Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jul 4, 2014 21:38:29 GMT
FFS, why does this keep happening? Just when I think I have a handle on things my brain decides it doesn't want to play ball anymore.
And then everything turns to shit. It's becoming tiresome.
|
|
|
Post by shapes on Jul 4, 2014 21:54:25 GMT
Sorry to hear that.
|
|
|
Post by arabianchiseler on Jul 4, 2014 23:16:36 GMT
FFS, why does this keep happening? Just when I think I have a handle on things my brain decides it doesn't want to play ball anymore. And then everything turns to shit. It's becoming tiresome. I know the feeling. So tired of being judged.... Of judging myself. I just want what everyone else has. It sucks having a hidden disability.
|
|
|
Post by greyblanket on Jul 6, 2014 12:54:33 GMT
I'm sorry I can't help, but what do people do when this happens?
I'm currently in this situation, and I feel a bit paralysed about how to move forward. I went away for a short while and was not really organised to go because I'd been very busy (obvs with the wrong things). And so am now totally disorganised since my return. I know I just need to snap into action and do the things that have piled up, but I have just looked at a simple task that I have to do, and it seems too much, and it's as if my anxiety level is so high that I can't focus, it is stopping me concentrate.
Am I not getting things done because I am anxious? Or am I anxious because I am not getting things done?
I know if I could relax and get on with things all would be well, but I'm having difficulty breaking this cycle.
Gb
|
|
|
Post by contrarymary on Jul 6, 2014 15:53:29 GMT
greyblanket I'm sorry things are so tough for you right now. and i'm also really relieved to know, because that is EXACTLY how things have been for me since i got back from a few days away too. it has been excruciatingly uncomfortable, and has taken a simply ENORMOUS amount of effort to do what might have been quite challenging but straightforward things. and any sort of doing has been impossible until i have procrastinated my head off, got very stressed, reacted as though the world was coming to an end and finally got the things done - well enough (not as well as i might have done) but either at the very last minute or past the deadline. causing so much unnecessary anxiety and pain. i have felt utterly exhausted, and thus struggling to function, and then doing something and being more exhausted. the only thing which has helped - and it has helped - was having yesterday as a day totally free from all human beings and using it to reset myself. ie getting enough sleep but getting up at a reasonable time (so i wanted to go to bed at a reasonable time) and spending chunks of time doing meditation and gentle yoga, the combo of which seems to make me feel a bit like a human being. today, in comparison to the last two weeks, felt like one of those days where things just roll along and work out fine, slightly in a dream, but i lived it really gently and things that i thought were going to be disastrous were just fine. i hope you find the thing that helps you to reset xx
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jul 6, 2014 21:54:54 GMT
There are times when I feel so alone I can't breathe, as though the floor is falling away and the walls are collapsing on top of me.
|
|
|
Post by manson88 on Jul 6, 2014 22:21:57 GMT
@countrymary I would love a week to myself in a hotel room. Yes strange & all it may seem.
A week away from all the stress and drama that modern day life brings.
A week to recharge to sleep with out being annoyed. To lie on without feeling guilty or go back to bed.
Go for a massage and really chill out and relax.
To watch what you want without the rest of the house coming to speak to you. To eat something in peace & not have to cook or wash up.
No thinking about deadlines and lists.. Oh it goes on,!!
Then get bored of it & go back to all the fuss & drama!! Lol
Sent from my GT-I9505 using proboards
|
|
|
Post by greyblanket on Jul 7, 2014 13:16:55 GMT
contrarymaryI am reassured, but also sorry that you are experiencing similar. Yes, the idea of having a day to reset is a good one. I am just wasting time being so stressed. I am trying hard not to feel stressed and to do deep breathing etc, but I still feel it in my chest and my face. And my ability to concentrate is 0. I'm trying to understand, maybe I just feel like this, and then that means that when I feel like this, I can't do anything. I met someone the other day who I don't know well, and who I see very infrequently, and on being asked how I was, I said that things had been very stressful, but hoped they would get better when I got on to an even keel. She burst out laughing and said, "Oh, you'll never get on to an even keel." I was shocked and embarrassed to hear this, and thought that this must just be how I appear to the world constantly worrying about the state of my personal disorganisation, and seeking the nirvana of organisation. I always feel, if only I could get things done everything would be ok, but maybe that just fuels my stress. I'm wondering if the stress comes first and then that makes me disorganised and not get things done, but I am attributing the stress to the fact that I haven't done things. And so on, and so on. I wonder if it would be helpful to try to look at it differently. gb
|
|
|
Post by greyblanket on Jul 7, 2014 13:20:59 GMT
There are times when I feel so alone I can't breathe, as though the floor is falling away and the walls are collapsing on top of me. This does sound very bad, but I just don't know what I could suggest to make those feelings go away, I have my own physical manifestations of stress and anxiety, I am just going to have a short run to try to get rid of them. I am also very sorry I have hijacked your thread. gb
|
|
|
Post by petra on Jul 7, 2014 14:49:55 GMT
I find intense exercise gets rid of the stress at the time, but it resurfaces straight after - if only all this energy could be channelled into getting stuff done - but it would appear not.
