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Post by mizmog on Feb 17, 2012 10:52:04 GMT
I know change such as someone messing up my routine can upset the apple cart, but I didn't realize ppl coming and going affected me!
I hv survived 15 ppl leaving/getting thr boot this small company in the yr I hv been there... The latest was a power hungry, nasty little snake that allienated everyone and chose to leave by mutual agreement yesterday.... Now, I thought I would be over the moon cos she was making my life hell but seconds after she went I felt absolute turmoil!! I still feel it now even though I hv a day off work!
No one was very nice to her and it was like a witch hunt... So why am I shouldering the guilt for it?
She just about stabbed everyone in the back and was open about wanting the boss's job.. I don't get why I am not just enjoying the fact she's not there now! I almost panicking!!
Anyone feel like this or know why this happens?
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Post by Mouse on Feb 17, 2012 14:30:41 GMT
Maybe because with so many people leaving it is not purely guilt but maybe concern at the general situation of unrest and also that you are a nice person and even if someone has been a real sh*t and making your life hell - even when you get what you wish for, your innate niceness can't help but surface! The panicking may be more to do with the fact that change or changes are out of your control.
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Post by Mouse on Feb 17, 2012 14:34:19 GMT
I may be about to go through a major change in my circumstances and I feel on edge all the time. Butterflies permanently in residence in stomach. I find myself pressing for an answer - just cos I want everything sorted so that I can resolve things and be settled. Even though pressing for an answer is the worst thing i could be doing.
I have avoided this change cos the thought of it has been too great and also the inertia is easier to accept than get over. Easier to do nothing than as you say upset the applecart.
As a result I cannot stick to anything routine or the everyday domestic stuff and have no interest in it. The problem has become the sole focus on interest at the moment and everything else can go hang.
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Post by twix on Feb 17, 2012 14:53:05 GMT
I think the unsettled-ness is bad for us.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 17, 2012 14:55:16 GMT
I struggle with it really badly and it's a major problem for me at work.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 17, 2012 18:24:04 GMT
i feel the same about when people come into my house. even if its people i know i can feel really invaded. the whole atmosphere in the house seems to change.
its the same when they leave. its like a storm blew through the house and has now suddenly subsided.
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Post by sherry on Feb 17, 2012 22:50:23 GMT
Generally I have a hissy fit or get majorly stressed put. I don't like visiting and I don't like guests much, its like walking on hot coals.
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Lame44
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Post by Lame44 on Feb 19, 2012 1:03:53 GMT
My Dad came today out the blue, opened the door, said 'oh, it's you, hang on' slammed the door, got some bottoms on coz was only in boxers n went back to let him in. I wasn't in a good mood anyway but I hate anyone apart from my gf here. Horrible it really is. Don't know why.......I don't even like letting people in who have appointments like a repair or something. Few weeks ago I was due my annual propert check...... I didn't want anyone in, nevermind having to talk to them so in the end I went out so I didn't have to face it! Last one was done in minutes but just couldn't do it. Be good to know if anyone else gets like that here?
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Post by mizmog on Feb 19, 2012 22:32:46 GMT
I honestly thought I was on my own with this one... Ryan I get completely like that, avoid ppl coming to my home at all costs and if I know they really hv to come I get so worked up that i am a wreck by the time get here!! I hv been known to hide when I see an unexpected car pull up!!
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Lame44
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Post by Lame44 on Feb 19, 2012 22:39:25 GMT
I honestly thought I was on my own with this one... Ryan I get completely like that, avoid ppl coming to my home at all costs and if I know they really hv to come I get so worked up that i am a wreck by the time get here!! I hv been known to hide when I see an unexpected car pull up!! Sounds the same as me Mizmog, I just hate it, it's a horrible feeling isn't it that you cant really describe.
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Post by twix on Feb 20, 2012 14:31:42 GMT
It depends who it is and what mood I'm in, but yeah sometimes very much so.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 20, 2012 15:57:20 GMT
I honestly thought I was on my own with this one... Ryan I get completely like that, avoid ppl coming to my home at all costs and if I know they really hv to come I get so worked up that i am a wreck by the time get here!! I hv been known to hide when I see an unexpected car pull up!! I have done that before too. Some days I find it easier than others though. I am not sure why. I think some days I just feel a lot more autistic than others, (I put it down to autism in my case - some days I just want to be alone, and not have to have the stress of having to communicate with someone, cause some days it takes a lot of processing power just to do that) To comment on your first post - Is it because you have a low self esteem yourself, that you blame yourself for the sacked employees actions? That maybe if you were nicer to her, that she might have been totally different herself, and not been sacked? Maybe the 15 people left because of you in some way? Are you feeling bad thinking how you could have done/said things differently with them? (I don't mean that as a personal attack - more of a hypothetical irrational thinking pattern if you see what I mean) It sounds unlikely that you think that, but I get similar thoughts (in similar situations) myself. They are totally illogical, and I hate that because I try to apply logic to just about everything. I hate emotions. I wish I understood them more, then I might be able to cope with them! John
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Post by andy12345 on Feb 20, 2012 17:30:59 GMT
Wow, avoidance issues. I actuallly avoid people I know, in shops and things, if I can. It's my first instinct, but I'm not sure why I need to do it.
The closer they are emotionally, the more to avoid them.
Weird shit, totally. I need to pursue my autism consultation, but can't be bothered. Should have done it before the world collapsed and got all Austerititous.
Autistic, avoidant or both? meh
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Post by mizmog on Feb 22, 2012 13:16:46 GMT
On this subject of change, I've had a situation this week that might be useful to someone...
A while ago, I had terrible issues with work trying to move my desk and threw my teddies out of the pram... The result was that I got pulled up and had to confess to ADHD/aspergers...
Anyway, this week they hv been on a restructure again and hv restructured the whole office around me! It made me smile cos the boss kept saying, don't worry we'll be settled again soon....
So although I don't discuss/use the disability, and i wasnt even sure they cared, it seems they are aware and accommodating of some of the change issues!!
My point being, that it's not always the end of the line when u make an employer aware!
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Post by snickerz on Feb 22, 2012 18:22:03 GMT
I hate change even holiday of college can affect me, I need the routine the college gives me. Change of medication send me into super anxious pyscho mode
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Post by snickerz on Apr 4, 2012 5:07:12 GMT
how is work now mizmog
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Post by mizmog on Apr 5, 2012 20:58:28 GMT
Mmmm next question!
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