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Post by laura on Aug 4, 2009 19:34:58 GMT
worse stupid injuries, im sure everyone has lots i managed to get my head trapped in between a shelf and the stockroom door at work on sunday, i wasnt paying attention to what i was doing and tried to fit through a tiny gap in the door before it closed ive got a bruise on the side of my head and had to record it in the accident book! but today i got hit by a car because i was day dreaming! luckily the car wasnt going very fast so only a few bruises, and a little burn on my hand. but what can you do but laugh? ;D
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Post by andy12345 on Aug 5, 2009 6:55:27 GMT
Oh, laura, that's just as silly as someone recording "shut hand in dustbin"
Okay, I'll bite on this.
No laughing though.......
1)Managed to cut the area between (looking at the scar now) my index finger and thumb........whilst using one of those hand held double-butcher-sharpening steel devices.
2) Numerous slices whilst using my nice sharp cleaver and doing the turbo chop routine
3) slamming the till lid at my old workplace, the hand carries on and one of the fingernails caught the edging strip of the till support and ripped off a bit and I had a 12mm long piece of this stuff deep under the fingernail. Almost made me sick because I had to somehow pull it out. When I looked at the length it started from the top of the finger and went deeper than the part where the nail stops, argh.
4) Doing an absolutely pathetic jump kick at something only for my ankle to actually be bent when I was trying to launch, crunch, pain, still hurts if I load it too much like a electric shock.
5) This one is probably the most ridiculous. I was opening a pease pudding tin. Normally I jab a pointy knife into the bottom of the tin to reduce the vaccuum suction effect. It works well. Anyway, after doing this on loads of tins over the years, I jabbed the tin once but on the second jab my hand got in the way.....It was all done very quick and proves that those skin receptors are extremely quick... The knife jabbed into the area where the side of the thumb joins the hand(where the web skin is) about 10mm. As I realised, I just looked, saw the hole and felt quick sick. There was no strength in the thumb area at all and I wondered if I should do anything about it doh!. I did not go to hospital but as the wound was deep, but not wide, I left it. After a few weeks it was fine. Don't do this at home, kiddies!
I am sure there are many more....Oh spilling a hot coffee down my t shirt as I sat down..nice chest burn. Spilling my dinner, not an injury but what a ££$£$£$ tard. Had wet hands and touched one of those desk halogen lamps that has 2 metal aerials as the light holder thingy, well obviously they conduct electricity if you touch both.......... only 12 volts like putting a 9v on your tongue.
I could tell you more, but you would have to kill me.
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Not telling you who I am
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Post by Not telling you who I am on Aug 5, 2009 8:42:04 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 5, 2009 12:00:27 GMT
I was climbing out of a swimming pool when I was told it was closing time and I should make my way to the changing rooms.
So obviously I dived straight back in.
Maybe I should have considered that a swan dive into the shallow end would not be wise.
Considered. Wise. Hmmm. I'm sure you understand.
My nose now has a useful bump in it that my glasses sit on.
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Post by andy12345 on Aug 5, 2009 15:01:29 GMT
well, dave, only one reply for epic silliness.....Break out the roflcopter
Deleted silly link fail nonsense.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 5, 2009 15:22:30 GMT
I set myself on fire with a bottle of lucazade petrol specially designed by top arsonists to set your pants on fire and make you run very fast and have to strip of in front of colleagues before you realize........... your underwear has also come off.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 5, 2009 17:19:56 GMT
well, dave, only one reply for epic silliness.....Break out the roflcopter
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Post by andy12345 on Aug 5, 2009 17:51:53 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 5, 2009 18:53:51 GMT
i shot myself in the foot!!! after loosing concentration and completely forgetting the rifle was cocked & loaded!
-ouch!
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Post by boo on Aug 5, 2009 20:10:25 GMT
bloody hell matt, now that takes some beating do you still shoot, does anyone still go with you ;D
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Post by Deleted on Aug 5, 2009 20:55:28 GMT
hey boo, no I don't, and no they don't!... ;D -i was 16 at the time and i was very very lucky, i missed all the bones, arteries and nerves and basically just put a nice clean hole through myself! it was a bit of a shock when it went off, felt like someone had hit my foot with a hammer, then i jumped around laughing hysterically. until then the adrenaline wore off... then it didn't seem so funny anyway, i've just got a small, perfectly round, scar and a silly story to show for it! ;D -matt
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Post by laura on Aug 5, 2009 21:02:58 GMT
wow that does take some beating
and i really dont want to be/ hope i wont be the one to do ;D
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Post by andy12345 on Aug 5, 2009 21:22:29 GMT
Matt!
I hear that Dick Cheney is in need of a new shooting partner... Sound like you two should get together.
