serenity8
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Post by serenity8 on Nov 21, 2015 2:12:44 GMT
My heart breaks every time I see the look of annoyance and dismissal in someone's face. Once again I've forgotten an engagement or appointment or promise or some kind of detail I really needed to remember. This time it was a promised play date. It's the 5th time ive stood this person up and finally they confronted me about it. The child in question has been in tears because i forgot and they and the parent was left stood up. Hopes of fun were dashed. Me totally unaware and of course my child was also unaware because I had made the plan while on the hoof. I didn't write it down so it may as well not be happening.
I was labelled scatty and a flake. I'm gutted. I want to make it better but I don't know how I can. My friend tells me to give it time.
But patience isn't my strong point.... Anyone else relate to this and the self hatred that comes after?
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Post by petra on Nov 21, 2015 18:19:19 GMT
Funnily enough I read this article the other day about flakey friends. It's not an adhd article but imo may as well be. If it's any consolation, what you have written is typical for a person with adhd. It has nothing to do with not caring, and everything to do with how our brains are wired. Best advice atm is try not to beat yourself up. Unfortunately, self beatings can be a way of life for an adhd'er - it goes with the territory x
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mishery
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Post by mishery on Dec 1, 2015 11:42:18 GMT
Oh, I know the feelings you describe very well. Try to arrange a new play date to make up the ones you forgot. If you have a partner, get them involved in arranging it. If you don't, can ask the friend you mentioned to help? Get them to text you a reminder or such like?
And think about what you would say to someone else with ADHD in your situation? You would be kind, compassionate and understanding. Apply that to yourself.
Terms like "scatty" and especially "flake" are hurtful. But you did not forget maliciously so you do not deserve to be punished with hurtful words.
I am imagining giving you a big hug.
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