|
Post by Kathymel on Sept 5, 2013 8:44:07 GMT
I've been spending some time thinking about what to do with regards my degree. I have only one part-year left to do, comprising my dissertation and one other module which may turn out to be a SIM (Self Instructional Module) if there aren't enough students. It will actually be an easier year as far as word-count goes, but the lack of externally imposed structure for the dissertation, and possibly the other module too, leaves me in complete dread as my self-motivation is non-existent and I don't find learning from books easy.
There are no meds on the horizon as yet and, even though my marks are excellent, the process of getting them is excruciating and leaves my son (and every other aspect of life) on the sidelines for weeks at a time. I would desperately love to get a 1st, but my marks at the moment are slightly below what I would need. These feel like my options:
Scenario 1.
I go back this year and complete the degree unmedicated. Genghis will have to put up with one more year of neglect, but will have my full attention (what there is of it) for his exam year. I may not get the final result that I want, but at least it will be over. I won't get any support from uni with regards the ADHD.
Scenario 2.
I take a year out and concentrate on fighting to get an NHS diagnosis. I might then return to uni the following year diagnosed and medicated (and no longer distracted by the NHS fight). I would get support from uni with the possiblity that the last 2 modules and my final mark (and possibly past modules) would be assessed taking the ADHD into account. The main problem with this is that it clashes with Genghis's exam year (although I would be finished before the actual exams). On the other hand, if I was medicated I might be able to help him more.
I am leaning towards the second option. Does my reasoning sound reasonable? Are there too many 'maybes' in the second scenario to take it seriously?
|
|
|
Post by jan on Sept 5, 2013 9:10:12 GMT
morn kath thanks for your lovely supportive message yesterday xx I can sympathise with your dilemma - also when we say 1 year it sounds like nothing - especially to people like us with no concept of time. but it is actually a long time really. if you take a year off are you sure you are really motivated to go back to it. a year out of studying is a long time - would you be able to get back into the flow of it (mentally) quick enough to be giving it your best after having year off - medicated or not.? I know for me when I did it I just found it impossible to get my brain back into study mode when I returned (but I had had a baby in that year though so bit different from you) would it help /could you do a unit this year and your dissertation (then hopefully medicated ) next year ? and would then get the adhd (hopefully ) taken into account for dissertation and previous work. if you take this year off to concentrate on getting dx - and concentrating on getting Genghis dx'd as well - then he would get extra support for his exams as well which then makes next year easier for both of you . how important is it to you to get a first? I would assume that you would get that if your medicated if you've been doing so well unmedicated . would it be possible for his dad to take over most of his care this year if you do it this year so that you can just concentrate on the work? have you spoken to Genghis and asked him his view on it all ? is it just the usual 'i'm not good enough mum syndrome' and maybe he doesn't find life as bad as your thinking it is when your studying .
