Post by thehedgehog on Jan 14, 2016 20:28:56 GMT
I've been feeling some sort of depression and its been almost slow-burning since about November. I thought I could handle it myself and wait until it went away. It got a lot worse after Christmas. Most days I don't have the energy to speak to anyone. When it comes to patients, helping people when you have your own problems is very hard. I was thinking about it and its the reason I have been so withdrawn. I can't stop thinking people don't like me very much and that people are against me. The feeling only gets worse so I have practically stopped engaging. If I do, it's forced.
I used to be better than this, honestly.
The problem with experiencing this sort of thing is it is so hard to come out about it. Then once you've done that you need to find the time to see a doctor. You then need to go on a waiting list for therapy. Medication gives you side effects and often makes things worse, in my experience. I used to take citalopram when I was younger and it made me suicidal. Atomoxetine recently did the same. The latter is for ADHD. Another thing that is making things hard.
My parents are really into the idea that I am becoming a nurse. I think my mum especially, because she has always valued career and academic success. I think the idea that I might become a mental health nurse blows her mind more than she lets on. Especially since I've always been a bit...shit. I have never measured up and my parents have always had to put out fires when it comes to me. All my family and friends are expecting me to finish next Friday. As far as they are currently aware I will finish my training on the 22nd of January but its seems now they might be heavily disappointed.
I used to be better than this, honestly.
The problem with experiencing this sort of thing is it is so hard to come out about it. Then once you've done that you need to find the time to see a doctor. You then need to go on a waiting list for therapy. Medication gives you side effects and often makes things worse, in my experience. I used to take citalopram when I was younger and it made me suicidal. Atomoxetine recently did the same. The latter is for ADHD. Another thing that is making things hard.
My parents are really into the idea that I am becoming a nurse. I think my mum especially, because she has always valued career and academic success. I think the idea that I might become a mental health nurse blows her mind more than she lets on. Especially since I've always been a bit...shit. I have never measured up and my parents have always had to put out fires when it comes to me. All my family and friends are expecting me to finish next Friday. As far as they are currently aware I will finish my training on the 22nd of January but its seems now they might be heavily disappointed.