|
Post by cheekybuddha on Jun 11, 2013 8:29:31 GMT
Oh dear, I feel so ashamed my son who is not yet four screamed 'f***ing hell' really loud at the park yesterday when I Said no to something!! Wow I must say it without even realising! I say oh FFS sometimes but I'm gonna have to buy a big bar of soap and wash my impulsive feisty mouth out! I wanted a big hole to open up and swallow me. On a serious note, it can be a bit shouty at my house, either me or my son, I'm worried about my fiestiness affecting him, I can be really irate albeit briefly, if I'm just doing so,etching where I have to focus and LO coes along and jumps/touches me or just barges into my thoughts it makes me get instantly cross, which I then regain control of quickly too... Anyone else? It's so hard being a fuzzy headed mum to probable ADHD case boy ....so hard xx
|
|
|
Post by JJ on Jun 11, 2013 13:21:56 GMT
Your story made me laugh.... My eldest didn't speak until he was about 4, that was one of the reasons I knew something was different about him (autism), he wasn't mute, he did make noises and say the odd word, but most of the rare noises he made weren't words, he didn't babble and the words he used weren't in context or relevant and were almost unintelligible. He had speech therapy 3 times a week from about 1 1/2 onwards and for a few years never even scored on the 1st centile for language.... Until one day ..... the very first time he said anything that was relevant, in context and appropriate was when I accidentally knocked him and he turned round and said " oh, for f**ks sake! ". That was a very bitter-sweet moment! I was desperate to call everyone to say he'd actually said something! I did have to tell the speech therapist though - v v v embarrassing So those were my eldest's first words and you'd think that I'd have learned by now, but 10 years later and a couple of days ago I heard my youngest (also aged 4) tell his brother to 'f**king shut up'. . I'm trying my absolute absolute hardest since then cos he starts school in a few months - and it's Catholic... Our house can be a bit 'shouty' and I completely get the immediately cross when get disturbed. I could have written your post myself so you're not the only one. . I do try and sometimes it's easier than others, but it's always a challenge to keep a grip on myself - even if its over and done with in a few seconds. I do apologise to them if I've shouted or been over the top and tell them it's my fault, not theirs, and my head isn't working properly but I'm trying to sort it out. Even the 4 year old says 'mummy is your head still mental,or are you ok now?' - Goodness - another thing to work on before he starts school
|
|
|
Post by Kathymel on Jun 11, 2013 19:28:58 GMT
I think I have been exceptionally lucky with regards my son swearing.
I told him practically as soon as he could talk that there were grown up words that mummy could say, but that he could not. I didn't expect it to work, to be honest. However, I have sworn with complete abandon for his whole life, and he has never been tempted to respond in kind.
He did tell me once, after a long period of intense bullying at school, that he had been swearing at the bullies. He was rather shamefaced about it. Nowadays, he says he swears when he is with his mates, but he still is very uncomfortable swearing in front of me. Every now and then I half-jokingly tell him something like, "I think you're old enough to say 'crap' now, you know.", but he doesn't really take advantage.
So, I can only say, phew, I seem to have got away with that one!
|
|
|
Post by DKL - darkknightslover on Jun 11, 2013 20:01:45 GMT
I really worry about when I have a kid(s) because of stopping the meds and my inability to stop myself from reacting and swearing. Had totally forgotten about "grown up" words and stuff! Are there any other gems you can share?
Sent from my GT-I9000 using proboards
|
|
|
Post by Kathymel on Jun 11, 2013 20:34:24 GMT
I have not been a model parent at all, so I can't really give you hints and tips.
All I can say is, I have always told him he is the most special, loved, beautiful human being in the world and, if it sometimes appears that I have forgotten it when I am screaming at him, it is never the case and it is my fault I am screaming, not his. Occasionally, I am big enough to apologise for my appalling behaviour and tell him how ashamed I am.
He has also suffered almost his entire life with bullying, and I have enforced into his head that it doesn't make him the loser, it makes them sad and pitiable.
He seems to be doing OK, despite me.
|
|
|
Post by cheekybuddha on Jun 12, 2013 15:21:44 GMT
Thanks for your replies lovelies.
I have fallen into malaise and inertia or I would reply xx
Who knows might be on top Of the world the world tomo and write bak!
Xx
|
|
|
Post by jan on Jun 12, 2013 20:08:51 GMT
so glad to hear your all really foul mouthed - - thought it was just me and have always thought ooooh they must think i'm so common cos i'm always swearing on here and you lot seem to manage to refrain or put stars in but being serious ( just for brief moment ) i would say you have been really lucky there with your son kath and also i think boys tend to respect their mums much more than girls do when they go through the nightmare teen years!!! i truly feel it has been one of my biggest regrets swearing in front of my daughter as she was growing up and it has come back to bite me - big time!!! i have never sworn at her as in your a f'in this or that but have sworn in front of her more and more as she grew older and i did the thing that kathy said - ok for grown ups etc but what i found as soon as she hit puberty (she was very early - 10 ) she begun to swear in front of me and at me and as she went through her teens it got worse and worse and i had no power to stop her as she just didn't see it as taboo!!! whereas when i was growing up my parents never swore in front of me so i always had that feeling that it was really out of order and so never felt comfortable swearing in front of them so never did. why i regret it so much is the fact that when you get the teenage arguements and blow ups that some teens go through (particularly those with adhd ) i found it so hard not to lose my temper sometimes when i was getting such disrespect thrown at me like being told to fuck off or that i was a miserable nagging fucking bitch etc etc and found it difficult to put boundaries around it as it was something she'd heard me do and genuinely didn't feel that she was doing anything wrong. thats just my experience anyway not judging or telling anyone what to do xx
|
|
|
Post by Boo2004boo on Jun 12, 2013 22:12:07 GMT
Janev.......really funny.....you didn't even bother to put the asterisks in!! You and your impulsive self! x
|
|
|
Post by cheekybuddha on Jun 13, 2013 8:09:08 GMT
Aw fiddlesticks was hoping my son would run with Kathymel logic, but I can blinking foresee that wont work for the spunky monkey What the fruit I'm to do I've no fuppin idea!
Gollygosh dang I'm gonna have to take a course in word replacement therapy, (WRT) includes toe stubbing session, locking keys in house session and exam with a small child bouncing on head at five AM at the end.
Sugar I'm gonna have to take the mutha trucker by the goolies or ill floopin pay now he started school
Thanks for your replie that made me laugh and smile and be hopeful xx
|
|
|
Post by Kathymel on Jun 13, 2013 8:24:00 GMT
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jun 14, 2013 0:49:23 GMT
Only just found this thread - thank 'goodness' it's not just me. O you think it is an adhd impulsiveness thing? Actually, I think I can just about remember a little experiment I watched on tv. 2 people had to put their hand into a bowl of freezing cold water. One was allowed to swear and the other wasn't. The one who could swear was able to endure the freezing water a lot longer. Maybe there is something in that?
|
|
|
Post by jan on Jun 14, 2013 6:45:43 GMT
sorry to disappoint petra - but i saw that was brian blessed and someone - can't rem now. the experiment was about pain but they were seeing if swearing helped and it was found if you were a regular swearer it didn't but if you only swore occasionaly then swearing when experiencing pain did help.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jun 14, 2013 16:13:50 GMT
Damn! That was the experiment I was thinking of. So that means there isn't even that excuse for swearing then
|
|