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Post by kakema on Nov 17, 2011 10:42:49 GMT
We now have a few meets/support groups that happen regularly, and I thought it might be worth doing a bit of 'research' to help others who might be thinking about starting their own group (eg me, for S London ;D ).
Those of you who go regularly - what really works for you and keeps you going? What sort of format do you prefer? Structured/informal? A set theme each time? Location? Timing/frequency?
What have you found less appealing? What would you change if you were in charge?
Those of you who don't go, but could because there's one fairly near - what stops you going?
And everyone - what would your dream meetup/support group involve?
If you'd prefer to pm me with your thoughts, that's fine.
Let's see what we can learn from each other!
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Post by mccutcheon on Nov 17, 2011 11:12:39 GMT
no no, don't pm shiny unless you pm me too! There's nothing available here in Vienna so I'm thinking of starting a group as well. Bring on the input!
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Post by Deleted on Nov 17, 2011 16:41:08 GMT
I like having optional pub sessions afterwards. I know it isn't a good idea to hold meetings in pubs because some people with ADHD are trying to avoid alcohol and not fair to exclude them or make it more difficult for them. But I am not yet ready to deal with my drink problem so enjoy continuing to chat to people over a pint.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 17, 2011 16:52:41 GMT
People is the most important thing, as always. Everything else not so important. I would like meetings to be more frequent than once a month definitely. I wish Costa meeting was going on like once a week.
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Post by kakema on Nov 18, 2011 7:25:31 GMT
Ok, so....we like talking to each other. That's good....
How about the groups at the more structured end of things? Do you like having a theme? Have you ever gone to a group that managed to do 'themes' consistently? Did it feel too restricting (if you just wanted to discuss an issue of your own?
And what does the 'support' bit of 'support group' mean for you? Just the meet, or being part of a group who know they can call/txt each other when things are tough? Too intrusive (I like you all, but I don't like you that much?)
Leaders - do you need support of any kind (lol - like anyone's there to provide it....)? It's quite a commitment - would it help to have a rotating group of leaders, so one person wasn't always in the frame (and could take a month off)?
Here are some other random thoughts, to see if they 'spark'....
How about if a larger group (we regularly get double figs in C London) broke up into smaller groups for part of the session, to focus one exploring one member's issue - anyone could put an issue on the table and the teams could vote on the issue they wanted to think about for that session?
(It helps, with that model, if you can build a stable team who develop a level of rapport and commitment, which then moves into the 'ongoing support' model described above. But that's at the very structured end of the spectrum, and people might prefer to allow that sort of arrangement to evolve naturally.)
What about better reporting of discussions back to the forum - if a group feels it's made inroads on a topic - we could bring our thoughts back here? Would demand a volunteer 'reporter', though.
And how about a suggested monthly theme across all the support groups? We could choose it democratically using forum voting, or maybe look at the topic that got most airtime in the forum and carry it into the groups? Or pick a Barkeley YouTube clip or a book to discuss? Too controlling? Something to do occasionally?
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Post by Deleted on Nov 18, 2011 10:05:39 GMT
Most important - getting people in. I make it as easy as possible for people to attend in as many ways as possible - Location - good and cheap transport links. City centre is central and good for trains and buses but rubbish for car - in London cars are a complete no no but elsewhere parking could be important
- Venue. Does it cost to attend? People asking for cash to attend a meet are an extra cost and change the tone of the meet - 'I've paid for this so I expect result'.
- Venue part 2. Is it comfortable for a meet? Pubs and coffee houses can be noisy and put off those that don't like noise or have social phobias or privacy issues
- Time. Everyone has times/days that are convenient/inconvenient. Parents might find it difficult to get evenings or weekends off but a daytime meet misses everyone with a standard job.
I deliberately avoided Wednesday evening since the Champions league is on and footy fans might not like it and Thursday and Friday evenings clash with the start of the weekend social whirl.
And once the victims attendees are at the venue what next? There will be a conflict of interest. Some are diagnosed, medicated etc and settled so just there for social reasons. They're a valuable resource for those 'coming up'. Some are part way there who want advice or moral support to get through. Others are 'shopping' to see if they're barking up the right tree. The last two groups might find it off-putting to walk into a lecture/strong structure where they don't get chance to chase their specific problem. Others have done the chat and now want to advance their knowledge. It's like balancing a school with just one class for 5-18 year olds. It's not feasible to have an intimate conversation between more than 6 people so a bigger group needs to either - be lectured
- be split into small enough groups
Either you let the groups find their own space (a larger room might be needed so a chair doesn't need to be 'owned') or someone could shepherd people around to match those with problems with those with experience. I have a problem in that a lot of my time is spent answering specific questions so meets I go to/arrange go by in a flash and there's never enough time for anything else. I'd like someone with a specific interest to talk about it for 15-20 minutes, in a very relaxed way, discuss it informally and then get into circulating around the group for most of the time. Me? Opinion on the subject?
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Post by just 1 thought on Nov 18, 2011 19:30:42 GMT
As long as everyone is made to feel welcome, that's all that is important
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Post by Deleted on Nov 28, 2011 3:33:16 GMT
The best thing I get from the meetings is actually talking to people without any lecturers. I don't see any need to split anyone into anything. People split themselves and communicate without any problems from what I've seen. Just create a good atmosphere for that and make it easy for people to be themselves. Better no lecturing than bad lecturing.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 28, 2011 3:54:09 GMT
I wouldn't like the group when people would have to be shepherd, honestly. I think that niche is already taken. We need the group with no bullshit and real information about ADHD. I would be interested in participating in that. Let me know if you have any ideas.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 28, 2011 4:00:31 GMT
oooshiny, how about we do something together? Really I don't think transport is that bad in London to have to have different groups for south/north/east/west. I don't think it would be good.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 28, 2011 4:04:22 GMT
On the other hand, I see nothing wrong with just making London's Costa group a little bit better instead. For me traveling on the train an hour or an hour and twenty minutes doesn't make any difference. Unless you want to do something really different.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 28, 2011 10:10:05 GMT
The best thing I get from the meetings is actually talking to people without any lecturers. I don't see any need to split anyone into anything. People split themselves and communicate without any problems from what I've seen. Just create a good atmosphere for that and make it easy for people to be themselves. Better no lecturing than bad lecturing. I ask people for feedback on the meets I organise and I go to different meets too. If you're happy with chatting then you're easily pleased - a more formally organised meet quite often has more than one room so chatterers can stick to the chat room. But there are plenty who want more or don't thrive in a chat situation and they start staying away once they've sampled a chat only meet. Some people actually need a little help to break the ice and benefit from being introduced to others - since I try to have a little background knowledge on likely attendees I've never had to use my cattle prod on anyone...yet (mwuhahahahaha). Organisation doesn't mean that it has to be dull or contrived but the last thing I want is for anyone to be bored or overwhelmed by the experience. As for bad lectures - I don't want to drive people away so they'd have to be an interesting proposition.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 12, 2011 23:39:09 GMT
I am one of the organisers of the Brighton group and would love to help with setting up new groups. If you can get the local ADHD clinic onboard that can really help. We got the local clinic to write to the 150+ people on their books and it really helped launch the group. When I have more time I will get back to you with anything else I can think of....
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Post by Deleted on Dec 12, 2011 23:40:44 GMT
And your very welcome to Brighton to see one of our meetings. We meet twice a month with a structure peer led support meeting and a ADHD social in a pub.
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