. Good point about passing it on to me! The thing is that everyone else who has it in my family has either made a complete mess of their life and therefore have not adapted, or their partner basically takes care of everything and yet I'm expected to cope with it all on my own
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Post by kakema on Jun 21, 2011 18:09:49 GMT
Blimey,if you've got positive stuff to offload, do it here! It'd be a great counterbalance to the rest of us moany blighters!! ;D
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Post by boo on Jun 22, 2011 19:07:28 GMT
i dont really talk to real people about my dx either, just here mainly, to you bunch of make believe people ;D
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Post by andy12345 on Jun 22, 2011 19:13:10 GMT
All I want to do is upload my mind, without the annoying bits, to the internet. Then I would be more authentic.
Unfocused and unforged!
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Post by Deleted on Jun 22, 2011 20:27:29 GMT
LOL
Perhaps it's just exciting inside my head but in reality I'm very dull, and that's why noone wants to listen!
Back to the dreamworld where I'm fabulous ;D
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Post by andy12345 on Jun 22, 2011 21:19:51 GMT
whatyousay?
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Post by Deleted on Jun 25, 2011 17:28:55 GMT
I said I'm fabul.............never mind Had a breakthrough today!! My mum asked about my job/career plans etc and I decided to tell her that now I know why I used to struggle so much with work and study, and function much better on my meds, I am going to apply for the doctorate I always wanted to do (try not to laugh). I always knew deep down I wouldn't cope with it, but feel differently now.............. My mum actually agreed with me!! She said she could never work out why I used to take so long to do my homework as a child, or why uni was so difficult! She thinks that adhd makes sense and I'm much happier now I'm on meds. She said I'm much less moody!
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Post by boo on Jun 25, 2011 18:26:47 GMT
thats really good ditzy...... and good luck with the doctorate
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Post by andy12345 on Jun 25, 2011 19:32:03 GMT
you should really go for a wiki masters'
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kreate
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Post by kreate on Jun 27, 2011 19:30:52 GMT
Hey there ditzynerd, I feel your pain! I too felt isolated, is there a support group near you or is that a silly question? I live in Brighton and was travelling to London for support, until i plucked up the courage to set my own group up, its looking a success, so I encourage anyone out there with no support to set there own group up, it has really improved my confidence and now I believe society needs to change not me lol, glad you found this forum, its truely great! I was considering joining an Autistic or Aspergers group until I went to the ADHD support group in Central London, but I still think this is worth anyone considering, I work with Autistic Adults and feel more a kinship with them than other so called socially functioning people. Keep chatting on here. Take it easy.
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Post by mindthegap on Jun 28, 2011 20:01:53 GMT
i dont really talk to real people about my dx either, just here mainly, to you bunch of make believe people ;D Ha, love it! ditzynerd, so glad you've had the parent breakthrough. I still feel a bit uncomfortable bringing it up with mine, though they've been ace since I told them I suspected I was ADD. My lovely mum, who I think is where I get it from, has taken an interest. If she sees articles in the paper or programmes she tells me about them, though she can never quite remember what its called...'that DAA thingy', bless. As for others...only the ex-boyfriend, as on the whole he's a kind soul. But I got the sympathy side-head/puzzlement eyes off him, followed up with a, 'but we all get a bit disorganised sometimes', speech. I just got my diagnosis yesterday and I have a feeling that I want to tell him...I can't really articulate fully why, I don't want to get back together, I don't need his understanding and i don't feel I need to apologise or explain my behaviour during our relationship. Maybe it's just because I'm so happy I have the diagnosis....I want to share it. You make believe people might just be what I'm looking for! All the very best with the doctorate...will it be about ADD? You'd get to talk about it then....and people would have to listen to you!
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Post by Deleted on Jun 30, 2011 18:32:23 GMT
I live in croydon - I could go to the Central London group, but it would be difficult getting there after work with the hours I do. I'm racking up loads of TOIL though, so I hope to use this to leave work early to go to the next meeting, and my psych appointments, which are quite far away from work (haven't told anyone at work - still debating whether I should). Mindthegap - I have a similar feeling towards an ex. I'd never want him back, but he thought I was a complete nightmare and in hindsight my adhd destroyed that relationship. Although my other boyfriends accepted me the way I am and he didn't, so he'd probably have nothing nice to say about it! Good riddence!! ;D I want to be a clinical psychologist - so I could end up working with people with adhd!
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Post by kakema on Jun 30, 2011 21:13:39 GMT
I live in Croydon too, Ditzy, and work near Epsom. Getting into London can be a pain at times. I was 1.5 hours 'late' one time. Nice thing about hanging out with ADHDers is that nobody finds turning up that late strange.....
See you Tuesday? ;D
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Post by Deleted on Jul 1, 2011 21:05:18 GMT
Maybe! My boss told me today I'm working too hard (I think I may have something to prove), so I will ask to go early on Tuesday.
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