anjie
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Post by anjie on Nov 30, 2014 19:05:10 GMT
I'm curious to know if this is a shared trait in women with ADHD?
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 30, 2014 23:03:53 GMT
They're not the same thing.
You'll probably hear that many of us really enjoy the horizontal tango. All that stimulation...all those endorphins...what's not to like?
And you'll probably hear that there are some sufferers whose impulse control - or lack of it - means they find it a bit more difficult not to give into the impulse to get it on with anyone and everyone.
And then there are those of us who are firmly monogamous bunnies. Well, serially monogamous, anyway...
Life's like that. Diverse.
Why do you ask?
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 1, 2014 0:06:53 GMT
I'm curious to know if this is a shared trait in women with ADHD? Promiscuity comes across as pejorative to me. What is wrong with having many partners? My value system has it that anything is fine as long as you don't hurt people. I worry when it's (promiscuous) applied to women - there's a social construct that brings the word 'slag' into play, which is nasty and properly sexist. I'm not sure about high sex drive but the impulsive thing is definitely there, which frequently looks like high sex drive - as oooshiny says 'what's not to like?'
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Post by Bee on Dec 2, 2014 11:21:18 GMT
Sadly for me, fairly low sex drive. Maybe I'm doing it wrong?!
But I used to be what I would consider promiscuous. From age 15-19 I just wanted to find my Disney Prince Charming.
Low self esteem told me the only way any one would love me is if I would sleep with them.
Sounds bonkers to me now at the wise old age of 24!
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Post by blaze on Dec 2, 2014 12:21:12 GMT
Like pp said they are different things. Theres such gender bias in the word promisuity, and such judgement. Men are never labeled promiscuious, jst studs.
I guess when I was younger I may have been labeled promiscious, I wdnt have said I was, jst self destructive, and im a tactile person who adores being adored so I guess I often seaked out attension from people who found me attractive.
Re sex drive I have been with the same guy for 12 yrs (today as it happens) and we have been tgrough a numver of life stages and changes together including my twin pregnancy and then nursing babies and there have been times we have had a lot of sex and times we havnt much, and it goes round in cycles depending on so many factors, and I think this is pretty normal for most women.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 2, 2014 12:36:14 GMT
The promiscuity/self esteem connection is problematic - where does sex drive end and neediness begin?
The flip side is that the low self esteem manifests differently in men ie usually 'not promiscuous'.
I'm curious to know what triggered the thread since we are already running a sexuality thread elsewhere - should we close this and redirect answers to 'Sexuality' or are there legs still in this thread?
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Post by shiveringsky on Dec 2, 2014 15:42:44 GMT
Does it count as sexual if I tittered about legs, thread and sexuality being in the same sentence?
It's Christmas time. Even Santa Clause is getting action from 'Mummy'. If sexuality is being linked to companionship and December is one of the loneliest months of the year then it stands to reason sex is on the brain. Or is that just cod logic?
I know the use of the word promiscuity has generated some concern and debate and I think that's great (I'm such a poet!), but I also don't know that it ought to be clung to as the sole question here. A high sex drive with a partner and a high sex drive with different and numerous partners are different things when you move past the sex and into the emotions of it. Doesn't mean one is better than t'other but for some the idea of being intimate with multiple partners feels lonelier. To others being with only one partner can feel limiting whilst some of us don't mind either way. The two threads are different if only because someone wanted to ask a question of her gender as against all of us. And I think more time has been spent debating the use of a word rather than the true point.
In which case, for me it's not a shared trait. Ive never been particularly into lots of people. When I crush I get hyperfocused. And there's no physical desire for me in so far as feeling like sleeping with people, though I will happily get deep into kissing whoever I like, whenever I like (unless they protest). No issue with the sexing in theory but it's never been something I could do. But I think that's actually a hang-up I have rather than anything else. Childhood trauma and such.
But basically - make like bunnies. Don't sweat the small stuff.
x
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 2, 2014 15:54:29 GMT
Does it count as sexual if I tittered about legs, thread and sexuality being in the same sentence? You probably have a case of 'inyerendo', like me. She said 'tittered'. Phnaar phnaar. Can we get back to being serious now
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Post by grim on Dec 2, 2014 19:37:58 GMT
I was a bit promiscuous in my teens/early 20's. The number of partners i'd had was well on it's way to 200 by the time i was 23,when my first longer term relationship happened.
I was all about the hunt,i relished the chase...as soon as i'd "caught my prey" i'd lose i interest and look to a new target.
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Post by fuzzywuzzy on Dec 2, 2014 20:04:02 GMT
Off topic but Happy Anniversary blaze
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Post by gillywilly on Feb 20, 2015 15:59:55 GMT
I was diagnosed with dyspraxia while at uni, and during my assessment the Ed Psych tested me on Dabrowski's Theory of Positive Disintegration (seriously!). Effectively, it's about 'over-excitabilities': hyper sensitivity to the physical, emotional, intellectual, sensual .. (err... and one other) side of ourselves. Anyway, he looked at me completely straight-faced (having looked at my responses - very high in all areas) and said, 'Do you have a high sex drive?' He was dead serious (this was definitely not a case of him acting unprofessionally - and he did go on to talk about over-eating, too).
And yes - I do have a high sex drive; always have had. Some would call it hedonistic - but I just see it as appreciating the fabulous things in life, with an impulsivity trait that sometimes causes me to act now, think later. Doesn't mean I bed-hop, or am sluttish (I'm monogamous when in a relationship), or anything else that's pejorative. I love stopping to smell the flowers, delight in thunderstorms, cartwheel in the street, am awestruck by sunsets, cry at Schubert's string quintets... and have a high sex drive.