|
|
|
Post by petra on Jul 7, 2014 14:51:34 GMT
firstinflight - are things any better now? You sound in a really bad place x
|
|
|
Post by Bee on Jul 15, 2014 12:35:33 GMT
greyblanket I'm sorry things are so tough for you right now. and i'm also really relieved to know, because that is EXACTLY how things have been for me since i got back from a few days away too. it has been excruciatingly uncomfortable, and has taken a simply ENORMOUS amount of effort to do what might have been quite challenging but straightforward things. and any sort of doing has been impossible until i have procrastinated my head off, got very stressed, reacted as though the world was coming to an end and finally got the things done - well enough (not as well as i might have done) but either at the very last minute or past the deadline. causing so much unnecessary anxiety and pain. i have felt utterly exhausted, and thus struggling to function, and then doing something and being more exhausted. I haven't read the whole thread, so don't know if anyone has explained this already (I wanted to reply before I forgot!) So apologies if this has been covered- Or if you already know! But I suppose it might be helpful to someone When I was being assessed by the Psychiatrist, I told him about this being a problem for me. I know I have all this wrok to do, but I can't do it. I don't know why, I just can't. I will avoid doing all the things I ought to be doing, and they will pile up and pile up and I get more anxious and stressed and eventually it becomes too much and there's a breaking point. I will either do the work, or do something to damage it beyond repair. So either wash the dishes. Or break them. Either I finish my coursework. Or I quit. I told him it wasn't very helpful! But that sometimes my best work is done at that breaking point. Sometimes I find I can concentrate, and do things well - albeit hurriedly. Sometimes things are just scribbly mess though. He explained that as ADHDers we don't have that same stimulation that gets NTs to do the mundane stuff. So our bodies have to do it a different way. He told me the adrenaline that I feel when I realise it's now or never, is my body's way of stimulating me to what needs doing. And sometimes it works! Just the right amount of adrenaline for the task. And other times it's too much and there's just panic and no useful action. (Breaking the dishes) So that horrible anxiety is pretty much my way of ever getting things done. I'm not really sure what you can do with this information. But it helped me to understand my odd behaviour a bit better! x Bee x
|
|
|
Post by shiveringsky on Jul 15, 2014 13:00:24 GMT
There are times when I feel so alone I can't breathe, as though the floor is falling away and the walls are collapsing on top of me. I hear you. And time seems to stand still in this little crysalis of hopeless nothing. It feels like it has been that way forever and you can't connect to the times when it doesn't feel that way and so it always has been? But despite that, time is actually moving forward around the little bubbleworld you'd rather not be in and this dip will even into a plateau again. I wish I could say something useful here. The best I have is... we're listening and keep breathing, even when it hurts. Let it out of your system as best you can but don't let it carry you away with it. We all need a weep and it is a right weighty boulder to carry, this mind stuff. x
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jul 18, 2014 22:12:43 GMT
I decided this week that I needed to give up drinking and smoking, and OH MY GOD IT'S RUBBISH.
|
|
|
Post by petra on Jul 19, 2014 0:01:27 GMT
I guess poor decision making is part and parcel of having adhd.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jul 19, 2014 22:34:15 GMT
I guess poor decision making is part and parcel of having adhd. Well, as it turns out I only managed to last 4 days without a drink so I guess you're right.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jul 25, 2014 18:17:04 GMT
ok, so i think it's safe to say that transitioning from dex to atomoxetine sent me on a bit of an emotional rollercoaster for a while. Much more steady now,
|
|
|
Post by contrarymary on Jul 26, 2014 0:50:34 GMT
glad you are feeling better
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Aug 1, 2014 22:48:10 GMT
So, I'm finding that after taking stimulant meds every day for just over a year, it's a little difficult to stop...
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Aug 1, 2014 22:50:05 GMT
...as in I'm constantly tired and irritable and I really wish everyone would JUST FUCK OFF AND LEAVE ME ALONE. Hopefully this will pass in time.
|
|
|
Post by petra on Aug 2, 2014 0:03:45 GMT
It should be illegal for life to be this hard for this long.
|
|
|
Post by scatterbrain on Aug 2, 2014 9:20:55 GMT
...as in I'm constantly tired and irritable and I really wish everyone would JUST FUCK OFF AND LEAVE ME ALONE. Hopefully this will pass in time. I've been feeling this lately too. Want to take myself off to a dessert Island with a snorkel and a few books! Hope things improve for you soon.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Aug 6, 2014 19:08:44 GMT
Sorry, I should really make it clear that wasn't directed at any of the lovely people on here.
I think I'm going to delete my account because all I seem to do nowadays is come on after I've been drinking and post angry rants. That's not the way I want to be anymore, and unless I cut myself off i know it's going to keep happening.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Aug 6, 2014 19:13:43 GMT
And I just want to say thanks to everyone for the last 3 years. It's been emotional.
bye.
FiF
|
|