Post by Deleted on Feb 8, 2016 17:54:04 GMT
When we say 'this forum should be safe for people with ADHD', do we mean:
'safe' from attack for our ADHDness; safe because we're understood and shown compassion and forbearance, warts an all; safe among fellow sufferers who care about us, even when we get some things wrong;
or
'safe' from people who are different from us, and whose behaviours, attitudes and beliefs don't conform to our own; safe from others who might cause us offence; safe from ever being offended, because we never have to hear anything offensive?
It's an important question, I think, and goes beyond any 'feud between two members who have left', since it has attracted plenty comment already from those of us who remain. It's a fundamental question that we ought to clarify for the benefit of others who might want to come in, and need to understand the nature of the safety on offer.
Who knows, Nigel Farrage might turn out to have ADHD and want to come in, and it will be tough for him to open his mouth without me taking offence at something he'll say. We need to be clear about whether I should be entitled to complain about him to the administrators for blurting out something crass, or will just have to content myself with calling him out to his face and accepting that he might not see my point.
I don't feel too unsafe, right now, but that might be because I am battle-hardened and have the thick skin of a bloody-minded ADHDer, determined to see a thing through.
So getting told off by a fellow member for a post that she called an ADHD splat didn't make me feel less safe. I'm not sure what an ADHD splat is, but I'm not going to withdraw what I said, because I stand by it and was simply expressing my opinion. Not going to complain about being told off, either, though, because the OM was just as entitled to voice her opinion as I was. Anyway, I wasn't offended at being told I was wrong; just mildly irritated at being misunderstood. No bad.
I am utterly happy to talk about these issues openly, you see.
But I'm not happy, and feel insidiously attacked, when I realise that some members who evidently disagree with the things I have said have gone running to the mods to complain about my offensiveness and get me gagged.
That's f*cking out of order, people. That makes me feel as unsafe as Chinese bookseller, or a Russian dissident having a pop at Putin. I can't defend myself against that sort of behaviour.
So go on - tell me. What is 'safe'?
'safe' from attack for our ADHDness; safe because we're understood and shown compassion and forbearance, warts an all; safe among fellow sufferers who care about us, even when we get some things wrong;
or
'safe' from people who are different from us, and whose behaviours, attitudes and beliefs don't conform to our own; safe from others who might cause us offence; safe from ever being offended, because we never have to hear anything offensive?
It's an important question, I think, and goes beyond any 'feud between two members who have left', since it has attracted plenty comment already from those of us who remain. It's a fundamental question that we ought to clarify for the benefit of others who might want to come in, and need to understand the nature of the safety on offer.
Who knows, Nigel Farrage might turn out to have ADHD and want to come in, and it will be tough for him to open his mouth without me taking offence at something he'll say. We need to be clear about whether I should be entitled to complain about him to the administrators for blurting out something crass, or will just have to content myself with calling him out to his face and accepting that he might not see my point.
I don't feel too unsafe, right now, but that might be because I am battle-hardened and have the thick skin of a bloody-minded ADHDer, determined to see a thing through.
So getting told off by a fellow member for a post that she called an ADHD splat didn't make me feel less safe. I'm not sure what an ADHD splat is, but I'm not going to withdraw what I said, because I stand by it and was simply expressing my opinion. Not going to complain about being told off, either, though, because the OM was just as entitled to voice her opinion as I was. Anyway, I wasn't offended at being told I was wrong; just mildly irritated at being misunderstood. No bad.
I am utterly happy to talk about these issues openly, you see.
But I'm not happy, and feel insidiously attacked, when I realise that some members who evidently disagree with the things I have said have gone running to the mods to complain about my offensiveness and get me gagged.
That's f*cking out of order, people. That makes me feel as unsafe as Chinese bookseller, or a Russian dissident having a pop at Putin. I can't defend myself against that sort of behaviour.
So go on - tell me. What is 'safe'?