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Post by easilydistracted on Feb 7, 2016 22:05:19 GMT
Hi, Things at work came to a head recently at work and I've been put on performance improvement plan at work, currently at stage 1 with stage 3 being dismissal. Failure to complete jobs, failure to meet deadlines and poor communication with collegues were put down as the initial reasons, all things I am chronically bad at. I've never shirked a challenge and I need my job so headlong off I went looking for how to fix these. Looking round the web amongst the various sites that would tell me to make lists and prioritise, I can't - plain and simple can't, were mentions of ADHD, lots of them. Yeah, but that's what kids have, right? Somehow I ended up with this www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Attention-deficit-hyperactivity-disorder/Pages/Symptoms.aspx I read the bit on adults and can only describe my reaction as "WOW!" then "OH SHIT!", talk about hitting the head on the nail? A couple a bit hand wavey but the rest bang on. OK, might be something in this, do a bit more reading... Letter pops through the door, it's the latest thing from work re my performance - he's trying hard but stiil failing on completing jobs in a timely manner, failing to prioritise and meet deadlines, lack of focus, too easily distracted and poor communication with collegues. Same issues again I have an appointment with the GP for something else, being serious about fixing me I take along this latest letter, could it really be this? I'm reluctant to self diagnose as I might just be seeing the things that match but not sensing the degree. It didn't go well. Well, I don't know what I was expecting. Either way the outcome was this - Tell the work you have real difficulties with what they are asking you to do and start writing your CV. Looking at the letter from your work it does look like you have ADHD but as it wasn't recognised when you were a child ( I'm 46 ) you are out of luck, no help is available. Please close the door on your way out. From being on a high, thinking I may be able to target the reason I'm a serial eff-up and live the same sort of life as other people do, crash the door was slammed in my face and bolted shut, damning me forever. Last night wasn't a good night. Today was a little better, I came out fighting. I'm looking for ways to fix this without their help if need be. I've found my school reports from ages 4-11 (*) all with the same comment "easily distracted" and various comments along the lines of "lacks the ability to concentrate and still seems incapable of finishing a days work", "behaviour still tends to be immature". This is not a new problem. Self medication is not an option, let's just say, been there, tried that and still trying to rebuild my life... I need to re-learn how to think, I have an uphill struggle, no, an upcliff struggle and I don't have the equipment, yet, to do it, but I finally recognise I have something that a) needs fixing and b) I can't do alone. So, I'm here Hi * I've been told I have a serious hoarding problem!!!
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Post by vagueandrandom on Feb 7, 2016 22:22:02 GMT
Hi easilydistracted and welcome to the forum I was 48 when I was diagnosed last year and there's plenty here our age and older. Sometimes the biggest struggle is getting your GP to take you seriously and refer you - yes, there are services to assess and treat ADHD in adults in the UK! Then once you get that the waiting lists can be very long. . .and we *hate* waiting. . . and while you wait, you'll probably start to doubt yourself and feel a fraud. . .. it's the same stories time after time. . . So get yourself comfy and have a good read around and ask questions, there's usually someone who's been through the same thing, or has some advice
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Post by roland on Feb 7, 2016 22:30:29 GMT
Hi easilydistracted,
welcome to the forum and I'm really sorry to hear about your work problems. BTW your GP is wrong because ADHD is a disability under the Equalities Act so if your GP thinks it is probable you have ADHD, then the GP must help you to access an assessment. You could try going back to the same GP and ask for an assessment with an ADHD specialist or try another more helpful GP. There are other things you can try including getting your MP's help but in the meantime welcome to the forum and feel free to ask questions.
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Post by Kathymel on Feb 7, 2016 22:38:44 GMT
Hi there.
Your GP is wrong, plain and simple. There is help for adults and s/he is not in a position to deny it to you. Gather as much evidence together as you can and go back and insist on a referral. If s/he says no, complain.
In addition to this, if you are worried about losing your job, I would strongly recommend telling your work that you are seeking a diagnosis. Tell them in writing. It may be (and I hope someone will correct me if I'm wrong) that, even without a diagnosis, they have to make reasonable adjustments for you if a disability is suspected. (That's how it works in schools, so I could be talking out of my arse, tbh.)
