Post by Deleted on Apr 12, 2015 20:29:34 GMT
I have to have a bit of a vent about ADHD. I dont necessarily expect a reply given that it could turn out quite lengthy but thats what a vent is for, stream of consciousness.
Im not even diagnosed yet and I keep referring to "my ADHD". Im such a chaotic mess though.
Ive actually got BO right now because I cant remember to buy any deoderant.
I have never been able to settle with what I have. Always wanting to live here, then move here, have things fall through from my own bad decision making and stubborn nonsense. My sister (absolutely non-ADHD!!) has sensibly been quite content to stay at home until she has saved money from her retail job, which she stuck with quite content for 5 years, then made an informed decision to move in with her equally as sensible and completely neuro-typical partner. They dont seem to have a worry or a regret in the world.
I, on the other hand, have rented here, rented there. If I wanted to live somewhere I would make it happen in an instant. If something gets stuck in my head, I want it IMMEDIATELY with no discussion and no planning. Is this right for me and does it make financial sense? Doesn't matter, I have to have what I want and need it now! My parents have tried to argue but never stood in my way. Just despair when I mess up and have to move back with them. All the money I have wasted on bad decisions.
I live in a comfortable, one bedroom flat owned by my dad. I am living so comfortably and would have the option to save for the future when I get a band 5 job (£21000 pa). I have to move though. Its what I want. It makes no sense financially. EVen though it is just about affordable to move where I want to and have really fancied the idea of relocating for years. Do I trust my ADHD and jump in, try and make it work, hope for the best? Or is it time to start learning to play-it-safe. Never been a play it safe person and I fear I might regret not moving in years to come. I never wanted to stay in my home town well into my adult life.
If I want a takeaway or a bottle of wine I HAVE TO HAVE IT and IMMEDIATELY!!! If its in my head and I want it it is happening. I wish I had the ability to go away and have a think about things and weigh up the long term consequences but its hard. Would medication make me more sensible, make me play it safe or would it dull my personality and make me boring and regretful? I may even end up miles from home and the end of the year and suffering the side effects of meds at the same time when I could have just STAYED IN MY COMFORT ZONE where everything is ok. Alternatively there could be much to gain from jumping in feet first. I have months, literally months to decide but it is causing stress and worry now.
Make a go of it or stay in my home town now and become a play-it-safe? I dont know whether to trust my ADHD instincts!!!
Im not even diagnosed yet and I keep referring to "my ADHD". Im such a chaotic mess though.
Ive actually got BO right now because I cant remember to buy any deoderant.
I have never been able to settle with what I have. Always wanting to live here, then move here, have things fall through from my own bad decision making and stubborn nonsense. My sister (absolutely non-ADHD!!) has sensibly been quite content to stay at home until she has saved money from her retail job, which she stuck with quite content for 5 years, then made an informed decision to move in with her equally as sensible and completely neuro-typical partner. They dont seem to have a worry or a regret in the world.
I, on the other hand, have rented here, rented there. If I wanted to live somewhere I would make it happen in an instant. If something gets stuck in my head, I want it IMMEDIATELY with no discussion and no planning. Is this right for me and does it make financial sense? Doesn't matter, I have to have what I want and need it now! My parents have tried to argue but never stood in my way. Just despair when I mess up and have to move back with them. All the money I have wasted on bad decisions.
I live in a comfortable, one bedroom flat owned by my dad. I am living so comfortably and would have the option to save for the future when I get a band 5 job (£21000 pa). I have to move though. Its what I want. It makes no sense financially. EVen though it is just about affordable to move where I want to and have really fancied the idea of relocating for years. Do I trust my ADHD and jump in, try and make it work, hope for the best? Or is it time to start learning to play-it-safe. Never been a play it safe person and I fear I might regret not moving in years to come. I never wanted to stay in my home town well into my adult life.
If I want a takeaway or a bottle of wine I HAVE TO HAVE IT and IMMEDIATELY!!! If its in my head and I want it it is happening. I wish I had the ability to go away and have a think about things and weigh up the long term consequences but its hard. Would medication make me more sensible, make me play it safe or would it dull my personality and make me boring and regretful? I may even end up miles from home and the end of the year and suffering the side effects of meds at the same time when I could have just STAYED IN MY COMFORT ZONE where everything is ok. Alternatively there could be much to gain from jumping in feet first. I have months, literally months to decide but it is causing stress and worry now.
Make a go of it or stay in my home town now and become a play-it-safe? I dont know whether to trust my ADHD instincts!!!