Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jun 1, 2012 9:46:21 GMT
Does anyone else experience really intense bouts of irritability and anger (often irrational)?
I find it especially strong in the mornings, and has got to the point where the slightest thing winds me up and I even sometimes actually kick things - boxes, the sofa etc - out of frustration/rage. I get really snappy, impatient and sarcastic with people too, and then feel really guilty afterwards. I feel that it is almost unbearable to be around people - which is very problematic, being that I work in retail management, so have both customers and staff to contend with, and rarely a moment's peace or solitude.
It's really getting me down - does anyone have any similar experiences or advice?
(For reference, I am not yet diagnosed - still waiting for my assessment with consultant psych - and so unmedicated.)
|
|
zeem
Member's not posted much yet
Posts: 3
|
Post by zeem on Jun 1, 2012 9:49:50 GMT
I get this all the time. I've recently started trying nicotine lozenges (which are supposed to be a stop-smoking aid), which seem to help quite a bit.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jun 1, 2012 9:55:26 GMT
Seems reasonable to me.
Buy a punchbag.
|
|
hopeful
Member posts quite a bit
Posts: 113
|
Post by hopeful on Jun 1, 2012 9:56:21 GMT
Me for one. I hate my temper. I hate how angry I can get at my daughter over nothing!
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jun 1, 2012 10:11:25 GMT
I get this all the time. I've recently started trying nicotine lozenges (which are supposed to be a stop-smoking aid), which seem to help quite a bit. Interesting idea, but I'm having my usual summer issue of struggling not to start smoking again (the sun makes me want to smoke for some reason)! I'm keeping it to the odd one now and then. The worst thing is that it really does help with stress. If only it wouldn't slowly kill me at the same time!
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jun 1, 2012 11:11:05 GMT
I have an explosive temper that scares me at times. I don't know what I will do occasionally when things are really on top of me!
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jun 1, 2012 11:40:08 GMT
Seems reasonable to me. Buy a punchbag. I don't know, it doesn't feel too reasonable when I get such uncontrollabe feelings of anger that I end up kicking the sofa - for the reason that I was trying to put my hair in a certain style and just couldn't get it right. It's that kind of overreaction that bothers me. The work stuff - meh, I don't especially enjoy my job, parts of it at least - BUT it shouldn't aggravate me so much that I end up seething and snapping at customers and staff, and feeling so angry I could explode out of my clothes like the bloody Hulk.
|
|
hopeful
Member posts quite a bit
Posts: 113
|
Post by hopeful on Jun 1, 2012 11:48:40 GMT
I think a lot of my anxiety comes from suppressing my temper. I rarely let it show to anyone, and hardly ever allow myself to externalise my anger in any way. I think I am afraid of what I would do if I did.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jun 1, 2012 12:52:35 GMT
Seems reasonable to me. Buy a punchbag. I don't know, it doesn't feel too reasonable when I get such uncontrollabe feelings of anger that I end up kicking the sofa - for the reason that I was trying to put my hair in a certain style and just couldn't get it right. It's that kind of overreaction that bothers me. The work stuff - meh, I don't especially enjoy my job, parts of it at least - BUT it shouldn't aggravate me so much that I end up seething and snapping at customers and staff, and feeling so angry I could explode out of my clothes like the bloody Hulk. It seems perfectly reasonable that an undignosed ADHDer feels that way - isn't that why we seek treatment?
