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Post by Kathymel on Jun 20, 2013 7:29:48 GMT
What's it like inside your head?
The most common metaphor I'd seen before I joined here described it as like having all the channels of a TV on at once, but that never seemed to fit right for me because it sounded deafening.
DKL's involves ping-pong balls and faulty search lights (I'll leave her to enlarge on that if she wants to) which fits a lot better.
My own, slowly evolving, metaphor involves a bath full of super-slippery soaps. I manage to catch hold of one now and then, but it will slip out of my grasp and disappear. Once it's gone I may catch sight of it again, but when I reach for it, I can't always catch it and often I can't remember what it looked like.
(Edited to put the correct person by their metaphor!)
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Post by simonwgill on Jun 20, 2013 8:04:04 GMT
To me, I feel like I have a brain full of cotton wool. It's more noticeable this week because I've been on MPH tabs in the morning.
Some things cut through the cloud. Those are the usual suspects - caffeine, sugar, fun and new experiences and problems. Otherwise, getting things into and out of my head is almost impossible.
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Post by JJ on Jun 20, 2013 8:09:21 GMT
Pin-ball machine with tons of balls in it. The tons of balls banging around are the the thoughts and the flashing lights / music of the arcade just serve to distract more so you can't even keep your eye on where the balls are.
When I want a thought to focus on, I have to use a power magnet to attract the thought and it wants to pull away from me. So I have to turn it up and up to full strength (like in a cartoon) and it''s straining against it, til it finally bangs into the magnet. But the second I get distracted, it zips away and I have to go through the whole process again....
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Post by JJ on Jun 20, 2013 8:14:42 GMT
Though the tv channels, ping pong balls and slippery soap all completely make sense. Only sometimes the cotton wool. Another way it feels is like if you've had far too much to drink then someone tells you you have to read and understand a Shakespeare play - impossible and way too much effort needed
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Post by jan on Jun 20, 2013 8:18:45 GMT
depends what mood i'm in
varies from hour to hour sometimes
today it is very dark and i can't find the door!!!!!
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Post by Kathymel on Jun 20, 2013 8:21:27 GMT
That's really interesting, already.
One of you experiences everything being muffled and completely obliterated by cloud, the other's experience is all movement and noise. I'm somewhere in the middle - not cloudy, not noisy, just indistinct and hard to grasp.
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Post by Kathymel on Jun 20, 2013 8:23:50 GMT
depends what mood i'm in varies from hour to hour sometimes today it is very dark and i can't find the door!!!!! I guess the BP on top might make your experience different, Jan.
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Post by JJ on Jun 20, 2013 8:35:09 GMT
Mine can change - depending on how stressed I am I think - pin ball machine slows down - magnet still needs full power though...
This is a really interesting thread kathymel, I hope lots of people chip in xx
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Post by jan on Jun 20, 2013 10:07:39 GMT
depends what mood i'm in varies from hour to hour sometimes today it is very dark and i can't find the door!!!!! I guess the BP on top might make your experience different, Jan. I dont think im different Adhders get depressed Ive read adhders moods change about 7 times a day I maybe am just more intense
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insiderob
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Post by insiderob on Jun 20, 2013 10:31:56 GMT
For me, all of the above rings true. I’ve also been thinking of it a lot like clockwork, or a gearbox, where the gears aren’t aligned properly. It feels like in my head, a lot of the time, some of the gears are spinning loose – fast and out of control – where some of the gears they are supposed be turning are just hanging not turning at all.
The faulty gearbox metaphor also carries through to: sometimes finding it difficult to get in gear, sometimes finding it hard to change gears, and sometimes finding it waay to easy to slip out of gear.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 20, 2013 13:19:41 GMT
It depends on stress for me. I can relate to the cotton wool thing too. I've my concentration as a pool of resource which gets eaten up far too quickly by shit stuff. Clutter afects me really badly because I start planning the cleanup operation in my mind which then goes off on several tangents and this takes up the majority of the 'pool'. I end up not doing anything as I bounce from one plan to the next until I give up and sit in the mire of shit watching a show or playing a game. For the technically minded, it's like my CPU utilisation hits 99% with just basic menial shit whilst I feel it's more like 10% when I'm decluttered and working on something I truly *want* to work on.
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Post by Kathymel on Jun 20, 2013 16:14:10 GMT
Clutter afects me really badly because I start planning the cleanup operation in my mind which then goes off on several tangents and this takes up the majority of the 'pool'. I end up not doing anything as I bounce from one plan to the next until I give up and sit in the mire of shit watching a show or playing a game. For the technically minded, it's like my CPU utilisation hits 99% with just basic menial shit whilst I feel it's more like 10% when I'm decluttered and working on something I truly *want* to work on. I spend a lot of time hiding from my clutter so I don't have to think about it. I'm sure that if I could get it cleared, I might be able to think better and life would seem a lot simpler. At the moment, there is enough room on the sofa, between piles of stuff, for Genghis and I to sit down, but every other chair and surface is piled high. I think I need another challenge to get me motivated. Jan? LB?
