jakk1e
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Post by jakk1e on Feb 25, 2017 2:19:43 GMT
When I first found this site I thought it would be a massive help..... And it was, initially.
I realise for a lot of people who put there thoughts on here on a regular basis that it is a fantastic lifeline and entry into a social environment.......
The honeymoon period of realising where my failures stem from is over and I think I'm realising there is no magic wand.....
Kina sucks.
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jakk1e
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Post by jakk1e on Feb 22, 2017 22:37:39 GMT
You get to the checkout and you can't remember the pin you've had for 15 yes. To the point where you pretend it's the wrong card, ask if they will accept a signature and have to have your trolley of shopping wheeled to the walk Inn fridge so you can come back with payment later.......
Awkward
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jakk1e
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Post by jakk1e on Feb 20, 2017 17:53:07 GMT
Another thing found on here which makes sense to me.
Sorry no experience of I've although I see this thread is quite old.
I have been aware for a year or more that I have one week a month when I'm far more productive than the others. It's often a God send because I can just about get enough done that I can get on top of things before reverting to type.
I can only assume my hormones effect my ability to concentrate.
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jakk1e
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Post by jakk1e on Feb 20, 2017 17:34:42 GMT
So... This morning I quite spontaneously decided to take the next very small step to being diagnosed.
I rang my doctor (who said categorically there was nothing he could do) and told him I'd found SLAM and that they take national referrals. He agreed to put forward a request for funding to ccg.
Having looked up this process I'm a little confused. How can he put forward a compelling argument to get me funding based on a 1minute "I think I've got" conversation??
This afternoon the occ hl team called me to discuss what measures they could put in place to assist me with work. I allowed my boss to put me forward to them purely because I work for an American company and they are based over there. Knowing that the US have diagnosed and treated adhd in adults for over 50 year's I thought they may have some tricks up their sleeves.
Anyway the woman asked me to give an example of how it effects my work and I was cringing while hearing my self explain that after psyching myself up to do something and getting started I would find myself in the kitchen 10 minutes later making a cup of tea I didn't even remember deciding I wanted.....
Anyway she's going to send me an email with some info but I'm not holding out hope for a magic fix.
Despite going through these processes I still don't think I've found the answer to your question though.
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jakk1e
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Post by jakk1e on Feb 20, 2017 13:29:39 GMT
you find it in the FIRST place you looked, but at that moment you forgot what you were looking for, only to realise your mistake when you're already 3 minutes late for work. Or, you find yourself randomly walking around looking hoping that when you see it you'll remember that was what you were looking for.
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jakk1e
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Post by jakk1e on Feb 20, 2017 8:28:15 GMT
Wow. Compulsive over sharing.... Didn't even know that could be related but that's another box ticked in the self dx survey.
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jakk1e
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Post by jakk1e on Feb 16, 2017 17:30:47 GMT
So going back to ants question of to be diagnosed or not I was starting to get cold feet worrying that if I go through the process I will just be told I'm lazy.
The whole remembering something for a fleeting moment then forgetting..... Doesn't everyone do that?
Putting things off till tomorrow whether it's something you actually want to do or not...... Isn't that just bone-idleness?
Zoning out and thinking about God knows what even when your best friend is talking about a family members life limiting illness... Isn't that just arrogance??
Jumping from one job to another half way through..... Ditzy??
Doing half a job... Lazy
I don't have anxiety (I don't think so anyway)
I've never suffered from depression.
So am I just looking for an excuse when really I'm just a rubbish daughter, employee and friend?
I've started avoiding commitments and my parents think I don't care because when they ask me if I'll come see then soon I say I've got loads on. Actually what I mean is that I know I've agreed to stuff but I can't remember what or when so I lie.
My standard response to a date specific commitment is ask me closer to the time.
Anyway this all seems very negative so I'll change tack. Today started well. Instead of floundering my way through trying to find the urgent things I'd forgotten I decided to go from the top of the list. Which was fine until half way through task 2 responses came in on the thing I'd just done. Can't blame the clients when they had waited so long but it put me off my stride and now I genuinely couldn't tell you how many things I'm part way through.
On the plus side I didn't faff on the Internet all afternoon and all the things I'm part way through are things I've been putting off so it's a start at least.
