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Post by blaze on Aug 12, 2014 14:49:04 GMT
As in disability pride/nd pride, anyone else with me?
After having had my first proper nosey through this forum i am feeling slightly deflated at sm of the more negative views of adhd i have noticed. (spouses/12 steps to 'fix' us etc~ no disrespect to others views)
Im not suggesting my (v severe) adhd isnt incredibley difficult, but i jst wdnt be who i am w out it, and w out embracing all of the advantages of adhd i think id drown under the challenges. I have two girls, who v likely have my adhd, id be heartbroken if they go out in the world unable to find a positive view of adhd from others (as all i heard was negative until i found my way to the benefits). I want nts to know im proud of my difference, im sick of comments like 'i have two lovely/normal kids as well as my adhd one'. Maybe if we have pride in our adhd it will mean nts become less disparaging, less degrogatory. I have physical disabilitys that id change in a heartbeat, but if changing my adhd meant loosing all the great things about having a differently wired brain tgen id never opt for that. Maybe this is jst a motgers worries, but if we arnt proud of our adhd how can the world ever have a place for us tgat will be proud and appriciative of the advantages of our difference.
Iv came accross people w nds pride, aspie pride, dyspraxia pride, disability pride, anyone join me in being proud.of their adhd?
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Post by scatterbrain on Aug 12, 2014 15:35:31 GMT
From what I've read it seems the hyperactive types seem to have more pride than the inattentives - poss because they are more driven and achieve a lot more.
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Post by blaze on Aug 12, 2014 15:45:29 GMT
From what I've read it seems the hyperactive types seem to have more pride than the inattentives - poss because they are more driven and achieve a lot more. my old dx says hyper, my current uptodate one says innattentive. I am hyper at times in.social situations and if my sleep gets fk up, but due to having chronic fatigue im def.not driven to anything, and im not.ambitous in a traditional sence, quite happy w my under achieving (mediocre degree, turned down promotions, refused offer to publish work). I jst accept that while my brain doesnt work well in.smways, it excells in others, and this is only different, not wrong or broken. And from my pov nt.brains are often.devastatingly limited.also, they cant think as quick as i do, cant.see out of the box automaticly, dont empathise the way i can, they struggle more at managing otgers emotions, are less adaptable, lack my.creativity. to me.these sound like.disabilitys, only tge worlds set up to cater to their norm not.nd norm. I think theres room in this world for all of us to gave.pride.in however woundefuly our brains.function. This is what id want for my girls, if i cant model pride in my different.brain how will tgey ever feel that way about themselves
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Post by danherts on Aug 12, 2014 19:13:49 GMT
I'm with ya, this popped up before and it was depressing how many people said they'd eradicate their ADHD in a heartbeat.
I'm still learning what is ADHD, what's me and what's perhaps something else but they are all just a meaningless connection of traits really with observable denominators rather than hard neuroscience as the binder.
Still whatever the cause and whether disability or natural variance we can relate to the experience of those that share our diagnosis.
Regardless of what is ADHD I wouldn't swap the things that make me different from those that are 'normal'. Meds help with paying attention to the mundane and completing the excessive amount of daily tasks we have to suffer in this civilised world, but even the idea of Strattera to me was a step too far, a 24 hour 'cure' where I don't get a chance to remember who I am at all.
I feel that becoming 'normal' would be a complete eradification of who I am and that some of things I value about my perspective which are fundamentally linked to my perception would be unsustainable. I don't just see my non-NTness as being the symptoms on the DSM but something far deeper, though I may be wrong.
I take the meds for the same basic reasons as everyone else, to reduce the core symptoms, but I think essentially it is to overcome the anxiety caused by others inacceptance of being this way tied in with the traits valued and demanded by society. My mission is to rediscover myself and go back to being the person that was crushed out of me by the passive insistence to conform.
I can envision a world set up very diffently where I wouldn't struggle half as much if at all, but at least in this one I feel like I can see the truth, and the worst part of it is that a lot of those who are oppressed don't realise it and end up blaming themselves.
If I could take a pill that would be the equivalent of what happened to Winston Smith with a tear rolling down his cheek, that would be the worst thing in the world, and sometimes I do fear that is where we're going, society adapting us rather than society adapting seems to have things the wrong way around and the prospect of things like in utero genetic screening is just a bit scary and eugenics-esque.