|
|
|
Post by JJ on Sept 5, 2013 9:51:27 GMT
Hmmmm, hard one -when do you have to decide by? X
|
|
|
Post by Kathymel on Sept 5, 2013 10:09:45 GMT
Some good questions there, jan. if you take a year off are you sure you are really motivated to go back to it. a year out of studying is a long time - would you be able to get back into the flow of it (mentally) quick enough to be giving it your best after having year off - medicated or not.? I'm fairly certain it wouldn't be a problem. I've been more motivated to do this than anything else I've ever done. It's literally the only thing I've ever stuck at so I think going back wouldn't be too hard. would it help /could you do a unit this year and your dissertation (then hopefully medicated ) next year ? and would then get the adhd (hopefully ) taken into account for dissertation and previous work. I hadn't thought of that. It's not a bad idea except for the mark might be lower than it would be medicated. Then I might only have my dissertation to try to get the final mark better. If the medication made any difference to my marks, which it may well not do. if you take this year off to concentrate on getting dx - and concentrating on getting Genghis dx'd as well - then he would get extra support for his exams as well which then makes next year easier for both of you . That's where my thinking is at the moment. If we are both in a stronger position at the end of this year, it's a win-win. how important is it to you to get a first? I would assume that you would get that if your medicated if you've been doing so well unmedicated . When I started this degree, there was a constant voice in my head saying, 'I can't do this, I can't do this!'. I almost left once or twice at the start. Then I started getting good marks and now my attitude has been at times, 'If I can't get a 1st, there's no point doing it at all.' Sounds more than faintly ridiculous, I know. would it be possible for his dad to take over most of his care this year if you do it this year so that you can just concentrate on the work? His dad has him half the time as it is and has been a complete rock for me during my course. He has been as flexible as possible, but he works away and sometimes has to employ someone to stay overnight with Genghis. I know he can't really afford it and I don't want to burden him any more. have you spoken to Genghis and asked him his view on it all ? is it just the usual 'i'm not good enough mum syndrome' and maybe he doesn't find life as bad as your thinking it is when your studying . Genghis and I talked about this yesterday. I already know that he hates it when I'm studying. I'm short tempered and rage at him if he makes noise or disturbs me. There's no denying I am not pleasant to be around and he prefers to spend as much time at his dad's as he can. The food is better there, too! He seems to think it might be a good idea to take a year out and pointed out that if he is studying too, he will be quieter (hmmm) and there could be some mutual camaraderie with it.
|
|
|
Post by jan on Sept 5, 2013 10:14:52 GMT
really must go and shower before going work (cos I well stink )
so can't give any more thoughts for now - apart from - hey how about getting into the mindfulness with us? - (may help on every point )
catch u later xx
(
|
|
|
Post by JJ on Sept 5, 2013 10:15:37 GMT
I think jan def has a point about once you stop you may not be able to make yourself start again. After my degree I started a masters, a diploma and a different undergraduate degree twice - longest I made was a few weeks before giving up - and it def had something to do with just not being able to go back to studying and in the same place...
But I understand how you want a first.
When it comes to dissertation you could be medicated by then....
We could try and keep you on track and keep on your case re deadlines etc....
I don't know, it's so hard, but I'd probably veer towards carrying on with it.
Re yr university - you do actually have a diagnosis from yr private psych - surely you can ask for help? Also for disabled students allowance....
Don't envy your decision xxxx
|
|
|
Post by JJ on Sept 5, 2013 10:22:15 GMT
Your post came up while I was typing so I didn't see it
Ooohh, really feel for your dilemma.....
|
|
|
Post by Kathymel on Sept 5, 2013 10:22:23 GMT
Hmmmm, hard one -when do you have to decide by? X Not sure when term officially starts, but my first lecture would be Sep 24th. If there are going to be any lectures at all. However, enrollment doesn't close until the end of Oct.
|
|
|
Post by JJ on Sept 5, 2013 10:29:53 GMT
Though if you think you'll be motivated to start again anyway after a break, and you are medicated by then, then even if you do lose some motivation, the medication will help make you do it - and the goal of completing it and getting a first will still be there....
On reflection, maybe a year off might be better for you - you sound much more towards that anyway - and, if it's always a possibility to drop out and start again in a year, that will make it harder for you to keep momentum up this year if you struggle through....
|
|
|
Post by Kathymel on Sept 5, 2013 10:32:22 GMT
Re yr university - you do actually have a diagnosis from yr private psych - surely you can ask for help? Also for disabled students allowance.... The problem with his diagnosis are these bits: "Ms Coutanche would appear to be presenting with a chronic history of difficulties in organisation and concentration that may be evidence of attentional deficit without clear features of overactivity. As such a diagnosis of Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) might be appropriate rather than ADHD." "a trial of medication might be useful for Ms Coutanche to confirm the diagnosis." "If medication for ADD/ADHD is not effective, it may be prudent to exclude other causes of concentration and organisation difficulties, and recommend alternate intervention." "If there is no effect at this dose, it would indicate that this medication is not effective, and suggest a diagnosis of ADD is not appropriate." So he never actually says definitively that I have ADHD. Bastard. No one is going to give me the funding required to get the uni Assessment of Needs based on that crock of flanelly shit.