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jakk1e
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Post by jakk1e on Feb 15, 2017 20:46:58 GMT
Today I have put away the Christmas decorations which I diggilantly took down the first week of January and left on the living room floor.
Better than last year I'm sure it was March.
Has anyone else had a little win today/this week so far?
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jakk1e
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Post by jakk1e on Feb 14, 2017 17:47:42 GMT
Ahhh. Well I'm genuinely not sure how much these things help but at least it makes me feel like I'm making a bit of effort.
I stop what I'm doing and reply to messages straight away otherwise I'll forget I even got them.
Work wise I have started leaving my mobile with a trusted colleague so I can't get distracted by texts which always end up in long drawn out conversations taking me away from work.
I have turned off my email alerts and only read them first thing in the morning and I've reverted to old fashioned paper files which helps me just do one thing at a time.
I use the electronic post-it function (I'm dyslexic so pen and paper are my nemesis) and whenever I think of something I've forgotten I jot it down. In theory this also helps prevent me from starting multiple tasks without finishing any.
Home wise I inadvertently got myself an ocd lodger who puts up with a lot but isn't shy about telling me what's needed and like a parent will sometimes stand over me or nag till its done.
And I have a cleaner who is also my best mate and texts me regularly with updates on her next visit like "today is Tuesday and I am coming Thursday are you going to tidy tonight or do I need to text you tomorrow" and I try, although never quite finish, to tidy everywhere before she comes. Which is every 2 weeks and keeps the place vaguely descent. (the reminding what day it currently is is vitally important)
Oh and I batch cook and freeze meals ready to go. Spend less and don't get all impulsive and take a burnt cottage pie big enough for 8 out of the oven at midnight.... Not very often anyway. The plan is always to have a selection but I usually end up eating spag bol for breakfast lunch and dinner for 5 days then realise I've got no food.
Clearly these things are by no means perfect but it's a start and I'd love any other suggestions.
Appointments is a big issue.... I tried a diary once but hyperfocused on it and got cocky even putting things into time slots. It ended up as more of a to do list and I missed the important stuff because I was still working through last week's entries.
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jakk1e
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Post by jakk1e on Feb 13, 2017 17:52:30 GMT
Hi ant.
It really is quite enlightening on here isn't it. It's nice to see that others manage to articulate exactly what I'm thinking.
Today's distractions were texting my sister about all this gumff and writing a list of ingredients I need to take to my friends for dinner tonight, I finally got round to looking at the one urgent file I absolutely had to look at at 2 pm. Only got 5 pages through the report in the first hour only to realise that it was far more complicated than I expected.
Subsequently spent half an hour beating myself up for not concentrating half an hour reading the rest interspersed with more self loathing and the rest of the day writing and rewriting a ranty justification with all the half arsed reasons why hitting today's deadline was never going to happen.
"I'll try again tomorrow" has been my life mantra
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jakk1e
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Post by jakk1e on Feb 13, 2017 17:36:32 GMT
Hi Ant.
I'm glad you appreciated my thoughts because it was a total rant and new day means new ranty thoughts do it seems I myself am also going round in circles.
Looks like my insurance will only cover up to £1000 per year and won't cover prescriptions. I very much doubt that would give me the answers /help I'm looking for.... (a magic wand)
I mentioned it to my sister today who asked the right questions but her instinct was the same as my mid-term but very casual partner.... Your a grown up. Try harder.
Ho hum. I wonder what I'll think tomorrow?
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jakk1e
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Post by jakk1e on Feb 11, 2017 20:42:43 GMT
So I've read that people with adhd are more likely to be addicts of some description.
I wonder what other people's thoughts on this are.
I for one went off the rails on my late teens early twenties and whilst I stopped short of herroin or meth amph I wasn't picky. Looking back I would suggest this may have been the hype side of things.
Miraculously I walked away without any official structured help but have smoked since I was old enough and did just open my 2nd bottle of wine this evening.... (which is not unusual).
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jakk1e
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Post by jakk1e on Feb 11, 2017 19:47:31 GMT
Thank you vagueandrandom.
I have been to my gp. He said apart from a severe nonfuncioning "sufferer" (a term I don't like) he didn't have any experience. He said they ended up going to a private specialist in London.
