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Post by jammygoddess on Aug 12, 2012 2:44:03 GMT
Hi Everyone I love this forum and have been having a very interesting and illuminating time reading about your experiences...like so many of you, much of what I've read has resonated with me, but, for me anyway, I don't see ADHD as a curse but more as a blessing. It has blessed me with creativity, quirkiness, humour, silliness and empathy. Yes, I haven't always travelled the easiest or safest of paths, but I have had adventures, met fascinating people, been true to myself (most of the time!) and have wonderful people around me who love and support me. I won't pretend it's been rosy all of the time, because it has not! I was expelled from my Grammar School at 13, kicked off a kibbutz at 18, a junkie at 23, in prison by 25.... I have had many, many jobs...been sacked at least 20 times...made catastrophic choices where men were concerned, taken risk after risk emotionally, sexually, physically and financially...rejected wonderful life-changing opportunities (through procrastination) and in the last 6 months spunked £10.000, and I don't know what on!!! BUT.... I have managed to maintain a relationship for the last 2 years...held down a job for the last 6yrs, bring up 2 teenage sons, I kicked heroin and coke 25yrs ago, and I have just started a womens support group. I also write poetry. I was only diagnosed with ADHD a year ago, after 3yrs of determined struggle, and only started meds 5 days ago. Its all part of the journey...I truly believe I have ADHD so that I can help other people, and that's a massive part of my life purpose. Thanks for reading this far, and I hope all of you come to experience yourselves as the wonderful non-conformists who shake this world up and make it better place! Rebels Unite!!!
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Post by Notlonelyinacrowdnow on Aug 12, 2012 7:10:53 GMT
Wow welcome to the forum xxx
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Post by jammygoddess on Aug 12, 2012 12:45:41 GMT
Hallo and thanks for your welcome...I look forward to exchanging ideas, and to helping and empowering others, so that they come to realise how much they have to offer society xxxx
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Post by Deleted on Aug 12, 2012 18:04:46 GMT
Keepin' busy, then, eh? Hiya!
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Post by cdsinuk on Aug 14, 2012 0:20:26 GMT
i wish that were true , but not many people would say ADHD got me a job, made me a great artist, or saved the world, the sad thing is this condition is mostly a disaster for people, those talents you speak of i doubt have anything to do with ADHD, thats just you, natural talents, i have read celebrities claiming ADHD made me famous or made me a genious, the truth is it just doesnt, its a matter of severity and how it affects the individual i would summise, im not trying to put a downer on you, just from what i have read and seen ADHD is not a very user friendly condition, and to be honest look at your journey here ... and you still think its a blessing, no offence meant, im not taking anything away, im sure you have had a bad time of things, we do , but a blessing it certainly is not, again just an opinion, sorry if it offends,
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Post by Deleted on Aug 14, 2012 12:51:49 GMT
Not sure. My directness; my ability to make the weirdest connections because I don't approach information in a linear way; my ability to make rapid judgments based on information others would feel was insufficient (I know when I don't know enough, rather than first needing to upload everything available); my resistance to operating in a programmed, procedure-bound, formulaic way; the fact that the adrenaline that sends others into a panic in a stress situation is often just enough to settle and focus me, so that I perform best in a crisis - these have often served me well.
They're double-edged swords, sure, but I'm older and more experienced, now, so I trip up less often on the basics (although yes, I do still trip up). But even allowing for the bog-ups, my 'good days', when my ADHD-driven 'talents' have worked in my favour (I've grown up having to get good at making calculated risks) - they've set me apart from the herd.
I've had enough positive 'you're not like the usual [regulator/ consultant/ compliance officer] to give me a name for being refreshingly different and interesting, and that has opened doors for me.
Sadly, my ADHD-driven cock-uppery has also closed doors (I was blackballed by one large organisation because i rubbed up one key individual the wrong way)... ...but on balance, I reckon my quirks have given me the edge where my brains and other skills were probably no more than what was expected of anyone in the herd...
But as I say regularly here, I've been incredibly lucky. It may be that all the ADHD entrepreneurs have been, too. Anyone read Alan Sugar's biography? He found it hard to concentrate at school...
