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Post by cdsinuk on Jun 4, 2012 9:30:52 GMT
since my recent diagnosis i have been reflecting on my past digraceful treatment by my doctors and mental health teams, i have no medical care at all, i am too afraid to go to my doctor, i cant trust to register with another doctor, although the meds help with focus i just feel dreadful inside, i am fighting battles to get treatment from the NHS via a complaint to the GMC i am fighting with the job center just to get some money as i was cut off over a year and a half ago, and i have been seeking legal advice to try and get some kind of compensation, but i have no help, no advocate , and am left getting confused as to what to do, i feel like i have enough and have no where to turn , i dont feel i can continue this battle any longer, i am scared im going to just end it all , it seems the only solution , theres nothing left to save really im 51 and messed up my life , messed up my relationship, i am cared for with food and a roof over my head but havent been touched in 3 years , its a bizarre relationship , loving but not, she cares but doesnt want to come near me, im trapped in frustration about every aspect of my life, i want to shout for help, but there is no help, i cant continue like this , it feels inhuman
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Post by Deleted on Jun 4, 2012 11:37:48 GMT
My god it's like hearing about my life that someone else is living:(
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Post by Deleted on Jun 4, 2012 16:14:44 GMT
You are where I was in June 2010, except I had a child, which just increased my feelings of being trapped - I couldn't bear my life, but couldn't work out how to make it bearabl; my relationship was empty, but I couldn't see a way out of it; and I couldn't even escape by killing myself, because of the burden of responsibility I felt towards my child. My dx started me on a path to change my life, and I'm still on it.
I'm not where I want to be, and it's still a hellish slog at times...but I'm not where I was.
Things can get better. One step at a time.
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hopeful
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Post by hopeful on Jun 5, 2012 12:38:03 GMT
I hope you are feeling a little better today.
It is hard. It is exhausting and the thought of the effort involved to change your life for the better and the risks that involves are terrifying.
Even an unhappy existence like you describe can be preferable to us than the fear of the unknown.
I have been where you are, but like Shiny I have a child and my obligation to her, to raise her and protect her have forced me to make changes.
It can be done though. It is never too late. Little changes one day at a time.
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Post by cdsinuk on Jun 7, 2012 3:11:09 GMT
not feeling much better, im so stressed out and it making all the good work dissapear, cant believe ive gone from so positive 2 months ago to feeling this angry and despairing, spent the whole day trying to get 1 doctor to look at my throat, no one wants to register me as a new patient, this health service here is unbelieveable, even got pct to speak to one practice, but the doctor still turned round and said no, all claiming out of catchment area, going to A and E in the morning, this treatment is criminal...no wonder people lose it and run a muck , im close to it now ...good job i have no access to firearms...i felt so much better on the meds at first now i am not so sure, feels like circumstances are destroying any benefits i was feeling from taking the meds, ive proved the doctors wrong about my life long diagnosis and now im reaping the consequences, should i have bothered, whats the point of feeling normal if it means you just end up getting denied treatment anywhere, my whole life is catch 22,
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Post by odat on Jun 7, 2012 5:54:20 GMT
When you go to A&E, please make sure you tell them how you are feeling mentally as well as physically. You need some help and there's nothing wrong with admitting that. Look after yourself.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 7, 2012 6:20:06 GMT
not feeling much better, im so stressed out and it making all the good work dissapear, cant believe ive gone from so positive 2 months ago to feeling this angry and despairing, spent the whole day trying to get 1 doctor to look at my throat, no one wants to register me as a new patient, this health service here is unbelieveable, even got pct to speak to one practice, but the doctor still turned round and said no, all claiming out of catchment area, going to A and E in the morning, this treatment is criminal...no wonder people lose it and run a muck , im close to it now ...good job i have no access to firearms...i felt so much better on the meds at first now i am not so sure, feels like circumstances are destroying any benefits i was feeling from taking the meds, ive proved the doctors wrong about my life long diagnosis and now im reaping the consequences, should i have bothered, whats the point of feeling normal if it means you just end up getting denied treatment anywhere, my whole life is catch 22, You may need to get your MP involved in all of this - tends to be a good unblocker. Even threatening to do it can sometimes help. Tell us more about the med issues - are they no longer as effective/stress impairing effectiveness, or are you questioning whether any dx/treatment benefit was worth all this other grief?
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hopeful
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Post by hopeful on Jun 7, 2012 7:50:10 GMT
Does your area have a walk in centre?
