lostagain
Member's not posted much yet
Posts: 16
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Post by lostagain on Oct 28, 2015 8:34:17 GMT
Another year is ending and the thought of going trough the appraisal form petrifies me.
I achieved a couple of things throughout the year but if i look back, I know that i should have done much more. I have had some small successes, but this should have taken a couple of weeks I spent 50 of the 52 weeks of the year achieving not much, getting nowhere. How do i explain this in a appraisal form? depressing! I found myself in this situation for years. The thing that surprises me is that despites this massive underachievement i am still here. recently approached a colleague/friend and mentioned that some of my underachieving might be to do AADHD, I explained that i recently discovered that this condition is not uncommon and that it could explain a lot in my life, his opinion his that it is only a lack of self esteem that should be addressed by psychotherapy.
What shall look for when i look for a therapist to help. Any comment is welcome
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Post by clubby on Oct 28, 2015 21:32:48 GMT
The adhd brain is most frustrating because it works at its own pace. It is not only frustrating for employers but also for ourselves. Our emotional system and boss likes getting drip fed constant success but the adhd brain does not deliver this.
Success comes in fits and starts and this is emotionally hard to live with. You have to have great faith that the periods when success isn't evident are simply mysterious preparation periods for the few moments when success appears.
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Post by shiveringsky on Oct 30, 2015 11:49:20 GMT
Remember that your friend's opinion is only an opinion. It's intended to be helpful but it doesn't definitely mean he is right. Only an expert can diagnose it and experts aside, your instincts as the only person who actually has direct access to your brain, should never be dismissed.
My aunt is a psychologist and she was very set against me going for diagnosis. In her case I believe she is of the school who dont believe it is a thing but she was also openly concerned about me getting 'labelled'.
If you think ADHD may be part of the issue, I'd recommend doing what you can to be tested. You won't be diagnosed as ADHD if it is self-esteem alone, but you will have at least satisfied this niggling idea in your mind. My housemate, incidentally was also skeptical when this first began. As I've learned more, his understanding has grown too and he now freely admits that pushing to be diagnosed was one of the best decisions I made.
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lostagain
Member's not posted much yet
Posts: 16
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Post by lostagain on Nov 1, 2015 7:57:42 GMT
Shiveringsky, Clubby thanhs for your insightful and helpful comments.Shiveringsky, i find comfort in your experiemce and understandings on the issues Thanks
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Post by blaze on Nov 2, 2015 6:39:30 GMT
The adhd brain is most frustrating because it works at its own pace. It is not only frustrating for employers but also for ourselves. Our emotional system and boss likes getting drip fed constant success but the adhd brain does not deliver this. Success comes in fits and starts and this is emotionally hard to live with. You have to have great faith that the periods when success isn't evident are simply mysterious preparation periods for the few moments when success appears. appriciate you are saying this in support of the op but your phrasimg of *the adhd brain* suggests universal experience & thats certainly not me. Within work- most definately not home- i allways find i automaticly hyperfocus and handle everythimg flawlessly & ten times quicker than colleges (although i dont work in a results oriengtated job so isnt of use to my boss in that sense!) This isnt intensional, its automatic, and utterly draining. I wish i could pase myself at work (my only area of perfectionism at home) as cfs isnt easy at the best of times but when a weekend of work sucks up all energy i get worse brain fog the rest of the time (although emotionally im much happier for working, and from that pov cope with thecaos from kids better because of that) Just wanted to explain why its helpful not to speak for us all in this way as experiences of living with adhd varry
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Post by clubby on Nov 2, 2015 8:33:41 GMT
blaze I am sorry my choice of words was inappropriate. I am delighted you have found a niche in the workplace with your hyperfocus. Of this, I am trully envious.
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Post by blaze on Nov 2, 2015 9:32:23 GMT
blaze I am sorry my choice of words was inappropriate. I am delighted you have found a niche in the workplace with your hyperfocus. Of this, I am trully envious. dont be sorry, adhd effects people differently and dont be envious! Being unable to shut off the hyperfocus that makes work a success for me is a huge factor in my cfs, if i cd apply the pacing stratagies i use for ehler danlos syndrom & chronic pain that i use sucessfully at home then work wouldnt cost me so much of my energy & health. Equally if i cd apply any of my hyperfocus to managimg our home or within studying i wd have a healthier balance.
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