spirit73
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The struggle goes on and on can't even find a private psychiatrist.......give up ????
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Post by spirit73 on Nov 22, 2015 14:54:05 GMT
Hi everyone hope your all well. I am 42 years old and known I've been very different since a child. After spending years self diagnosing myself with a form of mental health and having no support from my doctor I read the symptoms of ADD and have made a private appointment to see a psychiatric professional immediately! I tick all the boxes so to speak and already feel relived that I can finally get better and understand why I don't function right but am very creative. Bit strange what's happening but since I read ADD symptoms I do feel like there's light at the end of the tunnel I can't afford a private psychiatrist but I won £450 yesterday so instead of wasting it on shit I decide to see someone to get the process moving that will probably only pay for 2 sessions but I am so focused on getting better and sick of the other side of this illness like anxiety and locking myself away and trying to do one thousand things at once!! The only thing am very affraid off is actually talking about it at this appointment in case it sends my anxiety through the roof can anyone please shed some light on this when you have seen someone about your illmess? Kind regards love and light Phil
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drfturner
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Post by drfturner on Nov 23, 2015 17:07:37 GMT
My name is Fay Turner, and I enjoy meeting new people and finding ways to help them have an uplifting experience. I am dedicated, passionate and outgoing. Hope everyone's well! I am a survivor!
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Post by vagueandrandom on Nov 24, 2015 0:53:44 GMT
Hi there! spirit73have a look around. . .we're all quite friendly. Start your own thread or diary. . .or ask us some questions
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missykat
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Post by missykat on Nov 24, 2015 18:21:26 GMT
Hi my name is Kath,and Im concerned about my son. He's 36yrs old and for years now I have had feelings that there is something not quite right.
I will try to go into some of the history and try to keep it as brief as possible. I was only 18 when I had him some would probably say just a child myself. Looking back I wouldn't say I was a particularly good Mum but I did love him and his sister who was born 3yrs later.
We didn't have a lot in the first few years of marriage but we always tried to do our best for them, mainly down to my husband as I had been a bit spoilt growing up.
When he was in primary school I recall his teacher saying he was a little disruptive but not really naughty. In senior school he didn't really take thing seriously. But he was quite popular with the other kids, could have been a good footballer but couldn't really be bothered.
We always had quite a volatile relationship because he would go out and not tell us where he was and not come home when he said he would. And he used to smoke (not really unusual,I know) and he used to spend all his money in bandits.
When he left school he had so many chances, he wouldn't go to college or get a job. And when he did get a job they were short lived, to be honest I've lost count how many jobs he's actually had and non of them for very long.
He's always ill and I don't just mean colds, the list is endless some are real but I'm pretty sure not all of them.
I paid for him to learn to drive because I thought it might give him something to focus on and he had no problems at with that. He passed his theory second time and passed his test after only about 12 lessons. That was only 9 years ago since then he has had several cars, the first 2 the engines blew cause he didn't put oil and water in. Then he lost his licence due to drink driving, he only bothered 2 years ago to get his licence back and wrote the first car off and had the next one about 6 weeks, don't really know why I can only believe that he couldn't afford the insurance which is what he told me.
He has lost his last 2 relationships which he has children with and doesn't see his kids from the 2nd one.
He is with a lovely girl at the moment and I really hope for his sake she can be strong enough to cope with him long term because she is only 24 but quite mature.
I could go on but like I said " I will keep it brief" lol.
What Im really asking is does this sound like aadd.? By the way a 5 years ago we discovered our then 28yr old Daughter has Temporal lobe epilepsy. Are they likely to be connected.?
If anyone on here thinks it is aadd should I broach the subject with him. He was supposed to be having some sessions of cbt for his gambling but he didn't go last week and I'm pretty sure he hasn't been this week either. I really thought this might help.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 24, 2015 19:29:42 GMT
Hi my name is Kath,and Im concerned about my son. He's 36yrs old and for years now I have had feelings that there is something not quite right. What Im really asking is does this sound like aadd.? By the way a 5 years ago we discovered our then 28yr old Daughter has Temporal lobe epilepsy. Are they likely to be connected.? Welcome, missykat. In the site faqs aadduk.org/faq/, there is a link to a checklist of symptoms. I couldn't personally say either way from the things you have written, but maybe if you look at the specific checklist it may seem clearer. Others may well have comments too.
