Post by jan on Jun 23, 2013 12:59:57 GMT
probably should be puting this in the venting thread thinking about it now - but hey why change the habit of a life time of getting things wrong.!!!! (why does my cat always decide to sit on my lap and get in the way when i'm trying to sort my thoughts out in a long post.)
have had shit week this week - think its combination of hot weather which makes me have hot flushes constantly and i feel like a kettle thats constantly on boiling point but never turns off and makes my brain feel like i'm trying to think through the hot steam - its like my thoughts are like an egg getting (over) poached and become hard and there's no way of untangling them and my head feels heavy as well as (so so hot)
on top of that my work is very physical and i have just felt absolutely knackered before i've even started - like doing a work out in a sauna !!!
and on top of all that have had stress on top - the parents support meeting getting screwed up - am wondering if thats my fault now - as she sent me an email yesterday to show me the date of an email she'd sent me previously but the bit about the change of date was miles down the page after loads of other stuff thats not relevant (usually get emails from this organisation at regular intervals that are literally 20 pages of thousands of details and links and never read them all and have never worked out the intervals so prob thought was just another regular one cos i actually spoke to her by phone about the group) and so i obviously never read it and to me its obvious if your sending me an email just send it about the one thing thats relevant - or preferably phone or text me !!!!!!!
(so sorry again fuzzy )
(saying that her name came up in conversation with 2 people i was with last night and theyv'e both had dealings with her and said she's a nutter ) (she hasnt got adhd so hopefully can say that on here without her knowing )
and have had problems to sort out for my daughter this week which have been stressful and painful - she's just coming to the end of her course and we went to an organisation to sign her papers for the apprenticeship shes going to do next and now they are saying that the course she's just spent a year doing is a mickey mouse course and that the units she has done are not accredited by the correct exam board in order to enable her to go on in this apprenticeship and do the next level and that she will have to spend another year doing what she thought she'd just done this year!!!!! (for £2.65 an hour - apprenticeships are exempt from minimum wage!!!)
needless to say she is well pissed off!!! and angry!!!!
the year before she did level 1 but didn't know until end of course that not enough to even start work in a nursery!!!
we had a meeting at the begining of the year with the course leader this year (and an adhd specialist that i took with us) and she was advised that this was the best course for her to do in order to get the qualification that she needs to enable her to work in a nursery. saying that though they said one of the reasons was she'd have support worker but then when she started the course nearly a month in we found out none of the tutors even knew she had adhd - no support worker - then another meeting - and weeks later support worker put in place!!
and an organisation that i sorted for her for supposedly 18 weeks of anger management, cbt, life coaching and which she has been engaging with well now out of the blue say their fundings been cut and thats end of that!!!!
i have been in touch and in no uncertain terms told them this is unnacceptable - to offer a mental health servive and then just leave the client like that - detrimental to affecting her trust in engaging with another service in future (this is by far not the first time this has happened with different agencies over the years!!!!) hopefully have sorted that one as was told they would fix it and use money from different budget so she can see it through to the end but was told would get a phone call to confirm on fri - no phone call - so in limbo about it all weekend!!!
understandablty daughters like fuck whats point - why not just go and sell a draw and live a life of crime and have money and no stress and not have to get up in the morn like she's seen a lot of her peers from school have done!!!!
and on top of all that ---- i have upset a friend as i invited a friend of hers that i met at her party last week to come and see a band and i didnt invite her but i did text her telling her but i said i hadn't cos i didn't think it was her scene cos it was a punk/ska band.
she's been upset about that but keeps trying to turn it around and make it seem like i didn't want her there when wasn't the case at all. i invited other woman as she has young daughter as well so thought could get my daughter to come as well cos its in library near me that got squatted by that occupy group that were camping outside st pauls last year and they successfully occupied the library , won a court case with the council to stop it being shut and sold off and now its run as a community library and has nothing to do with council and i was hoping that my daughter would come and meet other young activists and get politicised and get involved.
i don't like punk myself
she didn't come (daughter)
other friend did
kept bringing it up
i felt like shit friend and like done something underhand
didn't explain myself well to her either only now have worked out in my head as talking through on here.
just kept saying didn't think would have been her scene - making it worse i think as she has all the trappings of a very comfortable middle class life but comes from a working class background so think felt i was being judgemental in that sense !!!!!
and was nothing punk about the band in the end!!!!
this is what happens to me when i try and engage with life and people - constant mis understandings
which end up making me feel like a shit person!!!
god if youve managed to get to the end of this - well done - (are you sure you really got adhd??)
boring - sorry
prob not kind of stuff this forums for
feel like some senior god gonna come and tell me off now!!!
post completely devoid of humour which i hate !!!
