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Post by redneck on Oct 24, 2011 15:50:11 GMT
And if you do where are they? ? Yes OK I know I'm an adult ADHDER BUT yes I have children and surely some of you do??? Or, maybe you dont .. yeh maybe you dont ... answered my own question hahahahahahahahaha!! RR
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Post by kakema on Oct 24, 2011 19:21:53 GMT
I think quite a few of us do - and there is at least one mother/daughter combo of members. I'll leave you to work out who they are... ;D
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 24, 2011 19:56:16 GMT
Yep, I've got a 2yo boy. And at the moment we are the perfect fit!
Loud music, dancing, rolling around, running about, shouting, weird noises, painting, drawing, singing, throwing cushions, bouncing balls, tantrums, and sometimes he joins in!!
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han3617
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Post by han3617 on Oct 25, 2011 13:00:50 GMT
Yes - I have ADD and so does my 16 year-old daughter. It's great because we totally understand each other, and know that in actual fact both of us are perfectly normal, and it's just everyone else who's a bit odd! ;D
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Post by redneck on Nov 4, 2011 20:22:43 GMT
It's not that great though is it? RR
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Post by hazy on Nov 4, 2011 20:39:07 GMT
why wouldn't it be that great?
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Post by kakema on Nov 4, 2011 23:28:33 GMT
I love that my (11 year old) daughter and I can talk about ADHD and understand how it affects us. So yes, like Han, I think it's great. Not great actually having ADHD; just having that shared challenge.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 21, 2012 13:46:07 GMT
I understand that kakema. I have three kids and my eldest, 9, has ADHD. I think it helps her to know that I've got ADHD too so I know what she means when she tries to tell us how she's feeling.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 21, 2012 15:33:36 GMT
Yes, it proved handy when talking to her teachers at parents' evening this week, too - they were getting her distractibility, forgetfulness and organisation, but they hadn't realised her tendency to rush at tasks, or the way she's polarised between complete indifference/do the bare minimum, and utterly absorbed in tasks, are also part of the deal.
I still got a big if 'if she'd only concentrate', though, which is a bit frustrating - they wouldn't say 'if she'd only spell properly' to me, knowing she's dyslexic. I spent a fair bit of time explaining that telling her 'why' she's learning stuff will help catch her attention - she always responds better when she can see the point - but then, doesn't everyone?
Anyway, now I've got more ammo when she goes for her assessment (which, for those who've been following that struggle, the specialist ADHD team have told the generalist, who was swithering over referring her because the school hadn't been reporting enough problems, that her case is sufficiently ambiguous to warrant an assessment).
Btw, I was kakema when I first joined, but now I'm shiny.
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Post by jools on Feb 22, 2012 17:30:34 GMT
I don't think it's that great either. Trying to cope with an adhd child when you yourself are struggling isn't really easy .. from what I've heard it isn't easy when you DON'T have adhd ... or if it is as easy as the above posters say, I am obviously failing. I don't think it's a shared challenge I think it's a head-to-head out and out struggle.
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Post by lambylottie on Jul 17, 2012 16:27:21 GMT
Hey i'm new! I am 26 and a mum of two beautiful little girls. My daughter Ellie (5years old) is being referred (hopefully) to be assessed after both her teacher and I had a discussion about her behaviour at school and at home. She has found this first year at school (reception) extremely difficult and has caused both her teacher and myself no end of problems! That's once I can actually get her to get dressed, eat and out the door! She has an amazing imagination, is creative and so funny! However emotionally and socially she is miles behind, her attention span is limited and her tantrums are like a 2 year olds!
Since looking at all of the symptoms I feel that I also have adhd. I have been diagnosed with depression, however my struggles throughout my life have been mainly down to frustration and self-esteem issues and now I am beginning to understand why! I think I may be mainly inattentive, however I have bouts of impulsitivity and if I get excited about something can be quite hyperactive too! lol
I went to see my gp last week about my little girl, does anybody know roughly how long until I hear anything about her referall? The doctor was about as useful as a chocolate teapot at getting me any help, which I have noticed is a common theme throughout this forum!!
Lottie x
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Post by Notlonelyinacrowdnow on Jul 17, 2012 16:44:11 GMT
I have to agree with Jools here Every day it's a Challenge between me & my 15yr old Daughter .. Both having ADHD she also has mild Autism but we battle she has this !thing! I say green she says blue I say no she says yes I say tit she says tat lol its draining and yes I understand ADHD I really do but it's still hard with a constant battle ground .. I've learnt to be Tidy in my ways my daughter is OMG mess mess and mess I go to do her bed each morning it's full of stuff in her bed Pens Hairbrushes Make up Clothes her laptop 9 times out of 10 she slept amongst it all ,.. Lol I really can't get my head around it and am assuming its more likely to be her ASD rather than ADHD ... Not sure though xxx
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Post by Notlonelyinacrowdnow on Jul 17, 2012 16:47:15 GMT
Lottie.. You perhaps will he referered to
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Post by Notlonelyinacrowdnow on Jul 17, 2012 16:55:58 GMT
Sorry finger slipped !!!