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missykat
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Post by missykat on Nov 24, 2015 19:53:42 GMT
Hi Palergonium
I keep reading the checklists and Im 50/50 but surely he can't want to live like this
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Post by dizzyblonde on Nov 28, 2015 16:49:21 GMT
Hi, Never been on a forum before and not sure whether I'm answering someone's post or just saying 'hello'. I've just been diagnosed with severe ADD with Hyperactivity and Impulsivity, at 50 years old. Tbh I'm delighted with the diagnosis as it explains so many things, but I wish I'd had it years ago. It's been tough in the UK to get this as there don't seem to be too many psychiatrists that deal specifically with Adult ADD, although they will readily diagnose it in children. I've been given the option of one of three medications: Ritalin, Lesdexafetamine (Vyanse) or Atomoxetine (strattera). I'm pretty sure I'm going to go for the Lesdexamfetamine as I'd like something that's quick acting and if I want a day off I can have one and the side effects seem like they may be better than Ritalin. I know it's not one size fits all as far as meds go but I'm at the stage where I'd try anything at all just to get some quiet in my head lol. I've struggled so hard with this for so long, feeling like a square peg in a round hole, that I just can't wait to see if there's something out there that can help me take steps to be like others. So I can leave the house in the morning without having to search high and low for my keys, or to get my little boy to school on time without spending about half an hour trying to find some socks. I've only just joined this site and am looking forward to chatting to others who have the same issues.
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Post by dizzyblonde on Nov 28, 2015 17:15:38 GMT
Hi everyone hope your all well. I am 42 years old and known I've been very different since a child. After spending years self diagnosing myself with a form of mental health and having no support from my doctor I read the symptoms of ADD and have made a private appointment to see a psychiatric professional immediately! I tick all the boxes so to speak and already feel relived that I can finally get better and understand why I don't function right but am very creative. Bit strange what's happening but since I read ADD symptoms I do feel like there's light at the end of the tunnel I can't afford a private psychiatrist but I won £450 yesterday so instead of wasting it on shit I decide to see someone to get the process moving that will probably only pay for 2 sessions but I am so focused on getting better and sick of the other side of this illness like anxiety and locking myself away and trying to do one thousand things at once!! The only thing am very affraid off is actually talking about it at this appointment in case it sends my anxiety through the roof can anyone please shed some light on this when you have seen someone about your illmess? Kind regards love and light Phil Hi Phil I've recently been diagnosed with ADD by an NHS psychiatrist. It has taken a year and a half to get through the system as there aren't many people who specialise in ADD in our area. However, I'm hoping it's going to be worth the wait. I am going for some health checks and will have some medication by the end of December which I am hoping is going to make an immediate difference (I realize it may not but I live in hope). I don't suffer from anxiety and found the questions not too difficult to handle. I did end up in tears a few times though as it makes you realize when you talk to them just how far from 'normal' you really are. Obviously their questions are designed to pick out the problems we have to deal with, as that's how they make their diagnosis, but no matter how anxious you're going to feel it will be worth getting it done. And they will help you through it. Just make sure that you get someone who specialises in ADD in adults and isn't just a general psychiatrist as they probably won't be so much help and you want to get your money's worth. I went to my GP first of all who has an interest in ADD and she referred me to a psychologist who then passed me on to a psychiatrist who is the final step in the diagnosis. At each appointment I took along with me some printed notes about me, about my specific problems both as a child and at the moment, about the stuff I struggle with and how the whole lot affects me. They all said that this helped and it also meant that I felt prepared. Maybe doing this would help a bit with your anxiety? A lot of the stuff they asked was pretty general and related to all the stuff in the standard ADD tests which you can find online. I also had to fill in the tests and also take one home for a family member/close friend to fill in with their opinions on me. Unfortunately, where we live there is no counselling available for ADD, just medication, but they seem to think that once you're on meds, that self help books are as good as anything as the stuff they recommend is much easier to follow once your ADD has been reined in. Good Luck x
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Post by hermanli on Dec 10, 2015 14:42:18 GMT
welcome dizzyblonde!
