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Post by mizmog on Jul 21, 2011 18:48:23 GMT
Hello again... I would love not to need all u lovely ppl but it's just not working... I am taking the concerta but it's still the same... I love my job but it's the ppl I can't be around, ppl I can speak to one day suddenly become the conspirators the next... I hate the way they back stab, lie, cheat, trample and fight and for what? I don't get ppl at all and now I am considering the easy option yet again!
I hv hit the wall now of thinking that I am the center of a conspiracy to make me look stupid so I sit there staring down feeling like I am gonna explode trying to work but because my brain is constant noise I can't deal with it!
Work still don't know about the ADHD cos I am now scared to tell them but I really do cone across as a bit nuts cos I just stare at ppl when they are talking!
I just need to know how to control it... Concerta is doing nothing
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Post by snickerz on Jul 21, 2011 18:57:14 GMT
tell your bloody boss mrs, I used to feel exactly like you do thinking people were conspiring against me and shit, you have to remember you think different to normal people and that what might be important or urgent to you they will not even have thought about.
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Post by mizmog on Jul 21, 2011 19:41:33 GMT
Did u actually tell them that? That it's like a huge conspiracy? And how have they sorted it?
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Post by kakema on Jul 21, 2011 21:23:04 GMT
Have you tried any other meds, Mog?
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Post by snickerz on Jul 21, 2011 21:31:30 GMT
yeh in some repects i did miz they have a better understanding even if they dont agree and hey disability at work act has a lot of weight within a big company
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kreate
Member posts quite a bit
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Post by kreate on Jul 21, 2011 23:10:46 GMT
Hey there, i went through something very similar recently, sounds like workplace bullying to me, tell your boss.
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kreate
Member posts quite a bit
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Post by kreate on Jul 21, 2011 23:15:40 GMT
Remember, we are extra perceptive yes to whats going on, but this knowing can also make it bigger than it actually is, feeding paranoia. Do tell your boss though discrimination and bullying takes many different forms, of which absolutely none are accepted by law. Yes ADHD is covered.
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Post by mizmog on Jul 22, 2011 17:55:34 GMT
taught me a lesson - told my line Manager today, well at least I tried.. but seeing the look of boredom and lack of understanding, I started to freeze up until she said 'we all feel like that sometimes, dont worry about it'........ er hello? i wish it was just sometimes! so now I just look like a complete Muppet and to top it off, she passed work to others rather than me!! guess I shot myself in the foot! she did say however, as my hopefully saving Grace, that she wont say anything to anyone unless I REALLY needed to tell others... like she was saying I really shouldn't be telling anyone! aaarrrgghhh!! just made me so on edge all day and totally consumed with feeling like an utter freak!
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Post by kakema on Jul 22, 2011 18:21:03 GMT
It might help if you get your Occupational Health rep involved, now that you've disclosed. Your manager may need some enlightenment...
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Post by snickerz on Jul 22, 2011 18:24:15 GMT
take some printouts from this page thats what i did so it would enable them to have more of an understanding
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Post by mizmog on Jul 22, 2011 18:26:08 GMT
The company don't even hv a hr dept and the boss won't give anyone a contract and has booted 6 new starters since I started 5 months ago.... In our office we hv 7 people and 3 r managers lol so badly run but if u question it u look for another job!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 22, 2011 19:35:31 GMT
Hi mizmog,
I don't mean to put ideas in your head, but the "not getting people" thing is what eventually led me down the path of an Aspergers Syndrome diagnosis. It seems common for ADHD and AS to occur together.
Also, the staring at people thing is a bit AS too...
I used to get really down about my poor social skills, etc but when I got my diagnosis it made me realise I'm not alone. So it might be something worth looking into.
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Post by mizmog on Jul 22, 2011 19:40:45 GMT
do u know what jr, u might be right.... the first psych I saw last yr mentioned it, but then he left and the very ridged non believer that i now see wont talk about it... i think its Aspergers too, and I really wish I hadn't brushed it off at the first diagnoses, but am stuck at the moment...
how do u cope with that side of things?
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Post by snickerz on Jul 22, 2011 20:13:29 GMT
they are common to be co morbid mrs may be something to look into
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Post by mizmog on Jul 22, 2011 20:15:46 GMT
booked an appt with a different GP week on Monday, gonna try and sort it out!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 22, 2011 23:18:16 GMT
Well I attend a social support group run by the National Autistic Society. We basically meet up and do various activities together, like going to the cinema or playing crazy golf, etc. It's ok, although I don't really speak to many people there cos I don't know what to say tbh... But it's good to be around your "own kind" for a while. You can let your guard down and be yourself.
I don't have loads of friends, and the ones are do have are mostly girls. I suspect it's because girls have better social skills than guys, so it takes less effort to get along. But that's ok, because I don't need loads of friends. My friends are all a bit odd, and one has also been diagnosed with AS. So I guess my advice is to seek out more odd people :-)
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Post by mizmog on Jul 23, 2011 7:32:40 GMT
Thanks jr, maybe that's why I hv always just cut ppl out of my life and only a few hv remained firm... Unfortunately I hv to work and that's issue cos I am around those ppl longer than anyone else.. Just wish someone was sitting on my shoulder telling me how to behave
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Post by snickerz on Jul 23, 2011 7:37:21 GMT
I would sit on your sholder but afraid you wouldnt be able to take my weight
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Post by mizmog on Jul 23, 2011 8:16:05 GMT
U don't need to sit on my shoulder, u can stand in the turret and throw snickers lol
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Post by snickerz on Jul 23, 2011 9:55:20 GMT
well thats ok then lol
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Post by laura on Jul 23, 2011 10:21:27 GMT
hello mizmog sorry i dont have any advice as im not working at the moment, i did tell my boss at my last job and he seemed quite understanding but as i worked at jjb as a sales assistant there was not anything he could do to help me, i left a month after i disclosed as my job description changed and i could not deal with the change, i also could not deal with being around that many people all the time and feeling so confused. sorry talking about my problems again without any advice but i hope you manage to get some help at work and speak to an understanding gp about AS, which does seem a surprisingly common co-morbid, i am also going down this path. good luck Laura
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Post by mizmog on Jul 23, 2011 10:29:31 GMT
Decided to take a med brake today to see what kind of difference it makes... Mmmmmm interesting as I hv already told my hubby to wind his kneck in for trying to belittle me... Oooo feels good to be me but I can see how I would tell my boss where to stick her job if I went into work like this!!