There is already talk of this giving parents the 'opportunity' to abort autistic children, but where do you draw the line on what is an acceptable deviation from normality? Wouldn't it be better to accept that society's expectations are actually the cause of a lot of the problems autistics face, wouldn't it be better to treat that instead?
Everyone is a product of their genetics and environment over which they have no control and should be able to exist with self esteem and dignity without being excused as defective.
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unohoncho
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Post by unohoncho on Aug 12, 2014 20:17:18 GMT
it was depressing how many people said they'd eradicate their ADHD in a heartbeat I'm still trying to work out what (if any) advantages ADHD brings to my life, after another really shitty day at work today owing to my inability to complete jobs, I'm guessing there are few for me personally Got to wait to start Concerta so I'll reserve judgement until I've had a month on it and how it affects me from a personality point of view and whether I'm a better person with my ADHD controlled than uncontrolled. Interesting comment about those with Hyperactivity being more driven and logically I can see how that might occur, inattentive for me so I don't feel that I've accomplished anything to feel proud of in my lifetime to date outside of having my son, which in actual fact has nothing to do with ADHD
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Post by danherts on Aug 12, 2014 21:05:14 GMT
it was depressing how many people said they'd eradicate their ADHD in a heartbeat I'm still trying to work out what (if any) advantages ADHD brings to my life, after another really shitty day at work today owing to my inability to complete jobs, I'm guessing there are few for me personally Got to wait to start Concerta so I'll reserve judgement until I've had a month on it and how it affects me from a personality point of view and whether I'm a better person with my ADHD controlled than uncontrolled. For me it's not about that, are there advantages to being gay, black or a woman? I do feel it helps me in certain ways but aside from that if something is fundamental to who you are and you suffer for that due to the odds being stacked against you there should be a sense of pride in who you are and an expectation of others to accept and adapt to you rather than the other way around a la gay pride, feminism, black power etc.
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unohoncho
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Post by unohoncho on Aug 12, 2014 21:42:30 GMT
It's hard for me personally to be proud about a shit part of me that continues to get even more shitter and affected my life in more negative ways than positive. Bullying in school, no qualifications, massive debt, divorce, more jobs than I can count on two pairs of hands, few friends, drug abuse - If I could counter the negatives with positive experiences because of ADHD I'd be a much happier and positive person and find it easier to accept that it isn't a genetic defect I'd like to see a positive symptoms list rather than a negative one that I could relate to
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Post by blaze on Aug 13, 2014 6:11:49 GMT
how i parent is significantly influenced by my adhd and its advantages, i am, like many adults w adhd, v gd w others emotions, i am.spontaneous, fun, inuative, empathetic, entusiastic, adaptable, already a natural at going w the fliw, as well as not caring about the mess or caos little ones bring, all of which i can see have links to adhd strengths, i also see dealing w the frustrations and challenges of adhd has given me determination quite surpassing others, and iv learnt to choose not to.care about others judgenents, both of which were a huge assest, especialy to nursing twins w feeding.problems, right through to toddlerhood. I personaly loveed strattera when i was on it, and hopefuly will be back on it soon. Meds can.be a great assistance if they are the right ones for you, but they only agument a part of brain function that causes us difficulty in day to day life, they dont change us, and personaly im glad of that because i dont feel i need changed quote author=" unohoncho" source="/post/82909/thread" timestamp="1407874638"] it was depressing how many people said they'd eradicate their ADHD in a heartbeat I'm still trying to work out what (if any) advantages ADHD brings to my life, after another really shitty day at work today owing to my inability to complete jobs, I'm guessing there are few for me personally Got to wait to start Concerta so I'll reserve judgement until I've had a month on it and how it affects me from a personality point of view and whether I'm a better person with my ADHD controlled than uncontrolled. Interesting comment about those with Hyperactivity being more driven and logically I can see how that might occur, inattentive for me so I don't feel that I've accomplished anything to feel proud of in my lifetime to date outside of having my son, which in actual fact has nothing to do with ADHD [/quote]
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Post by blaze on Aug 13, 2014 6:14:52 GMT