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hjamesw
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Post by hjamesw on Jan 2, 2016 16:26:19 GMT
gday all.. not actually living in the uk but found this site really helpful and welcoming (ADHD not a really easy subject to talk about in Aus, and even harder to a GP!). Im 24 and have been coming to terms over the years that something isn't the same with me as it is with others, and after doing a fair bit of reading up I strongly believe this is an issue I need to talk about. ADHD ticks all the boxes and self help only goes so far when youre responsible for your own life! anyway thought id jump in and say hi. not clinically diagnosed yet but trying (most doctors here will avoid the topic because of the opinion of the disorder and the government stance on the medication given). figured here would be a good unbiased place to talk freely about it
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brownie
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Post by brownie on Jan 14, 2016 11:20:47 GMT
Hi all. I'm in my late thirties. I read a newspaper article about ADHD about 5 years ago and a light went on - I realised why I'd had a lifelong struggle with motivation, organisation and focus. My symptoms fit the predominantly inattentive type. I coped with school and university - my struggle with coursework and deadlines was offset by my ability to hyperfocus on subjects that interested me. Work was a struggle though and became increasingly bad over time - constantly behind, trying to cover up failure to keep on top of routine tasks, always apologising and feeling guilty and ashamed. I also started to find offices unbearably claustrophobic places to be. It was a real relief to read that list of symptoms and realise it was just a part of my personality and not a moral failing. Since then I've slowly managed to get out of the bureaucratic career I was failing in and become a home-based freelancer in a career that fits my personality and abilities better. I'm not out of the woods yet though, and I spend a lot of time distracted and unable to focus. Which has financial implications because now I only get paid when I'm actually productive! I'm also married with two young children now, which has been both wonderful - an outlet for creativity and sensitivity and play - and also incredibly stressful. I've never tried to get diagnosed, and I'm wary of asking for medication. But I'd like to look into it and discuss it with others in similar situations, because I feel like both my family and myself need me to deal with my ADHD better. So that's why I'm here.
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davem
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Post by davem on Jan 14, 2016 20:45:13 GMT
Hello everybody, my name is Dave, I'm 36 years old and I was diagnosed with ADHD on Monday. My background is psychology, I have a BSc and an MSc in Psychology and I had my PhD accepted with minor corrections last year. I've been struggling quite a bit over the past few years, especially during my PhD where my disorganisation, my inability to follow through on tasks and my propensity to make mistakes due to lapses of attention made the entire process a complete nightmare for me. In light of my obvious executive function problems, I am underemployed relative to my skills. Most recently I've been sorting mail as a casual employee.
It was apparent to me from a very early age that I had issues with hyperactivity, inattention and planning. I left school with no qualifications as I did not sit any examinations. However, I'd never been exposed to a high achieving environment prior to entering university. I have OCD, major depression and I had issues with substance abuse but I've been completely clean of alcohol and drugs of abuse for 13 years.
I'm due to begin with slow-release methylphenidate in the coming days but I'm apprehensive about it in light of my history, and because I am fearful of the side effects.
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woody387
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Post by woody387 on Jan 22, 2016 15:18:59 GMT
I think I may have adult adhd and thinking of getting diagnosed. My daughter aged 20 thinks I have it. Looking at the symptoms I have everything but the lateness and disorganisation so I am not sure
Since a child I have also suffered with anxiety and depression, did poor at school, was naughty really when I look back at school. These days my moods are up and down, cannot focus, over share, say inappropriate stuff, cannot sit still and get bored easily.
Any advice?
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Post by vagueandrandom on Jan 22, 2016 18:27:19 GMT
Hey woody387 Welcome to the forum I'm guessing your age to be 40s if you have a 20 year old daughter. I was diagnosed last year at 48. I'm always early and super-organised. I've come to realise that this is because I've developed my own coping mechanisms. I'm early because I always used to be late and now I over-compensate by giving myself way too much time to get anywhere. I trick myself into believing that I have to leave at a certain time or I'll be late, but I've already added an extra half an hour. People think I'm really organised because I write everything in a diary and copy it to my phone. I have folders and clipboards and lists and 2 filing cabinets and a whiteboard. I have systems for keeping track of my belongings, like always keeping things in the same place, or same pockets. I change my systems fairly regularly because they don't really work. There's too many and I try to edit them. And then there's the important piles of papers that need filing. . . .NTs don't need all of these systems and rituals. Again, I over-compensate. What I'm trying to say is that timekeeping and organisation at your age may have been learned, so don't discount ADD as a possibility because of this.
