kreate
Member posts quite a bit
Posts: 190
|
Post by kreate on May 27, 2013 19:46:41 GMT
Fed up with parenting myself, it's like being two people and very tiring. Anyone else having problems managing finances? Don't worry I am getting help, just don't know how long it will take till its actually put in place. My concept of later doesn't seem to exist, it's all about now and convenience when I'm out, I think anxiety as well as impulsivity has as much a part to play. Thing is I don't drink often, certainly don't do drugs, smoke 5 roll ups a day, I'm not even following my hobbies and interests, so it beats me where it all goes. End of the month or now it's going to be all through the month I struggle to feed myself, then when I do have cash in my wallet, it's a coffee here, a bus, some chocolate, some cat food (not for me - yet lol) and a tenner is gone. Money goes nowhere these days... Every single day every single month it's always the same!!
|
|
|
Post by jan on May 27, 2013 20:06:15 GMT
Hiya (don't think we've spoken before) sorry your having hard time money wise my mum used to say having money doesn't make you happy but it sure makes being miserable easier! i don't drink or drug or have a social life - but i am a very heavy smoker! thats real self discipline - 5 roll ups a day - well done you i get through a 50gram pack a week but i get it cheap from a guy that goes to belgium so its not so bad. your support group sounds well organised - tell me more - might come on a day trip and pop in if i can get organised (probably doubtful ) sorry can't say more to help x
|
|
kreate
Member posts quite a bit
Posts: 190
|
Post by kreate on May 27, 2013 20:13:54 GMT
Thanks Jane :-) Yeah, I have been to the Central London group a few times but not lately, it's nice to check out other groups. Where are you based?
|
|
|
Post by jan on May 27, 2013 20:27:28 GMT
north london only been on site site since january been to central group 3 times got diagnosed last fri but familiar with it all as my daughter has add as well your group sounds more structured was it you that started it? (names jan by way janev is mix of my first and surname )
|
|
|
Post by Kathymel on May 27, 2013 20:29:00 GMT
I wish there was a support group nearer to me. I don't think there's enough people in my area to have one.
What sort of financial support/advice are you getting, Kreate?
|
|
kreate
Member posts quite a bit
Posts: 190
|
Post by kreate on May 27, 2013 20:55:48 GMT
Yes I set up the Brighton group, after getting encouragement from those in Central London. You could set one up in Wales, I know a chap that moved to Wales that used to live in Brighton, and came to our group. I could get in touch with him if you like... Advice centre's are helping me, telling me what to do, although intellectually I know what to do, but it was the referral from my neuro clinic for a money support advice worker that got the ball rolling, and they are in the process of referring me to social services. Seemed daft at first, I kept kidding myself as I knew my incoming outgoings etc, I could sort myself, but i really cannot control myself. And older chap I know with ADHD who had his own business, no problems managing the business accounts etc, but when it comes to his own finances, it's a different matter, he's soo intelligent I was surprised to hear he has a money support worker. He helped me come to terms with the fact I can't do it anymore. I was struggling to pay rent feed myself etc, and I would get really cross with myself, I couldn't understand what I was doing wrong. It has really helped knowing someone else who struggles with the same things. I keep reminding myself it could be worse my impulsivity could have led to an addiction of some sort, I know plenty of ADHDers that do, and through this experience I feel I understand them more. I see homeless people on the street and think how close it could have come for me.
|
|
|
Post by jan on May 27, 2013 21:04:49 GMT
know where your coming from - had to declare myself banckrupt - nearly 5 years ago now and forgot to put my second largest debt on the petition i would love to start a more structured group in north london , been thinking about it for ages but have had lots of other stuff going on. may well come to your next meeting - could do with a day out of london when is it again?
|
|
kreate
Member posts quite a bit
Posts: 190
|
Post by kreate on May 27, 2013 21:10:23 GMT
I'm sure there's already one in North London? Check this website... Brighton ADULT ADHD SUPPORT GROUP is every 2nd Wednesday of the month.
|
|
|
Post by jan on May 27, 2013 21:34:04 GMT
do you mean the tear and share group they do talks now and its £20 a pop been few times was informative but there's no socialising at all would like something imbetween the two you know informative but social as well. and think £20 for 2 hours over the top
|
|
kreate
Member posts quite a bit
Posts: 190
|
Post by kreate on May 27, 2013 21:35:45 GMT
No comment. ;-)
|
|
|
Post by JJ on May 28, 2013 13:15:01 GMT
Hi kreate, I used to be like this and got myself into terrible debt.
Eventually, I got 2 bank accounts, got paid into 1 and had all bills coming out of that and set up a standing order into the second one with the amount I could spend myself. I then gave my mum the cards for the first one, as well as all credit cards, so all I had access to was the second one. For a while I also gave her the card for the second one and drew out money for the week once a week - so I didn't have access to anything. I then went out and bought shopping for the week straight away. I did this for years and now have a reasonable amount of control over myself.