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jun 1, 2012 13:48:50 GMT
I don't know, it doesn't feel too reasonable when I get such uncontrollabe feelings of anger that I end up kicking the sofa - for the reason that I was trying to put my hair in a certain style and just couldn't get it right. It's that kind of overreaction that bothers me. The work stuff - meh, I don't especially enjoy my job, parts of it at least - BUT it shouldn't aggravate me so much that I end up seething and snapping at customers and staff, and feeling so angry I could explode out of my clothes like the bloody Hulk. It seems perfectly reasonable that an undignosed ADHDer feels that way - isn't that why we seek treatment? Yeah, absolutely. I think maybe I misunderstood what you said a bit? But yes, it's that and other upsetting symptoms which make me so determined to find a solution - it's the thought that maybe I don't have to be like this, maybe it isn't some character flaw but something that is fixable. I think this is why I'm extra stressed at the moment, because I feel like I'm so close to solving what's been "wrong" with me all these years, but I'm coming up against all these bloody NHS barriers and the endless waiting, and it's so bloody frustrating.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jun 2, 2012 6:27:20 GMT
The Hulk thing is a good analogy - my temper is cataclysmic, and I know I have a huge potential for violence, although I've kept a ruthlessly tight lid on it since I was quite young. I feel like a nuclear power station heading for meltdown at times, but my upbringing was extreme (my mother was a violent, unpredictable, strict disciplinarian, and I learned a level of self-control that was probably quite extraordinary for an ADHDer. That has itself caused me problems ever since, and I've found the partial easing of that pressure that came from understanding my disorder incredibly liberating.
My daughter's the same, and still hasn't acquired enough control to stop herself lashing out viciously, but we're able to talk about it now in the knowledge that we both understand how it feels, and she's gradually learning to manage the extremes a bit better.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jun 3, 2012 8:30:00 GMT
Grrrrrr hulk feels that his feelings are not being properly considered and wants a nice cup of tea....
|
|
|
Post by claudhopper on Jun 3, 2012 10:39:03 GMT
The Hulk thing is a good analogy - my temper is cataclysmic, and I know I have a huge potential for violence, although I've kept a ruthlessly tight lid on it since I was quite young. I feel like a nuclear power station heading for meltdown at times, but my upbringing was extreme (my mother was a violent, unpredictable, strict disciplinarian, and I learned a level of self-control that was probably quite extraordinary for an ADHDer. That has itself caused me problems ever since, and I've found the partial easing of that pressure that came from understanding my disorder incredibly liberating. My daughter's the same, and still hasn't acquired enough control to stop herself lashing out viciously, but we're able to talk about it now in the knowledge that we both understand how it feels, and she's gradually learning to manage the extremes a bit better. That's just like me. My mother was like that, in fact quite selfish (gone now) and I've been discussing with my dad whether it's him or her who passed the ADHD gene to me. I wonder whether ADHD people attract people like that (assuming my dad has the gene.. then again I think too much ) My temper can rise to a peak of fury involving swearing and abuse then settle back down to normal within seconds. It has confused me and friends over the years and I have lost really good friends as a result. Often it's my imagination which sets it off and i often control it with people around if I spot it coming in time.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jun 3, 2012 17:28:03 GMT
My mother is my ADHD gene donor - massively inattentive. She and her mother (who I believe also had combined ADHD) both had over-active imaginations. Like them, I I over-think, jump to conclusions, often fear the worst etc, but not as habitually as they did, and never with quite their degree of pessimistic creativity.
My mother's use of violence as a discipline measure was learned behaviour from her grandmother, who looked after for her early years, and her impatience, intolerance and volatile temper, all of which I've inherited from her, made for a dangerous mix.
I'm not sure why I haven't simply carried the behaviour on - I know I've lost it a very few times, and hit my daughter with a sharp smack because I was seeing red and couldn't stop myself. But I've never, ever, lost it and just kept going, the way she did. I don't know why not. I know I have it in me, and it frightens me even to feel that side of my character bursting at the seams of my mind when I'm enraged. I wish I understood what has made the difference.
