Deleted
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Jokes
Dec 29, 2010 10:48:29 GMT
Post by Deleted on Dec 29, 2010 10:48:29 GMT
pmsl lol xx
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Post by Deleted on Dec 30, 2010 17:18:02 GMT
Two ADDers were sitting at the table of the local diner. . .
their conversation drifted from politics to cooking.
"I got a cookbook once," said one, "but I could never do anything with it."
"Too much fancy work in it, eh?" asked the other.
"You said it. Every one of the recipes began the same way: 'Take a clean dish..
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Jokes
Dec 30, 2010 18:27:36 GMT
Post by rachel2050 on Dec 30, 2010 18:27:36 GMT
LOL!! - I cant tell you how many times ive eaten dinner out of a measuring jug or saucepan....been meaning to buy a dishwasher for....oh look its raining.....
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Jokes
Dec 31, 2010 1:11:10 GMT
Post by ChaosLily on Dec 31, 2010 1:11:10 GMT
I HAVE a dishwasher and still do that
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Dec 31, 2010 18:20:24 GMT
Post by Deleted on Dec 31, 2010 18:20:24 GMT
I'm Joseph Frizl And no windows was my idea. I'll get my coat
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Dec 31, 2010 20:18:14 GMT
Post by mavster on Dec 31, 2010 20:18:14 GMT
I'm Joseph Frizl And no windows was my idea. I'll get my coat dark but right up my street ;D
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Jokes
Dec 31, 2010 20:20:26 GMT
Post by mavster on Dec 31, 2010 20:20:26 GMT
Renault have announced that they are launching a new car in Portugal.
5 Normal seats, plus room for a child in the boot.
Called the Renault McCann. Positive Rating!
Doesn't get much darker than that . That will get the hate deflected from you
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Jokes
Jan 2, 2011 13:17:04 GMT
Post by rachel2050 on Jan 2, 2011 13:17:04 GMT
Funny t-shirts...
"dyslexics are teople poo"
"i don't have adhd - im just ignoring you"
and - my favourite.............
"i don't have tourettes.....your just a c**t"
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Jokes
Jan 2, 2011 13:18:39 GMT
Post by rachel2050 on Jan 2, 2011 13:18:39 GMT
...and the real reason so many of us live in semi darkness -
....Bought the wrong sort of lightbulb because s/he couldn't be bothered checking which sort of light bulb was needed cause that's boring...
lol ;D
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 4, 2011 19:09:09 GMT
My favourite is still: I don't have ADHD, I have ADOS, which stands for attention deficit... ooh, shiny!
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Jokes
Jan 5, 2011 0:55:29 GMT
Post by rachel2050 on Jan 5, 2011 0:55:29 GMT
lol - aw - one for ooohshiny there- if you haven't spoken to her before, she's the one with the big....errr....shiny ball..... say no more
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Jokes
Mar 17, 2011 5:45:31 GMT
Post by phil on Mar 17, 2011 5:45:31 GMT
Chinese, japanese, borrow these, water ski's!
Why do japanese folks bow? because they don't like waves!
How do you spot a japanese prostitute? She's the one in the fish nets!
I phoned my mate in japan after hearing about the earthquake but he did'nt give a fuck he just babbled on about some big rave!
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Deleted
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Mar 17, 2011 8:30:17 GMT
Post by Deleted on Mar 17, 2011 8:30:17 GMT
Q: How many people with ADHD does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A1: 5 minutes silence. Er, what was the question?
A2: I dunno but I wish the bastard(s) would sort it out.
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Jokes
Mar 17, 2011 9:21:43 GMT
Post by Ravendarque on Mar 17, 2011 9:21:43 GMT
Did you hear about the dyslexic pimp? He bought a warehouse.
Why are women like parking spaces? Because all the good ones are gone and the only ones left are disabled.
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Jokes
Mar 17, 2011 9:23:39 GMT
Post by Ravendarque on Mar 17, 2011 9:23:39 GMT
This is an old one, but always cracks me up:
Hello, welcome to the Mental Health Hotline.
If you are:
Obsessive-Compulsive, press 1, repeatedly.
Co-Dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
Multiple Personalities, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
Paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.
Delusional, press 7, and your call will be transferred to the Mother Ship.
Schizophrenic, listen carefully, and a small voice will tell you which number to press.
Manic-Depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer.
Dyslexic, press 96969696969696.
Nervous Disorder, please fidget with the Pound Button until a representative comes on the line.
Amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's and grandmothers' maiden names.
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, slowly and carefully press 911.
Bi-Polar Disorder, please leave a message after the beep. Or before the beep. Or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
Short-Term Memory Loss, please try your call again later.