Primary school noticed issues with my Daughter 'lights were on but very day dreamy poor attention span ect.. They got extra help involved for her then she was referred to the Educational Phycologist and from then on was just Watched really .. Nothing concrete was done till her transition to high school everything hit the fan basically she just couldn't handle it Big School loud classes too many kids nothing going in her brain and staying in she was also finding it hard socially to the point were she was returning home after her day & freaking out violent moods anger destroying her things and we realised she was suppressing herself in school all day so it was reflecting at home ., In the end after numerous meetings at school ( being told She was fine and doing well?? She refused to go school completely we had the School Social Worker to the house ect and then when they realised we were not just being over protective parents She was referred for Assessment so it was a rather long drawn out procedure that we had to instigate .. Lottie stick to your gut instinct and fight for help with school but don't leave it there as sooner or later she will move to high school ect you need get assessed diagnosed & Statement in place .. I hope all goes well xxx
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Post by Deleted on Jul 17, 2012 20:55:40 GMT
I have to agree with Jools here Every day it's a Challenge between me & my 15yr old Daughter .. Both having ADHD she also has mild Autism but we battle she has this !thing! I say green she says blue I say no she says yes I say tit she says tat lol its draining and yes I understand ADHD I really do but it's still hard with a constant battle ground .. I've learnt to be Tidy in my ways my daughter is OMG mess mess and mess I go to do her bed each morning it's full of stuff in her bed Pens Hairbrushes Make up Clothes her laptop 9 times out of 10 she slept amongst it all ,.. Lol I really can't get my head around it and am assuming its more likely to be her ASD rather than ADHD ... Not sure though xxx Well, mine doesn't have ASD (I don't think, anyway) but she does have all the same bad habits as yours! Her dad is a slob, too...
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Post by AnotherHan on Jan 23, 2013 14:03:53 GMT
Hi. I'm new to this and to ADHD, though I think I have had it all my life without realising until my 5yo Daughter was picked up for signs of it. It was her nursery that flagged it up and her school has mentioned it too now, so I set about researching it and seeing if I could help her in any way possible. As I was reading about it, I realised I was reading my own life story! Everything, from my school reports (The consistent repeated sentence "Could do better if she concentrated") to my parents telling me to get of my cloud, concentrate on what you're doing, slow down, mind that lampost, buck up your ideas, pull your socks up, get on with it, stop procrastinating, do it quickly, handwriting like a spider's walked across the page, snap out of it, you're so messy and disorganised, tidy your room, WHY can't you tidy your room, your room is messy AGAIN, where's your PE kit, you know you have PE on a Wednesday, why can't you remember your PE Kit on a Wednesday! .... on and on and on... I actually now suffer with anxiety and depression. I thought as a result of just having a melancholic predisposition. There's nothing really wrong with my life, except me and my general crapness at doing stuff other people just seem to get on with. But with my daughter suddenly being highlighted for doing the exact same things I did in school, it all became very very apparent what was going on and what had gone on with me. I'm starting to think, my depression is a result of my low self esteem, which is pretty much so low it's underground, and that could well be caused by having an undiagnosed tendency towards ADHD or ADD.
It makes me sad to think that my parents went through my youth just telling me off for being generally rubbish, and my teachers doing much the same, and my friends laughing when I do stupid things. It's always just been me, being me. The nice people in my life are very tolerant and say they wouldn't have me any other way, and its always been a bit of a joke really. Sometimes it's not always that funny. It's definitely not funny now it's my little girls doing it.
So, with my little one showing the same signs and symptoms as me, and looking as though she's already heading down that low self esteem route - i.e. she already says she's sad because it's always her fault. She says it's her bones making her do silly things and that she wants to learn (We know that - she's a real "why" child, even though she's off asking the next question before we've answered the first) but she's just not always in the room with the rest of the class. Her teacher has already said those words to me... "She could be so much more if she would just concentrate..." What do I do now? Get myself diagnosed properly? My Doctor would just think I was mad wouldn't she? Especially as I'm there every month telling her I'm still depressed. She's going to mark me down as a hypochondriac! To what end would a diagnosis help me other than it being on a piece of paper. Can they actually assign me some help in getting my socks pulled up???
Well, I have been totally distracted from what I should be doing by typing this post, so I'd best get on with what I'm meant to be doing... Thanks for letting me vent a bit. Sorry I'm a bit mopey. I'm looking into ways to sort it, so any information would be grand. Thanks again.
