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Post by Idiot on May 7, 2012 15:25:06 GMT
I don't know how many of you others with ADHD cope with conflict? Personally, it makes me want to run away and crawl into a very deep hole. It frightens me and makes me panic. I just read through the last 50 posts on here and so much conflict, how do you cope with it all?
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 7, 2012 15:31:15 GMT
Well must be really tough for you! Conflict is part and parcel of what ADHD is and does to people. I find myself frequently raging and having pointless arguments for no reason.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 7, 2012 15:52:54 GMT
I get strangely calm when I'm angry. Confrontation and "getting things sorted" are my specialities! Something about it seems to put my words back in order (my brain usually provides the words too quickly so I make strange mistakes when I talk) so I get all eloquent and confident.
I know where my limit is, though. I've learned over the years when I should walk away before I say something I don't mean.
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Post by sherry on May 7, 2012 16:03:34 GMT
Thanks to the evil step bitch spending hours ranting and raving at me as a child, I meet most conflict with a grin. To be fair tho as I get older I really can't be arsed with it, however every now and then it catches my interest and I rise to the occasion with bags of enthusiasm.
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jdog
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Post by jdog on May 7, 2012 20:15:55 GMT
I work in Security as a Door Supervisor (new pc word for bouncer) so I choose to put myself in the way of conflict each night at work. In work mode then I am professional and can remain calm in most situations and can generally talk a situation down. Sometimes being calm annoys the antagonist even more because I don't react to name calling etc. Dealing with idiots generally means that I am calmer in day to day life but not always especially with the frustrations of ADD.
I have done many things and I think finding out recently about my ADD explains why I enjoy the Doors. I can go to work, there is a certain ammount of adventure and and at the end of the night I get paid and go home and no last minute reports or projects to lie awake over.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 8, 2012 1:03:26 GMT
Well must be really tough for you! Conflict is part and parcel of what ADHD is and does to people. I find myself frequently raging and having pointless arguments for no reason. Actually, no, it isn't. I know plenty of ADHD folk who are thoroughly impulsive, restless and impatient, but who don't then lay aggression over the top. I hate conflict too, idiot - it gets me very anxious. All sorts of reasons for this, mostly connected with the extremes of my ADHD mother. Very stressful. I also lose it and vent in private or among people I can't vent in front of safely.
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Post by Mouse on May 8, 2012 8:57:28 GMT
When things get heated I will walk away to avoid venting and saying something I later wish I hadn't. Been likened to a verbal gutting by a friend.
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Post by claudhopper on May 8, 2012 15:26:33 GMT
I get strangely calm when I'm angry. Confrontation and "getting things sorted" are my specialities! Something about it seems to put my words back in order (my brain usually provides the words too quickly so I make strange mistakes when I talk) so I get all eloquent and confident. I know where my limit is, though. I've learned over the years when I should walk away before I say something I don't mean. A good old 'discussion' really clears my head too. I don't mean really aggressive stuff. But a good old discussion is sooooo much easier than 'small talk'. When things get going, I'm at home and my mind picks up ideas, comparisons and witty replies all over the place. I talk fairly coherently and fluently at a thousand miles per hour and nobody can get a word in. But full-on acrimony isn't a debate and I don't really like it.
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hopeful
Member posts quite a bit
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Post by hopeful on May 8, 2012 19:09:55 GMT
I hate conflict. I think it is because I do get very easily tearful. Not necessarily upset, but even if I am angry or frustrated the tears come. I try to explain that they should be ignored, but most people just don't get it. I do think a big part of it is fear of what I would say or do, if I ever did let my temper have free reign. A verbal gutting is probably not far off!
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Post by mighty on May 9, 2012 1:28:01 GMT
I can be calm in a dickish way too haha. When someone starts getting pissed off I'll often do exactly what gets to them most and not rise to it, become a bit patronising or play ignorant and maybe smug. Saying this I haven't always been like this. Can create a lot of conflict too, especially with people I'm close too, too not thinking in replies or bluntness
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 9, 2012 13:15:22 GMT
Amen to that I tend to cause a lot of unpleasantness just either without thinking or worse on purpose yet I don't know why... It may drive other people crazy but it is driving me slowly and surely insane.
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