mrsh
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Post by mrsh on Jan 28, 2014 20:54:49 GMT
Good evening people! I have been doing ok until recently. The anger started again. Then today came the high It was scary and only lasted an hour or so but the restless energy and crazy shouting singing laughing clapping rhyming. I was driving myself mad but couldn't stop until I said help then cried. I cannot take this exhausting mood changes. The medication is not working at all and the stress of work judging my capability is only going to make things worse. Can anyone shed a light on this behaviour please? As I feel the depression hitting
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Post by Kathymel on Jan 28, 2014 21:43:12 GMT
Hello MrsH.
Long time no see. I can't help with even a guess at an explanation, I afraid. I wish I could.
It sounds like the mood swing happened incredibly fast and crashed really quickly, too. Way outside my experience.
When do you see your psych again? Can you get an emergency appointment? I think you need to talk to someone with some experience.
Hope you're managing to find a bit of peaceful space tonight. x
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mrsh
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Post by mrsh on Jan 28, 2014 21:54:04 GMT
Indeed it did, was vey intense and husband says it was the worst I have had. Didn't feel in control at all. I am going to phone psych and GP in the morning. It is taking a lot of my mental strength to admit that things are not right and work will have to wait. Not easy when 2 weeks ago I was ready and excited to go back after 9 months on sick. Then this happens. Not helpful when there are bills to pay. God I hate how I cannot cope with this condition Thank you Kathymel for your reply xx
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Post by Kathymel on Jan 28, 2014 22:12:20 GMT
Oh, you must be gutted after thinking you were on the mend enough to work! It doesn't help when there are money worries either.
I hope the psych/GP manage to be helpful tomorrow. Are they usually pretty good?
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mrsh
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Post by mrsh on Jan 28, 2014 22:19:50 GMT
Thank you! They can be if I can get an appointment fingers crossed I can xxx
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Post by Kathymel on Jan 28, 2014 22:23:59 GMT
My fingers are crossed too, then. x
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Post by Kathymel on Jan 28, 2014 22:24:58 GMT
p.s. Nice to see you on here again, even though it's in stressful circumstances.
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Post by JJ on Jan 29, 2014 0:27:20 GMT
Hi mrsh
I feel so sorry for you that you're still going through this stuff. I hope the psych can do something to help. Is the psych any kind of bipolar or adhd specialist? I just wonder if it isn't time for you to be referred somewhere with more expertise - like the Maudsley have specialists in both (at the same time) ....
I just can't imagine how exhausting and draining this all is for you
Like Kathy said, it is lovely to hear from you again, but such a shame in such circumstances....
If you feel up to it, come back after your appt and tell us what happened...
Sending you hugs and support xxxxxxx
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mrsh
Member posts quite a bit
Posts: 106
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Post by mrsh on Jan 29, 2014 9:33:07 GMT
Gp thinks it is the stress of going back to work and that I should push through and get over it. Usually I feel supported by her but I can't help but feel frustrated now. I understand why she has said it though and the same explanation had occurred to me. One thing is worrying me is that with or without meds this is what I do. I have periods of stability and then a big crash or a high then crash, so this is nothing new just last night was quite a bad one. I wish I had told her this. Waiting for contact from my psych which could be anytime. Have a feeling this blip may get me the sack today too
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Post by fuzzywuzzy on Jan 30, 2014 0:33:55 GMT
Hi mrshhope you're feeling a bit better GPs know very little about bipolar disorder.....if, as you say, you are like that with or without meds, then my feeling is that there is a mood disorder of sorts underneath the ADHD symptoms, even if it is a milder one (relatively speaking) like cyclothymia.....if so, this would make the mph boost a high when you're feeling more up anyway....and once you go up, then you get the crash...a small amount of mood stabiliser would stop this in my opinion, but your GP doesn't have the knowledge that you need to rely on....JJ is right in that the Maudsley do have specialists in both.....but they can be a little bit inclusive with just their own field.....a few people have mentioned Dr Chad....and when I looked him up it seems he has experience of both I really feel for you.....I hope things start to get better for you and less scary.....and that all is ok with work I know quite a lot on the subject, so happy to help more if you need it, here or by PM but understand totally if you don't want to x x x
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mrsh
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Post by mrsh on Feb 1, 2014 22:48:26 GMT
I still feel very narky and agitated at times. Now not able to get to sleep until a lot later than usual either. My psych had a meeting in Bolton but still called me back on his break which Was amazing! He thinks it is depression, which he openly admits doesn't explain me going a little crazy but does explain most of my other behaviours. We spoke about bipolar of which he brought up himself and we agreed that it isn't due to the lack in sustained periods of mania. I went back to work the next day as I don't think it is causing these issues. Plus losing my job would cause more problems. He wants to see me next week though to discuss moods and medication. Thank you for your reply xx
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Post by Kathymel on Feb 2, 2014 0:17:44 GMT
Glad your psych took it seriously and called you back. I hope you can get to the bottom of it.
How was work when you went back?
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Post by DKL - darkknightslover on Feb 2, 2014 10:32:31 GMT
If you don't get mania or sustained periods of mania, are you also ruling out mixed states? Where you have all the energy of mania with the low mood of depression? (this us provably massively oversimplified!) If you do you could be in the DSM4 spectrum of bipolar, but DSM5 has it down as "agitated depression" (- I think!) which unlike bipolar disorders doesn't need to be reported to the DVLA.