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Post by boo on Aug 5, 2009 21:56:35 GMT
it was a bit of a shock when it went off, felt like someone had hit my foot with a hammer, then i jumped around laughing hysterically. until then the adrenaline wore off... lmoa .......oh wat a visual image that conjours up, hahaha, soz matt ps. dont forget to give us the heads up first if you do ever decide to give it another shot ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
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Post by Deleted on Aug 6, 2009 10:11:21 GMT
HAHAHAHA... yeah,yeah, very funny everyone!... ;D ;D ;D
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Post by rane76 on Aug 7, 2009 20:03:19 GMT
When I was around the age of 4, not too sure tho, I was in a friends garden, She had a tricycle and in a moment of inspiration I got a piece of hardboard and put it on step they had in their garden, like a ramp. I took the bike and put it on the ramp, front wheel downwards and attached a bungee to the backaxel. I got on the bike and peddled as hard as I could. I hiked forward, then backwards, then side ways and hit my head on the concrete post in the fence. Ended up with stitches, the 1st i think of a few stunts I've try to pull
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Post by boo on Aug 7, 2009 22:03:01 GMT
when i was about 6/7 i thought it was a mighty fine idea to use the pole in the wardrobe in my sisters room as a monkey bar, unfortunately the wardrobe wasnt very sturdy and i pulled it down on top of me amidst cries of i told you so from my panicking parents my son is more accident prone though and has managed to get wedged bum first between two rungs of a ladder laid across the floor that they were supposed to step between, stuck on a rope ladder were 2 teachers had to prise him free (that one was the first of many apologetic calls home from the school declaring they really couldnt understand how it happened and that the equipment was very safe.... blah blah blah ), stepped on a broom and the handle hit his head (i kid you not), walked into a bollard while looking at the helium balloon seller, fallen into nettles and stung from head to toe, fallen off his bike and chipped his front tooth and managed to get his shoe laces caught in front door on his way out and fallen flat on his face, as well as the usual round of peas and beads up nose and stones in ears........ he does seem to have got better as he has got older though, (thankfully) he is a skater now though and still manages to come home covered in bruises and bumps and grazes and cuts
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Post by boo on Aug 7, 2009 22:05:15 GMT
sorry rane76, i meant to say hello too hello
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Post by Deleted on Aug 7, 2009 23:00:28 GMT
If we're including the non-injuries........
I got my head stuck in the railings of a swimming baths balcony and had to be released by the fire brigade. Very embarrassing.
The next school day I was telling my mates about it - and in demonstrating.................guess what
head stuck in the railings again
oh
bugger
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Post by andy12345 on Aug 8, 2009 0:52:54 GMT
Hello Rane76, welcome to the adult thingy board.
Some more painful experiences to remember.
7 years old... There was a playground slide that had bark-side-up sawn logs on the sides of it at the same angle/height. Anyway, I sort of used that as a slide except for some reason I ended up with some epic splinters in my er.. well, one cheek and I don't mean the talking part unless I am talking out of my £$£$£$£$£$£.
16 years old- Stopped on the pavement to look at a car in a showroom for about 3 seconds before I remember I don't really care about cars. I carried on walking- well for about 1 step, because I kid you not, in those 3 seconds, some amazingly efficient post/road workers had inserted a 8 feet high traffic pole where my head now was. Anyway, so bang, carried on walking whilst noticing the post vibrating from the shock.. Epic silliness and no real pain fortunately.
Oh, yeah...7 years old riding a bike (amazingly) at a park. The park has a river around it and..funnily enough, a slope down to the river. Anyway, for some reason, my bike become a bit thirsty, not realising that water would rust it, and the bike turned into the slope and went straight down, splash. Well, I suppose if you are going to do anything, you might as well make a big impact and drink up the applause.
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Post by rane76 on Aug 9, 2009 17:08:47 GMT
Hello to both of you and thanks for welcoming me to your chat thingy
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Post by Deleted on Aug 9, 2009 19:05:52 GMT
Hi Rane Apart from my piromania accident Which everyone blanked or maybe Im getting piromaniad, I have had loads of bike accidents we used to dare each other to fly out into a main road at a T junction on the way to park. It now gives me the heebee jeebees. any way I did this one day and went into the side of mums boses car and put a big dent in it fortunately he didn’t recognise me, and I aploligised and got off. Tell you one good thing about accidents they don’t half give you a rush like you have cheated death apart from the time I fractured my skull passed out and nearly went into a coma. But its good fun to talk about and have a laugh showing scars etc, as we all make mistakes from time to time.
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Post by laura on Aug 9, 2009 20:41:54 GMT
hello safensound sorry completely overlooked your post but ive just read it now you mentioned it. what is lucazade petrol? is it just lucazade or am i trying to complicate it/over thinking it hello rane when i was younger maybe 15/16 i was trying to beat my friends who were going up the escalators by running up the stairs next to them (they didnt know i was racing them i just decided it would be fun). it was in a busy shopping centre, anway i tripped up the last step which sent me flying across the floor at the top, actually skidded on my front across the floor and ended up a few meters away from the top of the stairs. i couldnt stop replaying it in my head, so when my friends got to the top i was still lying on the floor laughing at myself. i think they were more embarressed than me. i got a few stares from people passing by, but i won! ;D also when i was the same age i was waving to a guy i really liked out the window while going up the stairs on the bus. i missed the top step, and he said i just vanished from sight. the embarrasment, he wouldnt let me forget about it what is it with stairs, is it just me that manages to fall up the stairs all the time? but i dont fall down the stairs very much
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Post by boo on Aug 10, 2009 8:49:54 GMT
Haha laura, I fall up the stairs loads too, but not down
I was at work once and had just got a coffee from the canteen one floor down. On my way back up to my desk someone stood at the top and help the door open for me. I missed a stair and fell flat on my face just in front of his feet hand in the air having managed somehow to save the coffee from going everywhere.
