sparks
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Post by sparks on Sept 14, 2013 14:34:09 GMT
hello
I`m a single dad of 2 boys ( 3 & 4 ) i`m 24 with ADHD and dyslexia . also my 4year old son is showing signs of ADHD /ADD. i struggle day to day with daily tasks and routines . i do find it very hard to tell people how i feel and show my emotions ,
any advise or suggestion would help me out
thanks daniel
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Post by JJ on Sept 14, 2013 20:00:34 GMT
Hi Daniel and welcome to the forum Lots of us are single parents here so there's definitely a lot of sympathy and understanding about how hard it is Are you medicated I wonder? I know that meds don't stop it being hard btw... There's no magic wand I'm afraid, organisation and daily tasks are just awful regardless - the only thing I can offer you is promise that it won't be like this forever wrt the trials of looking after small children. You're then faced with different issues and difficulties but in my experience the younger years are the hardest (eldest 15 in couple weeks, youngest 4). In the mean time, you've found us here and it's always ok to say how you feel (and show emotions if you want). There's so much support here and it's kept me from total insanity . Have you spoken to anyone about your worries for your 4 year old? Xx
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Post by jan on Sept 14, 2013 20:44:32 GMT
hi daniel - this is second time have typed this - fuck knows where first one disappeared to (love the name daniel - was my dads name ) you got so much going on eh! (ooops sorry forgot to say welcome ) i can imagine how hard it must be to be on your own with 2 kids under 5 - you must be exhausted and probably bit bored as well - (imbetween the amazing bits ) are you diagnosed and medicated ? there's lots of single parents - of all different ages - male and female on here and lots of us have kids with adhd as well so your def in right place. i'd say the most important (and hardest) thing you need to do when you are parenting alone is getting your own needs met - the happier you are - the happier they will be.do you manage to get out and have male company - know that men need to talk men stuff and if your hanging around parks and play groups prob not getting much of that. try and find time each week for yourself - if you can - anything you need to know about adhd will most definitely get answered by someone on here - there's some really knowledgeable people on here that are always willing to help when their around and there's a bunch of us practically on here 24/7 look forward to more posts from you jan
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 14, 2013 21:29:35 GMT
Wow, how the hell you coping? Better than my Dad did I hope Get yourself a big whiteboard if you don't already have one. Write your to do list on it every day. Show your boys what you're doing on the whiteboard - checklists are a key coping skill, IMHO, they are going to need to learn ASAP. Age 3 and 4. Awesome. Terrible twos are done and dusted so you have two amazing young chaps that are ready to be moulded in your image, whatever that may be. You'll blink one day and there'll be a 7 and 8 year old standing before you. As difficult as it may be, try and treasure these days. You are probably going to need some help. You probably don't like asking for help. We generally like to be in a position of strength before we ask anyone for anything. No one wants to feel needy, right? Make a list of all the stuff you're awesome at to remind yourself. Seriously. Your goldfish memory may need anchor points for the long haul - mine does. Slight deviation but I was talking to someone the other day and she said she needed to hoover (that's a vacuum cleaner for you posh people) the house or something and asked me to help. I said yes, instantly. I would have helped, too. I would rather do her chores than my own. I'd rather do anyone's chores than my own. WTF? Perhaps you're similar? Got any neighbours? In particular, female neighbours with experience of young kids? You could start 'building relationships' as contrived as that sounds. Even if you did a 'chore swap' type scenario, it might be better than sitting in the house with the dishes stacked to the roof If you go this route, I would suggest the outcome to be avoided at all costs is where they believe you are 'interested' in them sexually/relationship-wise. Otherwise, you may get 150% effort for a short period and then scorn/indignation/rage thereafter - which prolly won't help you or your boys. Three women who are willing to help you occasionally may be better than one you shack up with that you end up arguing with every other day. I am not casting aspersions (thanks Jan) just thinking, aloud, what I might be tempted to do in that situation I hope you get more advice/experience from this forum. Every little helps I think (I can't say that now without thinking of Asda. It's not even Asda's fucking slogan mun!)
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Post by jan on Sept 14, 2013 21:52:01 GMT
excellent advice - from one male to another PS daniel -translation - 'mun' is welsh equivelant to english 'man'
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 14, 2013 21:54:36 GMT
Ever seen that film where the italians are trying to explain 'forget about it' ? 'Mun' is very similar I feel
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Post by jan on Sept 14, 2013 21:57:45 GMT
no not seen that my shout box wont work its all 'bruv' in london now sorry for de railing your thread daniel
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 14, 2013 22:09:11 GMT
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 14, 2013 22:10:15 GMT
I started off with 'Mickey Blue Eyes' and finally got to it^.
Gotta love the internets!
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Post by jj janev michael on Sept 14, 2013 22:14:47 GMT
hello thanks for the reply's. i`m not medicated as they wont to monitor it , i do have a partner and she does help me a lot ( witch i am great full .) but am pushing her away due to not being able to open up to her. i do only have 2 male friend that i talk to alot but prefer female company. a big whiteboard sounds like a very good idea but have to put up high and both my boys love to draw on every think i own lol thanks daniel
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 14, 2013 22:19:21 GMT
Get meds and you'll open up to her automatically. Job done!
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Post by jan on Sept 14, 2013 22:25:41 GMT
yep - that explains 'mun' may find opening up to your partner is a lot easier and shorter in general timescale than getting meds is Daniel (sorry to be so cynical )
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Post by jenev, michael on Sept 15, 2013 13:21:41 GMT
so i`ve just been out and got my white board . doctors just wont to monitor me to see what they are going to do . but sure if i wont to be put on meds , as i probable forget to take them every day .what over treatment is there for it ?? thanks daniel
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Post by Deleted on Sept 15, 2013 14:40:16 GMT
Well done! I've been trying to get one for ages. You've beaten me to it. Fuck knows where I would put it but I just know the instant I get one, things are going to be so much easier. Where did you get yours? Alternative treatments are highly debated. Some say there are none. It could also be said you're unlikely to forget the one thing that is going to help you succeed Have a look at 'mindfulness'. It is essentially the exact opposite of what ADHD is and some have had great results by trying it. Maybe it's a muscle that needs to be worked but like anything, the start is the most difficult.
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sparks
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Post by sparks on Sept 15, 2013 15:41:59 GMT
ha ha lol . i got it from argos for £25 ( well got my mum to get it for me ) . no i have`t looked at that but will have a look .
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