mikee
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Posts: 8
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Post by mikee on Sept 13, 2013 21:03:45 GMT
recently diagnosed adhd......i just do not know how to accept it.i really really dont. i always new i was a bit different,just a little,but i got this nagging doubt in my head,.....i dont have adhd ,im getting mixed up,the psychiatrist has got it wrong..he must have missunderstood what ive told him. .i am hyper,allways have been. get very frustrated. get super easily angry. mind is always racing,thinking different things. tics. cannot relax,ever. fidgety. very fickle with jobs,leave them in an instant. get bored . always coming up with new ideas about things,how to make money etc. bad memory. sensitive to noises,eating etc. bla bla bla......i guess im after confirmation as well from you guys,cus you all have it. im a real mess right now,im 47,and feel like ive dragged my ass to where i am today,well ok,lets say i have adhd,now what !!? - carry on being me ? - but thats how i got here,is that the future,carry on as you were,but its ok,because your adhd ? - im not all that good on medicine,tried medikinet,but end up paranoid im gonna have a frikin stroke or something.(made my way of thinkng clearer). just what the hell am i supposed to do ?? honestly,i just dont get it,what job am i supposed to do,the way i think is the way i think,it always has been, some feedback would be really fuckin appreciated right now,because my symptoms seem 10 times worse than before the diagnosis...adhd,if thats what it is,is now fully in control of me,but thats because adhd IS me,right ? i really look forward to some of your replies. thanks,mike.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 13, 2013 21:33:00 GMT
I can relate to almost all of your traits so whatever you have, I probably have it too. Just keep trying drugs until one works dood and slowly but surely, new ways of thinking and new realisations will unfold. You're unlikely to lose any of your ADHD 'gifts' simply because you can't undo 47 years of habits by popping a few pills but they can help. Don't expect miracles but go get some more drugs and take it slow Also, some of us are getting into this mindfulness bollocks too which seems to be helping. Forced breathing, forcing yourself to do things slowly. Every little helps...
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Post by Lesley on Sept 13, 2013 21:52:50 GMT
Mikee, I've been hanging around hoping someone else would answer you, because I'm not good at this sort of stuff. I hope someone else will come along who can be a bit more helpful, but in the meantime, just so you know someone is listening -
Of course, none of us can confirm or contradict what the psychiatrist says, but it certainly sounds from what you say above that he got it right. If you browse this board and read various threads, I'm sure you'll find plenty where you recognise yourself (there's a recent one on sensitivity to noise, for instance).
When anyone is just diagnosed, it really is a lot to get your head round, even if you were fairly sure you had ADHD before diagnosis. It will take some time for you to come to terms with it.
I saw on your earlier threads that you had stopped taking your meds. did you try them again? Or go back to the doctor? As various people said to you there, they do take time to work, and also some meds suit some people better than others. Do persevere, in consultation with your GP and your psychiatrist.
You say "adhd IS me, right?" No. You have ADHD, and it may feel now as if it's fully in control of you, but it's not you, and with time, help, and probably unfortunately lots of effort, you can bring it under control (some of the time anyway, and then maybe most of the time ..)
Try to take things slowly. Is there anyone you can talk to?
I see Michael has replied to you now - just read it in another window. Will post this anyway - hope it helps a little.
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Post by jan on Sept 13, 2013 22:12:00 GMT
nothing wrong with that reply - in fact that's a great reply who told you your no good at this ? - you did - well you been telling yourself fibs (I want a window - how do you get that ?) mike - your gonna be ok - really - don't worry - you've got us lot now and that's what made the difference to me - having people to talk to , moan at, laugh with and generally explore all the facets of this shit condition we've got - you will start feeling better - once the shock has worn off and you grieve a bit for the life you could have had if you'd known years ago - I was 50 when I realised I had adhd and nearly 51 when got dx'd - as Lesley said - you will learn to make the best of it just keep coming on here and getting to know everyone - learn about yourself from others - and most importantly - have a laugh - you will - I guarantee it xx
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Post by Lesley on Sept 14, 2013 13:30:26 GMT
nothing wrong with that reply - in fact that's a great reply xx Thank you, Jan. I think the real problem was knowing how to start - once I'd got started it went all right. I think if I hadn't been so tired (and Proboards was playing up - I thought I'd lost it all at one point) I'd have edited out the beginning once I'd done. Mikee, I hope things are looking at least a little better today.