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Post by Deleted on Jun 20, 2013 17:12:48 GMT
Get someone to sort your clutter. It makes a huge difference.
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Post by grim on Jun 20, 2013 18:53:12 GMT
My head's like a tumble dryer mostly.Everything tumbling around and things pop into focus for a moment and then are smothered by the next notion/idea/thought that surfaces...and so on...and so on.
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Post by Kathymel on Jun 20, 2013 21:26:23 GMT
My head's like a tumble dryer mostly.Everything tumbling around and things pop into focus for a moment and then are smothered by the next notion/idea/thought that surfaces...and so on...and so on. I can relate to that, too.
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Post by Kathymel on Jun 20, 2013 21:28:04 GMT
Get someone to sort your clutter. It makes a huge difference. I used to have a friend who would come round and direct decluttering operations a couple of times a year. Unfortunately, we fell out. I need some external motivation.
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Post by manson88 on Jun 21, 2013 5:54:47 GMT
Monkey brain jumps from one thing to the next in an instant, hate It interferes with every thing Sent from my GT-I9300 using proboards
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Post by Notlonelyinacrowdnow on Jun 21, 2013 8:24:59 GMT
My brain clutter just spills out my Mouth most of the time I don't notice but of late I could be talking to a neighbour for instance and it just keeps going from one random comment to another and I have to catch myself or I'd go on for hours ( poor neighbour looks dizzy) lol
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Post by Deleted on Jun 21, 2013 10:35:36 GMT
I am a lump (given up smoking lol)… of innatentive iron. Anything that I shouldn’t be looking at, listening to, thinking about, eating, drinking, talking at(!), being annoyed by or fiddling with seems to develop extreme magnetic qualities pulling me away from the really bloody important thing Im supposed to be doing which has the ADDnetic pull of a herbal teabag. Only being able to access nicotine outside used to help drag me away to refocus. Needto find alternative ADDnetic weapon for mass distraction.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 21, 2013 10:56:16 GMT
Pin-ball machine with tons of balls in it. The tons of balls banging around are the the thoughts and the flashing lights / music of the arcade just serve to distract more so you can't even keep your eye on where the balls are. When I want a thought to focus on, I have to use a power magnet to attract the thought and it wants to pull away from me. So I have to turn it up and up to full strength (like in a cartoon) and it''s straining against it, til it finally bangs into the magnet. But the second I get distracted, it zips away and I have to go through the whole process again.... OMG JJ!! Wow!!!! How do you power up your Iron to become a powerful magnet?!! (I cant believe I've just had to ask that question!!)
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Post by jan on Jun 21, 2013 11:08:39 GMT
I find this question hard when i'm trying to talk to nt's (is that what you call them?) I sometimes explain it as like having a circular conveyor belt going around full speed in my head but I just can't stop it for long enough to grab hold of something long enough to start thinking about it or addressing it!!!! sometimes its in middle of my head sometimes its kinda up high like one of them swing things at fair I relate to all above as well and mikes right about the clutter - sometimes I can just wade through all the physical mess around me to do what I need to do but sometimes - especially if its something really important that I have to get done I just can't even attempt it until I have finished sorting out all the clutter around me !!!!!!d if someone else comes into my space I feel really stressed and can't handle the clutter because they are there and it makes me feel really fearful and agitated!!! and think (though not sure) - that's the only time I hyper focus when i'm trying to sort everything around me but then things catch my attention within the clutter - especially paper work that I havn't addressed and I just end up focusing on that only at hundred miles an hour in my head as I know in back of my head I should be doing something else which is usually really important and therefore I have strong feeling of impending doom which really affects me and then often I just can't carry on and do ANYTHING at all and everything just moulds into one lump of grey matter in my head - there's not even thoughts and I feel physically drained to the bone and just have to sleep!!!!! - but there again - when i'm depressed then everything in my head is just grey and thoughts kind of drift around in the greyness - like a foggy mist - and they are still like going hundred miles an hour sometimes even faster than normal even though physically feels like havn't even got energy to avert my gaze from straight ahead at what i'm looking at just sit and stare and feel so drained but its like the thoughts are now just words floating around and their not even written properly just like random letters popping through the grey and I have to try and connect them up into words so I can try work out what i'm thinking and what am I supposed to be doing but its just so draining!!!! and sometimes its just black - just feeling of heavyiness and being locked away and not able to get out and all can hear is my voice over and over telling myself how useless I am and how ive fucked this up or that up just on and on !!!!!! god no wonder I never get anything done
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Post by furiousfrog on Jun 21, 2013 11:38:05 GMT
Dunno if this helps, but my daughter came up with a good one when talking to the school senco. She said her thoughts were like someone slowly shuffling a pack of cards. She might get a thought she really needed to concentrate on, but it'd just go and get lost in the middle of the pack with the shuffling and she'd have to wait for it to come back round again because all the others were in the front of her head needing to be thought about.
