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Post by fuzzywuzzy on Jun 23, 2013 18:26:27 GMT
Does anyone have any accommodations in place regarding homework?
It is an absolute nightmare with my 9 year old
My daughter is considered very bright by the school so I can't see them agreeing to a reduction, but she just gets so stressed out it isn't fair to keep putting her through such stress.....
and in my daughter's case, stress is toxic....she has co-morbid bipolar disorder and repeated bipolar episodes have been shown to permanently impair executive functions....
thank you x
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Post by jan on Jun 23, 2013 18:47:36 GMT
sounds terrible - and got to be sorted didn't know that my daughter had add when she was in primrary but we had terrible problems with homework
with her - dunno if its same with all adder's she has terrible problems actually starting - so thats when she needs most help even now - adhd expert that came into the school to advise teachers on how to help her said that she should spend no more than 40 min on homework - and that all the teachers involved should be on board with this so wether she got finished or not was ok and they were supposed to help her finish in class and she wasn't to be punished for it - though this didnt seem to go down chain command very well and i was always having to ring up about it.
guy who was involved in reccomending this doesnt work for education authoriyt any more but he does volunteer with addis and if he's still doing same days is there answeing the phone on thursdays 02089522800 colin - he's lovely and really easy and calm to talk to - he used to be head of a special needs school - maybe he'd have ideas of how to help and what support she could get.
hope so - don't know about anything else sorry xx
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Post by fuzzywuzzy on Jun 23, 2013 18:53:43 GMT
See.....that's why you are a God! x
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Post by jan on Jun 23, 2013 19:01:49 GMT
-ess maybe tell school tomorrow that you are going to speak to a specialist on thurs and ask that she doesn't get given any more homework in meantime till you can get expert advise. stress affects us so much - poor little thing and her being stressed will in turn affect you xx
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 23, 2013 19:28:18 GMT
Start with a room in the house that you can de-clutter to the max. If possible, clear the room in the house of everything bar a table and chair; the mind cannot be quietened with visual/aural noise all around! Then, approach every piece of homework with the mindset that 'this is an incredibly difficult piece of homework'. Do not ever say or imply anything is easy, even if she's done it 15 times before, flawlessly. Don't ever say you found it easy yourself and rubbish any claims otherwise! Retire to above-mentioned room the instant she finishes school whilst she is still in 'school mode'. Don't promise treats/rewards for finishing homework. She should feel the sense of achievement from managing to complete this extremely difficult piece of homework. I have trialled some of this with my own daughter with good results
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Post by Kathymel on Jun 23, 2013 21:02:25 GMT
I have found the opposite with my son, with regards treats. One weekend many years ago, he sat at the table for the whole of the day, doing nothing. I tried all sorts of tactics to get him to write. Finally, I found a bag of sweets and promised him one for every question answered. He was finished in minutes.
I wouldn't do that every time, but it's a win-win when all else fails.
We went through a phase of going to see Shakespeare plays at Stratford. So that Angus would understand the language, we sat and read one of the plays beforehand, each taking several parts. At the end of each speech we had a piece of chocolate. It might sound like torture to anyone who doesn't like or know Shakespeare, but it's one of my favourite memories (and Genghis's).
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 23, 2013 21:08:07 GMT
Be good to get some more posts in this thread. Perhaps we'll end up with the perfect way to educate our kids Personally, if I know there is a treat coming, I can only focus on the treat, to the detriment of all else. Can't hyperfocus on the foreground when you know something better is round the corner, kinda thing.
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Post by jan on Jun 23, 2013 21:30:40 GMT
. Do not ever say or imply anything is easy, even if she's done it 15 times before, flawlessly. Don't ever say you found it easy yourself and rubbish any claims otherwise! yep this was one of the things that was recommended to help my daughter i remember, now its been mentioned. - and never to say 'come on you can do this ' - which then implys that it is easy .
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Post by Kathymel on Jun 23, 2013 21:33:00 GMT
I was watching a lecture on Youtube a while ago. Either Nutt, Asherson or Barclay. He was saying we need more reinforcement and more consequences and that they need to be immediate.
