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Post by stick-or-twist on Oct 31, 2015 2:26:40 GMT
Spending a lifetime feeling that you are different to those around you is more than a momentary self-indulgant period of depression in which you feel people just don't 'get you', it's a & dull ache that has silently affected every part of your growth as a person. It is an ache which you've lived with for so long that you forgot it even existed. It's an ache that felt so 'normal' that only after a diagnosis do you question if you were even really 'living' at all.... or whether you have infact been pretend playing at at life this whole time.
Somewhere along the line i had accepted this feeling of being 'different'. I had given up on finding an answer, seeking a medication or an exploring a potential deficiency which once discovered would make me 'normal'.
I have recently been diagnosed as adhd - inattentive.
But... i've lived half a life already. I've spent years forming behaviours which are not so easily fixed by medication. Most notably, an unhealthy short term thirst for pleasure which leads me to suck the life out of anything which gives me a thrill to the point where shortly afterwards I can barely look at, listen to or even tolerate the thing which was giving me my pleasure fix.
In short, i'm 29, i have an answer which is wonderful in many ways, but it's an answer to a question that i stopped asking long ago. In some ways I now feel more alone than ever.
Thanks AADD-UK for letting me rant!
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Post by vagueandrandom on Oct 31, 2015 13:00:20 GMT
Another time for the 'me too' button! You're still only young! I was (and am) 48 when I was diagnosed. Don't feel alone. Talk to us
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