But I also know that my danger period is if I have to put anything on a credit card - it's potentially like opening Pandora's box and once I've bought the necessary thing, I find it hard to stop there. When I have to do this I then give my mum the card straight away.
Having said all that, I've been on my own with children for years so all the responsibility of keeping them housed, clothed etc is only mine with no safety blanket - so I think that's helped me, plus I saw my sister go bankrupt because of the same impulse control issues and also I might not have been as bad as you in this regard in the first place - so I hope my post doesn't sound like a standard 'why don't you just put things away straight away, why don't you just make a list, why don't you just wash up as you go along etc' responses by someone who doesn't actually understand the difficulties
Xx
|
|
|
Post by twix on May 29, 2013 8:46:58 GMT
I know what you mean. Stuff that helps me, I do tend to do a big shop when I get paid and get some tinned stuff and stuff that will last so I've always got something in the cupboard at the end of the month. I try to buy snacks at the supermarket and keep some in my car because its half the price of going to a cafe or a corner shop when I'm out. I keep them at work as well because I don't remember my lunch sometimes, so if I have a multipack at least I've got some food there. I always buy my dog food in 15kg bags from pets at home own brand because its really cheap and then I don't have to remember very often to get it (poor dog )
|
|
|
Post by Kathymel on May 29, 2013 9:30:03 GMT
I always buy my dog food in 15kg bags from pets at home own brand because its really cheap and then I don't have to remember very often to get it (poor dog ) I do the same, but still forget at the end of every bag. My dog ends up getting bread, noodles or pasta for a couple of days. The look on his face as we're waiting for the pasta to cool ... it's torture.
|
|
|
Post by jan on May 29, 2013 22:33:19 GMT
my dog has food allergys and has she has to have special stuff - when it was on prescription was 80 something quid for 12 kilos
then started getting same stuff different brand (wafcol and they donate certain amount from it to pdsa) from planet pet or may be pet planet 15kg for 42 quid and free delivery
now on amazon can get same stuff and if pay by dd they deliver it automatically every 2 months for free and its only 38 quid - result - and dog never goes hungry.
the joys of learning to use the computer they do this deal with quite a few brands.
|
|
|
Post by Kathymel on May 29, 2013 22:45:40 GMT
now on amazon can get same stuff and if pay by dd they deliver it automatically every 2 months for free and its only 38 quid - result - and dog never goes hungry. Could you send me the name of the supplier please, Jan? Automatic delivery sounds great. x
|
|
|
Post by jan on May 30, 2013 8:40:43 GMT
go on amazon on the pet/dog food and find the ones that say subscribe and save and you sort it all from there = happy dog ;D
|
|
|
Post by Kathymel on May 30, 2013 15:30:19 GMT
Thanks, Jan. So cheap!
|
|
|
Post by jan on Jun 6, 2013 6:14:02 GMT
Fed up with parenting myself, it's like being two people and very tiring. Anyone else having problems managing finances? Thing is I don't drink often, certainly don't do drugs, smoke 5 roll ups a day, I'm not even following my hobbies and interests, so it beats me where it all goes. End of the month or now it's going to be all through the month I struggle to feed myself, then when I do have cash in my wallet, it's a coffee here, a bus, some chocolate, some cat food (not for me - yet lol) and a tenner is gone. Money goes nowhere these days... Every single day every single month it's always the same!! hi kreate heard about this thought may be worth checking out - jack monroe - has done a blog about feeding herself (well and healthily) for £10 a week and now penguin have offered her a book deal. hope its useful - sorry don't know proper link - heard it on bbc radio5live jan xx
|
|
|
Post by jan on Jun 6, 2013 6:24:57 GMT
dont know what happened with kreate's post above? was trying to quote (here we go again!) is it me or can you not delete bits out anymore - as i deleted bits and wrote an answer but only the original post appeared on the thread.? anyway what was saying is kreate and anyone else thats skint and interested - have look at jack monroe - she has done a blog about feeding herself (well)nfor £10 a week. was so popular penguin have now offered her a book deal. hope its useful
|
|
|
Post by DKL - darkknightslover on Jun 6, 2013 20:00:59 GMT
have look at jack monroe - she has done a blog about feeding herself (well)nfor £10 a week. was so popular penguin have now offered her a book deal. hope its useful Wow!!! Will have to take a look! Amazon subscription is great. I haven't found anything I can use it on yet, but I do keep my eye out. I also do the 2 bank accounts thing. Doesn't quite work though as I like to keep my cards myself. I try to ensure that I always have a bottle of squash and some food with me (sometimes including dark chocolate as I don't need as much as milk chocolate, it's healthier and doesn't have as much sugar in it. Look for Kinnerton's dairy, gluten, egg and nut free chocolate in the free from aisle if you don't normally like dark - see photo when I can add it) to prevent me buying stuff. I do have a massive problem with little "shiney" things and keeping cash in my purse - it just burns a hole! Sent from my GT-I9000 using proboards
|
|