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Deleted
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Jokes
Mar 17, 2011 10:14:17 GMT
Post by Deleted on Mar 17, 2011 10:14:17 GMT
I've posted it elsewhere but I love it Where do you send a child with ADHD? Concentration camp. What's the least popular washing power in Japan? Tide. Oof! I'll get me coat.
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Deleted
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Mar 17, 2011 10:29:58 GMT
Post by Deleted on Mar 17, 2011 10:29:58 GMT
eek, jap ones are a bit harsh even for me.
what do you call a girl with two c**ts?
N-Dubz
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Deleted
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Mar 17, 2011 10:33:26 GMT
Post by Deleted on Mar 17, 2011 10:33:26 GMT
I do like inappropriate jokes. I know not everyone does but that's tough;). The best Japan joke I've heard is: "I know how they feel. After 40 Aftershocks, I can't find my house either;)."
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azz
Member posts quite a bit
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Jokes
Mar 17, 2011 10:36:04 GMT
Post by azz on Mar 17, 2011 10:36:04 GMT
I'm Joseph Frizl And no windows was my idea. I'm Kate McCann And opening the window was my idea.
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Deleted
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Jokes
Mar 17, 2011 10:38:57 GMT
Post by Deleted on Mar 17, 2011 10:38:57 GMT
I will joke about 99% stuff but not that. Not about to get on a high horse though so dont worry
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Mar 17, 2011 10:48:20 GMT
Post by Deleted on Mar 17, 2011 10:48:20 GMT
What do you work in, Badwool? You can see on the forum that those with 'difficult' jobs (emotionally - eg armed forces/law enforcement/medical who see death /destruction and relentless misery) are the ones with 'robust' and dark senses of humour as a coping mechanism. Anyone else - shame on you!
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Deleted
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Mar 17, 2011 10:55:03 GMT
Post by Deleted on Mar 17, 2011 10:55:03 GMT
haha i work in insurance Ask my mrs, i am an emotional slug, i really DONT do empathy/sympathy, but i have a particularly large soft spot for Japan, dont know why. I wasnt offended by the jokes, i just wouldnt crack them thats all.
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Deleted
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Jokes
Mar 17, 2011 11:03:06 GMT
Post by Deleted on Mar 17, 2011 11:03:06 GMT
I did ask her last night in bed but all she said was
oom oom slurp oof mmmmmm
Coat on, taxi at the door - gone!
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Deleted
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Mar 17, 2011 13:25:21 GMT
Post by Deleted on Mar 17, 2011 13:25:21 GMT
I did ask her last night in bed but all she said was oom oom slurp oof mmmmmm Coat on, taxi at the door - gone! sounds about right, she's terrible getting her false teeth out.
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Deleted
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Jokes
Mar 17, 2011 13:35:47 GMT
Post by Deleted on Mar 17, 2011 13:35:47 GMT
And it's rude to talk with your mouth full! No manners, some people!
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Post by kakema on Mar 17, 2011 13:49:38 GMT
I hope pd ate first - manners, an' all that!
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Jokes
Mar 17, 2011 14:27:07 GMT
Post by phil on Mar 17, 2011 14:27:07 GMT
Yeah japanese jokes are a bit sick there's loads of jobs there I heard on the news some japanese guy said there was a new career explosion!
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Jokes
Mar 17, 2011 14:35:52 GMT
Post by phil on Mar 17, 2011 14:35:52 GMT
George michael is off to japan to help with the search and rescue mission! Well he has seen a few jap eyes covered in shit so that makes him an expert!
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Deleted
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Jokes
Mar 17, 2011 14:42:32 GMT
Post by Deleted on Mar 17, 2011 14:42:32 GMT
Phil - the jokes still need to be actually funny! :-)
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Deleted
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Mar 17, 2011 17:34:51 GMT
Post by Deleted on Mar 17, 2011 17:34:51 GMT
This is my favourite joke, think it's more the image I got in my head because of it. lol My friend is in a wheelchair, so I gave him a chainsaw, wrapped him in tinfoil and sent him on Robot Wars. But seriously - he's dead now. Got a few ADD/ADHD and dyslexic ones for you... I don't understand what demographic these Lynx Rise shower gel ads are aiming at. People who are having trouble pulling birds or those suffering from attention deficit disorder? BBC News: "The first direct evidence of a genetic link to attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder has been found. Scientists from Cardiff University said the disorder was a brain problem like autism - not due to bad parenting." A spokesman for an ADHD charity said "Look at me! Hey! Look at me!" My Doctor has just told me that I have an attention deficit disorder. He mentioned something else about an over stimulated imagination too but I was too busy watching this fly break dancing on the windowsill. New website for people with dyslexia. www.dailysex.com
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