fudge
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Post by fudge on Feb 3, 2016 0:09:30 GMT
Hello homies. This business of hyper focus. I think it only ever happens to me when I have my back against the wall. I have been in my office building since 6.30pm. It is now midnight. I also worked in the same office from 9am to 1pm. Then picked up my child took him swimming bought dinner made dinner cleared and washed up etc before I came out again to work. Why why why? Because I have left VITAL work to the very last possible moment. Even tonight I did.even tonight I distracted myself for a good hour between 6.30pm and 7.30pm. I have to drive across London tomorrow for a mtg and then back for some more work.that it hopelessly behind.
I cannot tell you how much I hate myself for this. But also how helpful it is to tell people. Because normally I would never reveal the extent of the horror of my shitness.
My contact lense are sticking to my eyes. At least an hour to go.
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Post by anopheles on Feb 3, 2016 10:56:08 GMT
Hyper focus occurs to me most nights when I tell myself I will get off the pc at 11 and it's nearer to 3am and tears are welling up because I just can't get off the damn thing!
And not being able to drag yourself away from 'the fascinator' so you do the 'necessary' in a limited time span is common to me and, I suspect, most of us.
Remember, and I wish I could hear my own advice, only deliberate actions deserve shame. given the choice, you would have done things differently and since our brains work against us, we shouldn't feel shame.
That's not to say nothing can be done.
Does your work know of your condition? They are obliged to make suitable adjustments to take your disability into account.
Can you afford a coach?
I hope things get better for you.
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Post by smogz101 on Feb 3, 2016 10:56:29 GMT
Hi fudge ... did you get it done!? You must be knackered! Hope all goes well today for you! I for one can relate to this, I start work as soon as I get it because its new and exciting. Then I lose interest and make very slow progress, and then the week before a deadline I practically move in to the library. I think this is quite common amongst us ADHD'ers! It is only when something becomes urgent or important that something is done about it! I have sometimes been reduced to tears out of the sheer frustration I have with myself for letting it happen time and time again! So no helpful advice from me I'm afraid, just another case for a 'me too' button on here haha, your certainly not alone! H x
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fudge
Member's not posted much yet
Posts: 49
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Post by fudge on Feb 3, 2016 11:42:35 GMT
Hyper focus occurs to me most nights when I tell myself I will get off the pc at 11 and it's nearer to 3am and tears are welling up because I just can't get off the damn thing! And not being able to drag yourself away from 'the fascinator' so you do the 'necessary' in a limited time span is common to me and, I suspect, most of us. Remember, and I wish I could hear my own advice, only deliberate actions deserve shame. given the choice, you would have done things differently and since our brains work against us, we shouldn't feel shame. That's not to say nothing can be done. Does your work know of your condition? They are obliged to make suitable adjustments to take your disability into account. Can you afford a coach? I hope things get better for you. Ha! I am the 'boss'. I run the business with my colleague. I could never tell her. I am not yet at the point where I can accept all this was not my own sorry fault. But thank you. The whole shame thing is important to keep an eye on.
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fudge
Member's not posted much yet
Posts: 49
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Post by fudge on Feb 3, 2016 11:44:03 GMT
Hi fudge ... did you get it done!? You must be knackered! Hope all goes well today for you! I for one can relate to this, I start work as soon as I get it because its new and exciting. Then I lose interest and make very slow progress, and then the week before a deadline I practically move in to the library. I think this is quite common amongst us ADHD'ers! It is only when something becomes urgent or important that something is done about it! I have sometimes been reduced to tears out of the sheer frustration I have with myself for letting it happen time and time again! So no helpful advice from me I'm afraid, just another case for a 'me too' button on here haha, your certainly not alone! H x Thank you. I got a lot of it done. But no where near what was needed. Thank you for letting me know I'm not alone! X
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fudge
Member's not posted much yet
Posts: 49
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Post by fudge on Feb 3, 2016 17:35:47 GMT
Hyper focus occurs to me most nights when I tell myself I will get off the pc at 11 and it's nearer to 3am and tears are welling up because I just can't get off the damn thing! And not being able to drag yourself away from 'the fascinator' so you do the 'necessary' in a limited time span is common to me and, I suspect, most of us. Remember, and I wish I could hear my own advice, only deliberate actions deserve shame. given the choice, you would have done things differently and since our brains work against us, we shouldn't feel shame. That's not to say nothing can be done. Does your work know of your condition? They are obliged to make suitable adjustments to take your disability into account. Can you afford a coach? I hope things get better for you. Hello Anopheles. Do you have a coach or have you had one? I have been advised to do CBT because I cannot go down the drug route. I have been thinking intermittently all day about you having tears welling up because you cannot get off the computer. Are they tears of frustration or just your eyes going funny? Because if you are really crying then...I dunno...just wanted to say it made my heart squeeze a little bit. I am sorry you feel so beholden to it. I am sorry I feel so encased myself. Anyway. Here I am again. Could stay at work for another 5 hours but will try to actually "hyper focus" now for one hour so I can go and play.
