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Post by mizmog on Feb 20, 2013 6:49:38 GMT
I have a dilemma ... Haven't had much to do with my family for about 8 yrs, especially my four siblings and my Mother! In fact, I've only really spoken to my Dad via text a couple of times a year although he has tried but is only able to speak to me when my Mother isn't around!!
Anyway, last week my Mother was taken seriously ill and my Dad was giving me updates. Since the weekend, I've had call after call from siblings (all of them live close by by parents and are married and hv older children) saying they can't cope with what's going on and sobbing to me... I have been asked to drop everything and go down to help my Dad as apparently he's not really coping, but I live 150 miles away with a job and a family!
Of course I'm gonna go, but it was so hard last time I saw any of them as they don't believe in ADHD or Aspergers and certainly not medication! They are all behaving like children ... One even said "your the only one that can deal with it because your so strong".
I am strong yes, but not because I've had any family to support me!
I've cme to the conclusion though, that I have such a lack of emotion that I can go back and deal with everything and even go to the hospital and see my Mother and once again, I'll hold my siblings up until they don't need me anymore! I really don't know if I'm just cross that I'm only contacted in a crises or cross with myself for not falling apart at the thought of my Mother being so ill like they are... I only seem to be worried about going across London and not getting lost/get on the wrong train/manage not to lose something/disruption of my routine....
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Post by li0nberries on Feb 20, 2013 8:05:59 GMT
GIVE YOUSELF A BREAK. There are a lot of reasons why you're going to feel differently from your siblings and you may or may not feel differently later on but for now you are doing something that not everyone would, that is really kind and selfless. Whatever your feeling or not feeling doesn't change the fact that you are a good person doing an amazing thing and later on if you want to anylize it you will have the head space to do that.
Good luck and make sure you take care of you too. xxx
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Post by Lesley on Feb 20, 2013 8:32:10 GMT
Think of it as helping your Dad, who you say has tried to keep in touch, rather than helping your siblings.
Feel good about what you're doing, not bad about what you're (not) feeling.
Make sure you are getting support, from your own family or friends.
Good luck, and take care xxx
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Post by jan on Feb 20, 2013 11:12:20 GMT
I second whats been said above and sympathise as I had similiar prob when my mum was taken ill and I think your making the right decision to go, we tend to regret the things we dont do more than the things we do do (in my experience any way). keep in touch with your friends and us lot on here wishing you peace and strength love janev x
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Post by mizmog on Feb 20, 2013 13:47:10 GMT
Thank you, they are lovely things to say, I hadn't looked at it like that really (never been known for my selflessness lol) I will keep posting whilst I'm there as no doubt I'll need somewhere to rant!
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Post by twix on Feb 20, 2013 19:16:25 GMT
How annoying to be put in that position. Take care, thinking of you. Rant away :-)
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Post by Deleted on Feb 23, 2013 21:51:08 GMT
You may not be lacking in emotion, either - many ADHDers get very calm in a crisis because of the adrenaline surge.
Good luck, Miz!
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