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Post by mypineappledream on Dec 30, 2014 20:46:16 GMT
I don't really remember ever liking my parents; I know I hugged them until I was about 7 so I must have liked them at some point... When I was 8 my dad hit me and then it kept happening for 10 years... My mom told me it was my own fault and I deserved it. I remember being little and wondering what it would be like to have a normal family, one where you actually like your parents. When I was 10 we went to camp with school and some of my classmates parents came along. We had gone swimming even though it was way too cold, as we came out of the water one of the parents grabbed me and gave me a big hug trying to warm me up. I almost broke down crying, thinking this is what it must feel like to have a family, a real family.
I'm 24 years old and sometime I think about what it would be like to have a family.
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Post by skycaptain on Dec 31, 2014 12:48:21 GMT
I ditto that feeling. Well, sort of. It was really just me and my mum growing up. My mum's not the most maternal of people and growing up I always wished for someone to just hug me, cheer me up when I'm down, do nice things just for the hell of it. And especially since she found her partner and married him, I felt very cast out and ended up hating my mums husband because of it. But deep down, I know my mum has done (and will contintue to do) her best in her own way in bringing me up, with the little we had and the very few people my mum had for support. I too, had things thrown at me when I was bad and got a fair few really heavy handed slaps to the back of the head (the kind that make the brain sting and buzz for hours), and sometimes objects she launched at me on occasion would be things like a roller boot, other shoe-like objects, ornaments... I am just thankful my mum has the worst aim imaginable... But I'm pretty sure your parents love you as much as anyone elses parents... They perhaps just have a difficult time showing it. I suppose with these kind of parents it's best to look at the bigger picture, rather than the smaller ones, and be thankful for what we have got
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Post by mypineappledream on Dec 31, 2014 22:21:22 GMT
I don't know if I can look at the big picture, I have no emotional connection to them at all. I can't really remember my dad the first 14 years of my life except for when he hit me, despite the fact that I have an incredible good memory. I barely have any memories of my mother either; they bumped me of to daycare as soon as I turned one. I had earinfections and was at the doctors alot and I remember them fighting alot about who had to take me to the doctors, they really didn't want to be there for their sick kid. I was bullied so badly I would escape the afterschool program so often they stopped paying for it; they never cared to ask why. When I talked about the bullying they said that I was lying. I can't remember them making me breakfast and hardly remember them making dinner, I took care of all my food from the age of ten. From the age of ten I would spend all my free time in the stables and sleep over there as much as the owner allow, no one ever asked me why. I couldn't for the life of me understand why my friends wanted to go home instead of having sleepovers there. During my teens I didn't know what city my mom was in half the time and sometimes I didn't even know what country she was in.
Now my mom has sort of accepted my adhd she keeps telling me this weird things that makes everything worse, like a lot worse. She told me she knew my dad wasn't a good father and that he was so raciest that she had thought that he would not be appropriate to have around children. She told me she knew that my brother had autism when he was in daycare, but she never bothered to do anything and now she all mad at him for not getting his life together... I think that hurts the most because she knew something wasn't right and she never cared enough to take care of us.
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Post by skycaptain on Jan 2, 2015 14:17:06 GMT
It's a shame people can be like that. What's that they say? You can't chose you're family, but you can chose your friends It's strange to think friends would do more for you than family, sometimes. I hope you have some good friends to outweigh your crappy parents
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Post by blaze on Jan 14, 2015 16:27:01 GMT
Try alice miller, drama espesialy, intense but great place to start healing
My father basicly wasnt there (my mother was jst his bit on the side so never a family) and my mother is classic npd, verging on mbp also. She was a sw yet willing prosituted me to her affairs (she liked men who liked little girls so I bait). at 24 I was in bits over it, a couple of yrs with a gd trauma soecilaist my ptsd is gone basicly bae sm nightmares. I think having my own kids (with my amazing oh) gelped, but also brought it hm for me (no grandparents to help etc)
Sm parents are abusive, sm neglectful or both, sm jst arnt able to deal with the emotional stuff parenting throws up. Its awful, and not fair, but it is possible to move past it.
I spent yrs putting up with lousy friends jst because their parents were so gd to me and I wanted them to be my parents so bad. I guess now I am a parent that need has gone.
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