But whether that's my dyspraxia, my (undiagnosed) ADHD, over-excitabilities - or just me being me, I really don't know :/
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 20, 2015 18:14:20 GMT
That's a lot of competing theories you're juggling with! I get troubled with dyspraxia because there are so many shared symptoms with ADHD, and psychologists in general seem happier applying it, and then the person goes on to be diagnosed with ADHD. I'm assured dyspraxia is a discrete condition but I keep seeing it being confused with ADHD. A lot of ADHD seems to be about the lack of reward (dopamine) so a liking for high stimulation comes across as pretty standard. If you're a bit hyper then it all sounds typical (though I like the sound of cartwheeling in the street - last time I did that I think I broke a finger). The high sex drive thing is 'confusing' me (not confused like Al Murray's Pub Landlord ) because unless it's associated with low self esteem (in women) then it seems to be part of a suite of high stimulus activity and not something on its own. And keep the Schubert down, we have standards here you know
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Post by gillywilly on Feb 22, 2015 0:08:22 GMT
I definitely do have dyspraxia, planetdave, but agree that many with an initial Dx of dyspraxia go on to receive one of ADHD on top. Could be many reasons: a) that the two conditions are commonly co-morbid, and there are many overlaps between the two b) because there's still so much more acceptance within the med profession (it seems) of dyspraxia rather than ADHD c) because having a Dx of dyspraxia probably makes GPs more likely to then agree to an assessment of ADHD (much supposition on my part here, mind!), so that the first Dx leads on to the second, and d) because so many adults receive a dyslexia or dyspraxia Dx only while at uni - where it seems these are your only two options of what might be causing you 'problems'! Another, perhaps the most important, is the lack of understanding of how ADHD presents in adult women. Sigh. One of the theories about a misdiagnosis of dyspraxia (instead of ADHD) is that inattention, added to impulsivity, could be a direct cause of tripping/stumbling/dropping/spilling and/or knocking into things, rather than these being caused by a gross motor co-ordination difficulty. There's certainly logic to that theory - guess it depends on whether the individual has a good selection of other typical dyspraxia symptoms that are not part of the ADHD suite. I do have low self-esteem - but that bears no correlation with my sex drive; I think you're right about high stimulus activities - which is what, I think, my Ed Psych was getting at. But as he came to that conclusion after testing me for over-excitabilities, I suspect it's that, rather than the dyspraxia, that led him to that conclusion. Whether there's a link between over-excitabilities and ADHD - well, that's a whole new conversation! (As is Schubert! Sorry to hear about the broken finger, btw; that'll learn yer!)
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 22, 2015 12:17:01 GMT
I'll try to stop posting about dyspraxia on a sex drive thread.
BUT! (who didn't see that coming)
There are some things that are common comorbidies with ADHD (eg dyslexia) and some that are 'too' common (IMO). My list includes dyspraxia and Aspergers.
Since you're new round here you probably wont have seen me banging on about Aspergers (my hypothesis is that ADHD is either a continuation of the autistic spectrum, morphing via aspies, or that aspies is part of the ADHD spectrum rather than an autism).
I don't meet too many diagnosed dyspraxics (I spend all my time doing advocacy work for the ND community) but all of them were diagnosed as children, by psychologists, and went on to be diagnosed with ADHD later. It worries me that these were a 'plain and simple' misdiagnosis, because it's a diagnosis psychologists can get away with (ADHD being beyond their ken) or that the 'two' are connected.
As for the underdiagnosis of ADHD in women (also covered before but a quick recap won't hurt) - hyperactivity appears to be concentrated in males (70/30 or so), who get 'picked off' at school because hyperactivity is disruptive to the learning process.
If you go along with the genetic theory of ADHD then there should be an equal gender split, leaving more women in the inattentive camp, which tends to get ignored and is more difficult to diagnose.
A quick swerve back to dyspraxia - in my own case:- I'm quite athletic/coordinated, being 'county standard' as a schoolboy, but suffered from what I'd call 'motor failure' or klutz moments. I'm not so afflicted by these that dyspraxia was considered, which would have been an easy out when I was being diagnosed, during the medieval period. I'm surprised I wasn't prescribed leeches. The klutz moments have reduced under medication, which supports the ADHD idea of inadequate processing speed for voluntary action.
BACK TO THE SEX DRIVE!
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mehere
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Post by mehere on Oct 12, 2018 12:02:10 GMT
Dyslexia is an anagram of daily sex.
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Post by lottie1522 on Jan 23, 2021 11:46:05 GMT
Dyslexia is an anagram of daily sex. What a quote to finish the thread on 😂 I've found this a really interesting read. I'm newly diagnosed at 35 and have been looking back over my life at different things that now I realise are linked to/signs of ADHD. I can definitely relate to multiple partners throughout my late teens early 20's and there is a definite link with low self esteem. I've been married now for over 12 years and it hasn't been a problem to be monogamous but I think thats due to being in a loving relationship, we have our tough moments, but I get the emotions I was probably craving in my early 20's when all my friends were in relationships and went from one to another, it felt like nobody was single but me!! Not much point to my reply other that it appears to be correlation to ADHD for quite a few people and like most signs of ADHD, it can also stand alone or be linked to other diagnosies. I haven't looked at the 'sexuality' board as I saw this first. I also think this question was linked specifically to females and views of other ADHD females rather than a generic question for everyone, that's how I read it any way. I hope everyone is getting on well in lockdown, as well as can be expected 😊
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