anyway - positive got from last night is i've been meaning to get involved with this crowd for ages and ages and am now on their mailing list - so as long as i remember to read the whole of the emails !!! hopefully nothing will go wrong (yeah yeah i think to myself)
oh and there's a free yoga class so thin body again here i come
(long as i remember right night and time every week - no prob there then
have had shit week this week - think its combination of hot weather which makes me have hot flushes constantly and i feel like a kettle thats constantly on boiling point but never turns off and makes my brain feel like i'm trying to think through the hot steam - its like my thoughts are like an egg getting (over) poached and become hard and there's no way of untangling them and my head feels heavy as well as (so so hot)
on top of that my work is very physical and i have just felt absolutely knackered before i've even started - like doing a work out in a sauna !!!
and on top of all that have had stress on top - the parents support meeting getting screwed up - am wondering if thats my fault now - as she sent me an email yesterday to show me the date of an email she'd sent me previously but the bit about the change of date was miles down the page after loads of other stuff thats not relevant (usually get emails from this organisation at regular intervals that are literally 20 pages of thousands of details and links and never read them all and have never worked out the intervals so prob thought was just another regular one cos i actually spoke to her by phone about the group) and so i obviously never read it and to me its obvious if your sending me an email just send it about the one thing thats relevant - or preferably phone or text me !!!!!!!
(so sorry again fuzzy )
(saying that her name came up in conversation with 2 people i was with last night and theyv'e both had dealings with her and said she's a nutter ) (she hasnt got adhd so hopefully can say that on here without her knowing )
and have had problems to sort out for my daughter this week which have been stressful and painful - she's just coming to the end of her course and we went to an organisation to sign her papers for the apprenticeship shes going to do next and now they are saying that the course she's just spent a year doing is a mickey mouse course and that the units she has done are not accredited by the correct exam board in order to enable her to go on in this apprenticeship and do the next level and that she will have to spend another year doing what she thought she'd just done this year!!!!! (for £2.65 an hour - apprenticeships are exempt from minimum wage!!!)
needless to say she is well pissed off!!! and angry!!!!
the year before she did level 1 but didn't know until end of course that not enough to even start work in a nursery!!!
we had a meeting at the begining of the year with the course leader this year (and an adhd specialist that i took with us) and she was advised that this was the best course for her to do in order to get the qualification that she needs to enable her to work in a nursery. saying that though they said one of the reasons was she'd have support worker but then when she started the course nearly a month in we found out none of the tutors even knew she had adhd - no support worker - then another meeting - and weeks later support worker put in place!!
and an organisation that i sorted for her for supposedly 18 weeks of anger management, cbt, life coaching and which she has been engaging with well now out of the blue say their fundings been cut and thats end of that!!!!
i have been in touch and in no uncertain terms told them this is unnacceptable - to offer a mental health servive and then just leave the client like that - detrimental to affecting her trust in engaging with another service in future (this is by far not the first time this has happened with different agencies over the years!!!!) hopefully have sorted that one as was told they would fix it and use money from different budget so she can see it through to the end but was told would get a phone call to confirm on fri - no phone call - so in limbo about it all weekend!!!
understandablty daughters like fuck whats point - why not just go and sell a draw and live a life of crime and have money and no stress and not have to get up in the morn like she's seen a lot of her peers from school have done!!!!
and on top of all that ---- i have upset a friend as i invited a friend of hers that i met at her party last week to come and see a band and i didnt invite her but i did text her telling her but i said i hadn't cos i didn't think it was her scene cos it was a punk/ska band.
she's been upset about that but keeps trying to turn it around and make it seem like i didn't want her there when wasn't the case at all. i invited other woman as she has young daughter as well so thought could get my daughter to come as well cos its in library near me that got squatted by that occupy group that were camping outside st pauls last year and they successfully occupied the library , won a court case with the council to stop it being shut and sold off and now its run as a community library and has nothing to do with council and i was hoping that my daughter would come and meet other young activists and get politicised and get involved.
i don't like punk myself
she didn't come (daughter)
other friend did
kept bringing it up
i felt like shit friend and like done something underhand
didn't explain myself well to her either only now have worked out in my head as talking through on here.
just kept saying didn't think would have been her scene - making it worse i think as she has all the trappings of a very comfortable middle class life but comes from a working class background so think felt i was being judgemental in that sense !!!!!
and was nothing punk about the band in the end!!!!
this is what happens to me when i try and engage with life and people - constant mis understandings
which end up making me feel like a shit person!!!
god if youve managed to get to the end of this - well done - (are you sure you really got adhd??)
boring - sorry
prob not kind of stuff this forums for
feel like some senior god gonna come and tell me off now!!!
post completely devoid of humour which i hate !!!
anyway - positive got from last night is i've been meaning to get involved with this crowd for ages and ages and am now on their mailing list - so as long as i remember to read the whole of the emails !!! hopefully nothing will go wrong (yeah yeah i think to myself)
oh and there's a free yoga class so thin body again here i come
(long as i remember right night and time every week - no prob there then