ladybug
Member's posted somewhat
Posts: 75
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Post by ladybug on Jun 22, 2015 12:00:11 GMT
Gah, wrote post then iPad died and it disappeared... Here goes again!!
Ok have started going to counselling as I found someone with substantial experience of working with adults and kids with adhd. Was discussing a lot of past stuff, fairly heavy and tricky. Got to the end of the last session and my counsellor pointed out that although I was able to explain things in a very eloquent and coherent way and could 'say' how it made me feel and affected me I didn't seem to display any real emotion.
Came away from that and realised she'd really hit the nail on the head. I rarely 'feel' any major emotions, the only time I truly do is in situations of major stress or conflict and then I am a bubbling shouting crying mess! I don't miss the people I care about when they're away. I am hyper aware of other people's moods or emotions and I can empathise but I thinks it's something I have learnt to do rather than actually feel.
Mentioned this the following day at my adhd clinic appt. My consultant said the the way I experience and describe my emotions is consistent with Aspergers/asd and that many people with adhd display some of these traits but many not have enough for a separate diagnosis.
I've read mAny posts on here expressing almost the opposite where people feel too much empathy or emotions.
Guess I'm just wondering if anyone can identify with this...
X Ps I am not some of of cold unfeeling robot! I care about many people and things a great deal!!
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Post by chaoticwitch on Jun 22, 2015 18:30:51 GMT
Hi ladybug, I can relate to this, I am very often under-emotional, unyet sometimes even the smallest thing can set me off and I become very emotional (also known as a drama queen) My daughter started at Uni last September and she complained that I didn't contact her very often. The truth is I love my daughter but I don't miss her in the same way as I see other parents reacting to their children leaving home. But at the same time I can go into a crowded room and be overwhelmed with the emotions of others around me. I guess I am affected by emotions but just in a very different way to many others. Things that cause others to feel sad leave me feeling nothing, sometimes to the point that I wonder if I have an overtly narcissistic personality.
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Post by contrarymary on Jun 22, 2015 19:23:21 GMT
me three (sorry for brevity - still determined to get an early night)
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Post by computermandan on Jun 24, 2015 9:07:12 GMT
number four in the house! i come across as incredibly uncaring and non empathetic and in psych consultations it was suggested i lack empathy in a way that made the chap suggest aspergers over adhd. its very hard to reign in when generally talking to my kids. you cant go round wishing the world dead by laser cannon in front of everyone after all
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Post by computermandan on Jun 24, 2015 9:08:00 GMT
and I'd hasten to add reading some very sensitive posts here has made me quetion whether I am just a meanie lol
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Post by chaoticwitch on Jun 25, 2015 8:38:35 GMT
Sometimes I wonder if the lack of emotion may come from years of my childhood not understanding why other children reacted to me in the way they did. I struggled to make friends and was bullied quite severely. I remember feeling really hurt by this. Over many years I surrounded myself with "drivers" to keep me going and one of those is that I don't like to show vulnerability to anyone (I am learning to do this now with family and my close friend), emotions are vulnerability so I somehow turned the volume on that down. Another driver/coping mechanism is laughter, I laugh at the most inappropriate things, I was cracking jokes at both my fathers and mothers funerals. I always end up making light of myself after a panic attack (which can be very confusing for people who don't know me who have just seen me running from a shop, barely able to breath and shaking uncontrollably)
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Post by JustDiagnosed on Jun 26, 2015 5:02:06 GMT
I can totall relate to this. It's something that came up as a result of my marriage breakdown at the beginning of this year.
I feel like I suppress my emotions. I don't miss people I care about when they're not around (including my two kids who I now only see twice a week)
It's not that I don't love them but it's very much 'out of sight out of mind' which seems to be a very ADHD trait..
I've been reading a lot of info from an American specialist called William Dodson. So much of how he explains ADHD just resonates with me.
However one thing he says he sees in 100% of his patients is rejection sensitive dysphoria - reacting in a catastrophic way if someone withdraws their love approval or respect.
Whilst I can relate to being very sensitive to what others think of me I don't think I've ever reacted in a 'catastrophic' fashion.
I've put my emotional detachment down to being a defence mechanism, if I don't let anyone get too close then they can't hurt me..
Be interesting to hear if anyone else can relate to this?
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Post by JustDiagnosed on Jun 26, 2015 5:06:25 GMT
Over many years I surrounded myself with "drivers" to keep me going and one of those is that I don't like to show vulnerability to anyone (I am learning to do this now with family and my close friend), emotions are vulnerability so I somehow turned the volume on that down. Another driver/coping mechanism is laughter, I laugh at the most inappropriate things, I was cracking jokes at both my fathers and mothers funerals. I always end up making light of myself after a panic attack (which can be very confusing for people who don't know me who have just seen me running from a shop, barely able to breath and shaking uncontrollably) This is me all over. I don't show weakness or vulnerability. I think it comes back to being sensitive to what others think of me The laughter defence mechanism is also something I do a lot...
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