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Post by jan on Jan 24, 2013 8:12:19 GMT
hi im parent, she's 18 now. Its blessing that your daughters add has been picked up early my daughter wasn't diagnosed until she was 14 and had a very difficult and unhappy experience in primrary school and comp, and has a heap of pshycological baggage as a result, I'm at end of my tether with her at mo ( see my post yesterday - please help) and lot of problem is my guilt around all that when she was younger as for long time just thought she was deliberately defiant and wasn't trying to behave in school.
I also have realised that I have add and get what your saying as I have had huge problems with anxiety and depression for years and have this year realised that i have seasonal affective disorder as welll and feel if i turn up at the doctors claiming this they are just going to think yeah huge hypochondriac! For now i am just going to concentrate on my daughter while at same time researching the add and trying to manage mine without meds as i just cant face another battle with any kind of authority figure at mo , maybe down the line i will think about iti I do feel the condition has screwed up my life kicked out school years later dropped out of uni low skilled jobs ever since etc but have to look forward now. its a personal decision really - will be a battle though if your up for it going by most people's experience on this site.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 24, 2013 19:40:10 GMT
AnotherHan - yes, getting yourself a dx, and your daughter, will be A Good Thing. Even if it only gives you a bit of reassurance now and then that it's not your/her fault.
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Post by dizzydee on Jan 28, 2013 16:38:27 GMT
I've got two children daughter 16 and son 13, my daughter has got herself some help with anxiety and depression and i think my son is adhd - pi but waiting to see.
well actually i haven't taken him docs yet ... not sure why... hmm better give that some thought!!
But its like me and my daughter are from different planets sometimes she says i have no idea but i do!
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liv
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Post by liv on Jan 28, 2013 19:18:53 GMT
What do I do now? Get myself diagnosed properly? My Doctor would just think I was mad wouldn't she? Especially as I'm there every month telling her I'm still depressed. She's going to mark me down as a hypochondriac! To what end would a diagnosis help me other than it being on a piece of paper. Can they actually assign me some help in getting my socks pulled up??? I'm not a parent (yet!) and so can't help with that, but I got diagnosed aged 40 (I'm almost 42 now) and can say that it was definitely worth it. I was taken seriously, and the process took about 8-9 months from my first visit to the GP. One problem that I didn't expect was that some of my friends, who previously had mostly accepted that I am as I am when I'm not on meds, now seems to have a different attitude. This could also be some paranoia/just getting used to myself and what this means on my part, but I think some of my friends feel I am or will use ADHD as a catch all excuse; it seems 'convenient' to them that I can potentially explain things away, as opposed to them kindly tolerating their somewhat odd friend, if that makes sense. But that problem is outweighed by the relief at knowing why my life has been as it has and has helped my self-esteem. The meds (when I'm on them, but that's another story) help *massively* too. Whatever you do about you though, I think it's great that you'll be able to understand and help your daughter with insight. I'm pretty sure, post-diagnosis, that my dad has it too, but he had no idea and his own major self-esteem issues. If he'd known, I'm sure we could have helped each other better.
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aquamanda
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Post by aquamanda on Mar 8, 2013 0:51:20 GMT
My story is pretty much the same as AnotherHan except I am 45 and my son is 6 - The huge realization last year that I appear to have had ADHD (or symptoms of) for my whole life was a result of trying to discover what was causing my son's quirky behaviour.
6 months down the line I have had several sessions with a clinical psychiatrist who has told me in no uncertain terms that ADHD does not exist so I can't have it and neither can my son. After completing the Conners Q, receiving school reports and seeing my son, the paediatrician at my local hospital has confirmed he has mid-high ADHD levels.
So...I have asked her to hang fire on an official diagnosis for now as I genuinely don't know what is for the best.
I now feel worse about myself than I did before I thought I had ADHD (my friends always accused me of having it, I always thought they were joking), my husband really has no insight into me or my son's quirks and I don' t have a particularly positive outlook for the future despite trying really hard to be perky.
What now? Thanks x
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Post by Deleted on Mar 8, 2013 1:24:45 GMT
I would like to know why some of these experts feel justified in disavowing ADHD. Is there something WE don't know? Is there some crude commercial undertone to It Doesn't Really Existâ„¢? No financial incentive to pursue? Is it a class thing? Are doctors problem solvers by nature? If you're a doctor who doesn't believe in ADHD, PLEASE educate the rest of us by posting on here. If it's not ADHD, what is it? aquamanda, I would be tempted to get a second opinion on yourself although I've no idea how one proceeds with a 6 year old! You can't medicate a 6 year old, surely? Best of luck!
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