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Post by cdsinuk on Aug 14, 2012 13:26:10 GMT
i just feel that most people with adhd who are successful have had a more privaledged up bringing, i know people like Alan Sugar started from nothing and many more, so im trying not to generalise, but most of us that have struggled in life never had mum give them £500 quid to get started, or grandad dying and leaving the a few grand, etc, and of course most of us adults were never even diagnosed, i just dont find it easy to be positive about something that has caused so much distress, i take nothing away from people like Jammygoddess, she is positive and as you state Jammy you have had a lot of support, but i think this is not the norm for most people, and like i have said before the prisons are full of ADHDers who never got help and support, as are the grave yards, i feel it just is not something i feel positive about, and i take nothing away from Jammygoddess, im happy she is positive about ADHD, and hope she can help some people as she wishes, , so as i said please dont take offence, but i guess i maybe need a break, im far too down on life at the moment,
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Post by jammygoddess on Aug 15, 2012 1:59:46 GMT
Life really is a journey, and how we see and deal with it is our choice...I could choose to define myself solely by my ADHD, but why would I? My particular talents may or may not be anything to do with ADHD, but I suspect some of them are. Having said that, I believe that everyone has talents, its just that some never find out what theirs are. We limit ourselves by our self -beliefs, and often these beliefs are based on other peoples opinions, and a misguided idea that if we didnt have ADHD our lives would be wonderful. I am not trying to diminish or negate the negative impact of living with certain conditions, but we either learn coping strategies, and deal with it, or we run the risk of sinking into a pit of despair, and drowning. I am not offended by any of your comments, they are your opinions, some of which I share, but I refuse to see only the dark side..I have lived in the dark, and now I choose to live in the light. We are the authors of our own life story, and each day is a fresh new page...what really helps me is that I choose to be grateful for what I have, rather than dwelling on what I don't have, and that helps me immensely. What also makes me happy is the fact that my having ADHD means I can identify and help so many of the children at my school (I am a Teachers Assistant), getting them the support they need and also to see the positives, and for them to feel that someone really understands them. Helping to uplift others is key to a more fulfilled existence, and in the process we uplift ourselves. As for luck, I don't believe in luck, we create our own opportunities.....hope I haven't offended anyone, but it wouldn't be the first time!
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Post by cdsinuk on Aug 16, 2012 8:52:33 GMT
hi Jammy, its not so much the ADHD, its the fact that the medication i breifly had access to is no longer available due to having to get NHS diagnosis, i am pxxxxd off because i have seen the differences with myself on and off the medication and it is profound, i have been fighting this battle with the powers that be for 3 years straight and getting nowhere for stupid reasons, most of them ignorance, im 51 years old, and to be honest my life has been a mess, but the stress of trying to get something that could make the last years of my life workable and bareable is getting too much, most of my cynisism has come from reading other peoples accounts and struggles and finding out that so many are suffering the same and this is alowed to happen by people that apparently do not have mental health issues, ie NHS specialists etc, as i said i have a lot of things they do not, one of the most important is comapassion for others, but i also have a lot of anger for those treating us, or should i say not treating us, i havent been able to stay in work, or have parents/ relations that can help, i cant even afford the meds to help me, so i guess there lies my bitterness towards happy ADHDers, again like i said no offence to you, and i mean it, but i cant be happy about this condition in fact it is worse today than it has been in years before, simply because i never knew i could get the help with medication, so many years being told you are depressed etc and never moving forward, and the runaround by people adding to your health records who have no clue, and worse no ablility to make a diagnosis, it just seem me and you live in different worlds at the moment, i hope one day i can come on this forum and be happy and positive as you are about it, i know you have had the stuggle too, so i appologise for my jelousy/disbelief what ever emotion it is, that you are here at this point , but most of us are not, i guess i get upset at people and i guess a lot have been celebrities that have said ADHD is a gift, im talented because of my ADHD, im a genious because of ADHD, to be honest ive not seen much evidence of that, i guess what i should be doing is getting off this forum, i think i just need to stop fighting and get back to my life, i know far too much about it now, which is making my life worse,
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Post by cleverliteral on Aug 16, 2012 16:06:41 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 16, 2012 22:42:47 GMT
Give it a rest with the jibes about 'moderate' ADHD. Everyone with ADHD knows it's hard to deal with.