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Post by contrarymary on Feb 3, 2016 20:16:52 GMT
hello fudge i recall that @dkl-darkknightslover had a coach she strongly recommended, and who was available to coach via skype. i think there's a folder somewhere about coaching... i would definitely use a specialist coach if i could find one i got on with, and could afford it. for more practical things i sometimes use a friend or family member as a body double - having someone else around as a physical presence gives me a sort-of external accountability that keeps me on track. even if we're doing completely different things; like my mother coming round and reading her book in the garden. it's v motivating somehow. as is having a friend or family member chat while i potter - i can get all sorts of jobs done that i procrastinate for ever. and i have one or two friends in particular who are willing and able to help me think things through, work out priorities etc when i'm really really stuck. it feels as tho they have a special superpower, but i think it's a combo of knowing me well and both being brilliant at organising/thinking/planning/breaking things down into steps
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Post by anopheles on Feb 3, 2016 22:32:11 GMT
Hyper focus occurs to me most nights when I tell myself I will get off the pc at 11 and it's nearer to 3am and tears are welling up because I just can't get off the damn thing! And not being able to drag yourself away from 'the fascinator' so you do the 'necessary' in a limited time span is common to me and, I suspect, most of us. Remember, and I wish I could hear my own advice, only deliberate actions deserve shame. given the choice, you would have done things differently and since our brains work against us, we shouldn't feel shame. That's not to say nothing can be done. Does your work know of your condition? They are obliged to make suitable adjustments to take your disability into account. Can you afford a coach? I hope things get better for you. It's frustration. Not having any control over what I find interesting. Head cold has made the last few nights easier as I'm too tired to stay up. I hate having so much mental energy, but burning like a bonfire when I want to be a laser.... If I could get moving, I could invent the Satellite Binoculars, the Mobile Phone Visor, the Electric Carpet tile and the Hover Copter. Some interesting thoughts about time travel too (lol, only joking. I can't work out how to solve the 'how to move a black hole problem' and the 'inevitable death of the traveler conundrum'). No coach. Wouldn't know where to begin, plus my money management skills with impulsivity is not good so not sure I could keep up regular payments. I didn't get on with CBT, too many tasks to do at the last minute or not at all. There are ADHD focussed CBT'ers out there, but I recently finished some person centered counselling which was good. I know myself and I'm trying to learn how to deal with the new me. The symptoms aren't so bad during the day as I take Concerta and the boost tablets. Can't take the boosters too late at night though in case it makes sleep tricky.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 4, 2016 1:29:40 GMT
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Post by vagueandrandom on Feb 4, 2016 1:56:54 GMT
yes, coach . . or just ask us stuff
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Post by clubby on Feb 4, 2016 9:18:40 GMT
I think AADD-UK Forum is the best coach ever. I believe hyperfocus to be a cause and a cure. Hyperfocus gets me in a mess because I hyperfocus on the computer like just now, wanting to reply to 25 posts all of which excite me, instead of getting on with my work. I also hyperfocus inside my head when I go on a journey into LaLaLand. Hyperfocus is a big distraction because it is addictive. Guilt. On the other hand hyperfocus is the cure. When you are in a deadline pickle, along comes Hyperfocus to give you another 8 hours in the day when everyone else is sleeping. When I have messed up and been mega distracted, I embrace Hyperfocus to save me. Who cares if I'm up all night - at least the jobs done. Having said all that. I think it is better to not have such wild swings and to even it all out. Now that is a challenge and a half! So here I am hyperfocusing on this post and I am now going to re-set the brain, as painful as it is. Stop the addiction, picture the consequences, grit the teeth, be super brave, come on, come on aghh...
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Post by clubby on Feb 4, 2016 9:19:35 GMT
Agghhhhh Nearly ....... leave the room ....aghh
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Post by vagueandrandom on Feb 4, 2016 14:19:33 GMT
anophelesMe too! I think it's even worse at night now that I'm medicated during the day. . . my brain starts going into overdrive and keeps me up half(or all) the night! My worst thing is listening to music. I have to stop myself from listening to ANY music at night because I can't stop. . and I really want to. . My current hyperfocus phase is that I get stuck in a room and it's like the rest of the house doesn't exist, until I need to get more coffee, or use the loo. . . Today I'm stuck in my bedroom on my laptop and I should be sorting out my office and I know that I'm stuck, but can't pull myself away. . I couldn't tell you what I've been doing all morning, but it seems like I've been busy. I didn't get on with CBT either. I've written quite a bit on this forum about how I think it's quite important to have counselling/therapy with someone who knows about ADHD.
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Post by clubby on Feb 4, 2016 15:21:51 GMT
vagueandrandom I get stuck in rooms as well. This week I have managed to move about the house but noticed that there are some rooms I just daren't enter. These are my phobic rooms - like my office!!
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Post by contrarymary on Feb 4, 2016 15:52:30 GMT
i get stuck in rooms three sometimes it is the kitchen, even tho i'm right next to the sitting room and it's all warm & enticing with lit candles and a squishy sofa mostly it's my bedroom. i can live on my bed for days at a time, making short forays into other rooms for emergency supplies before returning to live on my bed. i don't know i'm hungry, thirsty, need the bathroom, tired... i'm just On. the study is usually my Avoid room. it's full of Work, projects, admin, paperwork, filing, post, papers & papers and Stuff. i have quick trips in, pull things out to do, would generally hate to get stuck in there. unless i'm hugely on top of things, but not really then either. do other people NOT get stuck in rooms - really?
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Post by anopheles on Feb 5, 2016 9:11:53 GMT
Before diagnosis I used to talk about 'walking through glue'. I would plot out a story, know what I wanted to write. But I couldn't make myself work, like walking through glue, which sounds like what happens when you can't leave a room.
I can't solve it for you, but our flexibility is the key, I think. I got writing because I wanted to please my partner (and show off, probably). The only time I tidy up is when I know guests are coming, because I can't stand people thinking I have a scruffy house.
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