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Post by jan on Sept 14, 2013 17:51:05 GMT
Lesley said I see Michael has replied to you now - just read it in another window. Will post this anyway - hope it helps a little. (I want a window - how do you get that ?)
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Post by supine on Sept 14, 2013 19:18:15 GMT
Hi Mikee, just as Leslee said, it's a bit hard to know what to say, so I'm just gonna plow on and see if the right stuff pops out You sound like you know you have ADHD, but don't want to have ADHD. Well, I think we all do. As for you being ADHD, I guess I can understand why you said that. Whe I was first Dx'd a few months ago, I went through a whole phase of re-evaluating my whole life through the new lens of awareness that was the ADHD symptom list and do you know what I discovered? Every single behaviour I have I can link to a coping mechanism I developed because (unknown to me) I had ADHD. Does this make me ADHD? Well, no, I don't think so. Did ADHD make me? Hmm, getting closer I think, but not quite right. Did ADHD provide me with the stimulus to become the person I am today? Most certainly yes. The question then becomes :- "Am I happy with who I am today?". For me, right now, I guess I am, but there have certainly been times when I wasn't. So what has made the difference? It certainly wasn't the meds, because I've only been taking them a couple of months. Was it the ADHD? Well, no - because although it created situations for me, it was up to me how I overcame them. Basically what I'm getting at is that although ADHD has shaped you, it doesn't control you. Your will controls you. If you give up that will to blame something else (any kind of condition really) then I guess you won't end up happy with yourself. If you take control of your life and strive to make the best of everything, even the shit, then you will always end up better off somehow. You may lose some stuff you like on the way, but you should find better stuff too - it's important to stay flexible of mind and heart, and to give your spirit a chance to shine. Postitive thinking is a habit. At the beiginning when you feel down it can feel like you're just lying and it means nothing and has no effect. However, the more you do it, the easier it becomes and when it becomes second nature nothing can stop you - only set you back. The number of times in my life I have taken 2 steps forward and 3 steps back I cannot tell you, but if you keep taking two steps forward, every now and again you don't go backwards - so you eventually end up making progress. It isn't an easy path, it isn't always a happy path - but I can pretty much guarantee that you will be better off for it in the long term. So yes, you have ADHD. And no, it isn't the end of the world. Chin up and start looking for the good things, we're all in the same boat on here one way or another - you won't find another place like this on the net. Was that the kind of feedback you were looking for?
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Post by JJ on Sept 14, 2013 19:48:43 GMT
Hi mikee I can't answer you so well like the others have..... But I recognise everything you're saying - I felt or feel lots of what you're saying about questioning what's you, what's adhd, what does this all mean.... I've not found all the answers, I'm still trying to work out all the questions probably..... But from looking back to March when I was diagnosed, I can see I've been on a journey - everything has changed wrt my self-perception - I feel I've still got a way to go, but I definitely feel better now than I did at the start xx
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Post by supine on Sept 14, 2013 19:53:45 GMT
"because my symptoms seem 10 times worse than before the diagnosis"
I forgot to mention, but I went through this after finding out I had ADHD - it kind of went into overdrive. It can take a little while to settle down, you're assimilating of lot of change, hang in there.
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Post by JJ on Sept 14, 2013 20:08:06 GMT
"because my symptoms seem 10 times worse than before the diagnosis" I forgot to mention, but I went through this after finding out I had ADHD - it kind of went into overdrive. It can take a little while to settle down, you're assimilating of lot of change, hang in there. Oh yeah - me too - definitely
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