I resent the insinuation that just because I don't wander around in here continually whinging about how badly my ADHD has fucked up my life, I don't have 'proper' ADHD. Fuck right off, and learn some humility, you whiny little twerp!
There are plenty people here who spend their time simply trying to help you and others that they see in pain, because they know only too well, from first-hand experience, just how devastating an effect ADHD can have on lives - and yet those people (for whom I have immense respect) don't seem to feel the need to validate themselves by implying they are somehow better because they had it worse. Why is that, do you think?
Maybe I can start a NEW theory - that the people who squawk loudest about how hard it is are the ones who feel most insecure about their dx! How would that work for you?? Does it sound as 'valid' as yours, yet?
Stop trying to make yourself feel special with this shit, and start working out what you need to do about your problems.
And yes. This is a thoughtless and probably ill-judged ADHD outburst. I've been told off for them here before. But I never learn, I guess - I have ADHD.
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Post by cleverliteral on Aug 17, 2012 0:03:49 GMT
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Post by jammygoddess on Aug 17, 2012 3:28:56 GMT
Cdsinuk, I feel for you and hope you get to a better place in life...as I said, I never intended to minimise the real life effects of living with ADHD...I am just giving my perspective! When I complain constantly about anything or everything in my life, it never gets any better. Equally, when I am grateful for the things that most of us take for granted, ie my legs that carry me wherever I want to go, my eyes that see beauty and wonder, my brain (however addled it can sometimes be) that processes information, my heart that keeps me alive, the autumn trees that shower me with leaves, the flowers that bless me with their uplifting colours, the wondrous sky above me, etc etc, then more and more opportunities for gratitude come into my life. So my life experiences get better and better. Try it...every day write down 5 things that you are grateful for..I guarantee your life will get better. As for clever literal, thanks for your input...You don't know me yet you imply that I must have moderate ADHD!!! Well, that would be a first, as I've never been moderate about anything in my life!!! So I must be super-talented (which you think is unlikely), so thank you for your amazingly accurate insight, I am truly grateful for that as well because it made me laugh!! And you, oohshiny....don't hold back next time ! Btw, you made some brilliant observations xxxx
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Post by jammygoddess on Aug 17, 2012 5:00:44 GMT
cleverliteral, wtf do you think you're doing, tweeting about my disclosures on this forum (with link!) and taking the piss?! Just because you're sad, why do you try to spread the sadness around?! Does it make you feel better? As sarcasm seems to be your forte, am I right in assuming your name, cleverliteral, really means you are stupid?! Next time you want to put me down, do it here on this forum. I love a good scrap...so bring it on.....
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Post by Deleted on Aug 17, 2012 9:44:04 GMT
Having a positive attitude is a treatment in itself - you get into a virtuous circle of dopamine production (the reward for doing well) which is as good as taking low dose medication.
The 'woe is me, look at my bad case' creatures are digging their own grave by doing the reverse - it's helpful to get the bad things out of your system by venting but after that it's all negative reinforcement >reduced background dopamine - all of which gets in the way of non medical treatments eg CBT for ADHD (not the other crap) and other 'talking' treatments which need a positive jumping off point.
So I look for good things in my life and try to minimise the negative, not even think about them.
Which means that the ADHD in my life brings a certain amount of joy - I have a fine old time being ADHD, it's made me me and I quite like me.
I'd love the negative aspects, that drove me to treatment, to GO AWAY but if I can find a way to almost ignore them then I'm doing well.
I treat myself - the meds help but the rest of it is down to me; I can be a basket case if I don't remember to keep on top of myself - so I'm trying hard not to allow the negative to win.