I think that maybe I hv become so supressed that I don't fight back ... Is all the ADHD meds a suppressant?
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Post by mizmog on Jul 23, 2011 10:35:59 GMT
Hi Laura it's good to hear that others feel the same so just keep chipping in... I think that's a major problem with me that the goal posts keep moving and never hv a set job description! I am fine if I am left to do the work I was employed to do, but when they start throwing things in it really unsettled me... The boss decided to make it a competition and the ppl that fight to the top doing someone else's job get sweeties.... It reminded of the film saw, planting a key in my eye and the prize is to did it out myself to stay alive!!!
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Post by kakema on Jul 23, 2011 11:52:45 GMT
Not suppressant exactly - they should make you less emotionally volatile. And because you have time to consider your reaction before expressing it, you tend to dial the eventual reaction down a bit. But you still react, just as NT people do, and even 'normal' reactions will be 'extreme' in the right circumstances.
When I say I'm more chilled on dex, it just feels like I'm in control of my emotions and how much attention I want to give them, rather than the other way around, as I am unmedicated.
When unmedicated, my emotional state is constantly at the front of my mind, and I'm dancing to its tune. Meds just push all that back into the background so I can get on with my life.
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Post by phil on Jul 23, 2011 13:16:37 GMT
mizmog, you're what they call crossing you bridges before you get to them and when you try to open up to the boss it ain't comming out due to the fear factor. i have a suggestion why don't you write you're bosses a nice letter and keep a copy of the letter you wrote them on you're P.C explane about the medication the way it is making you feel ect; that way you have got the whole scenario of you chest and it will make things easier for you then you can breath again. that way you can express you're thoughts and feeling at a time when you not tense and on the spot! every one has anxiety and paranoia thats how the human race has suvived so long and thats what keeps us on our toes once you understand about it things get easier. if you tell you're boss theres a chance that you will lose most of what was said so a letter you have a record of exactly what you told them
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Post by mizmog on Jul 24, 2011 14:03:50 GMT
Hello everyone and thnx for your input -
Oooshiny, does Dex have a similar effect as Concerta or do u think it may be worth me asking for a change?
Phil, I had considered a letter, but every time I try I just feel so stupid like a 5 yr old - it would be excruciating to think that they would know and be looking at me like I am freak - at least face to face I can see they think that! But I will keep thinking about it cos it does make sense -
I took a med brake yesterday - felt so much better in the sense that suddenly I didnt care and had the good old 'I'll do what I want' attitude - not good I suppose but It did feel good.. unfortunately, I procrastinated so much that it took me 4 hours to get dressed and only managed to go shopping!
Today I took a Concerta again, and was up, dressed, garden and washing done all the usual with a calm and less manic attitude - but started to feel bad about work again!
Hv just replied to Trigger, because I think the problem is that when on Concerta, it deals with the core ADHD problems but leaves me feeling so helpless because I dont know how to behave without being irrational, erratic and completely off the wall or 'up in the air' - its left me feeling pretty vulnerable and unable to determine whats the right way - at least with ADHD in full swing, I would hv told them to go jump by now....
why when they prescribe these tablets, dont they also automatically give u therapy or at least coaching to prepare you?
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Post by kakema on Jul 24, 2011 18:07:14 GMT
The idea is that they do roughly the same thing, but I am more chilled, less anxious, less driven and unfortunately somewhat less focused on dex than mph. Thing is, med effects differ from person to person - dex makes some jittery and people get clenchy jaw, but I don't.
On the counselling, CBT and such gets awfully backed up on the NHS, but you should still ask your psych what is available in your area.
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Post by mizmog on Jul 25, 2011 17:07:32 GMT
Had a roughly average day today - but today, I decided to hv a note pad beside me and every time I had a negative thought, I noted when and why and what I felt - although I had several times during today where I felt pretty bad, writing it down really helped cos it broke the train of thought!
Am gonna do this everyday until my GP appt on Monday and see if I can come up with a pattern - or at the very least, if its helping then I might find its a kinda therapy!
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Post by mizmog on Jul 26, 2011 19:53:32 GMT
Update: ok so today I thought I would try it a little different.... Didn't take my concerta this morning (usually I take it about 8.15) spent the morning chomping my fingers whilst manically calling customers with the tablet sat beside me.. Strangely enough Although I was hyper and erratic, I didn't hv the anxiety! So I took the concerta lunch time... I had booked all my important calls for this afternoon and it worked really well! Calm and collected I steamed through this afternoon and even impressed the boss! Lol
Does anyone know if it's worth me asking for instant release to get me started in the morning ? My psych says it's not prescribed, but I am sure I hv read some where here that u can take them both?
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Post by kakema on Jul 26, 2011 21:04:15 GMT
Yes! IR is regularly prescribed in combo with concerta.
Mmmm.....tablet......... ;D
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