I know someone who was treated with lamotrigine which is typically used for treating a form of bipolar, as this person rapid-cycled on an SSRI which apparently usually a sure sign of a bipolar disorder. The person is now stable off meds, which is massively helped by having a very different life to when they were originally diagnosed, but has the clause of if issues arise again they can go back to lamotrigine as a non-typical anti-depressant.
Please bear in mind that this is a story of one person, and will not apply to many other people. I'm also going purely from memory, but if you're interested you can check out the relevant sections of the DSMs. I tell you about this in case it might be food for thought or useful.
Sent from my C6603 using proboards
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mrsh
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Posts: 106
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Post by mrsh on Feb 2, 2014 22:54:46 GMT
Thank you, it is very interesting. I will read up on it before my appointment. My moods are very cyclic. It is that age old saying when you are depressed - you have been well before! Argh that makes me mad. Yes well for a while then bang - depressed again. I always seem to come out of it myself. One day I wake up and the anger, sadness, irritability all goes and I feel able to just get on. Weird. Antidepressants never really worked for me. Only one made a difference - mirtazapine until my face went numb. It wasn't a huge difference but anxiety was less. I was high as a kite on Concerta xl at low doses but I felt happy! Until the damn thing wore off and I slept where I was. I would say my moods can be very mixed. Happy to the point of wanting to jump under a bus kind of sums it up. The highs drive me mad like I have to do stuff there and then but don't know what so go with it, it is scary. Wow I have babbled. I shall read up now xx
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donkeykebab
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Back on the waiting list for assessment... Again!
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Post by donkeykebab on Feb 2, 2014 23:22:38 GMT
Mrsh I would love to talk with you, but at present I'm on such a massive up I can't even focus on what I'm writing. (I am currently trying to 'take down the buffalo' with amitriptyline and rum/coke) but even that won't knock me out.
I just wanted to say in all the posts I've read to date, nobody has ever written such an exact description of how I get. I totally relate to what you describe. I'm afraid I have no answers, but just wanted to make contact with another 'cyclist'. It's bloody frightening ain't it
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mrsh
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Posts: 106
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Post by mrsh on Feb 2, 2014 23:35:46 GMT
Thank you donkey! I have been told I have amazing insight in to myself, but that has got me in trouble. Docs don't take you seriously. I usually hit the wine to chill me out but back to work for 8am so best just lie awake sober instead It is bloody scary! Rang all my mates to organise a pArty once, forgot I did it when they turned up I was sat in my pjs eating cheesecake feeling like a right tit. But on the plus they brought booze I have now read up! I seem to only fit Bipolar NOS as my symptoms of hypomaniA only last max 2 days. Thank you for your replies and amazing support as per the usual xx
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donkeykebab
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Back on the waiting list for assessment... Again!
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Post by donkeykebab on Feb 3, 2014 0:02:53 GMT
I always though I might be bipolar, but psych diagnosed me with borderline personality disorder. I think, possibly like you, it explains some of it... But there's always that last piece of the jigsaw missing
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mrsh
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Posts: 106
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Post by mrsh on Feb 3, 2014 0:22:46 GMT
Yeah I got bpd diagnosis too but my current psych is an ADHD specialist and he thinks not as adhd symptoms are more to blame. Think it is the childhood issues that have helped there. We are all different and these labels only go so far in describing us and the issues we face wether mental health, neurobiological or psychological or even all 3. It is difficult to find the answers. X
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Post by fuzzywuzzy on Feb 3, 2014 1:17:45 GMT
Hi guys....this is a very good book that might help.....or look up his website.....Dr Jim Phelps......enlightened psychs now recognise bipolar disorder on a spectrum..... There is huge ignorance in the UK..... x x x
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mrsh
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Posts: 106
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Post by mrsh on Feb 3, 2014 19:49:46 GMT
Thank you x
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mrsh
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Posts: 106
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Post by mrsh on Feb 8, 2014 0:00:23 GMT
Saw my psych today and I am now on respiridone as well as strattera so let's see how that helps these damned mood swings x
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Post by furiousfrog on Feb 8, 2014 17:43:58 GMT
Saw my psych today and I am now on respiridone as well as strattera so let's see how that helps these damned mood swings x I really do feel for you. Not the same cause but I've been getting huge mood swings with symptom rebound on my meds and they are just exhausting - you end up wanting to run away from the noise inside your own head. It sounds utterly gruelling, I really hope that the respiridone gives you some respite and an upwards turn. Please do update on how you get on and my thoughts are with you.
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Post by Kathymel on Feb 9, 2014 2:07:44 GMT
Fingers crossed the new meds do something positive, mrsh. How is work going now?
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mrsh
Member posts quite a bit
Posts: 106
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Post by mrsh on Feb 9, 2014 23:31:48 GMT
Hi there, well I think the reap uridine is making me itch. It is driving me mental and I am on a baby dose so no sleep help yet. Possibly feeling a little calmer I think but it really is too early to say. Hope the itching goes Work - I hate it, no idea why I am so negative. I could put up with all the same crap before but now I feel angry about staff politics. I certainly don't want to be there but I am doing it for now. Unless I have another melt down. I am too agitated and impatient to do this kind if job (care) these days. Fingers crossed that gets better or I will have to leave. It isn't a job you can do when feeling like that. Not fair on anyone. Thank you for the replies and concern xxx
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