|
|
|
Post by cdsinuk on Jun 3, 2012 17:46:09 GMT
my days used to gradually build up as the more contact with the outside world i had the worse it got, so by tea time after being cut up in traffic on the way to work, got bored with mundane jos at work , shouted at by the boss for not hearing instructions , meesed up what i was doing due to inattention , rowed with my missus over something stupid, shouted at the tv over the state of the country , and dreaded having to do it all again the next day, at night i would smoke pot, it was the only thing i could use to relax me, and helped a great deal with apetite also, now im medicated i dont need it anymore which is good, but this is misunderstood as drug addiction and not self medication, if i was sat with fifteen mates in a circle on the floor listening to reggae music , smoking all day long for pleasure then yes im a junkie, but it was never like that at all, i didnt even like it much, it just eased everything i never smoked at work or in the daytime , it was a private thing i did on my own , and alowed me to sleep and eat and frankley not smash the house up or hurt anyone out of frustration but my ADHD is severe, , so was it bad or not? i dont know, but you do what you have to to get through the day,
|
|
|
Post by poppy on Jun 7, 2012 11:08:39 GMT
My temper is terrible - only occasionally though. I'll be as sweet as pie one second and then next be calling my poor boyfriend a f***ing d**k or something similar/worse. It's always gone almost as quickly as it comes, but it makes me feel awful! I went through a bad period when I was really depressed where I was smashing things and throwing stuff, but thankfully don't do that any more. It makes you feel like a monster though! Definitely like Hulking out.
|
|
Lame44
Member posts quite a bit
Posts: 207
|
Post by Lame44 on Jun 7, 2012 21:57:57 GMT
Massive temper and anger problems here but only usually with people I feel ok with, like my poor gf. I don't hit her, or anyone for that matter but I do actually hit myself, bite myself, scratch and punch myself when I get so angry because I don't understand thing's. I don't think it's irrational with me, I just get so angry and 'frustrated' is the word I'm looking for, with myself for not understandingt hings or being thick. I like to know how things work and why etc and if I can't get my head round it, them I'm thick is what I think and I take it out on myself physically and shout n scream at my gf if we have a row.
I also get angry and stressed from holding things in, things being tics, if I'm around other people all day and I have to hold everything inside me with every bit of energy and strength I have then I get very stressed and it makes me feel very sick, ill, in pain, dizzy etc and I get snappy and then when I get home I can sometimes explode. Other times I get my gf to help me into a small dark place and sit and shut down for a while, sounds dumb, but that helps and is a new thing I'm trying to help calm me down n chill me out. Quite good actually but that's another story.
|
|
gilligan5323
Member's not posted much yet
Beautiful day on the East Coast
Posts: 2
|
Post by gilligan5323 on Jul 31, 2014 13:14:06 GMT
Does anyone else experience really intense bouts of irritability and anger (often irrational)? I find it especially strong in the mornings, and has got to the point where the slightest thing winds me up and I even sometimes actually kick things - boxes, the sofa etc - out of frustration/rage. I get really snappy, impatient and sarcastic with people too, and then feel really guilty afterwards. I feel that it is almost unbearable to be around people - which is very problematic, being that I work in retail management, so have both customers and staff to contend with, and rarely a moment's peace or solitude. It's really getting me down - does anyone have any similar experiences or advice? (For reference, I am not yet diagnosed - still waiting for my assessment with consultant psych - and so unmedicated.)
|
|
gilligan5323
Member's not posted much yet
Beautiful day on the East Coast
Posts: 2
|
Post by gilligan5323 on Jul 31, 2014 13:20:11 GMT
I have had a history of internalizing anger. Lately it has been manifesting outward. Not liking that. Gets me in trouble. The good Doc told me that anger = hurt+fear+frustration. Made so much sense to me.
|
|
|
Post by grumpy on Jul 31, 2014 17:43:22 GMT
Yes my temper is crazy and I have gone over the top in the past mostly on objects around me. But also got into fights when really it did not need to go that far.
I also noticed when I had my kids my other half said my temper has to stop ! ( never touch my other half ) but in general was a time bomb as she used to call me.
But I found holding things in really was the start box my anxiety problems I was better temper but I would get anxiety more and more
But my nick name went down from the ticking time bomb to just grumpy by my other half so maybe that was a good sign ?
It was only this morning I was in grumpy mode when I first got up and the other half noticed it as did I but its not as bad as I take meds and It clears.
I think a lot of anxiety in ADHD adults is due to the skills they never learnt when young and as when you become an adult you no its not right and the only thing you can do is try and hold it in that then turns to anxiety.