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Post by jammygoddess on Aug 17, 2012 12:05:18 GMT
Thanks, Dave! Your comments are so relevant and so true! I am so happy to be alive, and other peoples happiness or unhappiness is their business...but I don't really appreciate cleverliteral taking the piss out of me on twitter, using my life experiences which I chose to share, and putting a link to this forum! My name is on my twitter account, along with my jammygoddess name...he is a very sad, embittered man who will never get any better until he starts giving love, most of all to himself! He can challenge me all he likes on this forum, and I will happily and enthusiastically enter the fray! I share a quote I read today...I don't have time to hate people who hate me, because I'm too busy loving people who love me. Xxxxx
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Post by cleverliteral on Aug 17, 2012 14:05:21 GMT
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Post by jammygoddess on Aug 17, 2012 15:39:54 GMT
Wow! You really are so unhappy, aren't you? Spreading sadness is your normal state...but the more you spread, the more you feel dead ...inside. My drug problems and prison experiences are for me to share, not for you to share on Twitter!! So however you may like to justify it, you are out of order. I have read some of your posts and there's a recurrent theme, you full of negativity and sel-pity...that's really going to help you. If you don't like being judged, don't judge others. And if you want more love in your life, which I think you do, then be more loving to others. My ADHD does not make me bitter, yours does. My life, with all it's ups and downs, is one of positivity (of course I have bad days too) because I choose to be positive. Why not try it? My life is full of magic and fun and wonder .... Because that's what I choose! Take responsibility for your unhappiness .
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Post by cleverliteral on Aug 17, 2012 17:30:48 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 18, 2012 8:44:39 GMT
Cleverliteral, do not presume to tell me what I think.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 18, 2012 18:11:44 GMT
jammygoddess, oh, I'm tweeting a link to public disclosures, how awful, compared to your heroin, coke and imprisonment. Does it sound like I'm spreading sadness now? :-) Barkley seems to be spreading a lot of it throughout his career. Only sadness and disorder, sadness and disorder. :-) By the way, like you've said, I'm being true to myself. And if you want to find some of my disclosures, you can read my blog. What oooshiny wrote is very cool. Even if it's directed at me, the most important that least those raw emotions are being expressed. :-) On the other hand... it's not so cool, because really it shouldn't be directed at me. It should be directed at people who spread misinformation about ADHD, yet when it happens, nobody says anything. That's what oooshiny is most angry about, I think. I think it WAS directed at a person spreading misinformation about ADHD. Can't you just change the record once in a while? It's either Barkley this, my ADHD is the most severe that, or just presuming that everyone with ADHD thinks the same as you do. I think your tweet about jammygoddess was so out of order. I would rather have lived some kind of life and learned from my mistakes, than be some sad, bitter cunt, judging everyone that seems to be coping in their own way, because my own life was so worthless. Though saying that, this is your coping mechanism isn't it? It doesn't have to be like that though. You say on this forum how lonely you are. Do you wonder why? You need to learn that your way is not the only way if you don't want to be lonely all your life. This is a support forum, and this is the best I can offer at the moment, as I am really mad at what you have done. It is not easy to be open about the dark areas of our past, especially when ridiculed by somebody like yourself on twitter as a result. John
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Post by jammygoddess on Aug 18, 2012 22:05:00 GMT
Thank you jonboy, I really appreciate your post .... And I really hope that cleverliteral will look at himself (as I have learnt to do) and realize that there are other, more beneficial ways to deal with whatever life throws our way. Peace to everyone, especially cleverliteral!
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Post by Deleted on Aug 19, 2012 13:02:03 GMT
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Post by jammygoddess on Aug 19, 2012 23:28:36 GMT
Funny!!!!
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Post by jammygoddess on Aug 30, 2012 0:18:23 GMT
He (that misery guts) still hasn't removed his twitter link to this forum, even though I told him twice ! Not angry any more, just a little disappointed... But, hey... It's not the end of my world.....
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Post by Deleted on Aug 30, 2012 1:27:38 GMT
See if a mod will put the thread into a section that only registered members can see. It obviously won't stop persistent people seeing it, but will stop casual clickers. I wouldn't have thought he has many followers on twitter anyway.
John
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Post by Deleted on Aug 30, 2012 8:47:21 GMT
Such a good idea that I've made it happen.
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Post by jammygoddess on Aug 30, 2012 19:23:34 GMT
Thanks for that, and yes, I'm sure he doesn't have many followers!
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Post by claudhopper on Aug 31, 2012 14:27:18 GMT
If it wasn't for the procrastination, forgetfulness, poor organisation, crap time management, social awkwardness, shite memory, impulsiveness and dropping things before they're finished I'd say I feel sorry for the non-ADHDers.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 31, 2012 20:42:01 GMT
It's been nice to read the positive comments about ADHD, I'm having a hard time just now so it lifted my spirits, thank you :-)
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