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Post by skycaptain on May 28, 2015 6:50:18 GMT
So I have my assessment this Monday... Crept up on me quite a bit! Omg panic mode! Anyways, I'm worried about the stuff they're going to go through with me... And what if I clam up and forget everything??? I can't take my mum with me because she's not free that day. I don't have anyone else who can go that can discuss my childhood. So I've been trying my hardest to reflect on my childhood myself, buy in all honesty I don't feel like I had any issues as I was reading well before everyone else and I socialised ok and behaved very well. However, I can't give any actual examples because I don't remember any!! My memory of my childhood is nothing but a fuzzy blur. And I know that I had memory issues as a kid too, it's just got loads worse as I've grown older. I've also pulled out my record of achievement as requested and that's the most useless piece of crap ever. In one report I supposedly wrote (but don't remember doing it) I apparently loved maths!!! Lmao what??? I detested maths! Oh dear. And the only report from my tutor says I was a hardworking student that has progressed well, which is complete opposite to how I felt. I feel it was my last year in junior school where everything seemed to go downhill, when I really started to struggle. The further along in secondary school the less I would complete homework on time, had detention a couple of times, but not nearly as much as other kids and I feel it was only because I was severely overlooked. Everyone thought I was this hardworking quiet student, when in fact I just struggled eternally in silence because I was too afraid/ashamed to ask for help for fear of feeling/being called/labelled stupid but because I didn't cause trouble I was forgotten about. Is it normal to worry that I 'wont' get a diagnosis?
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Post by Babble on May 28, 2015 9:49:45 GMT
I think that's pretty normal tbh. I have my first doctors appointment to get started on the whole ADD diagnosis thing, and I have the exact same worry! It's easy for us to see our own problems, since we're in our own head an all - harder to convince a perfect stranger. I was the same at school, really. Quietly struggling, hardworking, (mostly) well behaved. I don't know that showing my school records will help my cause, but since I'm not taking a parent, they'll have to do! Anyway, I hope everything works out for you. I'm sure it'll be fine Let us know how it goes!
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Post by Mouse on May 28, 2015 21:29:42 GMT
I think you will find you are focussed on getting across your experience of living with adhd (past and present)and you won't clam up! I'm sure it will go well!
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Post by contrarymary on May 28, 2015 22:01:07 GMT
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Post by skycaptain on May 29, 2015 6:46:05 GMT
Hopefully I'm panicking over nothing!
I just hate not knowing what to expect. It frustrates me, makes me anxious. Scares the crap out of me!
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Post by Foxtrot on May 29, 2015 7:31:44 GMT
Have you considered asking your mum to complete a questionnaire about you as a child? Perhaps the DSM questionnaire? You could take that in with you as evidence. Or maybe she can write a short statement with some examples? You'd also have the advantage of knowing what was said in advance and can choose to hand it over or not.
I asked my partner to fill some questionnaires in about me. I was quite shocked by the responses because she didn't know what adhd was at the time, I'd just kinda dropped it on her. I thought she'd only really noticed the lack of attention but she gave me full blown adhd! Cheeky mare!!
Anyhow, keep calm, prepare but don't over prepare and get it over with. The outcome will be what it will be, but that's a concern for another day. Good luck xx
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Post by contrarymary on May 29, 2015 8:38:17 GMT
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Post by tessaract on May 29, 2015 12:38:09 GMT
I was terrified of going to my assessment too. I had spent weeks at the start trying to convince everyone close to me that I had ADD.
On the day of the assessment I was worried that I would have to come out of the appointment and have to say there's nothing wrong with me, and that all my problems were my own doing and I really was just a disorganised, lazy underachiever.
But when I came out with a diagnosis it was a little victory or vindication that I finally might get some understanding from those close to me. This was the beginning, not the end of a journey to a better life.
I've just had another pre assessment with the referral psychiatrist. Once I got going I had numerous examples and I was trying to decide in my head which ones to tell her, because there were so many. I'm sure you will be the same.
I was also really quiet and well behaved in primary school and managed to mudde through, which its atually quite typical for girls with AD(H)D, to be described as quiet and a daydreamer, thats why so many slipped through the net.
Everything your feeling about this seems pretty normal to me.
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Post by skycaptain on May 30, 2015 22:52:27 GMT
You guys sure know how to reassure one thanks! I'm probably over-thinking things And under-planning things lol. I still have a list of examples I need to get written down. That would be helpful to take with me.
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Post by Deleted on May 30, 2015 22:59:38 GMT
I have mine on Monday too!
i'm feeling confident though because im 100% certain I have ADHD. I would be very shocked if im told that i don't!!!
