Post by yamabushi on Sept 17, 2015 22:10:09 GMT
Hello, how do I get into this...
start from then start...
im from scotland, grew up here and live here now. I'm 33 and have dealt with mild depression memory and focus problems, anxiety and low self esteem my whole life. I've always been aware that something was wrong with the way I function but have never really been able to pin it down.ive moved from place to place, country to countryand job to job the whole time and at this point I feel that I just cannot continue the way that I have been going and feel completely hopeless about even trying anymore. Typically I start work and relationships well, am enthusiastic and positive but very soon slide into being antagonistic, bored, inappropriate and impatient and withdrawn to the point Where I cannot cope with the stress of interacting and come to the point where I am cause myself to be socially rejected and have to leave and start over somewhere else. I've never been able to maintain responsibilities longer than a short period of time , bills, meal preparation, work and daily chores become unfathomably difficult once the novelty wears off and I start to beat myself up about it before deciding that the town,job,country people, whatever just isn't for me. In the end whatever I do and wherever I go the pattern repeats.
the story is long and complicated and I have experimented with meditation, mindfulness,exercise, positive thinking (tony Robbins, etc) ssri's, beta blockers,diet changes, and an assortment of illegal drugs to try to find a functional and sustainable mental state. But nothing has been particularly effective (albeit regular weight lifting has helped me focus some)
long story short I eventually came home to my parents place went to see a adoctor to ask about a diagnosis for add and was referred to the local mental health psychologist. After three months I got my appointment and spoke to her for an hour, she listened to my life story, my anecdotes school, art school and life and work since and told me she would recommend strattera to my gp. I was given the medication and told to come back in a month but after a week and a half of nausia, headaches, and not being able to leave my bed much from exhaustion and zero motivation I quit. I figured that if it was Going to be effective long term I should at least feel a hint of a positive effect, even if we're short lived. So I go and see my gp again, differnt guy, other one left and he told me he was very skeptical of the whole add thing as a real disease, and wasn't comfortable giving any kind of treatment to me. I told him i would like to go back to the specialist and see what she says and he told me he would phone her and try to find out how to proceed and he would call me yesterday or today. When I phoned today the receptionist told me that he had already left and wouldn't be back in until next Tuesday. So now I have no ideas where this is going. Meanwhile I'm living with my parents and out of work, I've had 16 jobs since leaving uni and I know if I somehow find another I will just screw it up again, so my priority is getting some kind of help or treatment.according to my doctor there is no specialist locally and I stimulant medication is very seriously regulated. I'm not sure CBT will do me any good although I'd be willing to try, although to be honest it's just miserable to think how long this is going to be drawn out for before I get taken seriously.
anyway, does anyone have any advice or experience with diagnosis and treatment in scotland? It seems like it's very difficult up here, more so than in England anyway. At this point I'm not sure i have a diagnosis even. Am I even add?
start from then start...
im from scotland, grew up here and live here now. I'm 33 and have dealt with mild depression memory and focus problems, anxiety and low self esteem my whole life. I've always been aware that something was wrong with the way I function but have never really been able to pin it down.ive moved from place to place, country to countryand job to job the whole time and at this point I feel that I just cannot continue the way that I have been going and feel completely hopeless about even trying anymore. Typically I start work and relationships well, am enthusiastic and positive but very soon slide into being antagonistic, bored, inappropriate and impatient and withdrawn to the point Where I cannot cope with the stress of interacting and come to the point where I am cause myself to be socially rejected and have to leave and start over somewhere else. I've never been able to maintain responsibilities longer than a short period of time , bills, meal preparation, work and daily chores become unfathomably difficult once the novelty wears off and I start to beat myself up about it before deciding that the town,job,country people, whatever just isn't for me. In the end whatever I do and wherever I go the pattern repeats.
the story is long and complicated and I have experimented with meditation, mindfulness,exercise, positive thinking (tony Robbins, etc) ssri's, beta blockers,diet changes, and an assortment of illegal drugs to try to find a functional and sustainable mental state. But nothing has been particularly effective (albeit regular weight lifting has helped me focus some)
long story short I eventually came home to my parents place went to see a adoctor to ask about a diagnosis for add and was referred to the local mental health psychologist. After three months I got my appointment and spoke to her for an hour, she listened to my life story, my anecdotes school, art school and life and work since and told me she would recommend strattera to my gp. I was given the medication and told to come back in a month but after a week and a half of nausia, headaches, and not being able to leave my bed much from exhaustion and zero motivation I quit. I figured that if it was Going to be effective long term I should at least feel a hint of a positive effect, even if we're short lived. So I go and see my gp again, differnt guy, other one left and he told me he was very skeptical of the whole add thing as a real disease, and wasn't comfortable giving any kind of treatment to me. I told him i would like to go back to the specialist and see what she says and he told me he would phone her and try to find out how to proceed and he would call me yesterday or today. When I phoned today the receptionist told me that he had already left and wouldn't be back in until next Tuesday. So now I have no ideas where this is going. Meanwhile I'm living with my parents and out of work, I've had 16 jobs since leaving uni and I know if I somehow find another I will just screw it up again, so my priority is getting some kind of help or treatment.according to my doctor there is no specialist locally and I stimulant medication is very seriously regulated. I'm not sure CBT will do me any good although I'd be willing to try, although to be honest it's just miserable to think how long this is going to be drawn out for before I get taken seriously.
anyway, does anyone have any advice or experience with diagnosis and treatment in scotland? It seems like it's very difficult up here, more so than in England anyway. At this point I'm not sure i have a diagnosis even. Am I even add?