oh and its not about acoplishing anything, its jst about being proud of who i am, that doesnt need to involve achieving anything quote author=" unohoncho" source="/post/82909/thread" timestamp="1407874638"] it was depressing how many people said they'd eradicate their ADHD in a heartbeat I'm still trying to work out what (if any) advantages ADHD brings to my life, after another really shitty day at work today owing to my inability to complete jobs, I'm guessing there are few for me personally Got to wait to start Concerta so I'll reserve judgement until I've had a month on it and how it affects me from a personality point of view and whether I'm a better person with my ADHD controlled than uncontrolled. Interesting comment about those with Hyperactivity being more driven and logically I can see how that might occur, inattentive for me so I don't feel that I've accomplished anything to feel proud of in my lifetime to date outside of having my son, which in actual fact has nothing to do with ADHD [/quote]
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Post by blaze on Aug 13, 2014 6:18:58 GMT
exactly, its about being proud to.accept who we are and our equality, rather than taking on a view we need fixed to be normal. Thats not to.say we dont continue to.try and manage any difficulties, or.improove ourselves as anyone does, jst that we be proud of the way we are uote author=" danherts" source="/post/82913/thread" timestamp="1407877514"] I'm still trying to work out what (if any) advantages ADHD brings to my life, after another really shitty day at work today owing to my inability to complete jobs, I'm guessing there are few for me personally Got to wait to start Concerta so I'll reserve judgement until I've had a month on it and how it affects me from a personality point of view and whether I'm a better person with my ADHD controlled than uncontrolled. For me it's not about that, are there advantages to being gay, black or a woman? I do feel it helps me in certain ways but aside from that if something is fundamental to who you are and you suffer for that due to the odds being stacked against you there should be a sense of pride in who you are and an expectation of others to accept and adapt to you rather than the other way around a la gay pride, feminism, black power etc.[/quote]
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Post by blaze on Aug 13, 2014 6:30:36 GMT
iv already listed many Thinking outside of the box, being a more creative and resourseful problem.solver, being.creative, seeing things from a different perpective, being more senstive, empathetic, intuative, adaptable, persistant, higher iq, nd hundreds more. With all.due respect all of the things you.list as a consequence of adhd arnt things adhd directly causes. Bullying for a start obviously isnt caused by adhd, or you, its caused by other people. However, i dont want to argue that others shd have adhd pride, how you experience it is up to you, i.wasnt.saying others shd feel.proud, i was asking if anyone does in the hope to find others who feel the way i do. Im not saying.there arnt.times iv felt.bitter and resentful, but i can see my adhd a.strengths and i wdnt swap these for anything. My perspective is fairly heavily influenced by having phsyical.disabilitys that are purely that, disabling (and painful, exhausting, draining) and in comparison i can v much see adhd as a much appriciated difference, not a disability, because however much it may limit my life in smway it balances out in the advantages. My physical disability has no benefit, apart from the determination and compassion.iv developed while struggling.w it as an indirect consequence as opposed to.a direct consequence of adhd wired brain quote author=" unohoncho" source="/post/82916/thread" timestamp="1407879750"]It's hard for me personally to be proud about a shit part of me that continues to get even more shitter and affected my life in more negative ways than positive. Bullying in school, no qualifications, massive debt, divorce, more jobs than I can count on two pairs of hands, few friends, drug abuse - If I could counter the negatives with positive experiences because of ADHD I'd be a much happier and positive person and find it easier to accept that it isn't a genetic defect I'd like to see a positive symptoms list rather than a negative one that I could relate to [/quote]
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Post by blaze on Aug 13, 2014 6:40:18 GMT
agree w everything Although, i love stratterra, and actualy feel its stimulants that change me, force my brain to focus in.ways thats unnatural to it and leave me feeling unlike me, disconnected smhow. Stratterra i find lets me be my scattered self while smhow making organisation easier for me so i dont end up exhausted from trying to manage day to day stuff. It jst makes it easier to be me. I guess this wd.be the difference in reaction to.medication. i can understand parents wishing.their unborn child doesnt have an nd brain, i wdnt have chosen.this for.my girls (undx but currently v evident) but actively manipulating genes is terrifying. That said if i cd have magiced away the risk of them having my hypermobility i wd have, i wdnt wish this agonisnling pain on.anyone, so im guessing anyone who wd abort/geneticly engenere a child w out adhd/asd etc probably sees it the same way, which is heartbreaking in a way words cd never be.enough to.convey quote author=" danherts" source="/post/82904/thread" timestamp="1407870829"]I'm with ya, this