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Post by vagueandrandom on Feb 7, 2016 22:50:19 GMT
There's very similar employment advice on 'what the F***k is wrong with me?' thread on the general board to bonji from earlier today.
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Post by contrarymary on Feb 7, 2016 22:52:00 GMT
hi easilydistracted and welcome to the forum sorry you're having such a difficult time both with the GP and at work there is quite a lot of information abou this scattered around the forum; a good place to start may be the FAQs on the main forum. the GP is clearly mistaken, and may be unaware of NICE guidelines for assessing ADHD in adults. you could go back to the same GP, or another GP at the practice, and ask to be referred to a specialist. depending on the services in your local area you may then be referred to the local Community Mental Health Team (CMHT) for initial screening. NB many people with ADHD have co-existing anxiety and/or depression, and indeed ADHD alone can give false positives for other conditions to the untrained eye. each area should have an arrangement in place to assess adults with ADHD, even if they send you to an out-of-area specialist. specialist funding may have to be agreed for this, this can sometimes take a while. waiting lists for ADHD services vary enormously. some people have been seen within 3 months, others wait 2 years. again, it depends on your local area. some seek private assessment and/or treatment, either because we can't bear to wait or because we can't afford not to. it's certainly quicker, tho expensive, and ongoing treatment is pretty expensive too. transferring back to NHS services often means waiting to be reassessed before NHS treatment is arranged. a good GP is helpful at pretty much all stages, especially if you would like the GP to prescribe once you have been diagnosed and medication stabilised (known as "shared care"). so now might be the time to find one, or to educate the one you have? coincidentally, another recently-joined member posted earlier today about issues with work disciplinary proceedings; there may be something useful in that threadgood luck
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Post by adhdude on Feb 7, 2016 23:23:18 GMT
I was diagnosed last year at 20. My GP was actually the one who insisted I get an assessment done - I hadn't known about ADHD and was reluctant. Really sorry to hear your GP did what he did - evidently, though, not all GPs are like that. I think you should just see another GP and ask for a second opinion. It's good you kept all your school reports - you may need them for your actual diagnosis after a proper GP sees and refers you. I showed the psychiatrist my school reports although they never actually mentioned distractibility or hyperactivity, etc. - one of them even said I was really attentive. The teachers just might not have known me well enough; I have inattentive type, so I've generally always been really quiet and unnoticeable. Dang it, going off-topic here... I guess what I was trying to say is that you definitely sound like you're in a good position to have a diagnosis done, regardless of your age. I hope you can get all the support you need and wish you the best of luck. In the meantime, don't hesitate to stick around on these forums. Everone's really helpful & supportive and you won't need to get a diagnosis first .
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Post by easilydistracted on Feb 7, 2016 23:37:27 GMT
Thanks all for the kind words.
I'll make a fresh appointment tomorrow, this time for a working hours appointment and hope to see a resident doctor rather than a locum.
With the letters from work and the school reports I can demonstrate the continuing negative impact and ask for a referall. If I get the referall I'll be able to tell the work and it won't feel like I'm handing them a loaded gun. I can't tell if they are honestly trying to get me up to speed with the workload or trying to fasttrack me out the door on the cheap, I can't read people either.
I'll head off to that other thread now
Ta!
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Post by easilydistracted on Feb 8, 2016 21:18:21 GMT
Update,
Booked another appointment at GP, was told 1 week, asked if that would be a locum again, yep. OK how long to see a resident GP, 2 weeks.
Being aware that I have limited time on the is before the next performance review and a tad impatient I said 1 week, hope I don't get the same locum again. Have now got the NICE guidlines and am going through that marking up the relevant parts and making notes to go with it to explain how they apply to me along with anything I can use as documentary evidence.
I really have got the bit between my teeth on this!
Now, what I really should be doing at this very moment is studying for my nightschool exam in two nights time or preparing my CV which still remains a blank piece of paper.
If only I could bend my head to my will instead of it leading me.
Hmmms, that makes no sense at all but I can't think of any other way to put it!