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Post by cdsinuk on Jun 7, 2012 14:12:44 GMT
my doctors are not even responding to my specialist for patient records, hence complaint to GMC, been to walk in center 6 months ago, referred back to my doctor for treatment even though i explained the situation, the meds were absolutly fantasic, they stopped the racing thoughts which were very extreme, and i had a month of peace and calm i had never experienced, but in the evening the meds were wearing off, 2 x 18mg concerta, specialist gave me ritalin in 5 mgs, he suggested i take it in the evening and morning to cover the periods when concerta getting ineffective, took 2 x 5mg that night had terrible headache, i mean the worst i have experienced in my life, my blood felt like it was ten times pressure running through my viens, and i could hear and feel blood in my head pumping, i could hardly get down stairs to get painkillers, i havent felt right since, i was to believe my doctor should at least be checking blood pressure etc but nothing, however i am fighting for my care via GMC complaints, i am not getting any benefits due to being cut off last year by my doctor for refusing any more antidepressants and couldnt attened a complex needs group they had put me on as they didnt know what to do with me, , my anxiety was so high i had panic attacks, what i needed was urgent referral, and medication but nothing , but he wouldnt listen, and him not believing the research i had done on adhd and also refusing to let me be re assessed, i changed doctors explained what had happened at the last practice and within ten minutes we were shouting at each other because he wouldnt believe me either, i was hastilly sent to see a eastern european pshyc i couldnt even understand her questions her accent was so bad, who again wouldnt give me medication to help extreme symptoms, stellazine i was given in 1994, helped a little, but refused by my prevoious doctors also, so i walked out, i was there for ten minutes and after that i was declared no mental illness, my partner recieved a phone call saying i was discharged from all services, i had to the sell just about everthing i owned to get a private psych to assess and diagnose me, the meds worked in 1 hour , the NHS and doctors hadnt had success in 25 years, so i am under enormous stress right now, and i think its over riding the meds, but cant get any medical help, till the 15th and after all other doctors surgerys refusing to take me on have been forced to go back to my gp, well i know whats going to happen there, its a disgrace, but i need to keep it together for the cases coming up with gmc and solicitors to try and get compensation for the way i have been treated, and no income at all and the pressures thats causing, it just goes on and on, man o man.....
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Post by Deleted on Jun 13, 2012 19:41:23 GMT
cdsinuk, the thing with your GP problem is: it's normal that they don't understand you. Don't feel too bad about it. It's a sad reality of it. Compared to some other countries, it's still much better in UK, at least you have support groups that are really helpful. I had to prove myself to my PRIVATE psychiatrist who specializes in ADHD, and it required a real fucking effort on my part, because I don't care how good the psych is, unless he's a damn Barkley — he doesn't understand my ADHD as much as I do, he won't understand your ADHD too. So it doesn't mean that my psych is bad. Not at all. The thing is that ADHD is a fucking complex disorder (I hope, by the way, that I can use f* words here, because, in my opinion, it should be allowed on this forum.) One has to have the same ADHD to get it. There's nothing surprising in the fact that you're having trouble with regular doctors.
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Post by cdsinuk on Jun 14, 2012 15:25:29 GMT
no worries about the language, its a pre requisite for ADHD it a symptom of the bullshit we have to put up with in life, well went back and saw another doctor at the same surgery, today, he has now aggreed to send me to a psychiatrist for re assessment given my harley street specialists pre diagnosis and the fact im already on concerta, , he has said if the psych aggrees he will happily give me Concerta on the NHS and take over my prescriptions, not sure if thats a spontanious response or the fact i have reported his collegues to the GMC , but i am being optomistic its not negative thinking that in itself should indicate i am so much better on the medication given my 25 year self destructive behaviour , so it should be around two weeks before i get my refferall and we will see after that, watch this space...
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Post by cdsinuk on Jun 18, 2012 19:43:39 GMT
i guess youve all seen my GMC complaint reply, wanted to post the letter but not sure i can ? being forced to take a job that is totally innapropriate, i know nothing of the company apart from interview stuff, nothing about the products, and nothing about the company procedures, went for interview explained about ADHD and how it has effected me, seemed the boss had really listened, had to gi in and do a days work on machines for a process trial of my capabilities, , ive worked in plastics on and off , so i passed with flying colours, offered me a job at a much lower rate than anybody else would get, i mean by about £6 an hour less !!! as a trial period, then he tells me he is going away for the week, and he expects his technician whos working his notice to do a runner whilst the boss is away on his hols, and he expects the staff that are left there to ring me up to come in and run all the machines and do tool changes and all the other stuff, either I or him are mad? not sure which, im wondering at what point im going to crack up? i give myself about 4 hour's....ill let you know!!!
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Post by cdsinuk on Jun 18, 2012 19:49:59 GMT
as far as getting MP involved, contacted Theresa May 's office, told by secretary not my MP, just the wrong area, must have had my bad map glasses on opppppps lol, so the secretary very kindly sent my concerns over to my actual MP, Dominic Grieve, well he had the email from Teresa May's secretary, had no reply, so sent one directly to him, still no reply, glad im not urgently having trouble with anything eh!!,
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