Very common story it seems
|
|
surprised
Member's not posted much yet
Yes, a custom title. The only one.
custom title?
Posts: 47
|
Post by surprised on Jul 31, 2014 21:53:57 GMT
Yes yes yes. God the anger/temper! Has got me suspended from work so i know exactly where u r coming from. Unfortunately i cant give any advice on it as i have never found a way of dealing with it :-(((
|
|
|
Post by resprayedmonger on Jul 31, 2014 23:18:04 GMT
Yes this is all too familiar to me . At one point in my life i actually thought i was possessed because the devastation i caused was unbelievable. I have looked for help so much but no one wants to talk about ADHD , instead they ask if i exercise enough ; give relaxation advice. I believe it is frustration with myself...there seems to be no satisfying outlet and no one to talk to. The popular view of people with ADHD is that they need to grow up. In fact i recently had the mother of meltdowns and put myself into ward 2 Bootham park hospital in York.I only stayed for one week but had 2 assessments while i was there by 6 senior doctors who got their notes from the staff who were only observing us. I was told that my ADHD diagnoses was probably wrong and that i probably had a personality disorder with narsistic traits. In a nut shell i was told to grow up and toe the line....This is truely how it was...oh and being sexually abused as a child and attachment theory was the reason for my rages. I have not been sexually abused. So,brothers and sisters if you live around York and you are an adult diagnosed with ADHD as an adult there is not one jot of understanding or help to be had.
|
|
|
Post by carly31 on Aug 4, 2014 20:36:17 GMT
Yep, I've got a bad temper. Loud music and punch the hell out of my pillow otherwise I take it out on people or it builds up. I think it's normal levels of anger, ie there's nothing wrong, it's just that we have difficulty regulating it coz of impulsivity?
|
|
lfb2009
Member's not posted much yet
Posts: 10
|
Post by lfb2009 on Aug 4, 2014 21:32:27 GMT
Yeah anger and annoyance issues here big time as well. It's worse when i realize most people around me don't seem to get annoyed or angry as easily as i do.
My problem is i internalize issues as i don;t like confrontation but the problem with that is it builds up until one little thing set's you off then blow! And as it will always be something relatively insignificant that will finally push you over the edge you'll end up looking like an over emotional drama queen!
Anyway in dissipating said feelings i have smashed 3 phones 2 laptops and almost a TV but luckily at that time is was one of the old CRT's so took quite a beating, dust pan and brush, glass, clay flower pot and only came out with a scratched screen! These new LCD/Plasma's will probably break from a dirty look!
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Aug 4, 2014 21:51:13 GMT
Yep, I've got a bad temper. Loud music and punch the hell out of my pillow otherwise I take it out on people or it builds up. I think it's normal levels of anger, ie there's nothing wrong, it's just that we have difficulty regulating it coz of impulsivity? It's pretty much a description of how ADHD works - normal core thoughts/emotions but with an overwhelmed filter/processing system.
|
|
|
Post by fuzzywuzzy on Aug 4, 2014 23:14:07 GMT
In fact i recently had the mother of meltdowns and put myself into ward 2 Bootham park hospital in York.I only stayed for one week but had 2 assessments while i was there by 6 senior doctors who got their notes from the staff who were only observing us. I was told that my ADHD diagnoses was probably wrong and that i probably had a personality disorder with narsistic traits. In a nut shell i was told to grow up and toe the line....This is truely how it was...oh and being sexually abused as a child and attachment theory was the reason for my rages. I have not been sexually abused. So,brothers and sisters if you live around York and you are an adult diagnosed with ADHD as an adult there is not one jot of understanding or help to be had. Just wanted to say so sorry for you that you had to go through that Utter disgrace
|
|
unohoncho
Member's posted somewhat
Inattentive Clown waiting for an ECG and blood tests
Posts: 70
|
Post by unohoncho on Aug 5, 2014 20:39:11 GMT
Kicked the shit out of one of me Mum's plants in the garden earlier, all because I couldn't find me wallet :-(
|
|