I think if I'd offered him the whole bag when he finished everything, it wouldn't have been as effective, but one for each question was a small enough timescale for him to cope with.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 23, 2013 21:33:17 GMT
I only realised it myself by accident tbh. I had been doing the old 'come on this is easy' for ages. My daughter doesn't have ADHD I hope but she appears to be 'blessed' with the attention span of a goldfish so I aint taking any chances!
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Post by computermandan on Sept 25, 2013 13:02:30 GMT
Reading this thread is yet another scary experience... going through the GP referral motions myself currently... Seeing almost a mirror image of me in my "middle" daughter Millie... shy, innatentive, distractible - homework simply doesn't happen if even the slightest thing is going on around her. Problem is we don't have anywhere she can go in the house, where there is no distractions. The only real option is to have homework time where everything stops and the girls do their homework at the dining table... but they end up fighting over space, or pencils or table cloth movement... I think they argued about breathing too loudly once! so it's a struggle to say the least. I do like the reward idea - especially little bits for little achievements this will probably help nicely so going to give it a try. My Wife is now coming round to the idea that, at least one of our children thinks / processes things differently to her - it's a struggle to get her to give the girls a break sometimes as it frustrates her terribly that they can't "just do it". (according to mother-in-law she did homework before she'd been given it never mind before it was due!) On the other hand I recall spending a whole day writing a page long report that would have taken 30 minutes had I had any focus at all... instead of playing football that day I finished up with a badly written piece of homework, a pile of random graffiti sketches and a bedroom desk covered in odd looking acid house faces pulling random expressions. It's nice to see we aren't the only people struggling to get the girlies to get on with it
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Post by StressedMum on Sept 29, 2013 17:54:48 GMT
I have always called the school, spoken to the relevant tutor and asked for extention time in whih to finish the tasks. So far, they ghave always agreed.
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Post by Little Owl on Oct 20, 2013 13:34:54 GMT
This is quite likely to cause screams of horror as what I did goes against all advice to find a place with no distractions.
I (many years ago) used to do all my homework in front of the TV; not french vocabulary or when I got into higher education but certainly during secondary school. My mum let me do it because I used to get on with my work without her nagging me much and the work was generally of high standard). It took me ages to do my homework but I got there.
It worked in part because I was capable of hyperfocus (sometimes found with ADHD). It also afforded me a way to relax my mind; I looked up at the TV in a sort of dreamy fashion when I could not think what to write next. TV may have helped with boredom & procrastination in someway - if I could do both things (one pain, one pleasure) at the same time, I was more likely to start.
The programmes I watched were familiar and somewhat repetitive e.g. scooby-doo which has essentially the same plot in every episode so did not require much brain energy. Children are happy watching recorded programmes over and over again. This would have worked for me.
I don't think working in front of the TV would help many with ADHD and it certainly does not work all the time - but it may work for few ADHDers, some of the time.
If you want some other ideas, Kevin Robert's "Movers Dreamers and Risk-Takers" has some. His ideas would need to be adapted for your primary school child but his amusing book may seed some helpful strategies. It will also give you some fodder for helping your child in higher education.
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Post by jan on Oct 20, 2013 17:44:48 GMT
If you want some other ideas, Kevin Robert's "Movers Dreamers and Risk-Takers" has some. His ideas would need to be adapted for your primary school child but his amusing book may seed some helpful strategies. It will also give you some fodder for helping your child in higher education. www.EmpowerADD.org , he's also on facebook and has a blog - address to that still with my notes www.kevinjroberts.net.
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hypermic
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Post by hypermic on Nov 15, 2013 18:11:35 GMT
Personally I don't believe in homework before about age 13 (or earliest 12), of course I permanently dropped out of school at 13! Tell the school you do not believe in homework at that age, unless they are perhaps practicing something they are having some difficulty with, I mean don't agree with it. ADHD and under 13? Homework... Pffft hahahaha seriously what's the school going to do to me? Shoot me dead
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