popped up before and it was depressing how many people said they'd eradicate their ADHD in a heartbeat. I'm still learning what is ADHD, what's me and what's perhaps something else but they are all just a meaningless connection of traits really with observable denominators rather than hard neuroscience as the binder. Still whatever the cause and whether disability or natural variance we can relate to the experience of those that share our diagnosis. Regardless of what is ADHD I wouldn't swap the things that make me different from those that are 'normal'. Meds help with paying attention to the mundane and completing the excessive amount of daily tasks we have to suffer in this civilised world, but even the idea of Strattera to me was a step too far, a 24 hour 'cure' where I don't get a chance to remember who I am at all. I feel that becoming 'normal' would be a complete eradification of who I am and that some of things I value about my perspective which are fundamentally linked to my perception would be unsustainable. I don't just see my non-NTness as being the symptoms on the DSM but something far deeper, though I may be wrong. I take the meds for the same basic reasons as everyone else, to reduce the core symptoms, but I think essentially it is to overcome the anxiety caused by others inacceptance of being this way tied in with the traits valued and demanded by society. My mission is to rediscover myself and go back to being the person that was crushed out of me by the passive insistence to conform. I can envision a world set up very diffently where I wouldn't struggle half as much if at all, but at least in this one I feel like I can see the truth, and the worst part of it is that a lot of those who are oppressed don't realise it and end up blaming themselves. If I could take a pill that would be the equivalent of what happened to Winston Smith with a tear rolling down his cheek, that would be the worst thing in the world, and sometimes I do fear that is where we're going, society adapting us rather than society adapting seems to have things the wrong way around and the prospect of things like in utero genetic screening is just a bit scary and eugenics-esque. There is already talk of this giving parents the 'opportunity' to abort autistic children, but where do you draw the line on what is an acceptable deviation from normality? Wouldn't it be better to accept that society's expectations are actually the cause of a lot of the problems autistics face, wouldn't it be better to treat that instead? Everyone is a product of their genetics and environment over which they have no control and should be able to exist with self esteem and dignity without being excused as defective.[/quote]
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Post by MrSelfish on Aug 13, 2014 15:17:47 GMT
Is it fair to surmise that you want acceptance from the world? Can I ask you a question? Do you truly love and accept who you are? Personally, I would prefer the sum of my actions garners the respect/acceptance of others. I wouldn't be happy with a forced opt-in to 'love thy neighbour' nor would I hope to command it from others by default. I believe the best thing we can do for our kids is to carefully observe what they will 'throw themselves' into and help them focus on this one area where they appear to excel. Help, not dictate. That's what the medication is for
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Post by blaze on Aug 13, 2014 16:18:08 GMT
Thats a strange and innaccurate sumation. I have acceptance and respect from loved ones, valued colleges (past) Im in no way in need of others approval, but i find it sad and misguided when theres so much negative language around adhd, ignorant assumptions etc. My girls are only toddlers, but v bright, and as i had many areas i excelled in im not worried about that. What worries me is that if they get dx w adhd, which i expect is likely, they will encounter the usual negative missassumptions and degrogatory views that seem standard (and unchallenged) in society, and not only as a mother do i find that worrying, but i find it heartbreaking that anyone wd see my differently wired brain (that friends, my partner and colleges have allways found amazing) as smthing wrong in need of.being.fixed to be in line w the norm. Im proud of my difference, and im comfortable to say so to nts, so was woundering if there were otgers who had adhd pride, rather than the freqnt negative attitude iv seen uote author="MrSelfish" source="/post/82935/thread" timestamp="1407943067"]Is it fair to surmise that you want acceptance from the world? Can I ask you a question? Do you truly love and accept who you are? Personally, I would prefer the sum of my actions garners the respect/acceptance of others. I wouldn't be happy with a forced opt-in to 'love thy neighbour' nor would I hope to command it from others by default. I believe the best thing we can do for our kids is to carefully observe what they will 'throw themselves' into and help them focus on this one area where they appear to excel. Help, not dictate. That's what the medication is for [/quote]
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Post by danherts on Aug 13, 2014 16:35:39 GMT
Is it fair to surmise that you want acceptance from the world? If this is directed at me then no, not as you see it. It has nothing to do with political correctness at all.