I was so embarrassed I tried to get up quickly to scuttle away, but missed my footing in my hurry and did it again, flat on my face same stair, hadn’t moved an inch!....BUT I did manage to save the coffee AGAIN……. What an achievement, what an idiot ;D
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Post by Deleted on Aug 10, 2009 11:33:25 GMT
Hi Laura, boo Reminds me when in front of school went to get an award for raising money for blind raced up stairs to stage and fell and whole of school laughed at me. Her dad always says to me cant you walk up stairs have you always got to run and now my toddler runs everywere falls over and bangs into things. I once jumped of back of bus in victoria and nearly broke my neck used to love running onto thoes london buses when they were going like i was in a movie.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 10, 2009 16:49:58 GMT
HAHAHAHAHA safensound, sorry i don't know how i missed your post, that's SO funny! - clearly you have my very deepest sympathy... but you running around, tugging off your flame covered pants is such a funny picture!
hope there was no lasting damage mate!
when you turn up at the office, do they sing that Kings of Leon song?
"WOOOO HOOOO... your sex is on fire!..."
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Post by Deleted on Aug 11, 2009 0:16:13 GMT
I broke the lampshade of the lamp on my (very low, improvised) bedside table - obviously never bothered to replace it and managed somehow to turn around in bed while reading a book, drop the book on the lamp, which fell on my face, resulting in a nice burn on my chin from the bare light bulb, which took quite while to heal/fade Still, you know, at least I haven't SHOT myself... ;D just kidding...
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Post by Deleted on Aug 11, 2009 12:28:49 GMT
hahaha, cheers heifa! ;D -MM
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Post by andy12345 on Aug 17, 2009 1:05:19 GMT
How about a silly mishap today? Ssssso, I was flossing my teeth which really is great fun, is it not. It seems to take me forever to do all teeth (about 50minutes) what a snail. Anyway, instead of long strands of floss, I was using these very wasteful, disposable green colour toothpick one end- pre floss thing on the other end. No way am I going to use 20 per session or whatever they think.... So I dunked in mouthwash each time I did a tooth gap (2 sides of teeth) for extra cleansing and sterility of the gum sulcus etc Anyway, I got to the back teeth and I had to bend the toothpick/floss device with both hands. Well, of course half of the cap of mouthwash that I had in one hand tilted over me splash (only 10ml) As I was thinking about this, I carried on flossing, but had to straighten out the toothpick.........oh dear, the cap of mouthwash was STILL in one hand and the other 10ml splashed over me.....groan. To cap it all (no pun intended) as I had only 6 sides of back teeth to do, I noticed a nice big mosquito about to have an early morning snack on my arm. Anyway, so I tried to find and eliminate this stripey big mosquito (watch out for tiger mosquito's - they will cause swelling) As I was flailing around, the cat was trying to avoid me lol. Also, I sometimes flicked the floss thingy to get excess mouthwash off and on one occasion I caught the blinds cord with my hand and it made just a bit of noise... (what a tard!!) After 8 mins of trying to destroy the mosquito by tracking it (black and white tiles and dark colour ceiling not good for tracking a dark colour bug!!) So, you are probably thinking that it bit me before I finished flossing. HA! well I got out of the bathroom alive and I DID NOT! 1) fall over the cat 2) fall over myself 3) stub my toe 4) wake anyone up Thanks for reading and I hope you got a bit of a laugh out of my descriptions. Maybe it's easier just not to chew anything and make soups instead? However, noodle soup and peanut butter sandwich soup does not quite have the same appeal to it as does bread soup......urgh!
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Post by Deleted on Aug 17, 2009 7:57:33 GMT
marvelousmatt Senior Member
Thats spooky, tommy in work did used to sing that to me wondered what that was about youve just made the penny drop.............. doe. Not that tommy can talk hes a mate of my younger brothers they had the genius idea to take some crates of beer up a mountain in wales after drinking the beer they then had to get down mountain tommy was so wasted fell down mountain split head open and had to be air lifted by RAF sealand. had a laugh in work somtimes miss it now. Tommy now has big scar down front of his head.
After i set pants on fire i left for a while few months later, this left lemmings alone to light fires on demolution site. This guy put loads of petrol all over this wood in big metal catering bin lit and nothing happened went back to see what was up, were it caught light and exploded in his face melted his eyebrows off wish id been there to see soft %^&*er. Joking apart need caution know story of forman who tragically died doing simmilar task closing the company and ending his life.
Apart from being phisically clumbsy i am verbally clumbsy got bad case of foot in mouth disease. was at fair with kids getting face painted talking to two artists doing kids trying to be pleasant and managed to make comments to both that could have been misconstrude as quiet unpleasant. Somtimes i just give up and dont say anything as i just fuck up all the time does anyone else suffer with this.
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