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woody387
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Post by woody387 on Jan 25, 2016 20:28:03 GMT
Yes in forties, I hate lateness and very organised but as you say could have learnt this Thanks
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stainrod
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Post by stainrod on Jan 26, 2016 12:20:04 GMT
Hello, I was diagnosed with ADHD in July last year and can identify with the "coping strategy" theory especially with overcoming lateness and not losing keys.As I have begun to (slowly) accept my condition I am looking back on my life and beginning to realise that the whole thing has been a coping strategy!! I've managed to do ok in life with work and friends (although I have known some strange characters down the years!) my problems come in my relationships.... I am pretty much near the end of my second marriage, although I am fighting to save it every day, and have an 11 year old daughter and a twenty something step daughter who I haven't seen or heard from in years. I have a grown stepson and a young son and daughter from my current marriage. I haven't spoken to any of my relations or my mum and sister in over three years for various reasons, I'm even out of touch with my childhood friends some of whom I've known for over 30 years so it's quite hard to ask anyone for opinions on how I was as a kid. Since my diagnosis I have suffered from depression and anxiety disorder and am currently being assessed for ASD as well so I have gone from thinking I'm a perfectly mentally sound individual to having massive self doubts and a big loss of confidence. It seems my life has been a massive bullshit job (and I have been a successful salesman over the years so the bullshit has paid the bills!) but now the bullshit has been removed it is a bit like stepping out of the matrix in the movie of the same name and seeing the world for how it really is. I probably haven't helped much with the thread (sorry about that) but hopefully I'll have some decent input in weeks and months to come. Cheers
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Post by vagueandrandom on Jan 26, 2016 13:24:13 GMT
Welcome stainrod Friendships/relationships (or lack of) are the things that I'm most bothered by too. I've never got as far as a first marriage. . . Settle in, look around, and post if you feel like it.
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davem
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Post by davem on Jan 31, 2016 20:08:18 GMT
Hello everyone! I've been lurking and reading for a while, but joined recently and also posted! ( aadduk.proboards.com/post/95473/thread ) About me: - Currently living in the UK - Diagnosed summer 2015 with adult (35) ADHD inattentive type, two of my sisters have also been diagnosed in the last few years ( 1 in France, one in The Netherlands) all independent from each other and we didn't find out till later. - Started medications, first Methylphenidate now Elvanse, the optimal effect has been incredibly elusive so far (see link to my first post for details). - Working on my PhD, was very amused to hear the specialist mention academia / research as being a particularly tough environment for my form. Wish I had known this before I started. - New to living in the UK, so rather shell shocked at the state of mental health care & funding and how that reflects on waiting lists and available services. Not used to the idea that your postcode decides what level of treatment is available. - My main goal for joining the forum: I need better targeted information and insights, and especially if there is anything for relating to strategies for researchers / PhD students. Thats it for now. :-) My PhD was a hellish experience. I really, really struggled with it because of ADHD. It exhausted me so much that I became clinically depressed. It was the catalyst behind me seeking a diagnosis. Be as organised as you can and break things down into manageable chunks. Procrastination is your enemy. Remove as many distractions as you can. Find a quiet place to work alone if you are easily distracted. I am easily distracted and shared an office with two other people, so rarely got much done in there. I work better to deadlines so, in hindsight, I wish I had asked my supervisor to be more strict with me about demanding work by particular dates. In the end, I wrote my thesis in 4-5 months which meant I had to work every day for months on ed. In fact, I had only one day off from the first week in October 2014 to January 2015 and that was my Birthday. I was even writing on Christmas Day. You can imagine how difficult I found this with my inattention, restlessness/hyperactivity. The amount of basic errors, typos in my thesis was embarrassing. I eventually passed with minor corrections in June. However, I am currently working through my corrections as my completed thesis is due on February 18th. Such was the magnitude of my depression, I couldn't even bring myself to look at it until a couple of weeks ago. I wouldn't mind, but the corrections are minor. They will have taken me about 10 days in total. Good luck. Be kind to yourself.