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Post by annie on Feb 8, 2016 21:42:19 GMT
Glad you've got the bit between your teeth!!
It shouldn't be this way but you really do need to be tenacious if you're going to break through this treacle of an NHS. The more you become informed about what you're entitled to expect from the NHS, the more you're able to breakdown these unnecessary barriers.
Keep at it and come back if you need some moral support.
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Post by vagueandrandom on Feb 8, 2016 21:59:44 GMT
Fab! easilydistracted you're being positive and getting on with things, I'm so glad, these things can really get you down if you let them Stick with it and let us know how it goes
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Post by Deleted on Feb 8, 2016 22:09:15 GMT
I've successfully made two wrongful dismissal claims on grounds of disability discrimination, both times when I'd been accused of the same issues you cited in your first post. It's painful, but be strong. It can be done.
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Post by Kathymel on Feb 8, 2016 22:47:20 GMT
That's great, Easily D. (if I might take the liberty of calling you that).
One of the bonuses (and challenges) of ADHD is that once you get that bit between the teeth, NOTHING can distract you. Good luck. Let us know how you get on, won't you?
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Post by adhdude on Feb 8, 2016 23:12:02 GMT
Update, Booked another appointment at GP, was told 1 week, asked if that would be a locum again, yep. OK how long to see a resident GP, 2 weeks. Being aware that I have limited time on the is before the next performance review and a tad impatient I said 1 week, hope I don't get the same locum again. Have now got the NICE guidlines and am going through that marking up the relevant parts and making notes to go with it to explain how they apply to me along with anything I can use as documentary evidence. I really have got the bit between my teeth on this! Now, what I really should be doing at this very moment is studying for my nightschool exam in two nights time or preparing my CV which still remains a blank piece of paper. If only I could bend my head to my will instead of it leading me. Hmmms, that makes no sense at all but I can't think of any other way to put it! Call back in the morning and request an emergency appointment - if asked for a reason, say it's too personal to disclose Might sound evil, but can you really survive the week's wait lol? I'd class it as an emergency
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Rebel
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Post by Rebel on Feb 8, 2016 23:18:24 GMT
Good luck with your next GP appointment easilydistractedHopefully they'll see sense this time.
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Post by easilydistracted on Feb 8, 2016 23:26:31 GMT
vagueandrandom I will. This is, I think, just the start of a new stage in life. Honestly feeling an optimism I've not felt in years Kathymel Of course you may It is a bit long! That unstoppable drive is very curious, it's so at odds with everything else! Oh, I got no studying done... despite going to MacDonalds and sitting in a corner facing the wall, head just wasn't there and the CV is still blank....
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Post by adhdude on Feb 9, 2016 0:05:35 GMT
vagueandrandom I will. This is, I think, just the start of a new stage in life. Honestly feeling an optimism I've not felt in years Kathymel Of course you may It is a bit long! That unstoppable drive is very curious, it's so at odds with everything else! Oh, I got no studying done... despite going to MacDonalds and sitting in a corner facing the wall, head just wasn't there and the CV is still blank.... Took me over two years to write my first CV
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Post by easilydistracted on Feb 10, 2016 19:56:57 GMT
Minor and possibly o/t update.
Mentally exhausted from trying to fix my performance at work and feeling like I'm slipping further behind, painfully aware of every error I make and wondering when the bosses will decide enough is enough and that I'm a liability best got rid of, today was a far cry from the positivity of the last few days.
From being a high yesterday, thinking for the first time in my life, I can look critically at myself but without critisism, an honest chance to fix something that's been holding me back I'm now downright confused and dejected.
Today was also my nightschool exam, with no studying done - my head's just not there at the moment, and drained from the effort at work I arrived late at the exam, necking a can of redbull on my way in the door. I'm one of the minority that passed.
How in hecks name does that work? Adrenalin/caffeine/sugar rush? The quiet of the exam room? The short duration? How? Why can't I repeat that at work?