|
|
|
Post by Kathymel on Sept 5, 2013 10:52:00 GMT
hey how about getting into the mindfulness with us? - (may help on every point ) I just know I wouldn't stick at that!
|
|
|
Post by JJ on Sept 5, 2013 12:03:51 GMT
Oh yeah - had forgotten what the stupid f*cker actually wrote... F*cking hell - nothing nothing but nothing is ever straight forward in adhd world
|
|
|
Post by JJ on Sept 5, 2013 12:54:17 GMT
Ok - so the 'Equalities Act 2010' completely suggests that you don't need to have a formal diagnosis of something in order for you to have a disability and therefore qualify for protection. Your university also says it follows the legislation closely and, in any case, the Equalities Act applies anyway..... Government guidance on disability in the equalities act : odi.dwp.gov.uk/docs/wor/new/ea-guide.pdfSo pasted from it : Main elements of the definition of disability A1. The Act defines a disabled person as a person with a disability. A person has a disability for the purposes of the Act if he or she has a physical or mental impairment and the impairment has a substantial and long-term adverse effect on his or her ability to carry out normal day-to-day activities. A2. This means that, in general: • the person must have an impairment that is either physical or mental; • the impairment must have adverse effects which are substantial; • the substantial adverse effects must be long-term; and • the long-term substantial adverse effects must be effects on normal day-to-day activities Meaning of ‘impairment’ A3. The definition requires that the effects which a person may experience must arise from a physical or mental impairment. The term mental or physical impairment should be given its ordinary meaning. A4. Whether a person is disabled for the purposes of the Act is generally determined by reference to the effect that an impairment has on that person’s ability to carry out normal day-to-day activities. A8. It is not necessary to consider how an impairment is caused, even if the cause is a consequence of a condition which is excluded....What it is important to consider is the effect of an impairment not its cause. - So, given exactly what he wrote, you have evidence of a disability under the act's definition, therefore have its protection, therefore your university has to give you a needs assessment.... As far as I can see anyway
|
|
|
Post by Kathymel on Sept 5, 2013 13:25:36 GMT
As always, JJ, you are amazing. I will make an appointment to see the disabilities person next week. Apparently, the process takes months so I will still probably put off my final year, though. Thanks!
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Sept 6, 2013 9:43:54 GMT
Crock of flanelly shit! I love it Anyway. Fear of failure. Procrastination. Justification. It will be tough. There may be tears. Burnt food and no food. Do it now, don't delay. You can write the uni the smugest letter of 'go fuck yourself' after you graduate with zero help, too. As an aside, I may have invented a new word... or misspelled an existing one
|
|
|
Post by Kathymel on Sept 6, 2013 18:59:37 GMT
Crock of flanelly shit! I love it Anyway. Fear of failure. Procrastination. Justification. It will be tough. There may be tears. Burnt food and no food. Do it now, don't delay. You can write the uni the smugest letter of 'go fuck yourself' after you graduate with zero help, too. As an aside, I may have invented a new word... or misspelled an existing one Guaranteed a 2:1 so no fear of failure. Delaying for legitimate reasons. Um ... is this justification?
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Sept 6, 2013 19:33:51 GMT
I was just providing an alternative viewpoint Only you will know what's right for you but I am a bit of an expert at bullshitting myself to suit my wavering interests or to protect my fragile ego
|
|
|
Post by jan on Sept 6, 2013 20:29:30 GMT
wow no 'cunt' in post - I dunno whether to be impressed or getting worried about you
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Sept 6, 2013 21:10:49 GMT
Mindfulness just kicked in, y0.
|
|