Post by mrbuildy on Sept 14, 2014 12:26:42 GMT
Like many things with ADHD, I tend to become aware of certain aspects only when they become a prevalent part of my life.
My big one at the moment is trusting/respecting someone who has broken my trust.
This isn't in a scornful/vengeful/vindictive/bitter manner at all; on the whole I'd say I'm quite a happy person; however, I have noticed certain events can irrevocably break my trust in a person and when that happens (though I may still get on with that person), they forever remain in my mind, as someone who is never to be trusted on my part. It's not something I've discussed with anyone outside of my family, as there's no-one in my social circle who has ADHD (apart from family members).
The situation (SKIP HERE)
- I was given work by my boss which isn't in my job description, but I got on with anyway, as I didn't mind and they were short in that department.
- After two weeks of it I developed mild carpal tunnel.
- Took two weeks sick leave (boss paid for it).
- Came back to work, with sick note, exempting me from more of the type of work that caused the problem.
- Given more of the same work by my boss (put on the spot, last second "you can do this can't you, it's all there is?")
- Carpal tunnel came back.
- three weeks off work incapacity.
Ever since I've come back, despite all symptoms gone, I've found I just can't trust him, I no longer hold him in the same regard, I don't find any of his jokes funny any more, certain comments he makes I tend to ignore (regardless of whether they are constructive or even intended to have no insult/offence) and my respect for him has evaporated completely.
Does anyone else have this problem?
I know a lot of people would say that it's resentment or bitterness, but it's really not, I know how those emotions feel (really destructive) but there are no emotions connected to the incident, the only way I can describe it is it's a bit like touching a stinging nettle, you get stung, you quickly get over it, but you know not to touch it again.
It's like a little tag in my brain that is connected to that person which says "They fouled up at your expense, don't give them the opportunity to do it again".
PS
Posted this here as opposed to the Job/work section because although I've named no-one (including nature of work), I don't think it's appropriate, or a good idea to leave it there for public viewing.
My big one at the moment is trusting/respecting someone who has broken my trust.
This isn't in a scornful/vengeful/vindictive/bitter manner at all; on the whole I'd say I'm quite a happy person; however, I have noticed certain events can irrevocably break my trust in a person and when that happens (though I may still get on with that person), they forever remain in my mind, as someone who is never to be trusted on my part. It's not something I've discussed with anyone outside of my family, as there's no-one in my social circle who has ADHD (apart from family members).
The situation (SKIP HERE)
- I was given work by my boss which isn't in my job description, but I got on with anyway, as I didn't mind and they were short in that department.
- After two weeks of it I developed mild carpal tunnel.
- Took two weeks sick leave (boss paid for it).
- Came back to work, with sick note, exempting me from more of the type of work that caused the problem.
- Given more of the same work by my boss (put on the spot, last second "you can do this can't you, it's all there is?")
- Carpal tunnel came back.
- three weeks off work incapacity.
Ever since I've come back, despite all symptoms gone, I've found I just can't trust him, I no longer hold him in the same regard, I don't find any of his jokes funny any more, certain comments he makes I tend to ignore (regardless of whether they are constructive or even intended to have no insult/offence) and my respect for him has evaporated completely.
Does anyone else have this problem?
I know a lot of people would say that it's resentment or bitterness, but it's really not, I know how those emotions feel (really destructive) but there are no emotions connected to the incident, the only way I can describe it is it's a bit like touching a stinging nettle, you get stung, you quickly get over it, but you know not to touch it again.
It's like a little tag in my brain that is connected to that person which says "They fouled up at your expense, don't give them the opportunity to do it again".
PS
Posted this here as opposed to the Job/work section because although I've named no-one (including nature of work), I don't think it's appropriate, or a good idea to leave it there for public viewing.