Thoroughly confused
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Post by contrarymary on Feb 10, 2016 21:47:56 GMT
well done easilydistractedthere is a peculiar phenomenon with adhers where we perform much better under stress - it gets our brains into gear, with the combo of adrenaline and pure fear knocking us into peak performance mode. it's not sustainable, and rather exhausting, but it does get us out of a lot of messes. how else have we survived? there's quite a lot written about this around the forum - have a browse when you've got nothing better to do - inc a school of thought that says we were evolved to be outside the group as the advance party/emergency responders/quick thinkers in a crisis . and some stuff about burning out the adrenal glands by always living on the edge of stress. it's interesting how many untreated / undiagnosed adhders end up very successfully in good careers that use the quick thinking/creative/emergency brain. meanwhile, well done in all you have achieved today. it's not been easy, but you have done the best you could, and that's all we can ever really (realistically!) ask of ourselves. now might be the time to start thinking about how you can make future you have an easier time at work tomorrow by what you do with the rest of this evening. go gently
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Post by easilydistracted on Feb 10, 2016 22:40:45 GMT
well done easilydistracted there is a peculiar phenomenon with adhers where we perform much better under stress - it gets our brains into gear, with the combo of adrenaline and pure fear knocking us into peak performance mode. it's not sustainable, and rather exhausting, but it does get us out of a lot of messes. how else have we survived? there's quite a lot written about this around the forum - have a browse when you've got nothing better to do - inc a school of thought that says we were evolved to be outside the group as the advance party/emergency responders/quick thinkers in a crisis . and some stuff about burning out the adrenal glands by always living on the edge of stress. it's interesting how many untreated / undiagnosed adhders end up very successfully in good careers that use the quick thinking/creative/emergency brain. meanwhile, well done in all you have achieved today. it's not been easy, but you have done the best you could, and that's all we can ever really (realistically!) ask of ourselves. now might be the time to start thinking about how you can make future you have an easier time at work tomorrow by what you do with the rest of this evening. go gently ... outside the group Yep, I'm certainly that emergency responders/quick thinkers in a crisis This! You pretty much describe my last role, the company existed in a state of happy chaos and my role was basically playing whack-a-mole with problems, 80% of a solution now was better than 100% of a solution later. I was good at my job Then, as was probably inevitable, happy chaos company collapsed and was bought over by procedure company, my role was changed from reactive to proactive/preventative and my shortcomings/difficulties have become glaringly obvious. I don't think I wake up until the proverbial is well and truly hitting the fan and starting to fly everywhere. Yes, thank you. That, is my problem. Tonight is try and switch off, I'm on my 3rd bowl of ice cream and now have an avatar You take care too ta
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Post by Kathymel on Feb 10, 2016 22:41:05 GMT
Hi EasilyD.
Well done for passing your exam. What C.Mary said is dead right. Last minute stress and deadlines are one of the few things that motivate an ADHDer. Very handy at times.
Try to go easy on yourself. Finding out about all this stuff is bound to fry your brain.
It took me months to assimilate all the information and to understand the ways in which ADHD impacts on me. I'm sure most people on this forum would say similar.
Don't expect too much of yourself, just because you now know why you struggle. Knowing is a good portion of the battle, for sure, but give yourself time to adjust.
You'll maybe need to work on developing coping strategies and that will take time.
You did good today, give yourself a pat on the back for that.
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Post by vagueandrandom on Feb 10, 2016 23:12:22 GMT
I'm on the ice cream too
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Post by vagueandrandom on Feb 12, 2016 14:57:03 GMT
easilydistracted I hope you're having a better day did the ice-cream do the trick? roland's just posted stuff about employment and disability discrimination/reasonable adjustments. . in the section 'College/Career/Work/Personal Relationship Issues' It's called Workplace accommodations. It may have something useful for you.
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Post by easilydistracted on Feb 13, 2016 13:28:15 GMT
Yes it did, thank you Yesterday was another tough day at work, it seems the worse I do at the things I find difficult, the more the things I can do are taken off me. The boss has even started telling me I don't need to know how things work, loudly, in an open office. I'm curious by nature and this is like a kick in the face. I quietly said that was both hurtful and demeaning. Later I got a text with a partial sorry and that due to pressures at work we had to remain focused on the immediate tasks. So last night was tv, chocolate, cheesecake and ice-cream.... Today is a better day, heading off to the library to see what they have. Edit: nothing on adhd, but several books on autism/asd, one a biography ( I don't normally do these ), the other a self help book for students (it has chapters on social skills and time management). Given the apparent overlap I'm hoping it has some useful stuff in it.