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unohoncho
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Post by unohoncho on Aug 18, 2014 9:05:26 GMT
With all.due respect all of the things you.list as a consequence of adhd arnt things adhd directly causes. Bullying for a start obviously isnt caused by adhd, or you, its caused by other people. Disagree.... If I didn't have ADHD, I wouldn't have acted the way I did and become a target for bullying... I was a prime target to get a reaction for their entertainment, which inevitability got me into more trouble rather than them. So the root cause of bullying in my case... was ADHD
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Post by blaze on Aug 18, 2014 11:47:42 GMT
thats like saying the cause of racial abuse is the person being the wrong race, its not, its the bullies ignorance thats the cause. Whenever anyone is bullied the fault lies w the bullies, and societys lack of appriciation.of difference. If you have adhd and others had beem.educated, elightened, accepting then you wdnt have been bullied either. quote author=" unohoncho" source="/post/83028/thread" timestamp="1408352726"] With all.due respect all of the things you.list as a consequence of adhd arnt things adhd directly causes. Bullying for a start obviously isnt caused by adhd, or you, its caused by other people. Disagree.... If I didn't have ADHD, I wouldn't have acted the way I did and become a target for bullying... I was a prime target to get a reaction for their entertainment, which inevitability got me into more trouble rather than them. So the root cause of bullying in my case... was ADHD [/quote]
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unohoncho
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Post by unohoncho on Aug 18, 2014 13:42:20 GMT
thats like saying the cause of racial abuse is the person being the wrong race, its not, its the bullies ignorance thats the cause. Whenever anyone is bullied the fault lies w the bullies, and societys lack of appriciation.of difference Yes if you want to take an Egalitarian viewpoint in 2014, no if you want to take a realistic viewpoint from 1980's schooling based on my (and countless 1000's of others) real-life experiences - I could blame social stigma and lack of respect from the bullies, but why when there was no education as there is now ? The fact remains that I was bullied because I acted/behaved differently, if I acted like the normal kids and fitted in, I wouldn't have been a target Were you in secondary education during the 1980's or earlier, were you ever persisentely and progressively bullied with even the teachers turning a blind eye ? Just interested if your viewpoint is influenced by reasoning or experience ?
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Post by blaze on Aug 18, 2014 14:55:35 GMT
i was born 82, so education in primary school.during the eighties (in.a v.backward town until i was 15) I have been buillied for whole number of reasons, my mother being single, working and my illigitamacy for a start (see v v backward for the 80s/90s). I have certainly been builied for being hyper/distracted/getting my words muddled/spacing out (also due to pstd) and a bunch of other things that cd be attributed to adhd, but that isnt the fault of adhd, thats the fault of bullies. It doesnt matter where people are educated about adhd or not, its about being educated that people are all different and thats ok and under no circumstances is it ok to try and tear others down. a bully is responsible for bullying others, teachers are responsible for turning a blind eye. [ Also, re fitting in, no one actuapy fits in bar a small few. If we say adhd is tge cause of being buillied then where does that end, is being short the cause of.bullying, being crap at maths, is liking different.music an excuse.for bullying, if we can honestly lye the responsibility for.bullying w the.bullys themselves then where does it end? Legaly speaking its the bullys who are.responsible, legaly we recognise that however far from the social norms people are it is not acceptable to bully them, even murderers are protected from vigliante justice and attacks from others by our laws. My adhd isnt the cause of bullying. It isnt the cause of my mediocare degree (uni not providing adaquate support and reasonable adjustments.is in part) adhd isnt the cause of my compulsive spend and debt at that time (not been medicated and knowing how to manage it is, as well as the dysfunctional relationship w money passed.down by my parents), its not the.cause of being used/abused by friends or parnters (but my honesty, guilability, senstiveity are cartainly part.of.adhd for many and.along w many other factors left me.vulnerable) Its the difference between the social model of disability and the medical one. In the latter a person in a wheel chair is at a disadvantage because shelves are all too high in the supermarket, in the former if all the shelves are low enough for the wheelchair users