He gave details but I forgot before I closed the door behind me.
He was very supportive and agreed without hesitation to write me a letter of referral for my insurance but said there wasn't anything he could do.
Maybe I'll go back after my first consultation and ask but I hate to waste his time.
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jakk1e
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Post by jakk1e on Feb 11, 2017 18:24:10 GMT
Hi vagueandrandom
Thanks for your reply. I think now at 33 I'm only just understanding how this may have impacted me.
I gave up on relationships a long time ago, work I cope with but with huge frustration because I know I can be so much better and the bare minimum of domestic attention has so far seen me through.
Right now I need to get my thoughts together and decided what direction to go first. I would love to March up to my parents and scream and shout until they say it's all their fault and if only they had explained and continued to push for help keeping me involved in it enough that I could ultimately fight for myself.... .
In reality though it looks like the support didn't and still doesn't exist for adults and confrontation would only end in tears. I don't know about you but seeing my mum cry basically tears me apart and it happens far to often anyway without me rocking the very delicate boat.
So..... As with my usual state of play there was a point I was coming back to but I've forgotten it and my dinner is burnt.
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jakk1e
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Post by jakk1e on Feb 11, 2017 17:19:41 GMT
Hi madmummy,
I'm sorry, I've been on many subsequently deleted rants in answer to your call for support. All I can say is take it one day at a time. I realise it is daunting but it can only ultimately be a positive process.
I hope it helps you to understand your baby better and learn ways of coping yourself.
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jakk1e
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Post by jakk1e on Feb 11, 2017 16:14:43 GMT
Hello everyone.
I do not currently have dx but as I did as a child and now with the concept of it carrying on into adulthood my life suddenly makes sense.
My question really is as above. I've heard people mentioning issues with getting medication due to monitoring / funding problems. I've never been private before for anything but I presume that if your willing to pay there is no restrictions .....?
Also does anybody have recommendations for private consultant's on or around the Hants/Surrey border?
Thanks
J
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jakk1e
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Post by jakk1e on Feb 11, 2017 0:05:48 GMT
I've been asked to do a workshop about supporting ADHD kids in the classroom. The entire Senior Leadership Team is coming. I've known about it for four weeks. It's tomorrow. I've just spent all morning on the Ikea website thinking about redecorating my bedroom. How did it go?
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jakk1e
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Post by jakk1e on Feb 10, 2017 23:46:21 GMT
Hi ant.
I just signed on here too. I actually had the diagnosis as a child and through school had medication but it started when I was quite young and I don't remember being sat down and talked to about it. Then I finished school stopped the medication and still noone explained.
I'm so pleased since seeing a news report on adults with adhd that my life makes sense again but as with you, I am coping.... Or should I say functioning by way of bare minimum when it comes to important things anyway.
I'm actually slightly envious of your outlook. I personally will be looking for professional confirmation and help.
I don't want to feel like I'm dragging myself through every day any more though.
I don't want to cope, I want to be good or great even.
Maybe given time I'll get used to the idea and some help with coping mechanisms may put me on a path I'm happy with.
I guess you need to do what seems right to you.
There is no right answer.
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jakk1e
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Post by jakk1e on Feb 10, 2017 22:26:42 GMT
So.... I saw a chat/interview about adults with adhd on breakfast TV on Saturday last week and everything all of a sudden fell into place.
I feel like a total idiot though as I was diagnosed and treated as a child. My parents were keen on academia and everything was done through the school but I don't remember ever having it explained to me. All I knew was the dictionary understanding of the sequence of words in the title. I was on ritalin from the age of 7 and when I finished my gcses I stopped taking it and I remember my mum just shrugging and saying it was up to me.
So... I suddenly this week became really positive. Thought maybe I could turn my life around, stand on my own two feet and do more than the bare minimum to get by. All I needed to do was go and get help.
Oh boy how silly of me. I have private insurance through work but possibly not for long as I'm on notice of redundancy. They're basing the decision on last year's reviews and I guess you will not be surprised when you hear that mine were fine apart from the whole controlling moods relative to a professional environment, concentration, speed and attention to detail aspects.
Anyway that's my story so far this forum looks quite daunting right now so not sure where to go next but please feel free to say hi.
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