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Post by easilydistracted on Feb 14, 2016 12:45:42 GMT
That went well Doctor didn't know there was anything for adults without prior diagnosis and was pleasantly surprised when I gave her the NICE guidelines with the appropriate parts highlighted. She wrote the referal straight away and asked if she could keep the copies of the letters from work to send with the referal. We then had a bit of a giggle about my school reports They too will be passed to the MHT. Talked a bit, some related, some not, a nice chat. Timescales unknown but the ball is now rolling
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Post by vagueandrandom on Feb 14, 2016 20:29:23 GMT
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Post by Kathymel on Feb 14, 2016 20:35:24 GMT
That went well Doctor didn't know there was anything for adults without prior diagnosis and was pleasantly surprised when I gave her the NICE guidelines with the appropriate parts highlighted. She wrote the referal straight away and asked if she could keep the copies of the letters from work to send with the referal. We then had a bit of a giggle about my school reports They too will be passed to the MHT. Talked a bit, some related, some not, a nice chat. Timescales unknown but the ball is now rolling That's great. So good to have a GP who is prepared to listen when they realise they are mistaken. I hope your MHT are as good. It may take some time from here on in. Some Health Authorities have very long waiting lists. Fingers crossed. Did you tell your work about the possible ADHD, yet?
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Post by Kathymel on Feb 14, 2016 20:47:57 GMT
The boss has even started telling me I don't need to know how things work. My son and I talk about this often. We quite often get distracted by thinking about how things work, whether it's the inner workings of a door handle, the mystery of some couples' relationships or the coding of a game (him, not me). Not saying this is an ADHD trait specifically, but my son is convinced it is. Maybe it's a way of increasing motivation by understanding why something is necessary ... ?
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Post by easilydistracted on Feb 15, 2016 21:51:35 GMT
So good to have a GP who is prepared to listen when they realise they are mistaken. I hope your MHT are as good. It may take some time from here on in. Some Health Authorities have very long waiting lists. Fingers crossed. Did you tell your work about the possible ADHD, yet? Re doctor, she honestly seemed happy to be now able to help and it's nice to think I've maybe helped the next person she encounters. Re work, hmms, I've asked for a copy of the referal letter, hopefully that will drop through the door soon. I'll feel a bit more confident then about speaking to the work. The question will then be, do I take it directly to the HR department or do I take it to the boss? The latter brings her into the circle and may soften things a little. She's not all bad and under a lot of pressure with new projects, so I completely understand if also being made to manage a 46 year child may sometimes feel like a straw too many! Half tempted to wait till she's in a good mood and hand her just a copy of the symptoms and ask her if it's anyone she recognises
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Post by easilydistracted on Feb 15, 2016 22:19:19 GMT
I find that understanding how things work makes them easier to remember. The first time I consciously realised I do this was at school doing A level maths. Differentiation. I could never remember the forumula, but I could work it out from "first principles". Still difficult, and slow, but at least I could then answer the questions that needed the formula. With day to day things it's more useful, and often leads to solving problems or making useful connections, after all, if you don't understand a problem, how can you find a solution? Hmm, I wonder if 'the real Sherlock Holmes' was an ADHDer ... Yes! Absolutely! If you know how all the pieces fit together it's easy to fill in the gaps. Have had to take the same approach in exams as well, knowing the general direction you need to be going in but unsure of how to get there so start with the basics. Watched "The Martian" last night, properly good film, same idea too, break it down and work the problem. Excellent film, thoroughly recommend it to anyone. There is one wee problemo with this, Kathymel touches on it too, understanding the reasons makes it easy to remember. The flip side of that coin being when something, say for example a workplace rule, has no basis in common sense and instead seems just whimsical and to come straight from the "Because I say so" department, it makes it damn hard to obey
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