then its walking people who are at a disadalvantage. Its about how much of the.disability is social constructed. Person first, disability second, rather than seeing people as disabled first. br] uote author=" unohoncho" source="/post/83036/thread" timestamp="1408369340"] thats like saying the cause of racial abuse is the person being the wrong race, its not, its the bullies ignorance thats the cause. Whenever anyone is bullied the fault lies w the bullies, and societys lack of appriciation.of difference Yes if you want to take an Egalitarian viewpoint in 2014, no if you want to take a realistic viewpoint from 1980's schooling based on my (and countless 1000's of others) real-life experiences - I could blame social stigma and lack of respect from the bullies, but why when there was no education as there is now ? The fact remains that I was bullied because I acted/behaved differently, if I acted like the normal kids and fitted in, I wouldn't have been a target Were you in secondary education during the 1980's or earlier, were you ever persisentely and progressively bullied with even the teachers turning a blind eye ? Just interested if your viewpoint is influenced by reasoning or experience ? [/quote]
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Post by supine on Aug 18, 2014 16:27:07 GMT
I used to get bullied, but I don't think it had anything to do with ADHD. In fact, ADHD probably helped me stop it because I reached a point where I felt I didn't have much to lose, so they would bully me in private, and I would ridicule them in front of a whole class because I could think rings around them. Of course it got worse before it got better With regards to the original question, I could say that I am proud of what I have achieved *considering* that I have ADHD, I don't think I would be proud of having ADHD, and I don't think I accept that not having ADHD would necessarily make me 'less' of a person now. When I started on meds and suddenly stopped shooting off my foot, stuffing it in my mouth and then tripping over and choking on it, I started making real progress in both my professional and personal development. On one hand I have been training for 40+ years with mental 'weights' on so I now have some benefits from the mental training I received from having to cope with ADHD, but on the other hand I wouldn't have had to wait 40+ years to discover that side of me
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Post by blaze on Aug 18, 2014 18:37:34 GMT
www.psychologytoday.com/blog/my-life-aspergers/201310/what-is-neurodiversityare we allowed to post links here? www.wired.com/2013/04/neurodiversity/while the xmen references have so many problems, the reference to h g wells strikes a cord demiurgicdenken.wordpress.com/2012/11/01/mental-disorder-neurodiversity-the-first-stages-of-evolving-into-x-men/if i had a magic wand and cd wish away only the negative aspects of my adhd i wd, but its so entangled with whats positive in me, either directly from a miswired brain or from dealing with this, and these strengths are things i wd never wish to risk depriving my children of benefiting from (especialy if they have my adhd) that if me not having my adhd meant not having some of these positive things that make up who i am i wdnt risk it, id rather accept my challenges and be proud of who i am, jst as i am. while this is a rather crued analogy its a bit like if i had a magic wand id wish away my stretch marks, if i cd do so in isolation, but they are there because i grew such big healthy twins and without the obvious effect on my body i likely wd never have made it to term which wd have meant so much risk to my girls, so im happy and proud of what my thre yrolds refer to as my tiger stripes (with the added roaring noises ever time they point them out) because they are jst part of what happened when i got my gorgeous little whilwinds.
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Post by contrarymary on Aug 18, 2014 18:55:50 GMT
interesting links
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 19, 2014 22:54:22 GMT
I don't really know where I fit into the spectrum of "ADHD pride". I'll stand up for my human right not to be prejudiced by societal norms, yet at the same time, I'm convinced that human existence will be a temporary phenomenon whose demise will end up somewhere within the spectrum of a rapid and self-inflicted demise and a slow lingering stumble towards the Universe's natural end. That leaves me cold when worrying about my position within any social strata - which for me is what being proud is all about. But I suppose if my frontal lobe system's dysfunction can somehow be celebrated, then perhaps I should wear a badge of honour of some sort at least and rejoice that I will no longer have to put up with its foibles when I'm dead. :-)
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Post by blaze on Aug 20, 2014 8:35:48 GMT
Confused, are you saying your pride cms from your social status?? Is this what other people feel?