...Or maybe I just played too much crib with her as a child?
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Post by Deleted on Jun 21, 2013 11:40:36 GMT
Janev, sooooooooo eloquently described. You have made me think (thank you!)and I recognize lots in para 2, but not the sleep bit, I tend to just lose hours prating about trying to find ways to achieve my tasks (usually means googling etc and not finding any answers). Para 3 and 4 are What happens to me on a bad day or when I run out of paroxitine or Ive realized that Im really in the shite for not attending to something.
We should devise a system which helps us prioritize tasks for the week and pin point time to do them. Could also have one of those year calender things on wall with everything from tax return to service due etc, you could then have your template priority sheet and weekly task sheet to fill in from there. Then create a buddy system on this site so that buddies call up and go through the prioritized tasks with each other fortnightly(1 a week). This could be also great practice for budding coaches!! Just need somebody who is having a good day to design these templates and a buddy up thread(god need to find alternative to buddy, thats annoying me already!!)
Oh crap, I hope that hasn't pissed you off more, seems like a good idea to me, but might look really naive if Im having an inappropriately optimistic moment x
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Post by simonwgill on Jun 21, 2013 12:02:29 GMT
gremico, I suggest you pick up a copy of FAST MINDS. That's got a lot of ideas in it for systems that help ADHDers do things. They talk about peripheral brains which are pretty much the buddy system idea. Is that a better name too? I find that a modified version of the Getting Things Done system (from the book by David Allen) works reasonably well for me. The big idea is capturing those thoughts and writing them down somewhere so that your brain knows they are being handled. The problem I've always suffered is actually staying on task long enough to do the things I've said I want to do. But I think productivity systems is slightly off-topic for metaphors. New thread time
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Post by Kaleidoscope on Jun 22, 2013 21:55:54 GMT
Immense tedium and antecipated boredom of any activity that I don't like a 100% and the head like a blocked nose. Remembering stuff from years ago but not being able to remember the name of the person I just spoke to...
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Post by JJ on Jun 22, 2013 22:16:57 GMT
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets - in the classroom when Professor Lockhart opens the cage of blue Cornish pixies. Loads of them flying quickly, everywhere, randomly, - complete chaos. Then when Hermione stuns them that's what it's like on mph. For me it's a fantastic representation of my brain before/after meds.
When I get to my computer I'll post a You Tube link
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Post by Deleted on Jun 22, 2013 22:28:54 GMT
gremico, I suggest you pick up a copy of FAST MINDS. That's got a lot of ideas in it for systems that help ADHDers do things. They talk about peripheral brains which are pretty much the buddy system idea. Is that a better name too? I find that a modified version of the Getting Things Done system (from the book by David Allen) works reasonably well for me. The big idea is capturing those thoughts and writing them down somewhere so that your brain knows they are being handled. The problem I've always suffered is actually staying on task long enough to do the things I've said I want to do. But I think productivity systems is slightly off-topic for metaphors. New thread time Thought id posted reply last night but not showing now, many thanks and will follow up.Re tasks me too, hence post in ideas etc!!!
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Post by dizzydee on Jun 23, 2013 16:15:38 GMT
I cannot deal with clutter either and yet I seem to leave a tremendous amount of it every where I go... I hide every thing I can't be bothered to file in draws and throw stuff away so I don't have to find it a home all the time!!
I don't know how to describe my emotions/thoughts once they have passed. Its almost like I can't remember how it felt so I sometimes write stuff down when I am in the moment bit when I read it back later its like, no, it wasn't that bad.
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brainfog
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Post by brainfog on Jun 23, 2013 16:18:55 GMT
I can relate to all and so interesting here what life is really like inside the mind of adhders x
mine at the moment is like a big box of cereals and somewhere inside it, I know there is a prize (something I need), but inside the box is dark and there is a lot of movement going on and shuffling around trying to find what it is I need, I feel im close but I just cant get to it.
Clutter is a big thing for me, my house should be in Egypt because there are pyramids of stuff everywhere, I am excellent at moving them from one place to the next but the never disappear x
I think in feng shui terms our clutter is and outer expression of our inner mind. that makes sense to me. I no if I have a good spell where ive been able to focus long enough to give a home to a few pyramids, I feel so much better.
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Post by jan on Jun 23, 2013 16:27:09 GMT
thumbs up thing should have different options - as in 'i love this' as opposed to i like this so get what your saying and strangely enough since your journey through your diagnosis have noticed your posts seem to display that you have a much better understanding of yourself really pleased that things getting better for you may feel like youve found your prize when you get your meds eh
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