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Post by skycaptain on May 31, 2015 7:05:47 GMT
I am 90% certain. I'm just worried they'll look at my record of achievement and only have my fizzled memories of my childhood (which in all fairness I don't feel like it reflects much Adhd symptoms anything below 8/9yrs old) and they'll just go "nope, you're a whiny bastard, get out of here!" and I'll end up walking away with nothing resolved! And then life will just continue this struggle of being a ditzy awkward anxiety riddled stress head that gets nothing done *big breath* but I'm sure I'll be fine ~_~
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Post by Deleted on May 31, 2015 8:27:48 GMT
I am 90% certain. I'm just worried they'll look at my record of achievement and only have my fizzled memories of my childhood (which in all fairness I don't feel like it reflects much Adhd symptoms anything below 8/9yrs old) and they'll just go "nope, you're a whiny bastard, get out of here!" and I'll end up walking away with nothing resolved! And then life will just continue this struggle of being a ditzy awkward anxiety riddled stress head that gets nothing done *big breath* but I'm sure I'll be fine ~_~ If you're 90% certain that's still good because you know yourself better than anyone. It's just finding a way to communicate how difficult life is for you at the moment, link your struggles to the symptoms of adhd and do the same for all your historical troubles and difficulties through the years. Are you taking a family member? What time is your appointment? Mine is 1pm so a lot of waiting around!
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Post by skycaptain on May 31, 2015 8:42:44 GMT
9:30 so luckily an early appointment! At least with a later one it gives you that bit extra to make sure you're prepared knowing me I'll leave the house without everything in a rush! :/ I can't take anyone with me. My mum's busy and no other family member spent enough time with me to notice (I wouldn't have thought). I'm writing notes at minute. I have 4 pages and not done yet! Lol
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Post by Bee on May 31, 2015 18:20:29 GMT
skycaptainGood luck for tomorrow! You'll be fine I took my partner, who could verify how disorganised/anxious/stressy/talkative etc. I am. My school reports were glowing, and I arrived for my 09.30 appointment about an hour early (the place wasn't even open, we had to sit in the car for half an hour). I'm always early for appointments By all accounts it didn't LOOK like ADHD. I wanted the diagnosis, but I also wanted to be myself so that I could know I didn't manage to trick the Pysch into anything. My Psych pulled everything apart. 'Why are you early? ADHDers aren't early.' 'These reports are pretty good, but you're telling me you struggled?' It was intense. I cried. - though it didn't take much to make me cry because I was so wound up already. I couldn't stop shaking and my voice kept going all weird lol. I told him I don't like being late, it makes me feel bad. So I get to places early. Sometimes too early. I said that I mostly managed to cram for school. I struggled to concentrate, or get started, but when I did I would manage to panic my way through it. These were both fairly typical ADHD responses apparently. It's not so much the behaviours, but the reasoning BEHIND them. We build coping mechanisms when things get too stressful. A friend of mine on here is meticulous. Routine, routine, routine. Not a hair out of place. Because without that she'd be a mess. She looks strictly organised because the chaos in her head is too much for her. I'm saying, Chill out. You'll be fine. If you know you're a nut case on the inside, it'll show through Good luck, and I hope you sleep well tonight! XxBeexX
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Post by Bee on May 31, 2015 18:23:28 GMT
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Post by Foxtrot on Jun 1, 2015 7:12:44 GMT
Good luck skycaptain x
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Post by skycaptain on Jun 1, 2015 12:18:23 GMT
The verdict?
Don't know.
3 hrs of a proper grilling, bringing up a load of past I'd long forgotten about. I've ended up mentioning things I've never said out loud before. But at the same time, when I wanted to elaborate on certain things, the woman (my assessor) wouldn't let me so I feel only half heard. We ended with risk assessment forms and several questionairs. And then they told me I will be scheduled for a second appointment in a week or so after they've spoken to my mum over the phone.
So... Commence even more waiting for an answer.
I don't know, I just feel very empty after all that :/
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Post by Deleted on Jun 1, 2015 14:10:16 GMT
Same here really! Even though I went in expecting it to be spread over two appointments. Mine was only 55mins and I have a second one on July.
I'm still concerned I won't be diagnosed!
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Post by contrarymary on Jun 1, 2015 15:17:44 GMT
well done skycaptain and thehedgehog it is an exhausting process. Be gentle with yourself now, gentle cossetting and time to recover.
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Post by vagueandrandom on Jun 1, 2015 15:35:56 GMT
That's great skycaptain and thehedgehog. If they thought that you definately DIDN'T have ADD then you wouldn't get to a second appointment. At least there's not too long to wait until the next one.
