sirci
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Posts: 23
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Post by sirci on Jan 18, 2013 21:14:06 GMT
I was diagnosed only yesterday with adhd. But the psychiatrist will not prescribe my meds without my school reports which confirm my lack of attention and "laziness" hyperness, not sitting down in class etc. anyway that's all fine I can understand that but my problem is my mum.
She is a psychotherapist that does not believe her daughter has adhd even though the speech she gave at my wedding described in depth my hyperactivity in childhood and the difficulty with my homework etc she basically confirmed my adhd on video.
Unfortunately she has "lost" my school reports which she showed me only a few months ago.
She called me yesterday before my appointment telling me I was being silly to think I had adhd (even though I was sent for assessment when I was 9 after my teacher had had enough and demanded I get tested)
She is very negative about it all and now I am afraid to tell her that the psychiatrist has confirmed it.
Hs anyone else experienced this.
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Post by mizmog on Jan 18, 2013 21:27:13 GMT
Yes definitely... My mother is exactly the same and she too 'lost' all my school records dismissing it all!
However, as I was put straight into meds anyway and i figured they either completely get me or I am more severely ADHD than even I thought! Lol
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sirci
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Post by sirci on Jan 18, 2013 21:54:16 GMT
So not just me Lol hopefully cos they got you
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Post by claudhopper on Jan 24, 2013 16:44:46 GMT
I guess your mum doesn't believe that ADHD is a real condition?
It bugs me that I saw a few psychotherapists about the difficulties I was having and they all thought they could help me and couldn't. They didn't know I had ADHD and neither did I. Does your mum think she can 'cure' ADHD?
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Post by jan on Jan 25, 2013 8:51:11 GMT
sirci did you get the p.m. i sent you the other day?
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damonk
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Post by damonk on Jan 25, 2013 22:48:09 GMT
Hold on! There's a very simple explanation for this reaction, it's not nice and it's not edifying, it's plain old fashoined guilt. That's not to say it's your Mum's fault or yours either, but it's very common especially with psychological problems and diseases. In my family, a cousin who developed bi-polar recently asked their immediate family for any relevant family history of the condition. My Uncle, who was married to his grandmother, who recently died, responded that he knew nothing relevant to tell them. The problem here is that my Aunt/his grandmother had bi-polar for well over 40 years, as she declined with dementia over the last ten years, my Uncle, his Grandfather, was very much her caregiver and in charge of any and all medications, including her lithium. I hear from my Uncle, his Grandfather, that "they're trying to blame her for the boy's condition". This is of course nonsense, but rest assured, so much of what passes to and fro in families is. He feels defensive and that denial removes any blame or responsibilty that he percieves as being apportioned by the younger, affected generation. It just causes ill feeling and heartache, but it appears this is, to them, preferable to a negativity/attack they feel may be coming their way. It's upsetting for you and my saying not to take it personally, will come as little consolation I'm sure. Try to forget this, as well as the blinkers your Mum has about it. The truth is, it's quite a compliment, she sees you as her untainted, perfect girl, whilst your assessment is hopefully less emotionally involved. You can explain this to whomever is asking for the extra input, as far as the detail is concerned, it's now you're having the problem, not the dim distant past, so I find it difficult to believe it's a dealbreaker. I've not been diagnosed as yet, but having brooded on it over Christmas and finally getting round to voicing my concerns, my mum read through the Adult ADHD information sheet in such a sarcastic and cold way, agreeing that so many of the symptoms applied to me, I felt like sh**, and wished I'd kept my mouth shut! Again, parents are funny creatures, but it doesn't need to put you off course. Look up Philip Larkin's poem about parents; it rather says it all. Good luck.
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sirci
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Post by sirci on Feb 8, 2013 23:53:45 GMT
Hi janev, yes I got your PM I replied, sorry I didn't realise you could PM on here. Hi claulhopper, I don't think mum thinks she can cure it I think she has trouble getting her head around the fact that her perfect daughter (spot on damonk) could have a "flaw" when I say flaw I mean that's what ADHD was perceived as when I was young so I think it's a matter of educating her about it now as apposed to the Scarry stories in the 80's of kids on ritilin. Damonk you are so right when it comes to family it is a guilt or I should say displaced guilt as ADHD is obviously not a side affect of my upbringing (which was very good) my first cousin also has it but unfortunately he followed a different path and has had a troubled life and was on ritilin from a young age, my mum saw that as another example of how "bad" ADHD is. I have now accepted that I need to help educate mum about ADHD and if she still feels the same then I'm afraid that will have to be her issue, I have ADHD I have sought help and I am on my way to a happier life as I now know I'm not stupid or crazy (like the book title) There are lots of people on here that listen and support too so you at least have the kindness of strangers to go to if you need advise. Obviously I am only newly diagnosed so if you have any questions about how it came about, why i thought i had it, first gp apt etc, I would be happy to answer them. And thank you for your reply damonk
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