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Post by Foxtrot on Dec 12, 2014 16:49:02 GMT
I've decided to be proactive about knocking myself out of the moody blue I've been in all this afternoon. I refuse to spend the evening wallowing and blowing everything out of proportion in my mind. So I got to thinking... Many people with ADHD have a good sense of humour, right? I use humour all the time to help me manage awkward situations like social faux pars and the fact that my mouth has a mind of its own. So I'm going to start us off with a joke. For anyone viewing this thread there is just one rule, you have to leave a joke behind before you move on!! Even if it's crap like mine! Why is Santa so jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live!
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Post by grim on Dec 12, 2014 19:59:37 GMT
Darth Vader: "Luke,i know what you're getting for Christmas"
Luke Skywalker: "How do you know that?"
Darth Vader: "I have felt your presents"
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mc1250
Member's posted somewhat
Posts: 71
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Post by mc1250 on Dec 12, 2014 23:13:05 GMT
A friend of mine was in a bad accident and lost the entire left side of his body! But he's all right now!
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Dec 13, 2014 11:44:30 GMT
A friend of mine was in a bad accident and lost the entire left side of his body! But he's all right now! ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh that's a stinker! Got any more? My favourite joke of all time... What's brown and sticky? A stick! thank you, I'll be here all week.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Dec 13, 2014 11:56:01 GMT
Here's one I stole from Tommy Cooper (or Tim Vine).
A man walks into a butcher's
Man - I'd like those pieces of meat from the top shelf Small butcher - Sorry sir, the steaks are too high
boom tish!
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Humour me
Dec 13, 2014 16:54:06 GMT
via mobile
Bee likes this
Post by Foxtrot on Dec 13, 2014 16:54:06 GMT
Here's one I stole from Tommy Cooper (or Tim Vine). A man walks into a butcher's Man - I'd like those pieces of meat from the top shelf Small butcher - Sorry sir, the steaks are too high boom tish! Sorry planet Dave, I had to read your joke three times before I got it. It did entail a little chuckle in the end though. X
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Post by mypineappledream on Dec 13, 2014 20:17:46 GMT
Once upon a time to elks were out flying, all of the sudden one of them got a cinnamon bun in the eye. elk 1: "you have a bun in your eye" elk 2: "what?" elk 1: "you have a bun in your eye" elk 2: "what?" elk 1: "you have a bun in your eye" elk 2: "what I can't hear you, I have a bun in my eye"
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mc1250
Member's posted somewhat
Posts: 71
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Post by mc1250 on Dec 14, 2014 16:27:11 GMT
A man goes to the doctors
Man: when I press on my foot it hurts When I press on my knee it hurts When I press on my chest it hurts When I press on my head it hurts What's wrong with me?
Doctor: you have a broken hand!
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Post by shiveringsky on Dec 16, 2014 12:17:43 GMT
Name one element that is missing from the Periodic Table?
Surprise!!
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Post by Babble on Dec 17, 2014 13:03:32 GMT
Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be bagels.
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Post by Bee on Dec 19, 2014 12:14:50 GMT
How many ADHDers does it take to change a lightbulb?
All of us, to do everything BUT change the lightbulb, And one NT to get fed up of living in the dark!
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Post by shiveringsky on Dec 19, 2014 19:48:35 GMT
What is the collective noun for a gathering of ADHDers? A Confusion.
Ahem... I'll get my hat."
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mc1250
Member's posted somewhat
Posts: 71
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Post by mc1250 on Dec 20, 2014 18:48:20 GMT
Quick question - what kind of comedians do you like or drawn to?
I've always been drawn to people like paul merton with his randomness and other comedians that aren't you usual observational comics, it's not that they're not funny, just find weirdness and the darker humour more appealing!
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Post by mypoorbrain on Dec 20, 2014 20:41:25 GMT
Why did the mexican throw his wife off a cliff.......? ....... tequila! Dana dananana nana
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beardy
Member's not posted much yet
The long process of formal diagnosis starts tomorrow. Dreading it.
Posts: 12
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Post by beardy on Dec 21, 2014 0:02:22 GMT
What do you call a dog magician?
A Labracadabrador
Ta da!
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Post by shiveringsky on Dec 21, 2014 23:45:22 GMT
Quick question - what kind of comedians do you like or drawn to? I've always been drawn to people like paul merton with his randomness and other comedians that aren't you usual observational comics, it's not that they're not funny, just find weirdness and the darker humour more appealing! Milton Jones, Stewart Lee, Bill Bailey, Sean Locke. I like Russell Howard though he can be a bit too juvenile at times (which isnt to say I don't still find myself giggling). But generally I like a good twisted tangent and a dose of surreal. My own fare however.... Where do you go to weight a pie? Somewhere over the rainbow.
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Post by twix on Feb 3, 2015 8:31:15 GMT
The people of UAE are deciding if they should ban the Flintstones.
People in Dubai don't like them, but those in Abu Dhabi do!
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Post by Mouse on Feb 6, 2015 19:53:55 GMT
Why did the boy take a ruler to bed with him?
So he could tell how long he lay there.
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Post by random on Feb 10, 2015 11:46:48 GMT
Q: What's a Welsh letter?
A: A French letter with a leek.
(I think the term French letter was old even when I first might have used one but we won't discuss when that was)
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Post by dizzydumpling on Feb 13, 2015 9:18:26 GMT
I had lunch with Gary Kasparov yesterday in a restaurant with chequered tablecloths - It took him an hour to pass the salt.
Boom boom!
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spanna
Member's posted somewhat
Posts: 66
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Post by spanna on Feb 20, 2015 13:19:38 GMT
I've got two really lovely children. They are only 18 months apart, I didn't want a gap too big...... so I had them both by caesarean section
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