|
Post by sherry on Feb 7, 2009 15:52:09 GMT
All my life I thought I was a waste of space, I couldn't understand why I was so hopeless. I thought I was stupid even tho some ppl did tell me I wasn't. My parents thought I was a waste of space. I did badly a school, never had an explanation for the stupid things I did, always late in. A generally naughty child. Lots of what I touched turned to rats $£!t. I ended up on anti depressants a few times, they helped cause they made me not give a $£!t. They one day I switched on This Morning and caught the tail end of Pink Lady's interview regarding adult ADHD and an alarming idea got in to my head. As I researched the condition my life began to make sense. I have my final appointment next week and hpefully can try some meds and maybe will be able to take some control over my life again who knows. One thing I do know is that a long time ago I decided that if my life was never going to change and I was always gonna feel this way; I would opt out by the time I was 50. Why that age, I don't know maybe because its passed half way and things should be sorted by that age? Now I have some hope again, I know I will never be right but some improvement would be something.
***Thank you Pink Lady, if ever you feel down just remember you may have saved my life***
|
|
|
Post by pinkbeauty on Feb 7, 2009 18:22:48 GMT
Thank you Sherry, it means a lot and thank you Roland for drawing my attention to this message.
PB
|
|
|
Post by sherry on Feb 7, 2009 18:59:16 GMT
My pleasure.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Feb 23, 2009 14:25:35 GMT
Sherry, I should probably put this website down and do some work and I will do soon, honest!
See I get myself well in to the idea of having this condition and then I go and read something like this and cant help thinking that I am a fake. I have had some very low times in my life, I couldn't see things ever getting better and I did contemplated suicide on occasions but I think that a lot of that was circumstantial. Now I am all grown up I can't imagine ever feeling that way again. Yes I have had times where I have been very depressed since but I seam to keep it in mind that I will get through it.
To see someone that so desperately needs treatment to feel that they are able to sustain there will to live makes me feel guilty. I have times when my head is going screwy and I think I can't cope anymore but I have reached a point in life where I am quite determined that I will reach retirement! I do quite often think I may end up bailing out and just dumping my self on my parents sometimes. I suppose if that did happen who knows what I would be driven to do! I keep thinking maybe I should give myself a slap and tell myself to just stop being lazy and get on with it. I can cope and I do get by so why am I looking for excuses.
Anyway, I sincerely hope you manage to make some positive progress with your treatment!
|
|
|
Post by sherry on Feb 23, 2009 20:27:09 GMT
Hey Ian don't you worry about me I am not sure I would really have the bottle to opt out. Sometimes I have just felt so helpless cause there didn't seem to be an end to all the confusion and I wish it would all just stop, luckily some days I am an optomist (I always say that pessimists never get disapointed tho lol!!) Also luckily for me I have a good partner and he gives me a reason to keep going. For anyone out there that feels like me and you are on yr own get a dog, they are great company, very loyal and they don't ever get pee'd off with you when you mess up. You must remember to feed them tho lol. I had a dog for 15 yrs, she was my best freind and I would never have left her. Ian, I don't think you are a fake at all, everyone handles ADHD in different ways and some ppl will always be worse than others. Like any disorder there is a spectrum I don't think I am too far over one way as I have a decent job and my own home, some struggle to be able to do that cause life is too difficult for them. If the meds don't work I will just get some happy pills instead lol!!!
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Feb 23, 2009 22:00:25 GMT
Well I'm not sure my world is as chaotic as your's but I have had some very low points in my life so I do understand how it feels to want to call it a day. I'm not sure I would ever have had the balls to do it but more than that I couldn't have put my parents thought it. I think if I am honest that my parents have probably been responsible for me managing to keep going at times. they have bailed me out a few times and I have a strong want not to let them down, burden them or cause them to worry. I have been thinking since I posted that that I think my problems are probably a lot worse than I give myself credit for and I feel like I am coping OK because I'm not actually working. The growing anxiety I have had today which I think is a combination of my appointment tomorrow along with the lack of work situation has reminded me just how crippling that is. Last I remember work wise I did feel Like I couldn't cope for much longer This is probably half the reason why I haven't actually bothered looking for work. I just got off the phone to my mum. I very nervously (for some reason) told her that I have been suffering from chronic anxiety for some years and I was going to the doctors to try and get a referral to an ADHD specialist. She said thats excellent, we always new that you had something like this. She is all keen to see how I get on now. Well its good to know I have my parents on side and they said thy will dig out my school reports and are prepared to give any evidence if necessary. Interestingly, my mum knew all about NICE. I think she works for the NHS Cancer trust and is heavily involved in compiling there guide lines (but I'm not 100%). Excellent advice with the pet dog BTW! I have believed for many years that people should not need to rely on drugs, that you just need to get your head strait. I am starting to see that things are not so simple and the way things are going I will need something to control my anxiety if I can't get a grip on the cause.
|
|
|
Post by sherry on Feb 23, 2009 22:33:47 GMT
To be fair I was worried about mentioning it to my parents as we don't get on that well. When I did they didn't say much but I think my dad is on a guilt trip now cause they didn't treat me very well as a child. He said a few things to my cousin knowing she would tell me. Its good yr mom is being supportive and see even she knew you were not ok.
|
|
|
Post by roland on Feb 23, 2009 23:22:28 GMT
Ian it is good news that your parents are on your side and will back you up!!
Sherry always remember that you are not alone in this struggle, we are here!
Also, do you think coaching might help with some of the aspects that medication doesn't touch? I signed up for the free coaching that is being offered here, and already the coach has made a couple of useful suggestions that will help me keep things in order.
|
|
|
Post by sherry on Feb 23, 2009 23:33:26 GMT
Guys, Don't worry bout me I am a fighter. My outlook is a bit more positive these days. I have replied about the coaching and I am just waiting for the lady to get back to me. I do appreciate the support, you are a good group of ppl.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Feb 23, 2009 23:39:38 GMT
I expect if your parents didn't treat you well that will have caused you some emotional or/and psychological issues which have probably compounded your ADHD. I would think now that you have a better understanding of your self you will gradually be able to get some sanity into your life. Hopefully them medds will start to help you too. Maybe later you are not so chaotic you could try and get some CBT if that may help.
It was no secret that I was a bit special as a kid! when I was at primary school I remember having to go to the hospital for some reason. I don't know why but I remember being sat at the front of a lecture room full of men in white coats and they were asking me questions like did i like school and did I like play. I remember thinking it would be clever to say that I loved working and hated playing? I don't know why I lied or if they believed me, I was probably about 7 i think. I will have to ask my mum what that was all about. I am sure I remember them thinking I may be a genius for some reason but I think I managed to prove them wrong some how ;D
I sort of got a bit stressed with my mum at Christmas. I said I was having problems promoting myself for work because my confidence was low because of the mistakes I make etc. She told me how she felt a fraud in her job at times and you just have to get on with it. Thats why I was not sure how she would react. She did say at the end of the day you are just going to have to get on with it but agreed that a dx would probably help.
Anyway we shall see!
|
|