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marylg
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Post by marylg on Feb 25, 2016 9:45:57 GMT
Hello, I'm Mary. Trying to get diagnosed with ADHD after many years. I'm now in my early 40s. My mum tried to get me diagnosed as a child and was laughed off by a doctor who "didn't believe in Hyperactivity". Still having problems as my GP just told me today that she had spoken to the CMHT about getting an ADHD diagnosis for me and they had told her they didn't provide that service. She's advised me to go private Time to speak to work. Luckily where I work provide some private health care so I might be able to get it through there. I've been living with it for years, just expecting that I wouldn't get taken seriously. Seems like I'm not
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Post by annie on Feb 25, 2016 10:31:19 GMT
Hi there
Welcome to the forum.
Well done to your Mum for trying to get you a proper assessment all these years ago and to yourself for not giving up the fight!!
Well, I'll give your Gp one point for actually talking to the CMHT. However, she's wrong to say going down the private route is the only option. It sounds as though the Clinical Commissioning Group in your area has not given your Mental Health Trust the funding to set up an Adult ADHD service. Equally your MHT may not have got their act together to put forward a Business Case to persuade the CCG to release some money.
Your Gp should write to the CCG asking for funding to send you to an already established specialist Adult ADHD Clinic; this is called an "out of area" referral. The more people who request this in your area, the quicker the CCG will commit to fund your local MHT.
Going down the private route is not all plain sailing. Not all Gp's are willing to give an NHS prescription for you to continue treatment, should you be dx privately. Your Gp should let you know where she stands on this.
Hope this is of some help.
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zahra
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Post by zahra on Feb 25, 2016 15:30:47 GMT
Hello everybody! This is the first message on this board ever. If we need more boards we can set them up but for now we'll just have the one. Please remember that this board can come up on search engines, so we strongly suggest you register with a nickname and keep your e-mail address private. There are very few rules, but please try to respect others and hold back the urge to go on the attack (perhaps leave it 24 hours before replying to something annoying?). Please feel free to start conversations...
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namchampa
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Post by namchampa on Mar 4, 2016 10:29:58 GMT
Hi All.
Im non-ADHD but my partner has ADHD.
We've been together for 3 years and although she has said she has ADHD, she's also very anxious about a lot of stuff, especial medical conditions and has neurotic, catastrophic fantasies about with her her, me or the cat dying.
For this reason I feel as though I 'took the information in' but it came with such a high volume of other information that it I think I both 'missed it' and, importantly, diminished it.
So, *deep breath*...I feel that after yet another argument, another blind alley , another conversation in which she cannot sit with herself but needs to have the focus of the conversation on me, society, her family, her work - all the 'problems' - my brain has finally twigged that googling Adult ADHD and relationships might be useful.
*light bulb moment*
A lot makes sense and I feel so heart broken for how much she has struggled and how much loneliness and alienation and shame and anxiety she has experienced. It makes so much sense of how terrified she feels of the thought of me leaving her (which, unfortunately she manages by turning on me and becoming pretty nasty).
So, here I am. Struggling. Wanting to help. Not knowing whether I'm the kind of person who can be in this type of relationship. Not knowing how to approach the idea of ADHD to my partner without hurting her or scaring her.
Wanting to help and needing help.
Thanks for reading.
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Post by vagueandrandom on Mar 4, 2016 13:34:46 GMT
Hi namchampa I've replied in the Spouses/Partners section where you copied this into London Couples Counselling:)
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Post by timewaster on May 9, 2016 16:19:29 GMT
Hello, hope everyone is well. I have recently been diagnosed with mild to moderate ADHD, predominantly inattentive type, at the age of 50. Although I have had a generally successful academic career, things have come to worsen over the last couple of years, with increasing responsibilities at work and private and work-related pressures. Luckily, we have an adult ADHD service here, and they finally saw me after about half a year's wait and diagnosed me in January. Since then I have started CBT with an occupational therapist who is really helpful. This is the good news. Bad news is that my problems caused a performance review process to be started at work, and thanks to support by the union, we managed to get this turned into a referral to occupational health to identify reasonable adjustments at work. So far so good, but this whole process is really scary, and I have quite a few questions where I could use some input from people who might have been in a similar situation. Where would be the best place on this forum to post these questions (e.g. about the appropriateness of Wellness-Action-Plans for ADHD at the workplace, experiences with job coaching and with Access to Work for inattentive ADHD, suggestions for reasonable adjustments or for good job coaches, experiences with Management referral to Occupational Health Service, etc.)? And many thanks for offering this forum.