Certainly i know plenty of people who do, many of whom turn my stomach like my inlaws who think only of money and look down at everyone. I have friends who are wounderful, gracious people but who enivatabley tie up doing a gd job and earning a high wage (a couple of whom litteraly owe their entire degree to me writing their dissertations for them) and i think my oh to an extent sees pride at work for him as earning well, but thats partly about the industry hes in, he doesnt view personal pride.like that and sees things like being.a gd dad and decent person as of much greater importance.
Lots of people i know dont link achiving/social status w pride in anyway (probably why i love them). Certainly concepts.like gay pride etc arnt about status in anyway, jst about being proud of being honest about who they are and being open and honest about it. Maybe this is the difference, i tell everyone and anyone about my adhd, its part of who i am and am proud of being myself rather than hiding and beinf ashamed. (maybe u shdnt? Im pretty sure its linked to potential enployers not calling me back about the v small part time job i am v over qualified/over experienced for..... Previous employers were v happy i was so open about it, and give me the best references possible....)
I jst havnt ever taken any account of social status, i turned down a place at a v gd uni because relocating to it wd have been too much for me, iv turned down
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Post by blaze on Aug 20, 2014 8:39:21 GMT
Promitions and offers of extra training.... Maybe i shdnt have, especialy now im in the position of trying to figure out how to work around school hrs once my kids start next yr....
I jst prefer whats managable, small house to clean, v close to gd schools so i can walk them on the school run, not traveling too far for hols because the organisation becomes too mucg, no fancy clothes that need ironed or cant get muck all over them.... Doesnt fit well w social status but i prefer happiness
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Post by Deleted on Aug 20, 2014 8:59:27 GMT
In part. But pride for me is an emotive stance encompassing both an arrogance towards one's status and a belonging to a tribe or a warm sense of accomplishment. Sometimes when you see this enacted by groups it becomes distasteful. I'm not criticising per se, just mindful that ADHD is what it is, a general brain dysfunction that will be further atomised and categorised into disparate areas of mental health as understanding develops...... and that's what I prefer to concentrate on.
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Post by MrSelfish on Aug 20, 2014 15:28:34 GMT
In part. But pride for me is an emotive stance encompassing both an arrogance towards one's status and a belonging to a tribe or a warm sense of accomplishment. Sometimes when you see this enacted by groups it becomes distasteful. I'm not criticising per se, just mindful that ADHD is what it is, a general brain dysfunction that will be further atomised and categorised into disparate areas of mental health as understanding develops...... and that's what I prefer to concentrate on. Do you write for a living? You seem quite passionate about words. Like a chef who like to explore with the exotic I'm hetero. I don't understand or relate to gays. I have gay friends etc and they're cool (one even propositioned me?!) but I don't want my ADHD identity, of sorts, borrowing someone else's lunch money! blaze, apologies if I offended you above. You go to any of the support groups btw? I think you should if not. Everyone in this thread should go to one this month! Bristol has been touted as a central point for most? I've come to realise that one of my coping strategies has been to justify all my actions as sound. As far as bad habits go, it's a catch22. I'm almost never depressed (seems common on here - perhaps I'm kidding myself tho, who knows) but I seldom consider others before myself when I believe I am right about something. Not good. I could probably blame impulsivity for that? I've rationalised this as follows: I live in a world where decisions and choice is 50,000 shades of grey. I consider too many options and seldom decide on the final outcome. Exhausting. Those rare occasions when I see the outcome as black and white... I seize. For whatever reason, those moments happen a lot in certain sitiations. This forum being one. Perhaps some need to prove myself. I don't feel the compulsion in work anymore, for example. Every conversation I used to have would be telling someone how they could do something better. I would love someone to do this with me but most ppl seem to hate it (or my delivery of these perceived benefits lol) and resent kills these relationships like a hot knife through butter. Anyway, watched a film this week. Divergent. Worth a watch I think Also, it was nice of the Aspergers guy to mention us on that link above. Kinda cool to see there are others on the spectrum trying to raise awareness. I'm starting to liken the spectrum to a tightrope... but in a good way
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Post by blaze on Aug 20, 2014 16:16:56 GMT
Not offended at all, it was jst such a strange (innaccurate) thing to get from what iv said.
I dont go to groups, i dont think.i shd either! Maybe if i ever have the luxary of time.... (i have twin toddlers) but while im sure adhd support groups wd be a wounderful.experience i think chronic pain support groups wd be.much higher on my priority list if time ever becomes available.
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