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Post by skycaptain on Jun 1, 2015 20:46:48 GMT
That's great skycaptain and thehedgehog. If they thought that you definately DIDN'T have ADD then you wouldn't get to a second appointment. At least there's not too long to wait until the next one. I hope so. It just wasnt at all what i was expecting and left feeling very deflated. I dont think the woman assessing me was even a psych, all she did was hold a clipboard and ask me questions while a student typed up my answers. She didnt actually discuss anything or explain anything or allow me to go into detail with anything :/ I was hoping for maybe some explantions for some things or maybe for her to display some understanding about ADHD herself to reassure me she knew what she was doing. She didnt even give me chance to use my notes spent ages on those! lol
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Post by contrarymary on Jun 1, 2015 21:49:59 GMT
skycaptain it sounds as tho you've just had the standard assessment tests administered - these will have been largely a tick box thing, with you providing enough details for the psychologist (or whoever it was) to be satisfied that you fit each of the criteria. it's basically them gathering data the second appointment is likely to be the one where you get to explain more, and where your notes will be useful. perhaps worth thinking about today as the psych equivalent of having blood tests & x-rays done; next time you will get to talk about your symptoms & struggles and get the results
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Post by skycaptain on Jun 2, 2015 6:47:08 GMT
skycaptain it sounds as tho you've just had the standard assessment tests administered - these will have been largely a tick box thing, with you providing enough details for the psychologist (or whoever it was) to be satisfied that you fit each of the criteria. it's basically them gathering data the second appointment is likely to be the one where you get to explain more, and where your notes will be useful. perhaps worth thinking about today as the psych equivalent of having blood tests & x-rays done; next time you will get to talk about your symptoms & struggles and get the results Ah! That makes sense since they took my blood pressure and weight
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Post by Bee on Jun 3, 2015 13:48:27 GMT
If it were me, I'd hope they'd take my blood pressure before they took my weight..
Cz the sight of the scales would make my blood pressure rocket lol!
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Post by skycaptain on Jun 3, 2015 14:59:39 GMT
I've actually put on 3kg's in the past year lol
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Post by skycaptain on Jun 24, 2015 20:00:17 GMT
I thought I would update... since it's been a while. It was two weeks before they finally contacted my mum. They didnt call me. I called them. Took me two days to get the right number for them. Took another two days before I got hold of the psych that assessed me initially. I was eager for a second appointment since i'm going in hospital beginning of July and will be housebound for 4 weeks following. I dont want the added stress of wondering am i? am i not? while preparing and then recovering from an operation. They dont see it that way. My second appointment is booked for 6th August. Thats a fucking long wait from 1st June to 6th August for a result of an assessment it will be 45mins long... does that sound right? I thought i'd get the chance to discuss how it all affects me and explain the issues that i face everyday. Is that not the case? What if they dont give me an ADD/ADHD diagnosis? Am i allowed to ask for a second opinion? Would they provide moe information on what could possibly be the issue if not that? Point me in the right direction? I dont even feel they've done any co-morbid testing either. I'd like to know if I have any aspie symptoms (though pretty sure i do.) Fed up of waiting to know things more importantly, fed up of having to work so hard everyday to keep up with everyone else and still fall behind. And it pisses me off because even though i just wana throw my hands up in the air and just 'quit' this hard work... I subconciously end up rallying on anyways. Cant quit to save my life -_- Just have to wait a bit longer i guess :/
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Post by tink on Jun 24, 2015 21:17:03 GMT
Blimey! I'm so sorry u have had to wait for the "result"... How bloody frustrating for u!
my assessment is on Friday too... Why do they make people wait? Feels like a cruel joke!
ADHDers don't like waiting at all... Maybe it's a test!
hope u get the answers u are looking for very soon.
x
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Post by Bee on Jun 26, 2015 12:54:35 GMT
I sent a complaint to PALS about the length of time it took for me to be seen and diagnosed. I wanted them to know that I felt it was unacceptable, especially considering the nature of ADHD. I made this complaint over a year ago. I don't know if it made any difference, but I was called into a massive police office in Bristol to speak to a fella who (it seemed) had some sway. He said he hoped my complaint would be enough to make them reconsider the funding for ADHD services. I doubt my one complaint was enough but it was worth a try!
This is what I said, there was an introduction but I don't want to post that.
Some of the symptoms of ADHD (as I understand) are impatience, excessive rumination, and stress. These are some of the very symptoms that have caused me to seek help in the first place. In doing so however, I have been given plenty of time to think about the implications of a diagnosis one way or the other. I've spent too many nights worrying incessantly about whether I have ADHD or whether I am, in fact, just stupid. Whereas before, I hadn't realised the full extent of my somewhat erratic and at times completely illogical behaviour. This has certainly caused me more stress than my everyday life has done. I understand that there are a lot of people who have recently come forward that need to see a specialist, and that there is no realistic way of seeing these people all at once. I also would like to say that I am very grateful that such a service exists, and that I may get the help I need to turn my chaotic life around. But I feel something needs to be done, as a waiting list this long is currently exacerbating my symptoms, and I doubt I'm the only one.
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