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Post by easilydistracted on May 9, 2016 22:41:29 GMT
Hi Timewaster,
I'm very much in the same boat as you at the moment except that it's happening the other way round for me. My performance review process prompted me to look at why I was failing despite my efforts and I ended up here.
There's a wealth of information in the "College/Career/Work/Personal Relationship Issues" sections but also and possibly more scattered around the others.
Dig in and start reading, someone else is bound to have had an experience like yours and of course someone else will someday have one too so please, chime in with your thoughts/experiences.
Good luck, hope it works out for you
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benseals
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Post by benseals on Jul 6, 2016 0:24:55 GMT
Hello I am trying to get help with what I feel is adhd I have been to the doctors and they are just saying I suffer with anxiety but it is a whole lot more than that my parents were told when I was younger to get me tested for adhd but Mr father refused and now the last few years my head just seems to be getting worse and worse getting quite desperate even feel pretty suicidal I seem to have most of both UK and US symptoms basically wondering if anyone can suggest how to move forward in getting diagnosed I am trying all online techniques to control my symptoms but not really helping thanks in advance.
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Post by vagueandrandom on Jul 6, 2016 10:06:36 GMT
Hi benseals Welcome to the forum The first step is to ask your GP to be referred for assessment by an ADHD specialist. . . which you've already done. . .is there a different GP at the practice that you can see? If not, go back armed with information and copies of online tests that you've done. It's not uncommon for GPs and mental health professionals to only see the anxiety and depression. . because that's what they know. There's still a surprising lack of awareness that adults can have ADHD when it wasn't picked up in childhood and that there is treatment available. Have a read around the forum, there are plenty of stories like yours. .and advice. . Maybe start your own thread asking for specific advice. . we're a friendly bunch!
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Post by marionk on Jul 7, 2016 8:23:29 GMT
Hello I am trying to get help with what I feel is adhd I have been to the doctors and they are just saying I suffer with anxiety but it is a whole lot more than that my parents were told when I was younger to get me tested for adhd but Mr father refused and now the last few years my head just seems to be getting worse and worse getting quite desperate even feel pretty suicidal I seem to have most of both UK and US symptoms basically wondering if anyone can suggest how to move forward in getting diagnosed I am trying all online techniques to control my symptoms but not really helping thanks in advance. Hi benseals, welcome to the forums. Have you actually told the doctor that you suspect you have ADHD and that you were suspected of having it when you were a child? If you have and he did not suggest a referral, then you need to (find a better informed GP and) specifically ask for a referral to an ADHD specialist, as vagueandrandom says. If they won't give you a referral, or there is no ADHD service in your area, post on here again, and ask what you do next. Sadly you won't be the first, nor the last. There are other nhs options as well as going private. I liken the ADHD brain to a small bowl with marbles in it. The marbles being important things that you need to remember to do. So while there are only a very few marbles, everything is fine, but as life gets more complicated the bowl gets filled and soon there are too many marbles for the bowl to hold. For a while you manage by carefully arranging them in a heap, but then along comes another marble, and as you try and get it into the bowl, it sends all the other marbles flying. It's not that the ADHD is worse, just that life has got more complicated. Do please share any techniques you find that work for you. Also let us know what you've tried that hasn't worked, and why, and we can possibly suggest something better. We all know 'Write a list' doesn't really help, especially when your problem is losing things, or you can't remember what you thought of long enough to find something to write with!
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biddy
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Post by biddy on Nov 23, 2016 20:25:09 GMT
Hi everyone. I found this forum as my son is currently trying to get a diagnosis for adult adhd. I found the list of symptoms and although I'm not a professional I think my son will be diagnosed. The scary part of all of this is I think I may be the person he inherited it from. Although my symptoms are nowhere near as severe as his, I seem to have all the indicators. The main two things which bring me to this conclusion are, 1, my parents always told me they suspected I was autistic as a baby and 2, I gave always had a feeling that I am an observer on this planet, that I was sent here to study and experience things. I've never actually voiced that recurring thought to anyone before. I've always felt I don't belong in my family and in the world in general.
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Post by vagueandrandom on Nov 29, 2016 7:46:47 GMT
Greetings, my name is George and have just been diagnosed with ADHD/ADD at the tender age of 48. Currently trialling new meds and hopefully various coping techniques to improve my life. My life has been a roller coaster indeed. I'm hoping the latter part will be with less incidents. Welcome bobstate 🙂
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