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Post by skycaptain on Dec 9, 2014 14:32:49 GMT
This place is here to let off steam, right? Well, might need some goggles!
I don't feel with it today. I just wana get up, throw some shit around and just disappear. I'm getting so frustrated at work. I'm forgetting simple things and being clumsy and i feel pressured not to make anymore mistakes or I could lose my job. So NOT the best day to be having a really 'off' day! -_- I just want to give up now before I really do some damage that can't be undone.
I'm so tempted to just get up and go home and say done.
Just had a chat with my boss about how stressed this is making me. She seems to have more confidence in me than I do. Clearly she doesn't understand when I say at this moment in time I feel I don't have any way at all to control the mistakes I make, I really mean it! I don't know, do I throw it in say that's it, had enough and walk out and suffer a financial turmoil, or do I sit and wait frustratingly, stressfully and impatiently waiting for me to just f*** it up anyways and still end up in financial turmoil? Either way, all I can see right now is one ending. I just feel like I don't have anyone I can immediately turn to for advice and some direction since I'm not convinced my boss is (although as supportive as she tries to be) isn't really at all understanding how hard I'm finding this right now.
Frustrated?? Is there a word for beyond frustrated?
Oh Le sigh!
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Post by skycaptain on Dec 10, 2014 11:57:52 GMT
I got over myself yesterday. After some food and a bit of relax time, I began to feel better. Today, felt good going into work, all fresh and ready to face the world full of confidence.
Until I got to work and saw we've now gone paperless overnight and my draw and folder full of all the helpful pieces of paper that I rely on to do my job well has all been binned. Gone. Nothing left. That was my comfort zone. Fuming isn't even the beginning. I flapped about it, hopefully they can print some more stuff off for me and laminate them... Or I can calm down and eventually cone around to change (I'm not the easiest with change). We'll see. Mood has lightened a little since this morning... So we'll see.
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Post by Foxtrot on Dec 10, 2014 20:43:21 GMT
Oh man, that's a big change!
Have you considered making a note when things cause you to feel stressed? You could ask your manager (or an alternative manager) to go through a stress reduction plan with you. You don't need to mention adhd. All employers have an obligation to help employees manage stress when it begins to cause harm, irrespective of whether they have a health condition. You could point out things like how your paperwork helps you manage your day.
I totally relate to your manager having more faith in you than you have in yourself. I mean, I get that at work too. It tends to mean I get more responsibility than I can manage at times. Adhd is a hidden disability. I guess we expect people to know the turmoil we are in at times when in fact, they are oblivious.
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Post by manson88 on Dec 10, 2014 20:53:15 GMT
All employers have a duty of care. You should be seeking a reasonable adjustment to your work load cause of your condition.
Also depends on what type of conditions you have with your Adhd.
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Post by skycaptain on Dec 10, 2014 21:32:54 GMT
I've not been diagnosed yet. The more I learn about adhd/add the more confident I am I have it.
I did manage to calm down throughout the day and get on with it. They told me to give them a list of the things I want to refer to and they'll print them off and laminate them, but I've just been too frustrated about it to even remember what i'm missing!! lol
But it just proper irks me that they did that. I'm a massive hoarder so I hate throwing things away at the best of times... but for someone else to go through my work stuff and throw everything away (including all the pens that I've bought from my own money, fetched from home and such) I kinda feel violated. It's a really god job i'm not in one of my snacking phases otherwise they would have opened a drawer to weeks worth of half eaten biscuits, chocolates, crisps and god knows what else! And if they had chance to throw my snacks away then I honestly doubt I would have been able to keep my cool lol (if you can call this morning flapping about in an embarrassing manner 'keeping my cool') >_<
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Post by Foxtrot on Dec 10, 2014 21:45:23 GMT
I would have felt the same if it had happened to me. That's pretty shocking. You should booby trap your cupboard in case it happens again.
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Post by skycaptain on Dec 10, 2014 21:52:04 GMT
I would have felt the same if it had happened to me. That's pretty shocking. You should booby trap your cupboard in case it happens again. is it bad my first thought to that was to catch a spider in a see through pot and store it in my drawer? It's what I've had to do with my phone - changed my screensaver to a spider to stop my bf from changing all my apps around! I'd password it if I had confidence i'd be able to remember the password I set!
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Post by Foxtrot on Dec 10, 2014 22:13:15 GMT
Maybe make it a pretend spider and that would be ok lol
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Post by supine on Dec 11, 2014 13:44:18 GMT
Personally speaking, if someone took it upon themselves to throw my stuff away then I would be going supersonic. I'd also insist on a lockable drawer and maybe even consider keeping a tiger in there.
Or maybe some radiation/harmful substance stickers..
"DO NOT OPEN WITHOUT AUTHORISATION - ANTHRAX CONTAINERS WITHIN' although in this day and age you would probably end up in prison for making a sticker like that, however obvious it is it's a joke.
A mouse-trap might be a good idea though.
I also can't believe the threw your pens away as well. I work with computers all day, I design networks and security systems full of computers - all done on computer - yet I get through an A4 notebook about every 3 months. It's not only my portable memory system, it is a legal document that verifies what hours I worked on which project (so they can be billed) which I use to complete the electronic timesheets from at the end of every week.
There is no such thing as a paperless office (that works). What a nightmare!
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Post by skycaptain on Dec 11, 2014 15:05:22 GMT
The draws do have locks on them but we're not allowed to take the keys home. They've tried this paperless thing before but not to this extreme... I don't have much faith it'll last long tbf.
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